NIALL'S POV
I solemnly gazed at my mother, who was sitting next to the window ledge with a book in her lap, looking out the glass window with a blank stare. I knew that look of hers. She always wore it when she was deeply upset about something, and was thinking too hard about it.
I admit. I was always a momma's boy, and my little sister was a daddy's girl. I always knew when Mum was feeling sad, when she needed cheering up with one of my cheesy jokes and song parodies.
I sighed. I was now nose to nose with the glass, inches away from my mother. It hurt like hell that she couldn't see me, that she didn't know that her son never left; he's still here.
I know that by coming here, being near my family, being on the outside looking in, I was being a masochist.
But I can't help it. This is the only place where I feel calm. Where I feel a sense of safety, a sense of serenity. And you feel the same serenity with Zayn as well, my conscience tacked along.
Heaving out a heavy sigh for the nth time tonight, I drifted to my usual place, the steep cliff somewhere in Ireland. I perched myself on the top, legs dangling, as I stared out at the stormy grey sea. The stars were twingling above, and the whole atmosphere made my solemn mood shift a bit, as I found myself smiling at the serene sounds and sights of nature.
It was weird. I could drift almost anywhere in the world, when I knew for a fact that only the ghost who found closure were granted freedom, and the rest (like me) haunted their places of death. but not me. Guess I really am a freak.
I sighed and closed my eyes. When I was alive, I never stopped and took notice of the little things. And that was one of my mistakes. The little things are what make the biggest differences, and the littlest mistakes make the biggest impacts.
Littlest mistakes... was going to Zayn for help actually a mistake that was now this huge mess? Or was this meant to happen? I can't ignore the feelings I have towards Zayn, no matter how wrong they might be. It doesn't matter. He doesn't care about me, or think of me that way. He thinks I'm annoying.
"Niall? Niall can you hear me?" the familiar voice carried over the soft wind, and I shuddered. Oh God. Now I keep hearing his voice in my head. I'm too far gone.
"Niall? Please I just want to talk to you," his velvety voice pleaded once again, and my eyes widened in realisation.
Could it be that Zayn is actually calling out for me? He actually wants to talk to me again? But why?
Suddenly feeling an unusual rush fill up my essence, I stood up from the hilltop, and closed my eyes, concentrating on my destination; Zayn.
~*~
I apparated in Zayn's room, and he was sitting cross legged on his bed, his head cradled in his hands. I bit my lower lip.
"Zayn?" I called out tentatively, hesitantly. Zayn snapped his head up inhumanely fast, staring at me like I was a ghost- well you get my point.
"Niall? How did you..." Zayn trailed off, his voice hoarse.
"Um. I thought I heard you call my name," I shrugged, looking at him hopefully.
Zayn looked even more startled now. "Wait... you heard me? From... wherever you were?"
I shrugged again, but on the inside, I was just as awed as Zayn was. "Yeah."
Zayn nodded, and nibbled on his lower lip. He then stood up from his bed, standing eye level with me. "Look Niall. Please. Hear me out. I need to apologize to you. This was so long overdue," Zayn shook his head.
"You want to apologize to me?" I echoed in disbelief.
Zayn nodded feverishly. "Yeah. I just. Ugh!" He grasped his hair in frustration. "I don't know where to start!" He then met my eyes. "I guess I should start with thanking you," he smiled.
"Thanking me? For what?"
"For saving my life," Zayn responded, his hazel eyes shining with gratitude. I gulped.
"You remember what happened?"
Zayn shook his head. "No. Not much after Justin took me. But I know no one else would save my pathetic arse except you Niall," Zayn laughed humorlessly. I opened my mouth to disagree, but Zayn waved a hand.
"It's true. And just accept my gratitude. And now my apology," he gulped, and then started pacing the room.
"Niall, I am so, so sorry I was a dick to you. I was-- I still am, your ghost counselor, and that means you are my responsibility. You came to me for a reason, you came to me so I could help you, and I had no right to dismiss you and hurt you just because of my selfish reasons."
"But," I interjected. "I was getting a bit nosy, I admit. So I understood your reasons," I murmured.
"But- but I shouldn't have hurt you like that! I was acting so selfishly, just thinking about how you were supposedly annoying me, and not thinking about how you needed my help," Zayn sighed.
"It's not your fault, Zayn. It was 'cos of Justin..." I trailed off.
"N-no it wasn't! I said those words to you Niall. They came out of my mouth! And I've been beating myself with guilt since then," Zayn choked and I looked up at him in shock. He was close to crying. Does he really feel that much remorse about what he said?
"And the worst part is that I didn't even mean any of them. I never wanted you to go away Niall," Zayn spoke, walking closer to me. "You were never annoying, you were just trying to go out of your way and save me. And the truth is, I needed you. Hell, I still need you," Zayn breathed, now inches away from me, his hazel eyes never leaving my blue ones.
My breath hitched as his words registered. I remembered how I think that our connection has been formed. Is it possible that it really has formed? Does Zayn feel it too then? And yeah. I need him too.
"I forgive you," I murmured. "And God, Zayn. You have no idea how much I need you. How much I want you," I confessed, taking a huge breath, and closed my eyes. I reopened them, to see Zayn staring at me with an emotion I couldn't decipher.
Great. We had just made up and I messed it all up.
"Funny," Zayn commented, placing a hand on my shoulder, and moving it to my neck. "I've been feeling the exact same way. It's weird, it's impossible, but for the first time ever..." Zayn grinned at me. "I don't give a single fǔck."
And that was all I needed to hear. In a millisecond, I grasped Zayn's waist and pinned him to the wall, attacking his lips with mine. He instantly responded, wrapping his arms around my neck. This was the second time we were kissing, and it was even better than the first time around.
"Z-zayn?" I mumbled against his lips.
"Yeah?" he sighed.
"D'ya know why we were always able to touch?" I murmured against the warm skin of his neck.
"No, why?" Zayn breathed.
I locked our eyes. "It's 'cos of our connection. You and I have formed that ghost-human bond. That's why you are the only one who I can feel. That's why Justin couldn't take your soul."
"Oh. That's... wow. I never thought it was possible with us but... wow," Zayn smiled cutely, leaning our foreheads together.
"And of course," I murmured. "This connection is also the reason I'm getting this overwhelming urge to ravish you," I spoke huskily, making Zayn blush and tighten his arms around my neck.
"Then g-go ahead," he murmured against my ear. I smirked, and once again connecting our lips, we slowly fell on his bed in the classic fashion.
I roughly tugged off his shirt, throwing it to the side. I planted kisses all over the smooth skin of his neck and exposed collarbones, all the way down to his abs and happy trail. Zayn kept squirming underneath me, and I pulled back.
"Am I too cold?"
Zayn snapped his head up at me, and shook his head, covering my hand that was resting on his stomach with his own. "No. You're perfect."
I couldn't form a word after that, and instantly attacked Zayn's mouth with mine, our bodies flush against each others, our tongues tangling. Zayn moaned against mouth, and the sound caused a tingling sensation in my lower area. I stiffened in shock.
"What's wrong?" Zayn murmured against my lips. He then pulled back, hazel eyes looking at me worriedly.
"I-I didn't know I could still feel that. Wow," I spoke. I then smirked at Zayn. "Guess you make me feel human in more ways than one." When Zayn understood what I meant, he blushed furiously. I cupped his red cheek and straddled his body, leaning down and capturing his lips between mine.
I shifted against his lap, causing us both to let out breathy moans. I don't remember being this intimate with anyone for a long time. With Josh, I was this close, but never had I felt this... amazing with him.
Zayn slipped his fingers through my golden locks, pulling at them, while our lips continued to move together feverishly.
I once again shifted, causing friction between our lower halves, and making warmth flush to my lower side. My body had always been cold, and now Zayn was making me feel warm. Only he can.
I felt something poking my thigh, and looked down to see that Zayn had a tent in his joggers. I smirked. Did I actually cause that?
"Stop smirking, ghost boy," Zayn whined, causing me to chuckle.
"You're so cute, my human," I cooed, pecking him, teasing him. I continued to rub our crotches against the other's, and I felt my own hard on minutes later. Wow. I still can get hard. Who knew.
"N-niall. Stop. I'm gonna," Zayn panted. I didn't stop though, just moved up against his lap teasingly slow, causing him to let out a loud moan. But I didn't stop, and minutes later, he came undone under me.
I panted, and looked down at Zayn's beautiful, flushed face. I ran my fingers through his matted hair.
"Did we just have sex... with clothes on?" Zayn scrunched his nose up. I raised an eyebrow.
"Looks like it," I laughed contentedly, burying my face in his sweet smelling neck. I have never felt this good in years.
Zayn's face scrunched up, and I slid off his lap. "Ugh. Gotta go change my pants," he grimaced, sliding out of the bed. I burst out laughing for no reason, collapsing on his now empty bed. I just felt so... light.
Zayn rolled his eyes as he walked over to the bathroom. "You need anything?" he called.
"Nope. I'm a ghost. I don't get messy," I said cheekily. Very convenient might I add.
"Interesting," Zayn commented.
When he was back and cleaned up, I once again kissed him passionately. I couldn't get enough honestly, and Zayn didn't seem to mind.
"What are we Niall?" he murmured once I finally let him go
I sighed at the inevitable question. "I don't really know. But for now, I'm a ghost and you're my counselor. And you're he human that I have a connection with."
Zayn smiled. "Sounds good to me."
~*~
Naughty Ziall! And yay they made up! Hope the fluffy smut was decent. Hope you pervs are happy! :D
Now this will be the last update for a LONG time cos of my exams and stuff. So I hope you guys would wait patiently and not abandon me and this book. :)
We still have to see what will happen when Justin returns, what happened to him, how will Ziall's relationship fare and of course... will Niall ever cross over? And leave Zayn?
~zarrycupcake xx