"Jay... Are you sure this is the place?" Tyler asked, gazing out at the scenery of the neighborhood through the window. I could hardly believe what I was seeing either but I'm pretty sure we followed the GPS correctly.
I checked the address again to make sure, "Yup. Just turn here, I guess."
After making the turn, he slowed his car to a stop then stared at the place for a moment before turning to me with a sigh, "It's kind of late, you sure you want to do this now?"
I nodded, causing him to shake his head.
"For someone who'd just got out of the hospital, you're moving around a lot." he parked the car in the mansion's wide driveway.
"This is kind of important..." I drifted off my sentence, gawking at the astonishing sight of Simon's home. It looked as if it were 10 stories high and made out of the world's most luxurious stone. It made me feel small as I gazed at the large, colorful trees and plants in the front yard's garden then moved my eyes to the very top floor of the house.
Damn Simon!
An excited feeling sparked in my gut and jumped around almost uncontrollably. It wasn't my house but I couldn't wait to step inside and pretend like it was. This place would be epic for house parties, which would be the first thing I'd do if I owned a place like this.
"Wow..." Tyler awed, moving a white curl from his eye, "Man... I knew this guy had money but... Geez!"
I opened the door and stepped out with a small chuckle, still amazed by this place. I knew Simon was lying that one time he told me he couldn't afford to give me a raise. "I'll call you later to pick me up, alright?"
Tyler nodded, "No problem, but if I were you, I'd 'accidentally' fall asleep here." he winked. "See ya."
I smirked while shutting the door. He had a point... Simon wouldn't blame me for that, would he?
I headed for the entrance, listening to the sound of Tyler's car driving off to the road and leaving the rich man's hood. As I hit the doorbell, I couldn't help but smile, thinking about Nicole's face when she sees me. I couldn't wait to see her. Something inside me needed to see her.
The smooth, wooden door opened and the person behind it was definitely not Nicole. A huge, bald-headed guard sized me with his eyes for a moment before asking, "What's your name, son?" It sounded more like a demand than a question.
I removed my hat, feeling the need to show him some respect. Why? Because he easily intimidated me. "Uh, Jaden... I'm here to talk to Simon's daughter." I told him.
"I.D."
I winced, "Okay... Here." I took my wallet out and handed my I.D card over to him.
He snatched it out of my hand, read it over then gave it back to me, "Arms out, spread legs."
The fuck? I just want to see Nicole, not the president.
I did as he said and waited until he got through patting me down, gesturing me inside after I was cleared.
I scratched my head before placing my cap back on my head as I walked inside. The dude sort of scared me. He's tall and ripped with bulky muscles and his face barely had any emotion on it but it still gave me vibes that made me feel unwanted here. Hopefully, I stay on his good side or he'll probably tear me apart like a piece of newspaper.
I stopped and gasped softly at the interior of the home. The freshly polished marble underneath my feet shined spotlessly, almost making me go back and remove my shoes but instead, I stood there, awestruck. Every square foot of this place amazed me, overwhelmed me. Even the air I breathed smelled expensive.
"This way." the guard said, already walking towards the back door.
"Coming..." I whispered as I made my way over to him, eyeing the humongous, plasma flat screen T.V sitting up on the living room wall.
I followed him out to Simon's backyard where a large pool glowed orange, then faded to pink, then purple, and kept transitioning to other relaxing colors. There were palm trees, growing coconuts on the pool sides and a hot tub section?! Simon is living life!
The guard snapped and pointed. I followed his finger to the sight of Nicole...
Looking fine as shit!
"Damn..." I whispered, biting my lip subconsciously. I probably looked like some kind of creep but it's a habit, especially when someone is looking as good as that.
My hand moved up to rub the back of my heating neck as my eyes traveled down her alluring figure while she sat at the poolside near the short end of the pool, toying with a palm tree leaf as she spoke with, what looks like, her maid.
That royal blue two-piece bathing suit not only revealed that extremely breathtaking piece of art on her back but it also revealed more than enough for me to take into realization that her body has always been more feminine than I had imagined. This woman could lift weights and train to the same capacity as the guys, and I've always been attracted to that, but here I am, seeing these curves that are as smooth as butter, gentle glowing skin from her toes to her head, complimenting that innocent, child-like smile as she laughed with her maid...
My heart thumped.
She's over there looking like a damn snack.
Screw a snack... A full course meal!
Just when I thought there was nothing more to love about her.
I opened my mouth to call her name but the guard spoke first.
"Ms. Greene, you have a guest," he told her.
She stopped her conversation, her smile instantly disappearing into a brief, annoyed sneer as she told him, "I'm not seeing any more guests today." before dipping herself into the pool, her eyes making contact with mine as soon as she noticed me.
"Even if it's me?" I chuckled as I made my way over to her with a "what's up" grin, causing her to respond with a slightly confused smirk.
"Jaden? How the hell did you find this place?" she chuckled with this amused yet suspicious look on her face. From the sound of her voice though, she seemed a bit fatigued. I'd hate to admit it but Tyler was probably right about my timing being a little late but I knew I couldn't bear to wait this out for tomorrow, I needed to talk to her now.
"Simon gave me his address... So I can come to see you." I told her as I sat down on a dry spot of the poolside.
"You're supposed to be resting," she said as she walked towards me through the water rippling around her.
I smirked at her, satisfied with her appearance up close. "I know, but I still have a lot of questions. I can't rest when all of it is still bothering me."
She nodded, "Sure. I'll answer them, but you have to get in the pool... And have a drink." she pointed at one of her empty beer bottles tossed near the tree.
I chuckled, shaking my head, "I can't get in the pool. Fresh stitches... But how about this?" I rolled up my pants sleeves, removing my socks and sandals before sticking my feet in the water, only letting the water go up to my knees. It was warmer than I expected it to be. Soothing.
"Drink?" the maid asked as she was walking by with already emptied beer bottles on a tray.
I nodded, "Sure, anything light will be fine, thank you."
She only smiled then went ahead into the house.
"You're spoiled, aren't you?" I asked Nicole with a soft snicker.
She shrugged, "I don't ask for any of this. Simon is truly... Something else."
"I guess you're just that important to him... I was thinking about touring this place but your guards don't seem to want me here. You know I got patted down by one of them before I came in?"
She laughed, "It's not like they don't like you, they just don't trust new visitors, especially Jerry. He's really protective of me and I only met him today."
"I'd be protective too. You're Simon's daughter, that's kind of a big deal."
She raised her eyebrows a bit before turning her eyes to her hand as her finger made gentle swirls in the water, "I wouldn't say it's a big deal. But it is nice to have people care about me this much."
I smiled at her. I know that I care about her. More than I actually should. Hopefully, she sees that and, hopefully, I've been making that clear enough to her.
The maid brought me a drink in a fancy glass cup. I thanked her and she smiled before heading back to the house. I could get used to that. I took a sip then smirked at Nicole when I noticed that she was watching me, "Did you want some?"
She shook her head, refusing with a raise of a hand, "I've had enough alcohol for tonight."
"Really? How much did you have?"
"Just... Enough," she said, tiredly.
I narrowed my eyes, "How much is enough..."
She chuckled, "3 drinks... I'm not drunk though."
I nodded, taking another sip, "Good... So I can ask you something and you won't fall asleep or pass out?"
"That depends. Is it important or is it about work?"
"Both?"
She groaned, pinching the bridge of her nose stressfully, "Can't it wait 'till tomorrow, I don't want to hear anything about work at this point."
"It'll be quick, trust me. I'm just a little lost."
She sighed and sat on one of the pool steps, "Ask quickly."
"Okay, so look..."
She crossed her arms and listened.
"I was talking with Simon, right? And he told me that, back at the hospital, you were scared for me... You know, Afraid to lose me. I found that kind of hard to believe since you always threaten my life."
She rolled her eyes, "And how is this work-related?"
"It isn't." I chuckled. "But listen."
"Don't waste my time, Jaden..." she began to walk away.
I grabbed her hand, laughing, "I won't. I just said that so you would be interested. Just tell me."
"Tell you what?"
"What's on your mind. How you feel about me." I searched her eyes for answers.
"What are you asking, if I care about you?"
I nodded. Just say yes or no.
"Of course I do. You're my partner. I kind of have to."
Have to?
I rubbed my forehead, slightly frustrated, "Other than work buddies, Nicki... You send these mixed signals, making me think we actually have something special happening between us, then the next minute it's like you want to get rid of me. It's really confusing and really annoying."
"Really..." She raised an eyebrow, "I send mixed signals..."
"You really do," I replied, keeping my eyes deeply in hers. "One day you're slapping me across the face and another, you're kissing me like I'm the man of your dreams... One day I hear you cursing at me, and another I hear that same voice whispering to me every day while I was trapped in a coma, telling me how much you need me by your side, that I needed to open my eyes and see you instead of succumbing to my injuries. I can't keep up with this, these alternating feelings you constantly show me."
Those words made her eyes soften in mine as she asked, "You... You've actually heard all of that... The whole time?"
"I did, and I listened." I told her before a smile grew on my lips, "Every single breath."
Her eyes turned away from me as her face began to redden. I watched as she took a silent moment to think to herself before she finally told me in a soft tone, "I don't mean to come off as complicated to you, and I apologize that I did but I've just been... A little stressed is all. Don't take it personally."
"Stressed?" I let out a short breath of laughter, "That's what I'm here for. I'll help you relieve all of that stress bottled up inside of you. I'll let you rant to me, I'll comfort you, I'll take care of you, I'll..." I sighed, stopping myself from continuing so I don't get carried away and drive her off. "I'll do whatever it takes..."
She snickered, shaking her head, "You're ridiculous..."
I laughed softly to hide my frustration, "Nicole, I'm serious... I don't know if you hadn't already noticed but I think you're fucking sexy."
She rolled her eyes as I admired her body with my eyes, "I've noticed..." she said.
"Yeah. Thing is, I don't want anyone else to look at you the way I do... I don't even want them studying you the way I do. The way you walk like you own the place, the way you make decisions based on your first instinct, your confidence... Just, damn..." I chuckled as I looked at our hands, playing with her pinky finger. Everything about her amazed me. She's the reason why I've changed my whole perspective on women. Why I now see that women who don't need any protecting exists in real life and not just in comic books.
I knew that I cared about her a lot. I knew that for a fact because she was always in my head like a catchy rhythm and I couldn't escape it. Whether I was at work, whether I was with other women, even while I was half dead, she was there... She was the headache I loved and hated all at once.
I then simply asked her, "What if I told you that I like you? Much more than just a partner."
When I raised my eyes to meet hers, I noticed that she was still staring at me but her expression was hard to read. It was kind of a mixture of confusion and doubt, and a bit of annoyance which made me feel like this was a bad idea to bring up but I wasn't going to turn back now. I wanted to know how she felt, I wanted to know how she saw us as of now. "Jaden... I... N-now's not the time for this discussion..." she looked away from me.
What?
"No... It's the perfect time to talk about this." I sighed, scratching the top of my head. "Look. It's okay if you don't feel the same way, I just had to get it off of my chest."
"Jaden..." her voice was low and she avoided eye contact, "You know this can't happen between us. Even if I wanted to, which... I don't... Everything has to stay professional between everyone at headquarters." her eyes raised up to mine, "You have to think of me as just your partner. Nothing more. You're just going to lose focus from what's really important and nothing would get done if you're being too concerned about trying to start relationships with anyone affiliated with the agency."
I shook my head, "I won't let what we have distract me from work, it would be more of a motivation for me... And I don't want to start relationships with just anyone, I want to start one with you. I don't care about anyone else like I care about you."
"Jaden..."
"I've been working hard every day just to impress you, Nicki, I've never tried this hard in my life to win a girl over, but there's a reason why I'm trying for you. The more I learn about you, the more I want to be with you. I want to be the one you let in through the cages to your heart, the one who makes you smile, the one you trust-"
She yanked her hand away from me blurting out, "I'm not capable of caring for you, Jaden!" She sighed, "For anyone..."
My mouth slightly parted open as I gazed at her. Hearing that unexpectedly pierced me in the chest like a knife and made my jaw clench as I felt those words sink to my stomach. She was making it clear, she believed that what I had hoped for was not going to work out. She continued, "I've hurt people before I could put my complete trust in them, even Simon. Never was it on purpose but it's something that I can't change or control... Getting closer to me is like walking straight into the flames of a burning building-"
"Then burn me." I interrupted, staring deep into her eyes. "Engulf me in all your raging flames and let's see if I survive."
She gazed at me for a moment, her head slightly shaking, eyes warning me, "You wouldn't want that... You'd only regret it."
"I'd only enjoy it." I corrected. "I'd crawl through those flames, burning and melting down to the bone if it meant finding that one place of security. That one place that's free of flames."
"Why...?" She raked her wet hair back, "Why the hell do you want this so badly?!"
"That's the thing, I don't actually know!" I told her in frustration. "There's something about you that makes me feel entirely different. I feel connected in a way. Making you smile makes me feel so damn good and seeing you disappointed in me makes me angry as hell with myself. I feel like I need you to trust in me. I feel like I need to impress you and I don't know why. I don't know what this feeling is or why I only feel it with you but in order for me to know, we'll have to give us a chance to explore it... You'll have to let me in."
"What if I don't."
I smiled, taking her hand, "I'd find a way." I moved my eyes down to her fingers as my thumb gently rubbed them. "But I won't force myself in..."
I released her hand and stood up now, pausing to gaze at her as she held my gaze in her eyes, her body just standing a few inches away from me. The longer I looked at her, the more I was tempted to pull her in and hold her... Kiss her...
I raised a hand to gently touch her cheek, my eyes moved down to her lips as hers turned to watch the movement of my hand.
I'd find a way, but I won't force myself in...
"I just won't." I whispered to her as I drew my hands into my jacket pockets, my chest filling with frustrating temptation and want but I gave her a smile instead, "Mind if I grab a glass of water?"
"Go ahead." She said, almost inaudibly, as her eyes remained glued into mine, a look of unanswered questions beginning to surface the center of her eyes but she avoided saying anything else.
I gave her a friendly nod before I climbed out of the water, slipped my sandals back on and headed towards the house. My little smile releasing into a deep, stressful breath that filled my cheeks as soon as I turned my back to her.
As I headed into her home, I walked passed her bodyguard, stopping shortly to look at him over my shoulder. Has he been watching us the whole time? Listening?
I shook my head to myself before continuing towards the kitchen. It didn't matter to me whether he heard everything or not a word. What bothered me more than anything right now was that conversation I had with Nicki moments ago. How it made me realize how obsessed I actually am with her.
I grabbed a bottle of water out of the fridge and pressed it against my neck to cool off as I walked to the living room couch where I sat heavily on its cushions, resting my head back to stare at the ceiling.
When I planned the conversation in my head before arriving here, I imagined it to go smoothly even if I did end up getting rejected. Never was I supposed to feel so affected by the outcome, never was I supposed to develop stronger feelings after speaking with her.
I twisted the cap off my drink and brought the bottle up to my lips to chug some of the water down before leaning forward with my elbows resting on my knees, closing my eyes now.
Talking to her brought something different out in me. The more I felt that she was drifting apart from me, the more I wanted to reel her back in. I didn't want to accept no for an answer, I wanted her to want me the same way I wanted her. To allow me to fix what's been broken by her past while showing her a type of affection that she's never experienced with anyone else before. A type of affection that not even Simon could provide.
What made it even worse was the fact that she made it clear that we wouldn't ever be able to be together because the agency wouldn't allow assigned partners to do so. Not to mention that she's also Simon's only daughter which makes her that much more off-limits.
But who's to say we can't keep us a secret... Thinking of her as just a partner only seemed impossible to me. I see her all the time, every hour, every minute, and it bothers me that we're not together. I knew she was holding something back from me. I knew that, between the two of us, I wasn't the only one feeling this way. She had never given a damn about anyone until I started working here. If that wasn't a reason for us to take the next step and at least try, I don't know what is...
A sudden, gentle hand from behind planted on my shoulder and glided down to my chest, causing me to open my eyes and watch as it slowly made its way back up.
I immediately knew who it belonged to.
I turned my head to try and find Nicole who suddenly captured my lips in hers before my eyes could actually see her. My hand moved up to grab her wrist as she kissed me, almost pulling away from her until I felt her drawing in closer to me, her beer-flavored tongue moving across mine as her hand held my face close. My heart skipped around beats and my mind became blank with nothing but a question mark at the center.
She gently pulled away with a satisfied smirk appearing on her sweet lips, saying these fairly familiar words, "You've just entered the flames, let's see if you survive."
I stared at her like a lost dog, watching as she stood up straight and tightened her robe before walking away from me.
She then looked back at me over her shoulder, adding, "It's still not too late for that tour if you're still interested."
My head slowly tilted to its side as I watched her make her way up the spiraling stairs without giving me another look.
She's doing it again... Confusing me.
Or, maybe, she's finally made up her mind. Maybe, she's been convinced and wants to pursue taking a chance with me...
I won't be able to find out from down here.
Soon, I stood up and began to follow her. I only glanced around at my surroundings for a second before my eyes found Nicole who was already way ahead of me.
I picked up my pace a bit, jogging up the steps to try and catch up with her.
Slow down, woman.
I didn't want to lose her in a place like this. With the size of this house, that'd be really easy to do.
She stopped on one of the floors, causing me to pause as well as she turned to look at me over her shoulder. I gazed at her for a moment, waiting for her to say something... Do something.
She only smiled at me. My eyebrows briefly flinched upward before my lips slightly quirked up into a smirk. That quickly changed when she turned away and continued around the corner there.
I rushed up the remaining steps after her with a quick sigh, "Here she goes again." I uttered to myself.
When I got to the floor she disappeared into, she was nowhere in sight.
I stood there, scanning the hall for a moment. My eyes moved from the long maroon carpet stretched across the ground to the landscape paintings hung up on the walls, then, to the four closed doors. Two brown ones, two burgundy ones, each of them leading into different, large-sized rooms.
I approached one of the doors and gently tried the knob, only to find out that this door was locked.
I pursed my lips then turned my eyes to the remaining doors, taking notice in the one that was slightly cracked open. I smirked at it before making my way over to it.
Curiously, I peeped through the crack before gently pushing the door open.
A soft gasp slipped through my lips at the sight of the room. It was huge and displayed a stunning view of the field behind her house that was visible through the blinds of the large window. The spaces between those blinds let in a shower of moonlight that hit directly on the bedsheets, making them the only thing illuminated in the room. I gazed around for a moment, taking cautious steps inside, not finding Nicole anywhere.
Not until I felt her hand gently grab the water bottle out of mine.
"You've made it." She smiled as she set it aside and I could only watch her silently as she continued by saying, "You know... I've never noticed before but you have a real way with words." She turned her eyes back to me, "Enough for me to actually put some thought into what you've told me."
I kept my eyes on her as she swooped her wavy, semi-dry hair behind her, asking her softly, "Is that so?"
She shrugged before walking back over to me, that movement almost made me hold my breath as I watched her inch closer to me. "I believe so." She moved her hands to my arms, slowly sliding them to meet at my fingers, "But words aren't convincing enough." She raised my hands to place them on her hips and I pulled her in closer on instinct, making her smile up at me. Her hands released mine and moved up my chest then snaked their way around my neck, "I want action." She whispered, "Show me why I should let us happen."
She wants me to show it? I've been showing it in every way possible... I've had her back since the day I met her when she was getting jumped in the bar's parking lot. I had been next to her during every mission we were ever assigned to. I've held her when she needed arms to cry into. I was there for her whether she wanted me to be or not and I'll continue to do that no matter what. She knows that...
That look in her eyes... She does know that but that isn't what she had been referring to at this moment.
I softened my eyes on her plump, rosy lips, my fingertips gently stroking against her hips. Show me why I should let us happen... I could already feel my heart thumping with excitement and Nicole was standing close enough that it felt as though she could hear it too. I almost didn't know what to say and I wanted whatever to come out of my mouth to be something meaningful but, somehow, I managed to joke instead, "So, I guess this is where the tour ends."
She shook her head with a small chuckle, "We're just getting started..." she pulled my face down to hers, kissing me gently which sent instant tingles throughout my body.
I pulled her body closer to me, kissing her deeper. The taste of her lips gave me a sudden craving for alcohol but since I wasn't planning on ending this tour so soon, Nicki would have to be the one who intoxicates me.
She pulled us towards the bed and gently pushed me down to sit as she climbed on top of me. I bit my lip and gently placed my hands on her hips as she settled herself in my lap. I was ready for whatever she had in mind. I was ready to show her why she should let me in. Show her that I could handle her flames.
Her body moved in my lap as she sucked on my lips and made me crave her like crazy. I kissed her back, slipping my tongue in her mouth, fighting with hers until they began to stroke at the same pace. My heart began to pick up its pace as our kiss intensified. As arousal began to rise in my blood.
Simultaneously, our hands moved to reach for each other's clothing. My hands on her robe strings and hers on the zipper of my jacket... Our lips slowly parted inches away and my eyes moved up to meet hers. There was something playful in her expression and that made me smile. It was at that moment, I knew, I am one hell of a lucky guy...
I hooked my arm around her waist, making a laugh slip out of her as I swiftly positioned her to lay on the bedsheets and climbed on top of her, dipping down to consume her in my kisses. My hands, already tugging at her robe strings while her palms held my face close to hers.
I smiled on her lips when I felt her robe loosen up, allowing her lightly dampened skin to expose to me. I feasted my eyes on her, undoing my own jacket and sliding it off as I did. The bathing suit she wore was still wet from the pool and her skin glistened in the moonlight from the small droplets left on her shoulders and chest. The sight of her sweet skin itself was enough to make my throat go dry. She's fucking perfect... I ran my hand down her body as I moved in closer to her, feeling her warm breath graze my skin as I pulled her legs up to lock me in against her before I thirstily took her lips back in mine while making slow movements on her to give her a taste of what's in my pants, making her release a hearty moan that made my heart pound. I was becoming mindless now, I became so avid for her to give in to me. I wanted all of her right now. Every single inch.
I moved from her lips to her neck, flicking my tongue there before giving her soft yet tender kisses as my hand began to pull her bikini strap down. The way she moved her body against me, the way she held me close, I couldn't find a way to control myself, shit, I was ready to tear the damn thing off of her body and dive right into her.
It seemed to me that she was asking for me to do exactly that, shifting herself to allow her naughty hands to reach down and curiously feel what's been poking her. I groaned softly at her sudden touch, my body wanting her to continue but my mind demanding that I be the one whose completely in charge. As her hand tried to sneak its way into my pants, I tightly gripped her wrists, making her gasp as I forced them to the headboard and pinned them there with one hand.
I looked at her, softly panting as I moved a hand up to her chin. My thumb gently gliding across her slightly swollen, red lips before I asked, "You really want this as much as I do, don't you?"
She silently nodded, her eyes lingering on my lips with desire for more. With the desire for me to please her. I smirked in satisfaction before I gently brought her hands to touch me by placing them on my chest. She bit her lip as she snaked her arms around my neck and pulled me closer, letting me kiss on her skin once more. As I did, I began to move my hand to the side of her bikini bottom, twirling my finger around the string that held it together before I slowly pulled on it, undoing the bow-tie knot.
As soon as I did that, a little voice at the back of my head told me something that concerned me...
Maybe I shouldn't do this when she's been drinking so much.
That thought made the kisses I planted on her collar become hesitant but I was just as reluctant to pull away. What if stopping now meant losing her just as fast? This is what she wanted, what she asked for. The last thing I wanted to do was disappoint her.
She demandingly brought my lips to hers, instantly making my mind blur everything away leaving only one thing on mind. I couldn't shake my cravings for her away. I couldn't pull my body away from her and extinguish that burning temptation from rising in my veins. I began to question how much alcohol she's actually had. Deny the effects they had on her. She's had more in the past, 3 bottles of beer wouldn't do a damn thing to her.
Who are you to determine what her limits are?! The voice at the back of my head yelled at me this time, draining out all other thoughts.
And it was right.
If I really wanted this woman, I had to show her that I was responsible, that I respect her. She wasn't like anyone else and I had to treat her that way and I especially didn't want to be the repeat of what Levi used to be.
My eyes widened at the thought of that bastard...
"Don't be such a prick, she won't remember shit in the morning." Levi's voice played in my mind as a sudden, vivid memory of him coming out of his bedroom, adjusting his pants came back to haunt me. I remember catching a glimpse of an undressed, intoxicated, no, wasted woman knocked out on his bed before he shut the door behind him and that memory flooded my brain with a headache.
I'd rather suffer from blue balls than to go through with this and risk hurting her. I slowed my kisses to a stop then, gently moved back to hover over her and look her in the eyes. They were filled with lust, filled with want but I couldn't find it in myself to keep going. She'd have to understand that. "We... We can't do this now." I told her with a small smile even though my cravings for her were still running strong in my chest.
She frowned at me for a moment. As if not believing my sudden words, my change in behavior. "Why not?"
"You're drunk." I chuckled.
"No, I'm not... Jaden, please, I want this."
I laughed softly, gently pinching her chin and gazing at the lips I still longed for on her. I wanted so badly to take them back into mine and feel her hands on my body but I knew my boundaries. "Yeah, you're drunk. You never beg for what you want." I sighed, rolling off of her and sitting up at the edge of her bed now, "Nicki... I didn't come to your house to rush into getting in bed with you. You know that..." I rubbed the back of my neck, that memory of Levi constantly replaying in my mind, making me feel nauseous. A familiar feeling from when I first witnessed what happened, the guilt I had from turning a blind eye and letting it occur. I knew that what I almost did with Nicki wasn't going to be nearly as bad as that situation but, if I were to ever sleep with her, I would want her to be completely aware of it so she wasn't the least bit of confused when she wakes up the next morning. "It's okay to wait... I don't mind." I told her.
She raised her eyebrows at me before her face suddenly reddened as she sat up as well, not saying a word as she began to fix her clothing, clear embarrassment in her expression. I turned my eyes away from her, realizing that she was beginning to feel uncomfortable but I could still see her staring at me from my peripheral. She was speechless.
"A-are you scared?" She finally asked in a soft, hesitant tone.
I shook my head, "No, I-"
"Look at me." She demanded and I did, turning to her with a sigh before she added, "Do I intimidate you?"
I gazed into her eyes. Hers showing genuine concern. I smiled at her as I told her, "You don't intimidate me, Nicki... I just don't want us regretting anything later."
She widened her eyes a bit before she suddenly snickered, "Wait... You seriously believe that 3 light beers would actually intoxicate me... Is that it?"
I only shrugged. Who am I to make the call of what her limits are. I knew I had to keep things safe.
She climbed off of the bed with a small huff of laughter, "You know I hate being underestimated." She made her way over to me, gently cupping my face in her hands to have me look at her as she also said, "But thank you for being willing to put respect over desire."
I took her hands, smirked at her. There's no doubt that she was still alert of what was happening around her but it was obvious that the alcohol was really taking into effect. I could see it in the way she spoke in slightly slurred speech and the way her eyes weakly looked at me. "Believe me, it's for the best." I stood up and gave her a kiss on her forehead. "I'll see you tomorrow," I told her with a small smile before making my way to her door.
"Jaden..." She suddenly grabbed my arm, preventing me from leaving. When I looked at her, she kept her eyes in mine as her hand moved down to grab my wrist.
"Don't go just yet..." She said, showing signs of hidden anxiousness in her eyes but her voice remained calm. "You came all this way and it's getting late. Might as well stay the night."
I tucked my tongue under my cheek as I looked down at her. From her gentle brown eyes down to her enticing body. My arousal level was still a bit high and I still craved her like hell which made me tell her, "I don't think that's a good idea..."
"I insist." She said shortly after. "You said it yourself, you wanted to get closer to me. Here I am, allowing you to do that by giving you a nice place to sleep." She kept her eyes locked in mine, waiting for me to say something but, I couldn't. I wasn't sure what to say. If I should trust that I won't get carried away again or just play it safe and go back to my apartment. More importantly, if I should trust that Nicki wouldn't get carried away. It's obvious now that she'd be down to do anything as long as she has alcohol in her system, dangerous or not. When I didn't respond, she let go of my hand and rolled her eyes, turning to begin walking back to her bed, "Of course... If you rather leave then-"
I gently took her hand back in mine and pulled her close to me, "Who said I'd rather leave?" I asked, sliding my hand down her back until I reached her thighs, suddenly picking her up which made her laugh as she held on to me while I walked us to her bed.
As I put her down on the messy sheets, she cupped my face in her hands, pulling me down to kiss her, "I knew you couldn't say no..."
Before our lips could meet, I moved my face to playfully peck her cheek instead, "I knew you found me irresistible." I chuckled before I lied down next to her and told her, "But I'm super tired right now." I lied for good reason. "Let's just take it easy for the rest of the night. Goodnight, Nicki" I said as I got comfy.
She watched me for a moment, eyeing me almost as if she wanted to slap me at first before she then gave me a small smirk and decided to curl in close to me instead, whispering, "Goodnight, Jay." as I put my arm around her.
I watched her as she laid her head on one side of my chest and her hand gently rested over a bandage on the opposite side. Her fingers then curled in to gently glide across the patch, back and forth as she listened to the sounds of my heartbeat.
I let out a soft sigh. This girl has always been a troublemaker but seeing how she behaves when enough alcohol is in her system is a whole other definition of that.
I slightly pursed my lips as my finger began to trace the branches of the tree tattooed on her back.
If she isn't careful, she could find herself sitting in some neck-deep shit before she could even realize it. In the meantime, the least I could do is stay here for the night to make sure she isn't confused about anything the next morning.
Her eyebrows furrowed a bit and when my finger reached her spine, she slightly flinched in my arms and moved her hand to grab mine so that I held her tighter while she laced our fingers together. I smiled at that, closing my eyes now.
All I want is for you to feel safe with me.