[Trigger Warning: I usually don't give these (even though I should) but I wanted to state this in advance--shit goes down and it's not pretty.
For anyone that suffers or has suffered from any form of abuse, this chapter might be unbearable to read. But I will let you know that you shouldn't have to feel obligated to read. Do what you feel is comfortable for you. And some (hopefully) helpful words: whatever you're going through, whatever you've survived, doesn't have to define you. Only you define you, and you can change your life for the better. So seek help, no matter how afraid you may be. Please, if not for your own sake, than for those you truly love. There can't always be darkness at the end of the tunnel, especially if you bust your way through like a badass.
Have a wonderful day. I love y'all. <3]
Stay Creepy, My Friends!~
Chapter 17
Elizabeth's POV
Voices whispered from somewhere nearby. My body still ached like it was sore and I could feel where all of my bruises were. The air smelled clean but new, like I was in a different place. It felt like I was laying on a bed, and it was extremely comfy and plush. The voices were becoming more distinct as I began waking up fully. They spoke in a strange language, one involving some tongue clicks and hisses.
Once I finally opened my eyes, the first thing I saw was a dark gray ceiling with sliver embroidery at the edges. I furrowed my brow, confused as to where I was. What I noticed though was that the whispers stopped. Out of the corner of my vision, to my right, I saw something move, and I turned my head to look. A loud gasp escaped my mouth when I laid my sights on a dark figure, with big, round, white eyes staring at me. It was hunched near the bed, frozen in a position that made it seem like it was backing away. Regardless if it wasn't doing anything, I panicked and turned onto my side to kick it.
I managed to barely graze its head and it fell back with a whine. Hands grabbed onto my left shoulder to force me onto my back, and when I looked over I saw another strange entity exactly like the one I kicked. Without hesitation, I jerked its hands off of me and elbowed it in its face. Both figures scrambled and met up together at the foot of my bed, cowering.
"What the fuck," I muttered, backing up against the bed's headboard. Both of them looked slim and their dark robes hung off of them like curtains. Black tendrils also hung down from their heads like hair, nearly going the length of their bodies. They appeared to not have any mouths, or other features besides their big, pale eyes. They had the dark skin and eyes of Corrupted but I could sense that they were different. I looked down at myself to find that I was a wearing silk, red gown. But that wasn't what surprised me. What surprised me was my wrapped up, right arm that lay limp to my side.
Glaring up at the humanoid figures, I growled, "Where the hell am I? What did you do to me?"
The first entity I kicked whispered timidly to the other. The second entity nodded and gently pushed the first forward. The first entity rubbed its slender hands together nervously and started speaking to me in that language from earlier. There was no way I could understand it though, and only shook my head with confusion.
"I can't understand you," I said. The entity I kicked faltered their speech and turned to the other, probably wondering what to do now. The entity I elbowed scratched its head and remarked something in its language. The first, timid, midnight black figure shuffled closer to me and I moved away from it. It reached out to me, trying to touch my bandaged arm, which I was still astounded by.
The entity crawled over the edge of the bed and I ended up falling over the other side in my attempt to avoid it. I fell to the floor on my back and groaned from the ache of my bruises. The second entity rushed over to help me but I yelled at it and kicked it away. Just as I stood to run out of the room, Zalgo appeared next to me and chuckled.
Elizabeth, is that any way to treat your precious servants?
"What?" I grumbled. His expression was as placid and pleased as ever.
They were once my servants, but now they are yours. They're the ones who have been tending to your arm.
I glanced down at my bandaged limb and I could feel it gaining its sense of touch again. Glancing at the strange humanoids, I questioned, "What are they?"
My creations. They do all of the things I don't want to do, like cleaning--other chores of that sort.
"So, they're maids? Or...butlers?" I murmured, staring at them intently. They looked feminine but I couldn't be sure what their sex was with their robes and their...whatever their species is. They could be nothing, for all I know.
Servants, yes.
Zalgo walked towards them and circled the two, who stood together again. The humanoids seemed unfazed by his presence and I guessed they couldn't see him. He placed his hands on their shoulders and smiled at me.
This one is named Sudryl.
He motioned his head to the entity to my left, the one I elbowed.
And this one is Zazel.
He motioned his head to the one I originally kicked. With a gentle air, he patted their heads, then returned back to my side.
They do not know how to speak your language. They have developed their own.
"It's a wonder they can speak at all," I retorted, regarding their lack of mouths.
Their sound is telepathic, I presume. They probably communicate with those long appendages from their heads.
I shot the well-dressed man a look and muttered, "You made them, but you don't even know how they work?" He shrugged.
Why should I care how they exist? What matters is that they abide to me--well, to you now.
"So how can I communicate with them?" I asked.
Well, Zazel was trying to show you how, until you so rudely avoided him. Her. It. I don't know. Like I said, I don't care.
Rolling my eyes, I walked forward towards the one named Zazel. "Teach me how to communicate with you," I told the servant.
Zazel and Sudryl shared glances, before Zazel gently grabbed both of my hands. Then, they kneeled down and placed the backs of my hands against their forehead. I stood still, waiting for something big to happen, like a foreign sensation or flashy magic. Nothing happened so I sighed and craned my head to look at Zalgo.
"I'm not getting anything," I muttered.
Impatient as always, Elizabeth.
"This is ridiculous," I hissed and pulled my hands away from Zazel.
"My apologies. I did not mean to anger you," a soft voice whispered out and I froze in my place. Zazel looked up at me, still kneeling.
"Was that you...?" I said under my breath.
"Have I angered you, Master? If so, you can punish me," they said in that delicate, airy voice.
I shook my head and looked at Sudryl. "And you?"
"What about me, Master?" Sudryl replied.
"Holy crap, I can understand them," I mumbled.
Aren't they delightful, my dear?
Zalgo came to stand next to me, marveling at his creations. I shifted my gaze back and forth between him and the humanoid duo. Then a thought came to mind and I frowned.
"Wait, if you can allow these two to communicate, why not Caedis?"
Zalgo chuckled again.
He is merely a weapon, Elizabeth. A tool. A thing. Zazel and Sudryl do not have any special abilities like he does. They are harmless and only meant to do simple work. Since they are weaker, they are of no threat. Meanwhile, Caedis would have the potential to become his own individual whom could overthrow his master if he was able to develop free thought like Zazel and Sudryl.
"Deprive the dangerous one of a consciousness and you'll have no problem?"
Exactly. See, you understand me, dear...!
"Oh, fuck off," I groaned. And he disappeared.
"Are you asking for Mister Caedis, Master?" Sudryl asked.
"He is in another room within the residence," Zazel added, standing up again.
So he's still alive. "He's here? How?"
"We bring him back here by magic to allow him to reconvene," Sudryl replied.
Zazel lowered their head and murmured, "Yes, he needed to recover. From the Blood."
I furrowed my brow. "You mean my blood?"
"Yes. Blood. The Blood. Your Blood."
"That's a bad thing, I'm guessing."
Sudryl gave a graceful nod and explained, "He cannot drink of the blood by which he was created from."
"You share Lord Zalgo's blood, therefore he cannot drink yours," Zazel said.
"And...what happens if he drinks too much of my blood?"
Sudryl and Zazel glanced at each other again, before Sudryl answered, "He will deteriorate to nothing, Master. As will we, but we would never dare to consume the Blood."
So Caedis has one ultimate weakness, a weakness that shouldn't occur often but still can--if he pisses me off enough. I'll keep this in mind.
Looking down at my arm, I murmured, "Is this my real arm?"
The duo nodded. Zazel said, "We helped you grow it back."
"Grow it back?"
The both of them nodded again. "We were about to remove the bandages before we disturbed your slumber, Master," Sudryl responded.
I frowned and grumbled, "Okay, first of all, don't call me that. It makes me uncomfortable."
Zazel cocked their head. "We were not allowed to call Lord Zalgo anything else but 'Master'. It was only fair since he was our creator. Now that you are in his stead, you are our Master."
"Well, since I'm Master, I order you both to call me by my name, Elizabeth Umber," I commanded. It felt so strange to command them in my position. It's unnatural. I shouldn't be their master, shouldn't be in Zalgo's stead.
"Yes, Madame Umber," the duo said in unison, which made me shiver a little. Wasn't the name I was going for, but it's better than Master, I suppose.
"Can you two remove my bandages now?" I asked, holding my arm up. It finally gained full sensory feeling during the past few minutes I've been up.
"Yes, Madame Umber," Sudryl and Zazel said, and came forward to help me. The two sat me down at the edge of the bed and worked to remove the bandages from my arm. Grimacing, I watched as black, slimy gunk was peeled away along with the wrapping and coated my entire arm.
"What the hell is this?" I groaned with disgust, poking at my squishy limb.
"It was formed upon your regeneration, Madame," Sudryl answered.
"It helps to preserve and revitalize your arm," Zazel added.
"Not exactly the best looking thing," I remarked. Zazel walked over to an endtable by the queen-sized, regal bed and picked up a cloth. They dipped it within a bowl of water and then wiped the dampened cloth on my arm to remove the gunk. It was jarring feeling the warm towel on my skin, and it was jarring seeing actual skin. I have an arm again. A flesh arm, an arm that can feel, an arm that is completely mine. I can move my fingers and feel my fingernails and clench my hand into a fist. I'm...whole again.
"Thank you, both of you...," I murmured.
Zazel abruptly froze and looked at me with those pure white eyes. They glanced at the other sibling and then hesitantly replied, "Y...You are welcome..."
After Zazel finished cleaning off all of the slime from my arm, I was able to see that one of the mouths that was previously on my left bicep had moved to my right forearm to match the other. It was as I looked at the mouths did I realize that they weren't whispering anymore. Then I remembered everything that I had done before I blacked out and traveled to...wherever I am now. A sickening feeling burned in the pit of my stomach and I clenched my fists.
The last thing I saw was Ao gaping at me in horror, her hands pressed against that blue bubble of hers. And then the screams. Those horrible, shrilled, terrified screams. I killed them, all of those people. I don't even know how many it was, but there were so many heartbeats and I made them all stop. To feed the mouths. To feed me. I gave in. I fucking gave in...!
Trying not to think about my wrongdoings, I gazed around at the room, taking in all of the details. The ceiling was gray with the silver embroidery at the edges, and there was a silver lighting fixture in the center. The bed I sat on had red sheets and pillows. The floor was carpeted with a warm, dark gray. The walls were crimson with faint floral patterns. There was a desk to the right side of the room, along with a wall of bookshelves holding various books. There were red curtains on the far end of the room covering the windows, and a faint light was glowing past the fabric. In between the curtains were two black, wooden double doors with silver doorknobs. Everything in this room looked elegant and regal, like something within a mansion or castle.
"You mentioned this being a residence," I told Zazel. They nodded, and I added, "What do you mean by that?"
"This was Lord Zalgo's abode," Zazel answered. "His home and resting place."
"It is a castle," Sudryl started knowingly. "He designed it to look like that of the fortifications of the human's Medieval European era. He favored their style the most, though he added much more contemporary decor and functionality."
"And where does this home reside?" I questioned.
"Within his domain," Zazel replied.
I blinked. "I'm...in his realm?" The duo nodded. Then, the two of them walked over to the double doors at the far end of the room, their strides in sync. I stood from the bed and tentatively followed them. They took to either side of the doors, grabbed the silver handles, then opened the doors. When they opened the doors, a bright, vermillion light seeped through and I narrowed my eyes as they adjusted. Once I could see clearly and stepped out onto the balcony, I was astounded.
Up above, the sky was a dark red and violet with rolling clouds everywhere. An orange sun, or what looked to be one, gleamed over jagged mountains and tall spires. Between them, within valleys, was a constant moving fog that was so thick I wasn't able to see the ground, if there was one. The horizon held more perpetual land filled with more fog and shining, orange light. The wind was gentle and cool against my skin and smelled like rain, though I doubted that was what it was. Everything here looked like anything that was on Earth, yet there was an ethereal atmosphere that made all of this intangible. It was clear that this was not the human realm and its existence and vastness was nearly overwhelming. I've known of different realms when I became the proxy, but never could I dream that I'd travel to one, especially Zalgo's.
As I stood on the balcony, a hand rested on my shoulder and I turned my head to see Zalgo again. The orange sunlight brightened his eyes, made his irises more scarlet than crimson. He breathed in, then out, and smiled at me.
This, my dear Elizabeth, was my first crowning achievement. My own realm. My home. Created long before the human realm--before most realms. Now, I bestow it upon you to rule over.
Gulping, I looked back at the expansive landscape beyond the balcony rail and clenched my silk gown nervously. Zalgo leaned closer and pressed his head against mine in a loving fashion.
Welcome to your queendom, Elizabeth. Welcome home.
Either he didn't notice or he didn't care, but I trembled anxiously in his embrace. After staring off at the faraway spires and mountains, I stepped out of his hold and gripped onto the balcony railing. Far below the fog consumed the ground and was all I could see. Vertigo set in and I closed my eyes tight.
"N-No...," I murmured quietly.
No?
I shook my head. "This isn't my home. Not right now. I...I still need some time to get my bearings." I could sense the annoyance from the former Lord of Chaos, but he only sighed softly and tenderly squeezed my shoulder.
Fine. I suppose it wouldn't be right to lay this responsibility onto you so soon. Someday, I'm sure you will come to rule with full confidence. Until then, this land and this castle is here for you, whenever you need them.
Suddenly, Zalgo placed a kiss at my temple and patted my back.
Rest well, my Queen.
And then he was gone again, and I was left leaning over the balcony rail, nauseated but unable to throw up. I looked at my right arm, at both of my hands, at the mouth tattoos that lay motionless on my skin. The proxy symbol wasn't on my right wrist, while the other symbol was starting to fade away. Once it's gone, all I will have left are my scars and these mouths--these hungry, ravenous mouths.
Then I looked at the rings on my left hand and tightened my jaw. I brushed my right fingertips against them, going over the silver and blue on each. They sparkled at me, reflecting the otherworldly orange sunlight that streaked across the sky. Before I knew it, tears fell from my eyes and I shut them tight. I clenched my left hand into a fist and held it against my chest. A sob escaped my lips and more soon followed.
How did I end up here? What happened along the way? What could I have done better? Where did it all go wrong? My past days of living in my hometown in Illinois seem so far away now. My past days of being with Jeff seem even farther. And any future with him seems almost impossible at this point, though I don't want to believe that. But there's far too much blood on my hands, too much sin on my shoulders, now than ever before. The gentle, blue eyed, introverted Elizabeth from three years ago would be appalled knowing she would turn out like this: the very thing she set out to destroy. Dammit, where did I screw this all up?
"Madame Umber," Sudryl's voice called out from the bedroom.
Slowly, I turned to look at the humanoid duo. Hesitantly, Sudryl stepped out and said, "You have been unconscious for some days now. We initially bathed you, but I believe it would be best if you bathed again and were given new clothes."
Without any protest, I nodded and walked away from the balcony, not once looking back at the landscape I was to rule.
...
Reese's POV
Ben hasn't been responding to my text messages. I would try calling him, but that's exclusively for emergency situations, and I wouldn't want to cry wolf when there isn't anything to cry about. The only thing he left me with was the Chevelle and that mien of worry on his face when he ran out those karaoke bar doors. All of this worrying and boredom would probably be easier to bear if it hadn't lasted an entire week. But I suppose it's understandable that he's so busy (I hope that's the case) because of the news that came out a few hours after Ben had left me on Saturday.
379.
That's the number of people that died in Cincinnati, Ohio that Saturday after noon. That's the number of people that died just a state away from Indiana. No injured. No survivors. An entire area decimated by a bombing, or freak earthquake, or "those damned demon-monsters" (Corrupted), or fuckin' aliens. No one knows the real reason why it happened, but I can take a good guess that it wasn't anything normal or conventional, though definitely not stupid aliens. But hearing about this doesn't lessen my concern for Ben now that I know of a reason for him leaving; knowing that this was the reason only upset me further.
Needless to say, I've become a little more...moody, since he left. Initially, since I thought he'd come back soon, I kept telling myself not to worry, that I had to trust he'd come back. Now, just thinking about him gets me annoyed because he isn't with me and he can't even respond to my dozens of texts for reasons that I'm sure are serious but I fucking hate those reasons because they're keeping him away when I know I'm his break and he really needs a break.
I forgot that I was even relapsing because Ben had been hanging out with me so much that he distracted me. Since he's gone, my relapse has come back to hit me again. Add that and my concern and I've become an irritable mess of a human being. But I hold it in, in hopes that I won't launch things off with a little tantrum when Ben returns again. That's the last thing I'd want to do after whatever he's going through, the last thing I want to do ever.
But that's hard to avoid when you end up having the most vivid nightmare about your dad, and he isn't a dark shadow this time, and you can't even call it a nightmare because it's actually a memory. A horrible, horrible memory.
...
Two hours before my bedtime, I made the stupid mistake of not putting a towel down on the bathroom floor after I took a shower. My six-year-old self just stepped out and dried himself off, then changed and brushed his hair all neat like Mom always likes it.
An hour and a half before bedtime, Dad walks into the bathroom and slips, nearly hitting his head on the edge of the sink. Hunter and I were in the living room, trying to make random stuff out of his cool collection of Legos. He was ten at the time. He was one of the cool kids in his 5th grade student class, always the jokester, but still nice to his teacher. His smile could brighten anyone's day, even if he was missing a tooth that he lost last week and gave to the tooth fairy (which she gladly took and gave back two gleaming, silver quarters). And his smile would continue to brighten peoples' day, even when he wasn't missing a tooth, when he was hurting inside. This was about to be one of those moments where he'd start hurting inside.
Hunter and I stopped playing Legos as we heard Dad curse in anger down the hallway. My brother hesitantly stood up and said aloud, "Daddy, are you okay? What happened?"
Suddenly, Dad stormed down the hallway towards the living room. He stopped at the entrance, next to the TV that played a cartoon at a soft volume. His eyes were flaring with fury and his cheeks were flushed red. Hunter tensed up in his spot while I sat on the floor, more confused than scared, which is what I should have been.
"Who was the last one to take a bath?" Dad asked, seething.
Slowly, I raised my small hand, still confused, starting to get a little scared.
"Get over here, now," he ordered sharply, and I shakily got to my feet.
As soon as I came close to Dad, he grabbed my arm and yanked me down the hallway to the bathroom. I started whining, murmuring that he was squeezing my wrist too tight, but he didn't listen. Suddenly he slams the bathroom door open and shoves me forward, angling my head down to the floor.
"Do you see all of that water, Reese?" he growled.
I nodded.
"That's a lot of water. Why didn't you clean it up?"
Quietly, I answered, "I-I forgot..."
"You forgot?"
I nodded again.
Dad huffed, then let go of my head and arm. I sighed, releasing a breath I hadn't known I had been holding.
Suddenly, I was shoved forward and I landed on the puddle of water on the bathroom floor. Before I could pick myself up, Dad kneeled down and held me down, hissing, "I didn't raise an idiot son, do you understand? You don't just forget to clean up a giant puddle of bath water! But you can remember to ask for new toys at the store, can't you?!"
"D-Daddy, I'll clean it up," I whimpered, the cold floor and water stinging the right side of my face.
"Will you? Or will you forget immediately like a dumbass?" Then, he picked me up by my shirt collar and stood me up. "Clean this up. Right now."
Frantically, I nodded and grabbed for one of the towels folded by a shelf that held Hunter's and I's toothpaste, bath toys, and other things. As soon as I took a towel, Dad yanked me away by the shirt collar again, choking me for a moment.
"Don't dirty another fucking towel!" he barked.
Again, he shoved me forward to allow me to figure out how I'd clean up my mess. Since I couldn't use a towel, I resorted to the only other thing I could use: toilet paper. So I pulled out a whole bunch from the roll but Dad yanked my arm again and hissed, "Now you're wasting paper?! How stupid are you?!"
"I-I don't know what you want," I murmured, on the verge of tears.
"I want you to stop being a stupid little brat and clean up your fucking mess!" he yelled.
"I'm trying, Daddy! But you're not letting me--."
SMACK.
I staggered to the side as the entire left side of my face burned like nothing I'd ever felt. It took me a few seconds to process what had just happened, and when I realized it I began to cry.
"Don't you talk back at me like that, you little shit," Dad hissed right next to my ear and I cringed away from him, sobbing.
"M-M...M-Mo....m," I whimpered, my eyes shut.
"Your mother isn't here. She wouldn't do jack-shit, if she was. She never does. She's a worthless woman, Reese. And just like her, you're a worthless son."
All I could do was sob as my face still hurt where Dad slapped me.
"Quit your crying already and clean up your mess," he ordered harshly. I only sobbed and trembled in my spot.
"Are you deaf now? Clean. Up. Your. Fucking. Mess!!!"
"MOMMY!!!" I shrieked, desperate for her voice and hugs and protection.
SMACK.
The left side of my face burned more. My tears kept flowing. My stomach felt queasy. Hot liquid suddenly spread down my legs from in between and pooled at my feet. That only made Dad angrier.
"Disgusting. You're fucking disgusting!" Dad growled at me, then grabbed at the back of my neck, forcing me down onto my knees. Once I realized he was trying to push me into the messy puddle, I screamed and held out my hands to resist. He kept shoving me down and my head bobbed back and forth as I fought him. But he was an adult, a strong one, and I was only six years old. I fell onto the floor, crying and trying not to intake the rancid water.
All of a sudden, I heard Dad grunt and he let go of me. I glanced up to see Hunter with his arms wrapped around Dad's head, trying to pull him away from me as best as he could. He managed to yank Dad down onto his back but that was all. In the next moment, Dad grabbed Hunter's shirt, yanked him down onto the floor and got on top of him. The doorway covered Hunter's upper-body so all I could see was his flailing legs as he screamed and cried while Dad smacked him like he smacked me.
"Daddy! No! Please! Stop it!" I screamed, but he didn't listen for a second.
"How dare you try to hurt me, you piece of shit!" Dad roared, still hitting Hunter.
"I was protecting Reese!" my brother fired back, and I could tell he was trying to muster up as much bravery as he could.
"A little fuck-up like you has no business protecting an even littler fuck-up!" Dad yelled.
"I'm still going to protect him!" Hunter screamed. "I'll take all of his beatings if I have to!"
Still lying on the floor, I looked up to see Dad bearing an evil grin on his face. He chuckled tauntingly and said, "Oh, really? Then be my guest. Let your brother know how much of a fucking burden he is by taking his punishments."
"Hunter, don't!" I cried.
"As long as you don't hit him, that's all that matters," Hunter said, but his tears affected his voice. Still, his strength was there and I sobbed.
"Both of you," Dad growled, "so god damned stupid. So god damned worthless...!"
And he kept hitting him and hitting him, and at one point Hunter stopped crying and just uttered small grunts and groans. And then eventually, he stopped making noise altogether and that's when Dad finally got off of him. He snapped his attention towards me and I made a quiet squeak of fear. Before I could crawl away, he grabbed me by the shirt and dragged me to the doorway. Once he dropped me, he forced my head up and all I could see was Hunter lying on the floor, his eyes closed, his face red from Dad's fists, his bottom lip bleeding.
"Look at what you did, Reese," Dad whispered lowly to me.
Shaking my head, I murmured, "N-No, it's not my fault..."
"Then is it Hunter's fault?"
"N-No...!"
"So...? Who's fault is it?"
I looked up into his gray eyes, the same eyes that I see whenever I look into the mirror. But they were darker and more frightening than mine, like a monster's--though still mine. The way he glowered down at me made me feel smaller than I was, made me feel like I wasn't even a human being to him. I so desperately wanted to admit it was his fault, but the stinging ache at the side of my face and the sight of Hunter unconscious kept those thoughts shoved deep down.
Sniveling, I lowered my head and said, "It's my fault...."
Dad chuckled and hissed, "Remember that, Reese."
And I did. For the rest of my fucked up childhood, and long after it ended. And for Hunter, that night was when his childhood had ended completely, and guess what?
It was all my fault.
...
Waking up from that dream was a disaster in and of itself. My pillow was soaked with sweat, my hair stuck to my skin, my breath was heavy, and my entire body trembled. At first, my panic turned to anger so I hurtled my pillows to the floor and aggressively kicked my blanket off the bed. Then my anger turned to sadness and I curled up against the wall, trying to restrain my quivering bottom lip. And I did something I haven't done in a long time. I cried. The tears were salty and fell in such a great amount but I could barely register that I was crying. And I cried, quietly, silently, so no one would hear, so that I couldn't even hear myself because I don't ever want to fucking hear my god-awful crying. Never again.
I need Ben.