Savannah POV:
Three days, that's how long it's been since I ended a life, since I killed the monster that was Mike. When Jax found me that night I could not control my tears as I cried loudly in his arms. Not because I was scared or because I felt remorse, because I felt numb and emotionless for taking the life out of a person's eyes. Even if that person was Mike, it didn't bother me and that's what frightened me the most. When Jax tried to comfort me he just made it worse, he was trying to defend my actions so I wouldn't feel bad, but I already didn't care. I was stronger than I knew and I distanced myself from my emotions to save my life without acting like a little bitch about it. I just hope I feel this disconnected from actions because Mike had caused me so much pain and in my subconscious I know he deserved it. I feel completely fine and unaffected by what I've done and I don't know if that's normal. I stirred in my bed turning on to my back and looking up to the ceiling. I haven't left my room since it happened and have been avoiding everyone except for my parents and Jeff. I couldn't see Jax, I wasn't ready, but today I promised he could come over. I know he's been worried but I can't shake the feeling he's going to stop loving me after this. Jax would be here soon so I decide I should get up and attempt to look presentable. I shower quickly and pull my dark damp hair into a long side braid. I brush a couple layers of mascara onto my eyelashes and outline my eye lid with black liner. I place both my hands on either side of the sink and look up at my reflection in my bathroom mirror, when I decide I am satisfied with my complexion I make my way back into my bedroom to pick out some clothes for the day. I throw on black leggings and navy blue camisole topped with a light grey cardigan. I roll up my sleeves as I make my way down the hallway and into the kitchen where my parents are both of course sitting at the table.
"Morning baby, how you feeling?" My mom asks a little too softly for her nature.
I smirk and scoff at her attempt at affection.
"I'm fine mom, no need to bring out that creepy voice you think sounds sweet."
My dad chuckles lightly as my mom looks displeased.
"That voice is fucking sweet." She says adding the needed Gemma profanity.
"Gem, who you trying to kid?" My dad says jokingly.
"You know what? Fuck you both; I'm going to the lot call if you need anything." She says smiling at us while she shakes her head.
"I forgot mom can't take jokes." I say to my dad as I prepare myself some coffee.
"Your mother can take a lot of shit... jokes not one of them." He laughs quietly. "I'm gonna head out too, Jax should be here soon though right?" He asks putting his arms through his cut that was hanging off the kitchen chair as he makes his way to the back door.
"Yeah, don't worry I'm fine" I assure as he opens the door but stops in his tracks.
"Cal-" He begins but I cut him off as I put my hand up signalling for him to stop talking.
"I'll call if I need anything." I say slightly smiling.
He nods and exits the house closing the door quietly. Before I hear the loud sound of his bike roar I hear one approaching in the distance. It must be Jax. I peek out the window as he parks on my driveway giving my father a nod as he drives away and Jax unclasps his helmet making his way to the back door. The door slowly opens moments later and the shaggy haired blonde enters through the door frame.
"Hi." He says simply shutting the door as he makes his way over to me.
"Hi" I say back as he reaches me and his hands wrap around my waist our foreheads now touching.
"I missed you babe." He tells me as he places a gentle kiss to my lips.
"I know, I missed you too... I just felt like-"I say stopping not knowing the words that would complete my thoughts.
"I get it, taking a life is not something that comes easy without any sort of repercussions." He tells me his breath warm on my skin and his hands never falter from their grip on my waist
"Can I tell you something?" I say just above a whisper looking down at the ground.
"Of course babe." He says using his index finger to prop up my chin so my eyes meet his.
"I don't feel bad, I feel relieved. When his heart stopped beating, I already felt a weight lifted off of my chest." I say closing my eyes.
"You shouldn't feel bad, that piece of shit deserved to fucken die." Jax tells me rubbing his thumb lightly of my cheek causing me to open my eyes and look back at him.
"So you don't think that makes me a monster... that I don't feel bad." I speak my nervous thoughts for the first time.
"Sav, we've all done worse than that and as far as I'm concerned you let him off easy. The shit I would have done to that bastard that would make a monster... not you." He says gritting his teeth before he softens his tone quickly.
"Okay... what'd you do with him?" I ask nervously.
"Don't worry about it, it's done and it will never come back to you I promise." He says tightening his grip around me as he lifts me up and plops me down so I am sitting on the countertop as he stands in between my legs.
"I trust you." I say smiling as I peck him on the lips.
"Your mom is doing that SAMCRO booth again this year for that Taste of Charming thing, maybe you should help her... you know take your mind off things." Jax suggests while he takes my hands in his.
"Maybe I will, when is it?" I ask grinning.
"In a couple of days, all the old ladies are in on it." He tells me matter-of-factly.
"Oh maybe I shouldn't then." I say already knowing where I want my comment to lead.
"Why not?" He asks with a confused smirk.
"Cuz I'm not an old lady" I say my grin growing larger.
Jax scoffs then smiles back at me taking my face in his hands.
"Damn right you're an old lady." Jax says in a humored tone.
"Really? Who's?" I say sarcastically.
"Mine and don't you forget it." He says scooting me further off the counter and closer to him until our lips meet in a hungry kiss. Jax's tongue is about to enter my mouth when his phones ringing pulls us apart.
"Uhh seriously?" I ask slightly annoyed at our loss of contact.
"Sorry babe, its Jeff I should take it." Jax says flipping his phone open as he turns away so his back is to me.
"What's up?" Jax says and then pauses listing to Jeff's voice.
"Right now?" Jax asks him.
"Are you sure- yeah man I'll get her there." He says getting cut of in the middle of his sentence before he closes his phone. Jax then turns to look back at me with a hesitant look on his face.
"What?" I say growing a little anxious.
"Jeff wants you to go to the clubhouse... some sort of family meeting." Jax says not clarifying further.
"About?" I say hoping down from the worktop and walking closer to Jax looking up to his eyes that seem to have more information than he is letting on.
"I'm not supposed to tell you until we are there." He says knowingly.
"Do you really think I'm gonna go if you don't tell me?" I say stepping closer to Jax running my hand further and further down his chest trying to tempt him.
"You're killing me... He's bringing Noelle there, said something about getting off on the wrong foot and how he wants you and your mom to give her a second chance." He tells me guiltily for spilling so easily.
"What the fuck? I'm not going there; fuck her she's a stupid prissy bitch that will never fit in with SAMCRO." I say pushing Jax further from me before he grips my hand steadily.
"I told him I would get you there and that's what I'm doing, if I have to throw you over my fucken shoulder then so be it. Give her a chance for Jeff and stop being so protective over him, he's a big boy and he's the one who breaks hearts." Jax says growing annoyed at my stubbornness.
"Exactly, he's never had his heart broken because he never takes relationships seriously, now the one time he does it's with a girl like her who won't hesitate to fuck him over." I say raising my voice.
"He's fine and can handle himself, stop being so god damn stubborn and let's go."
"Fine." I say in a loud huff as I grab my handbag and head out of the door with Jax following behind me.
When we arrive at the clubhouse my eyes my eyes dart towards an unfamiliar car. It must be Noelle's. I swing my legs to one side of Jax's bike and step off with the help of his ready hand that pulls me closer to his side. I think he can sense my unease as he speaks.
"Relax, give her a chance before you bitch her out again." He says with an unruly smile.
"I can behave myself, but if I feel the need to bitch her out don't try and stop me." I say swinging my hand in his as we step inside the clubhouse.
All of the guys are doing the usual (drinking and hooking up with crow-eaters) so they are unaffected my presence. My mom and dad are the only ones who look apprehensive or affected by the girl Jeff has decided to bring into his life. My eyes meet my mother's as she and my dad get up and walk over to me and Jax.
"You ready for this Savvy?" My mom asks after she scoffs.
"Not like I really had a choice." I say looking at Jax as he winks playfully.
"It was probably that stupid prissy bitches idea to blind sight us with this." My mom says through her teeth.
"O come on, both of you, Jeff can make his own choices I'm fucken sick of hearing this bullshit. Both of you are gonna go in there and be civil and that's the end of it. Understand?" My dad says annoyed and flustered.
"Yeah whatever." I say half heartily.
"Gem?" Jax says at her lack of response.
"I'll decide after, I talk to the whore that's making my son becoming pussy whipped." My mom says with attitude and a vain look on her face.
"You two are gonna give me a migraine." My dad says as he holds each of his hand on either side of his face.
"Where are they?" I ask ready to get this shit over with.
"Chapel." My mom says walking towards the doors as we all follow.
We step inside and I see Noelle, the same girl I bitched out during lockdown looking even more out of place than before. I then decide that eventually both her and Jeff will realise she doesn't belong and they will end things without the lift of a finger. As long as she doesn't do anything to provoke me, I guess I will treat her like my new best friend. The saying does go keep your friends close and your enemies closer.
"Thanks for coming Savvy, I know you guys didn't get off to the best of starts but you all need to fucken work it out because I'm not gonna choose." Jeff says trying to remain calm but I can sense he's growing irritated.
"Yeah I agree, I really didn't mean to make such a bad first impression. I'm so sorry if I offended either of you in any way. I would really like it if we could just start over." Noelle says with possibly the most annoying valley girl voice I have ever heard.
No one speaks for a few moments before Jax chimes in.
"Well this is between you five so I'm just gonna be outside and let you talk as a family." He says turning to exit the chapel before my hand grabs onto his and causes him to halt.
"I want you here." I say pleading with him to stay.
"Yeah man, you're like my brother." Jeff adds.
Jax nods and we all take our seats at the table; usual used only during church. Noelle explains some stupid sob story about how she and Jeff were fighting that week (Even though they sound like they fight every week.) and that's why she was on edge. My mother stays silent throughout the whole discussion and simply listens to what everyone else has to say. Jeff speaks multiple times telling us gay shit about how in love with her he is and blah blah blah. We ended the discussion my deciding whenever we were around each other we would be friendly. Although I delivered my best fake smile and performance, I could tell Noelle saw right through it and unless Jeff was around to watch nothing would change between her attitude towards us. But that was fine with me the faster Jeff sees her true colors the faster the bitch is out of our lives for good. They'll never last.