The sun was shining bright and the air had grown increasingly warmer. The beauty of the city had grown exceptionally more beautiful under the late afternoon sun. Mixtures of gold, red, and blue filled the sky.
Harry and Ava laid across the blanket with their fingers laced together. The once muddy grass had finally dried up, leaving it in the perfect condition for an early spring picnic. She lifted her hand and stretched it out before her. Harry looked over and watched as she bent her fingers in different positions.
"It's funny," She paused, while still holding her hand up, "As a kid, I would look up at the sky and wonder what it would be like to be up there. To sit on a cloud and just watch everyone down on earth going about their days. It then would make me think about what kind of world it would be if we were able to fly up the clouds, sit, and just... observe. Observe the birds and the animals. Observe people in their natural habitat." She sat up, but still kept her eyes up to the sky. Harry just laid there and listened.
"I always wondered if the angels would fly down to the clouds and just watch us. Whenever God would give them a break from doing their angel duties, they would just sit and watch over us. I would imagine different scenarios. They would make bets on which baseball team would win, or who would fall and trip next. I would just think about how they would ask the parents who were up there, that died too young, if they would want to know how their kid was doing." Harry sat up and grabbed her hand softly into his own. "I'd think, as a kid, that my dad would do just that. In my head, he chose an angel to be my guardian and he would make sure that she was watching over my mom and I. Then she would fly back up to him and tell him about how I was doing and how my mom was. That she would tell him when I got an A on my history test, or when I totally botched my piano recital when I was eight."
"When my mom died, I would come over to this park and sit right here and just look up to the clouds and imagine that my guardian angel was now answering to my mom and dad. Telling them both how I was doing and what was going on in my life. I'd would picture them both sitting on this bench in the middle of the Heaven's Town Square, because apparently in my mind heaven was a small town." She giggled as she rolled her eyes at her childish thought. "Anyways. I would just think that man, if that angel saw me right now, what would she tell them? Would I make them proud or worried?"
"What do you think she would say to them now?" She turned her head so that she was now facing him. Their eyes met and a small smile grew on her lips.
"I think she would tell them that I'm finally okay. That I'm happy." She placed her hand on his cheek gently stroking it with her thumb. "That I found you," her voice coming out just above a whisper.
He pulled back and looked up at her. He gave her a genuine smile as he pulled her in so that she was now leaning against his torso.
"I'm happy too." The way he whispered in her ear sent a wave of goosebumps throughout her spine. He moved her hair to the side exposing her fair neck. He began to plant small kisses along the line of her heck to the small exposed part of her shoulder. He began to pull her peacoat off but she quickly got up.
"What-?"
"Sorry, Harry. I just-" She was flustered, that was all he could tell. She began to grab her purse and button her coat.
"Baby, what just happened?" He quickly stood up and grabbed her hands attempting to still her. "Did I do something?"
Her head was dropped. Her brows furrowed and her lip quivering.
"You didn't do anything." Her voice was low and quiet. Her sudden mood change had confused Harry. One moment they were cuddling on the damp grass discussing literature and the clouds, and the next moment she is running from his gentle kiss.
"Well, your jump right there proves differently." His voice wasn't harsh. It fact, it was heavy with concern and worry. "Was it because you talked about your parents?"
"No, I just." She began to chew on her lip, a nervous habit that she was trying to rid herself of. She fiddled with the sleeves of her coat and took a step back. "I wasn't going to tell you this, but I got a response from LA." Harry's ears perked up at the mention of Los Angeles. It had been a few weeks since their talk about the summer; he had almost forgotten.
"Oh. What --" he paused. "Are you moving to LA?"
She looked down at her shoes and slowly nodded her head and whispered a small "yeah". Harry looked down at his shoes as well and began to run his hands through his hair. He knew that the possibility of Ava getting the internship was high. She was smart and talented - something that he would not deny. Yet, the ache in his heart proved that the selfish side of him did not want her to go. The selfish side of him wanted her to give up the internship and move to New York with him. He wanted to see her do well, but he also wanted her to himself and to himself only.
"Congrats" He did mean that. He knew that he did and she knew that too, but the ache in his heart didn't hurt any less. She walked over and wrapped her small arms around his tall structure.
"This doesn't mean that we are ending." She spoke into his jacket. "This just means that we will have to try a bit harder, that's all." She looked up and placed a soft kiss on his own. The moment was sweet, neither one wanting to rush or deepen it.
As they stood their in each others embrace, Harry knew that he needed to let her go. He loved her, that he would not argue. He loved her with everything that he had. He had fallen for her fast; this was something he would never regret. Never once did he expect to fall for this girl before him. She was broken, but so was he. Their love for literature, old books, and chinese food at Christmas brought them closer together. It was inevitable that they would find themselves together.
But like the saying goes, good things have to come to an end.
In their situation, however, this did not mean that their relationship would end. He just knew that he had to let her go so that she could experience her passion. And if this was meant to be, which he hoped with everything in him, then they would work hard for it. Then at the end of the summer, when he comes back for a break before his tour, they would see where they go from there.
But for now, they would have to enjoy the now and not give up on what they have. He wouldn't let the walls that he finally broke down go back up because of something like this. No. He wouldn't allow it.
He finally pulled back and held her face in his hands. He kissed her with a fervour and passion that he didn't know he could muster up. He wanted to show her how much she meant to him. He did not kiss her with his lips but it was with his soul. His soul that longed for her soul; his love that longed for her love.
She pulled him in closer. With the touch of his lips, she felt like her universe was exploding around her. She felt lost in his kiss but with no intention to be found again. Her fingers gripped his jacket and she slipped them under his thin shirt. Her fingers were ice compared to the fire he released. He kissed her cheek, then her nose, then her neck, her ear and lastly, her forehead.
"I'm not going to let this relationship go. You're stuck with me. I fucking love you, Ava Hastings."
A tear began to slide down her cheek. He pushed it away with his thumb and kissed the spot that the tear touched. "Why are you crying?"
"This is the first time I've been happy, truly happy, since my mom died. I didn't think it was possible to be this happy again."
"You have no fucking idea how happy you make me." He kissed her once more. "I'm really learning to trust and love again. Something I didn't think was possible. I thought my life was going to be shitty for the rest of my life. But then I walked into that coffee shop and stumbled my words like an idiot because I finally saw what happiness looked like. I forgot how fucking great it was until I saw you, Ava."
She smiled but could feel her face blush. He pushed a piece of hair away from her face and tucked it behind her ear. "You are my happiness, Harry." Her voice was small but it was heavy with truth and certainty.
That night after a day of enjoying each other's company, Harry took out his journal and began to write. He was working on a series of poems that he started from the day he first met her at Mita's. He hadn't realized they were about her until one day he stopped and read one. He picked up his pen and began to write...
After a while, my hurting began to fade
The earth shattering hopelessness
vanished -
And I thought of her.
The fingerprints on my heart matched her own.
After a while I realized, she made me okay.
And I learnt what it meant to love again.
Her existence cut me deep
and would not heal.
Yet I did not want it to.
And it was because of her,
And her smile,
and her infectious love that caught me.
Tenderly I hold her close
Because I will know that she is mine and I am hers.
He closed the leather notebook and bounded it. Lifting his arms, he stretched up. He looked over at his door and something caught his eye. It was an envelope. The hell? He thought to himself.
He walked over and pulled it out. He had been in his apartment for a few hours now and had not noticed this before. He opened it up carefully. A small folded piece of paper was inside. He took it out carefully and unfolded the piece of paper.
Harry:
I am sure you are confused, and I get that. I am in the city and have something that Delaine wanted me to give to you in person.
Meet me tomorrow at 4pm at the park on 23rd and Duke.
Levi
It had been months since Levi and Harry last talked. It had been around New Years when he sent the letter from Delaine. It was the letter that gave him the final push to move on and forget his past. He was finally moving on from it. He had finally let her go. What possible could he have that he couldn't have sent him previously?
He scratched his neck nervously. He placed the letter on his table and walked over to his bed. He knew that whatever it would be, he would not allow it to stop him from moving forward. He was done with his past. He was down with Delaine.
--
Drama is comin'.
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