"Truth is, I think about you often,
I miss your voice, I miss your smile
That I used to get lost in
I know you know
I have this thing for you,
I never lost it"
-Fake Smiles, Phora
××××
c h a p t e r t h r e e
broken hopes
"I love you" Grayson said, leaning in and placing his lips on top of mine. I stare at him blankly, bewildered, confused by his sudden action. He does nothing but stare back at me. His eyes expressing guilt and many other emotions I could not decode.
Then his face softens and shakes his head, "I'm sorry" He whispered, leaning once more to kiss the top part of my head, before leaving me empty all over again.
I woke with a start, sitting up way too quickly from my bed, an instant feeling of dizziness rushes through my veins as I look around the room. Realizing it was all just a simple dream, I fall back down on my bed with a sigh and stare at the ceiling for quite a while before finally getting up and head towards the bathroom to take a long bath.
I felt the urge to smoke, in hopes of cooling my mind. I dropped a bath bomb as I watched it dissolve its colors on the water, while I let the smoke escape my lips and lay back, spreading my arms throughout the tub.
I sink a little further, allowing my feet to touch the end of the tub and my head to rest on top of the corner of the tub. The warm water hugged my body, covering my naked self as I stared into space.
Just when my mind began wandering around, my phone rings.
"Hello?"
"Hey get up looser, we're going shopping" I recognize Joanne's voice on the other line and let out a small chuckle.
"It's too early to go shopping" I groaned, holding my cigarette with my fingers.
"It's not, you're just a lazy ass" She laughs, making me roll my eyes but smile afterwards.
"How about I just go to your place?" I suggest and move my foot around, wrinkling the water.
"My whole family's there,"
I groaned as she giggled.
"Just get your fat ass out of bed and get ready. I'll be there in 10"
I groaned even louder.
"Just do it" She dragged the words. "Fine,"
"See ya" She sang before hanging up.
I took a deep breath and got out of the tub, wrapping a white towel around my body as I headed back to my room to choose something to wear after killing the cigarette.
Before I could grab my clothes and don them on, I witnessed the door swing wide open and saw Grayson. His jaw dropped.
"What the heck dude?" I asked with gritted teeth, holding on to my towel for dear life.
His eyes scanned me up and down and walked directly towards me.
"I believe this belongs to you?" He archs an eyebrow, ignoring the fact that a simple, short towel was covering my naked self and hands me a familiar necklace.
"Must have left it in the kitchen counter the other night," I nodded, and lowered my gaze in embarrassment. "Thanks" I mumbled and took the necklace from his hand.
"Don't act so shy around me. It's not like I haven't seen you naked before" He said before leaving the room.
I felt my cheeks flush red and I get dressed quickly, ignoring what had just happened. I jogged down the stairs, to the kitchen to grab something to eat while I waited for Joanne to arrive. Grayson was there in the kitchen with me, staring at the opened fridge before him. I felt a strong feeling of discomfiture in the air. A tension between us two floating in the silence that surrounded him and I.
"Morning," I heard. I turn my head to see Ethan, rubbing his eye while he walked slowly towards the fridge.
"Morning" I mumbled, taking a bite off my green apple and leaning forward, placing my forearms on top of the table to watch how their acts resembled each other's.
Twins. I thought to myself.
They both start cooking some pancakes for themselves and I hear the door bell ring. Joanne was finally here.
"I'll get it" I muttered and hopped off my seat, jogging towards the door to open it.
"Hey girl," Joanne smiled. I smiled back and stepped aside, letting her in.
"Let's go to my room, I gotta tell you something." I grab her wrist and drag her upstairs with me.
Once we arrived, I close the door behind me. Joanne threw her self on my bed and held her head with the palm of her hand, putting weight on her elbow.
"I legit don't know what to do with Grayson anymore"
"Oh lord, here we go" she rolled her eyes and chuckled.
I sighed. "It's just, I don't know" I trailed off, crossing my arms and walking around my room in circles.
"You still love him, don't you?" She blurted out.
My walking stopped and my heart skipped a beat. The words echo in the back of my mind as I raise my eyebrows at her. "No." I bit my lip."No way." I repeated, trying to convince myself that her words were all just a simple lie. I shook my head and looked away from her, avoiding eye contact.
"May, I see the way you look at him. You talk about him almost all the time when you're with me."
I groaned, tilting my head back in realization. "Do I really?"
"Hmhm" She nods her head doubtlessly, as if she was a hundred and one percent sure about her whole concept of me still loving Grayson.
I thought about it for a few minutes. I hated him for what he did, that was for sure, but if I hated him that much, he shouldn't have been in my mind all this time. My eyes nor my mouth shouldn't have been on and about him.
"Fuck" I covered my face with the palms of my hands and laid on my back, placing my head on her stomach. "What do I do now?" I sighed.
"Talk to him, girl" Joanne said, "You guys can't stay mad at each other forever and I'm sure as hell you can start all the way back from zero, as friends, ya know"
I bit my lower lip, taking into consideration her suggestion. Perhaps she was right. Afterall, I missed Grayson like crazy, even if he had been right next to me this whole time.
I nodded my head and sat up. "Yeah, I-I should"
Joanne smiled. "Then go on! I'll be right behind you"
"But what do I tell him?"
"Everything. Tell him you want your friendship back. Tell him how you feel."
I let out a deep sigh. "Easy to say, hard to do, but sure, fuck it, let's go" I got up, running a hand through my hair, preparing myself mentally to face Grayson. I did not have a good feeling about this, when all these what if's questions began shooting the walls of my mind.
"Yeah that's more like it girl!" She hopped off the bed and followed me downstairs.
"Let's-" My sentence got cut off by another door bell ring.
"Who would that be?" I asked myself, looking at the clock, showing it was just 3 in the afternoon, way too early for the twin's parents to arrive, since they worked till 7pm.
I jogged towards the door, opening it to reveal a girl, a little taller than me, wearing layers upon layers of makeup on her face. She was wearing a backwards snapback on her head. A pink snapback to be specific. It was Gray's.
"Hi, is Grayson here?" She asked politely, flashing an innocent smile towards me. I stare at her for a while, before finally snapping back to the real world.
"Um, yeah, he's in the kitchen" I pointed my thumb towards the kitchen and stepped aside to let her in.
"Thanks" She said and walked towards the kitchen. Her sweet scent following behind.
I looked over to Joanne, who was sitting on the sofa with the same facial expression as me.
"Who is that?" I mouthed, only to receive a simple shrug from Joanne.
"Hey baby!" I heard her say. "Sup babygirl" Grayson said. His voive echoing throughout the house. I watched her walk closer to him, wrap her arms around his neck and kiss him. He kissed back without hesitation and placed a hand on her hip, smiling through the kiss.
My jaw clenched as I felt my eyes filling up with tears. I bit my lip, trying hard to stop my tears from falling down my cheeks.
"May" Joanne's face softened and wrapped her arms around me, pulling me into a hug.
"Let's just- Let's just get out of here" I stuttered. My voice cracked as I spoke.
"Sure, baby" She whispered and wrapped an arm around my shoulders, rubbing my back as we left the house.
I knew then, at that instance, that love, had given up on me. And that I, had given up on love too.
××××
you know what to do ;)
This was such a long ass chapter wow
Hope you guys liked it
Thanks for reading!
♡♥♡