I raced to work, unsure what my boss would think when I walked through that door late. I had never been late to anything, always professionally early, but I had over slept with Amy and forgot I had to be at work early this morning. When I walked through the door I was surprisingly only a minute late. I breathed a sih of relief and clocked in. The boys sat around the toolbox as I shoved on my jacket uniform. "Why do you look..." Tim, one of my good friends, said. "I was late this morning. Amy had me all caught up in her that I lost track of time. I'm only a minute late." I said walking towards them. They all laughed. We dispersed to our stations and began working on the cars that were brought into us. My first one was a soccer moms van. The breaks and gas pedal were sticky, and she was worried she'd get into an accident. I told her it would be about two days or so because if she wanted it to be safe, I wanted to drive it first to make sure it was safe.
"Did you guys catch the game last night?" I asked as everyone else worked. "Hell yeah. Great game." Tim yelled from under the car he was working on. "I watched it with Maddy. I'm surprised she knew what was going on. Later she told me her dad was the football coach in middle school, and she used to play." Paul said from the work bench. "I watched it with Amy but she didn't really get what was going on. I explained everything to her and I think she's getting the hang of it." I said laughing, "She likes NASCAR more."
"Only cause her pop is a racer." Tim said leaning against the car now. "Well of course. She's also raced herself." I said
They all stopped for a moment, taken back about what I just said. "What?" I asked confused. "Amy's raced before?" Tim asked.
"Yeah. At Oakshade, the place we used to take all those girls." I laughed, thinking back to the memories. "So you're tellin' me all this time we took all those girls to the races when your true girl was out there getting dirty?" Paul asked laughing. "Yeah." I chuckled.
I got home later that night, seeing a note from Amy. "Out with my mama and the girls. Be back tomorrow morning. xoxoxoxo" I sighed and plopped myself down on the couch to watch a little bit of the news.
Before I knew it, the morning sun was waking me up in my warm bed. I rolled over to see a mess of carmel hair laying on the pillow next to me. I smiled and inhaled the smell of the freshly cut grass next doors. Amy stirred awake and drowsley smiled at me. "Morning sunshine." I said tucking her hair behind her ear. "Morning." She whispered. Every morning she seemed to take my breathe away. Like the night I had to pick her up from a friends party. She woke up the next morning with smeared makeup and a pounding headache. Even though she felt hideous I thought I was looking at perfection. She constantly complained about how she looked like a racoon, so she removed all her makeup. I was amazed that someone could look so beautiful in the sunlight, without makeup.
She wrapped her arms around me and scooched coser to me in the bed. Her warmth surounded my body as our skin touched. She kissed my lips tightly and then looked me dead in the eyes. It was like my kisses were intoxicating, she couldn't stop smiling after every kiss, nor could she get enough of my kisses. She rolled herself onto me and kissed me over and over again. After finally having her fix of my kisses; she laid her head on my chest and we both just breathed. I could her feel her heart beat almost the same beat as mine, I felt every breath she took, I could feel her eyelashes brush my bare chest, all of this was so precious to me.
Before I knew it I was rushing around to get ready for work, five mintues late to work. I cussed a storm as I walked over to the car I was working on. "Another late day?" The guys laughed near the work bench. I laughed, "At least it's worth it." They all agreed and went back to working on their veichles. "Brantley?" A voice said behind me as I crouched down next to the car I was working on. I stood and turned around to see my boss standing there. He didn't look mad, so I assumed he didn't know I was late today. "I'm gonna need you to run some parts for me later today. Over in oaksdale." He said pointing to a box near the garge door. "The adress is on the bod, the guy said to just leave it outside the main door if he wasn't there when you got there."
"When do I need to leave?"
"After your shift is through. I'll pay you over time because it's such a long drive."
I was relived that I was going to be paid to drive two whole hours just to drop off a tiny box of parts.
I finished out my day and packed several boxes in the back of my truck. Before leaving I called Amy to inform her I was going to be late.
"That's fine. What time will you be back?" She asked.
"Around 11:30 I hope. No promises."
"Alright babe. I will see you then. I love you."
"Love you too Amy."
We hung up and I began on my adventure to Oaksdale. The sky turned a bright orange, with streaks of purple and pink in it. I wondered if Amy was admiring it with me wishing I was there like I was wishing she was here. The music played soft country melodies as I took the countries roads that wondered through woods and out along feilds. The sky began to grow dimmer as the sunlight began to fade. I turned on my lights and continued onto the highway that would take me straight to Oaksdale.
While driving I thought about all that I've endured while with Amy. I remember the first time ever Amy had an accident during one of her races. Her car flipped several times and smashed into the concrete wall. Her dad was the first on the secene, I swear I've never seen that man run so fast in my life. I jumped the fence and ran down the track side as fast as my legs could carry me. With adrenline pumping, her father and I pulled the car off its side and yanked Amy from the wreckage. To my surprise Amy was fine, and infact she was laughing.
Memories filled my head as I listened to the radio in the darnkess. Pictures of Amy flashed into my mind and when songs played. Songs that held so much meaning to me. I tapped the steering wheel along with the beat and smiled at the good parts.
"Well I'm just worried." Amy said as we walked up the staircase to her parents house. "They're pretty strict."
I shooke my head and smiled, "I've got this."
A tall grey haired man opened the door and waved us in, "Welcome." He said as we passed through the door. A women in an apron scurried around the kitchen finishing up the desert. "Oh my." she said walking towards Amy. "We've missed you dear." she said kissing Amy's cheek. She opened her arms and embraced me tightly. Her father gave me a firm hand shake and patted me on the shoulder.
We sat down at the dinner table and Amy began grace. I know I was supposed to bow my head and close my eyes but I couldn't help but observe the beauty of their family. I had never had a close family like this, I wanted to be apart of this family, I wanted to have a family like this of my own.
Amy washed dishes with her mom as me and her dad chatted about sports and education. "I plan to go on to become a lawyer but the chances of me having enough money to do so just makes things harder." I said sighing. "Understandible. I could probably fund you. That is if you keep my little girl safe." He said nudging my shoulder. "I'd do that with or without money sir." I smiled. "Good." he said patting my shoulder again. "What's your plan on family?" He asked. I was a little taken back, I had never had someone ask me such a question. "I'd like to have kids. Maybe 2, at max three. I want a family that sticks together. I would like to teach them that when the world is against you, no matter what, you will always have your family."
"Sounds like a good plan." He said. For a moment I thought he was crying, maybe I was right, but I wouldn't know because he sucked it up.
"We had two sons. We still have Mich around but Amy's older brother Michelle passed away in a drunk driving accident." This was news to me.
"I'm so sorry. Amy never told me this happened. How long ago did it hapen?"
"About three years ago. It tore us all apart because we were such a close family. I thought we'd lose our little Amy too. She was so lost without Mike. She spent her nights at parties, not coming home for two to three days. Strangers would drop her off." Something clicked in my mind.
"That wasn't a stranger sir. That was me. I took her home everytime she called me."
"I thank you. From the bottom of my heart, I don't think she would have been here if it weren't for you. Then came along her last boyfriend. I didn't know it but he laid his hands on my daughter. Boy I gave that boy a good ass whoopin." He said
"Amy spoke about a boy who tried standing up for her once. Knocked his teeth right from his skull. Poor boy." He shook his head. I laughed and showed him my fake tooth, "that was me as well." He took me in his arms and squeezed me tightly. "I know we just got to knowing eachother but you have my blessing. I'd like to welcome you to our family. Any man willing to take blows, or give rides home to my drunken daughter is a man I need to make sure sticks around."
I shook my head from the memory and smiled. I needed to concentrate on the road. I glanced at the clock, 9 O'clock. There was no way I was going to make this delivery before they closed. I stopped at a gas station to get food and gas. As I walked in I noticed a familliar face, one I wasn't to fond of. Amy's ex boyfriend, the one who abused her, stood at the cash register buying cigarettes. I darted towards the chip isle and hoped he didn't see me. He walked out, without spotting me, I sighed in relief.
I had an hour to go and was dreading the drive home. I was tired and missing Amy, but I let my mind wonder to the good times we've ad together.
I remember the first time Amy meet my mother, she was covered in mud. My mom was so shocked, yet pleased to see I had picked a girl who knew how to have fun. "Change them clothes before you sit your ass on these seats." She laughed. Amy and I snuck out to the back of the cattle barn and I cleaned her with the hoze. Amy sprayed me with the freezing cold water, I could feel my insides freeze. She giggled as I looked up at her. Her laugh was so contagious, I couldn't help but laugh with her. Her bare skin shined in the warm sun, even though she was shivering from being cold. I watched as she slipped back into her jeans and shirt. I wanted soo badly to stare at her in her lace, but I kept quiet. We dried off and walked the path up the the house. My mom sat in her rocking chair, waiting for us. "I'm Patti." She said standing and givnig Amy a hug. Amy hugged her back, "I'm Amy. I'ts nice to finally meet you. I've heard so much about you."
"I have heard some stories about you too." she replied.
"You're the girl my son took a hit for. He also snuck out at 3 am to come get you from parties."
Amy hung her head, remebering her past. "mom" I whispered, shooting her a look. "A girl who fought every minute for my son." She added. I saw a smile appear on Amy's face, nice save.
I sipped on my coffee as I reached my destination. The parking lot was bare, and ony one light lit the building. I jumped from my truck and sat the box down next to the door. Climbing back into the truck I dialed Amy's number. No answer. I merged onto the highway heading back home, dialed her again, no answer. I scratched my head confused, until finally my phone lit up. "Hey babe." I cooed. "Hey." she said in her tired voice. "Aw did I wake you up?" I asked sadly. "Not really. I was just letting my eyes rest. Hows your trip?"
"Good. I'm coming home right now."
"Yay. I'll be waiting." She giggled softly.
"Have you been drinking?" I laughed.
"Just some wine." She snickered over the phone.
"Sounds like a whole box of wine." I said jokingly.
"NOOOO" We both laughed.
"Could you stay on the phone till I get home?" I asked
"Yeah!" She chirped. I put the phone on speacker phone and sat it in my holder. "I miss you." she said sighing. "I miss you too babe."
"How far did you have to drive again?"
I ignored her question as I was studying the lights coming towards me, beyond the hill. "Hold on babe." I said concentraiting. As the lights quickly approached they seemed to be on my side of the road. My heart beated quickly as I came closer to it. Then the lights disapeared. I sighed in relief until a black object struck my truck. Everything went black, I laid somewhere, unsure where. I could hear a voice, Amy's. "Bentley?" she asked. Her voice became more frantic and louder. "BENTLEY ANSWER ME." Sounds began to fade, and the crying coming from amy became distant. I saw a faint light infront of me, I felt my body relax in relief, thinking it was help.
I woke in a hospital bed. I saw Amy holding my hand next to me. Her mascara was runny and she looked sleep deprived. I tried to lift my hand to touch her head but couldn't. I tried opening my lips to speak, but had no power to. How could I have no power to do anything to comunicate, but be able to open my eyes and hear. Amy began sobbing suddenly. She screamed why and pounded the bed side. My mom entered the room, her hand over her mouth. Her eyes shed tears and she collapsed into Amy's arms. I was confused, what was happening? A nurse rushed in and comforted the. I heard her say she was sorry, she mouthed the words colma, and no chance. I tried to shake myself out of it, I had the strength to over come this. I couldn't lose the fight now. I had to pull through for amy. Amy looked me in the eyes and whispered, "You have to pull through." Could hse have heard my thoughts? "Please Bentley. Don't leave me, not now." She cried. Her head fell into my chest and I felt her warm tears soak my gown.
One can only imagine not being able to comfort your loved ones, due to distance. The only differnece now was, I could see their pain, I could feel their tears, but couldn't say a word of comfort. They were crying because of me. Seeing them so hurt and not being able to hold them in my arms killed me.
A flash of light apeared and suddenly I was looking at myself in the hospital bed. Amy was still crying, my mother was being held by my father, Amy's parents stood back, choked up with sadness. There was a loud bleat from the left of me that sent Amy into complete hystaria. I looked and saw a flat line, was I dead? What was happening? How could I still be here, but not be HERE. Was this what hell was like? Dying and being forced to watch your loved ones cry for you. I walked towards Amy, and to my surprise I could feel her as I wrapped my arms around her. I felt her warmth, her chest heaving from crying, I could feel her heart beat. The room went quiet as Amy looked up at her parents. The morning sun beamed directly into the room, making my lifeless body look as if it were glowing. "He's still here. I can feel it." Amy whispered
Isn't it funny? How people say that while you're alive and you deny it. Saying that is crazy and imposible. But now being gone and actually still being there, it's a crazy thought.
I hugged Amy's body tigher and she seemed to react to it, "I love you Bentley." She whispered.
So this was the end, this is how I would spend the rest of my life? Be tortured, having to watch someone so dear to my heart suffer and not be able to comfort her? I couldn't wrap my head around things.
Months went by and there was no progress in Amy's depression. She laid in bed all day, crying, she barely ate. People came in to see her and she just sat there, trying to smile. I couldn't bare to sit here and watch her ruin her life, I needed to find a way to help her. I laid in bed with her a lot, holding her tightly in my arms, hoping that some how she would feel me, she was so in denial that she couldn't believe it.
One morning while she made her breakfast I ran down the hall and into the kitchen. She fell asleep next to the stove, her hair in the stove bruner. It began to sizzle, I pushed her away, and to my surprise she fell. She woke and screamed for a moment. She looked around thinking someone was in her house. She stood and continued cooking.
The next morning she drove to work, I rode in the passanger seat, being sure she was awake the whole time. She started to swerve off the road and I grabbed the wheel, vearing it back onto the road.
That same night Amy called her mom, discussing the expiernces she's been having, her mom's reply, "You know they're still there. Mike was."
Amy began purposley setting up dangerous situatuions, just to see i I would reply, I would. She started to talk to me while home alone. She told me what she had been doing that week, or how she wished I was still here so we could have little girls running around, or boys for my sake. I tried talking to her, but she could never hear me. Until one morning she revieved a letter in the mail from an unkown address. I couldn't believe it, everything I had said to her, was wrote down on a pice of paper. At first Amy was creeped out, but every morning she would get replys from me.
The more I stuck around, the more I relaized I was born, raised, and died to be Amy's gaurdien angel. I was there to protect her through anything. I dried her tears at night as she wept for me, I held her hand as she walked into situations that made her nervous, I held her tightly at night as she slept. I bega to see the difference in her attitude as the years marched on. I made a difference in her life while alive, and I still did so after departing from the world.