Rowan POV
He wasn't sure which was more worrying, or he corrected himself should have been more concerning; his relief that Izzy would finally know his whole past, or that his mum was the one to tell her. It wasn't that he didn't want to be the one to explain to her about Rebecca, but that involved speaking of Willow, and he just couldn't. As much as it was his story to tell, it was also his mum's. And then, there was trying to tell Izzy, his second chance, about his first mate, and it just felt like betrayal – to both of them. He knew it was cowardly of him, that it was the easy choice to let his mother do the task, but as much as he hated himself for it, he just wasn't ready to watch as the way she looked at him changed. He couldn't face the look of disappointment and judgement cloud the way she saw him, as warranted as it would be - he still wanted to hide from it a little longer. From anyone else he could stomach the pity and questions, the failure. But, from Izzy? He couldn't do it.
"She isn't Rebecca." His dad's voice broke through his thoughts, pulling him from musing about the women in the next room. Looking down at his dad he quirked an eyebrow in question. "Don't get me wrong, we all loved her. Rebecca was right for you, made for you – at the time. And if she had lived you two would have been happy together, perfect for each other. But you aren't the boy she met, and you no longer need the girl she was." Nodding his head towards Izzy and his mum he continued. "That girl is your future. And as much as you might want to - don't ever confuse her for Rebecca. Because even from the little I've seen, I can tell you they are two very different people."
"I don't know why she hasn't bolted yet." Rowan admitted his voice low. The fear that had been gnawing at him for days slipping out. His head snapped up to look at Hayden and Derek, eyes narrowing as the two jumped at his words, Hayden fidgeted on the couch while Derek pointedly refused to meet his gaze. Rowan scowled as he pieced it together. Apparently, he'd been missing something. Something they knew, and had chosen not to reveal or clue him in to. He had to give it to her; she barely tolerated them, and yet she had some of the most powerful wolves in their world not only on her side, but twisted around her little fingers. His mate was a force.
Kaiden let out a low rumbling laugh, and Rowan felt his friends relax as he turned his gaze from them and back to his dad, whose own stare had taken on that faraway look that meant he was remembering something fondly, "Your mother tried to run from me. A few times."
Rowan was shocked at the words, not at all expecting his father's confession. His parents had always been inseparable, their bond unflinching and unmatched.
"But not for the reasons Rebecca once ran from you. And for a lot of the reasons Isabelle will now not run." Patting the chair beside him, the King waited until Rowan was sitting before continuing. "That one's a fighter. For everything that Rebecca was, and despite what her parents tried to force her to be, she never was one. It's not a bad thing, and at the time that isn't what you needed. But Isabelle won't be sidelined, and she won't let you determine her life for her. And now, we're offering her the biggest challenge yet - a world she doesn't belong too. Don't underestimate her son." The words were gentle but strong, pride and concern in the King's voice as he smiled at his firstborn.
The words settled around them and Rowan took a deep breath before clearing his throat and changing the subject. "We need to talk about Solani." He wasn't ignoring or dismissing his father's words, but rather needed time to digest them. To consider what his father was offering him. The possibility he was presenting, if it was true, gave him a hope and chance he'd barely ever let himself consider.
Understanding shone in the King's knowing gaze, recognizing Rowan's need for time and space, scratching at his chin in thought before speaking. "I know why you didn't visit, and we all agreed it was for the best at the time-"
"But now there's a threat." Rowan finished heavily, guilt weighing and pulling at him and his words at the thought that once again, they were threatened because of him and his past.
"It was always a threat." The King said, voice filled with conviction. "Your mother warned us of the threat that Solani presented long before you were born. We've had over a two-decade reprieve, but we all understood and acknowledged that this was always a possibility."
"We never liked to visit any more than you did mate." Clay said gently. The Head Warrior looking up from his own conversation with Olivia.
"And you weren't the only one that was happy to skip that visit." Olivia added in, neither having missed a word of the conversations around them. It was their job.
"There were reasons Rowan, and you weren't the one that made the decision, you carry enough responsibility," His father reprimanded gently, "don't shoulder what isn't yours."
Nodding to them he tried to shake off the guilt, from the looks they weren't buying it. "I can head out tomorrow, as soon as the pyre is finished." He said instead hoping they'd let it go, at least for now. At the moment, he really didn't want or need their compassion and support, their reasoning and excuses. He deserved to feel shitty and he was determined to not let them try to make him feel better about it.
"Tomorrow night is soon enough, spend some time with your Aunt and the other's. They'll want to see you. And you'll take Hayden and Derek with you." The King said frowning slightly at the obvious shift.
"I'll be fine without them. Besides they're here to train." Rowan argued back, not wanting to steal anymore time from his two friends. They had their own responsibilities and training to do before they could head back to their families and packs. Back to where they were supposed to be. Both were supposed to start taking over their roles in their packs in the next couple years, but they couldn't do that until they finished training with his father, as well as Richard and some of the other Court.
"It'll wait. They'll travel with you to Solani. And take the twins. Olivia, are you up to go as well?" He asked ignoring Rowan who opened his mouth to argue but stopped at the King's raised hand. Olivia smirked at Rowan who was shaking his head at her before turning to Kaiden and nodding. Satisfied the King turned back to him, sighing at Rowan's dark look, as if he was being the difficult one. "It's pack business Rowan, take her. We'll be fine here with Blair and Clay, they're perfectly capable." His dad's lips twitched at the corners as Olivia gave a snort at his reassurances, before frowning at Rowan's set shoulders. "We both know you need your mate with you - don't Rowan." He said, stopping him again with a raised hand, "I know the instinct, but you can't cage her. She'll go with you. Richard will supplement the twins with more Guardians, but Hayden and Derek will act as Isabelle's Guards for now."
"Dad, I can't ask that of them." He protested even as he felt relief swell at his father's words, his wolf's agitation easing with the command.
"You aren't asking them. I am." The King said. "They know her, and she trusts them. They'll continue to act as her personal Guardians until Richard can have others trained for her. And if you think they'd have it any other way than you don't know them as well as I thought."
Turning to the two Rowan was met with matching challenging stares from both males, exhaling he nodded, gratitude at his cousin and friend flowing over the link. He would have tried to hide it, but he wouldn't have been able to truly trust Izzy's safety to anyone but those in this room, and they knew it as much as his dad did.
"So, to Mordor then." Hayden said darkly.
"They won't talk easily, especially to me." Rowan said, ignoring his cousin who began to hum the death march under his breath.
"You'll just have to make them." The King said almost regretfully. For what though, Rowan wasn't completely sure; regret for what he was asking of him, what was going to come, or the path they were being forced down, perhaps it was some combination of all three. "We've let them continue on in their ways for all these years, but now it's time to take back what is rightfully ours. Their guard was only as good as their anonymity. But if Doyle knows of them now, then we can't take the chance."
"The rumors could be a rouse to get us to lead him to it." Blair said piping up from his father's other side.
"It's a possibility, and we'll have to be prepared that's it's a trap. But your mother isn't going to give into his demands, even if I wanted her too, so an attack is coming either way and we can't risk that happening with it falling into his hands. Better we confirm its existence than let him discover it on his own." The King's words were thoughtful and careful. The decision anything but rash, every step weighted and considered fully. They had tried to find any other way but in the end, it was the only choice they had. "The best we can do is recover it and find a way to destroy it."
"If that's even possible." Richard said thoughtfully. He had fallen silent after arguing Hayden out of a hair-brained plan to try and confront the Rogues head on.
"We'll have to cross that bridge when we get to it." The King said with a sigh, turning to the Guardian, "Teach Rowan everything you know of it and Solani, all the old prophecies and myths, he'll need them." When the Guardian nodded Kaiden turned back to his son. "Even in the darkness you can find light my son."
Rowan just nodded, the words rattling in his head as he turned to stare at Izzy now curled on the bed beside his mother and Kio, their eyes closed as they dozed softly. The three of them a shimmering promise of light and hope in the dark.