Song for the chapter: "Why don't you love me," by Hot Chelle Rae ft. Demi Lovato.
A/N: I just want to say with complete sincerity that I am so grateful and touched by all your comments in the previous chapter. It means a lot to me that there were some of you who weren't ashamed to express your relationship fears. I don't know about you but reading the comments made me realise I'm not alone in what I fear. We all have something we're afraid of and it doesn't make us weird if we have them. So thank you for sharing.
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The sky was the same musky blue with the sporadic fluffy white spots she'd known since young. The air smelled the same; thick and filled with hints of exhaust fumes and the alluring combination of scents from the overpopulation of food trucks. The noise was the same, busy chatter overpowered by the honking and revving of daily traffic. Everything was exactly how she had left it before she got married except, Vanessa felt different.
It could have been that she was now legally a Peterson and not a Brady but, Vanessa was sure it was more than just semantics that had her feeling like a stranger in her home city.
"Are you alright?" Jonah asked from beside her. They sat in his SUV, driving towards her apartment where Nick waited for her with AJ. After landing, Vanessa and Jonah had taken a cab to his apartment where they'd collected his car and all his belongings, those that he found valuable and that could fit in the trunk.
He was moving in. Things were going to be different from then on.
Vanessa moved her head away from the window where she'd been watching her beloved New York City pass by her. She looked at Jonah whose face was pointed ahead of him and his attention focused on the traffic. He wore a pair of faded blue jeans with a black polo shirt and, with the streetlights hitting in through the windows, he appeared tranquil. He was relaxed and once again, everything Vanessa wasn't.
"I'm just thinking," she eventually answered Jonah.
"What are you thinking about?" He asked.
She sighed before resting her head on the headrest behind her. "I was just thinking how nothing here has changed. We were gone for a week and it's as though we weren't even missed, life went on."
Jonah hummed before quickly indicating that he was turning left. "That's how life works. Only those who you know miss you, the rest of the world carries on."
Vanessa snorted, "It's kind of a depressing thought isn't it."
"I suppose so," he paused. "What got you thinking about this anyway?"
Vanessa shrugged, "Everything is the same but I don't feel the same."
"In a good way or a bad way?" He asked hesitantly.
Vanessa thought about it for a moment. In truth she wasn't sure in what way she felt different, she just did. "I'm not sure. I wouldn't say it's a bad way. I just feel like everything is changing now and it's kind of a scary thought."
Jonah turned his head away from the road and looked towards Vanessa with a smile. He took his hand off the gearshift and reached across the seat to grab hold of her hand. He gave her hand a quick squeeze before saying, "I know that it's scary that things are changing but thank you for trusting me enough to let this happen. I won't make you regret giving me a chance."
Vanessa said nothing but smiled and squeezed his hand back.
She really hoped he was right.
#
It was past ten at night when Jonah finally pulled up to the apartment building Vanessa lived in. He observed the tall, concrete standing building and noticed how decent looking it was. In fact, the whole area was decent looking. He should have known Vanessa would live in a good neighbourhood considering who her parents were.
"AJ is probably asleep," Vanessa commented as she exited the car. She walked towards the front door and left Jonah to collect his bag. They'd agreed to move his things in when morning came.
Once Jonah had his duffel bag filled with clothes in his hand, he walked towards the buildings' entrance where Vanessa stood waiting for him. They walked in silence towards the elevator and let it take them to the third floor. They walked down a small hallway right until the end to room 318.
"This is home," Vanessa whispered as she pushed the door open. Jonah held his breath, unsure of what to expect. When a squeal greeted them, Jonah found he was right to hold his breath.
"Mommy!" A tiny voice squeaked before a small body ran to the entrance and into Vanessa. Vanessa laughed before crouching down to greet AJ.
"Oh my baby boy! I've missed you so much!" Vanessa had her arms wrapped around his small body and her lips kissing any part of his body she could find.
Jonah smiled at the sight, noticing how for the first time in his life, his heart fluttered. He would be an idiot not to find the sight of his wife with her son to be an endearing and adorable thing to witness.
Vanessa pulled AJ away from her body and looked into his big, dark blue eyes that looked just like Vanessa's. "What are you doing up so late young man?"
AJ giggled before giving his mother the best puppy dog eyes Jonah had ever seen. "I wanted to see you."
Jonah watched from behind Vanessa at how the small boy with the thick raven hair, round face, pudgy nose and big deep blue eyes, pouted and fluttered his eyelashes innocently. His heart melted at the sight and he was immediately filled with the strong urge to coo at the boy and wrap him in a tight hug. There was no way Vanessa could stay strong against such well-played innocence and cuteness.
"I wanted to see you too baby. But you need your sleep."
"Can you tuck me in?" AJ asked.
Vanessa smiled, "Of course. But I need you to meet someone first." Vanessa looked behind her at Jonah and his breath caught. This was it; this was the moment he'd been nervous about since they left their resort hours ago. This was the moment where he had to meet his stepson and hope that he liked him.
"AJ sweetie," Vanessa pulled AJ closer until he was directly in front of Jonah. She motioned for Jonah to crouch down and he did so awkwardly. "Do you remember that mommy got married last week?" AJ nodded. "Do you know what it means that mommy is married?"
"It means you're happy like Uncle Nick and that you have a husband."
Vanessa chuckled lightly, "That's right. I have a husband but do you know what it also means?" AJ shook his head. "It means that Jonah will be living with us and that he's joining our family."
AJ smiled and looked at Jonah. His big eyes blinked at him a couple of times before AJ smiled toothily at Jonah. "Are you going to be my daddy then?"
Jonah blinked and then blushed as red as his hair. He looked next to him at Vanessa for some guidance on how to answer the question. She shook her head and he assumed she didn't want AJ to confuse him for a father.
"Um," Jonah cleared his throat. "It means that I'll be living with you and that you and your mom are now my family. It means that I'm here to help you with anything you need help with and it means I'm here to play with you whenever you want me to. I'm here to love you and your mom no matter what."
AJ'S smile increased and it took only a second before he was squealing again in excitement. He moved forward so quickly that neither Jonah nor Vanessa had a moment to react. AJ threw his arms around Jonah and squeezed them tight around Jonah's neck.
"We can play all the time!"
Jonah chuckled before wrapping his own arms around the small body. "That's exactly what it means kiddo."
Vanessa cleared her throat and AJ moved away from Jonah to look at his mother. "AJ, why don't you go get into bed so I can come tuck you in. I'm going to find Uncle Nick and let him out okay?"
AJ nodded before asking, "Can Jonah tuck me in as well?"
Jonah's eyes widened in surprise and he quickly looked to Vanessa to see her reaction. She too had her eyes widened in surprise except hers were glossy. "If that's alright with Jonah," she answered.
Jonah nodded his head and AJ yelled in celebration before rushing off down the hallway to where Jonah assumed his bedroom was. Silence filled the small space Jonah and Vanessa stood in and it had Jonah wondering if he'd done anything to upset Vanessa. He wanted to ask her but before he got any words out, a deep voice spoke from around the corner and eventually, Nick was in the doorway with them.
"Nessa," he greeted before wrapping his arms around Vanessa. He kissed her head before pulling away from her. "That sounded like it went well."
Vanessa shrugged, "I suppose. Um, look Nick, I know that I haven't seen you in a week but, could we meet tomorrow to catch-up? It's late and we could do with some sleep."
Nick nodded and moved past her towards the door. "Of course, I should get back to Belle anyway. I'll talk to you tomorrow alright." Vanessa nodded and watched as Nick walked out the door and closed it behind him.
Jonah looked towards Vanessa, noticing how she stood with her arms around her body as though to shield herself from something. "Vanessa, are you alright?" He asked.
She cleared her throat, "I need to get AJ to bed. If it's all right, can we not share a bed tonight? I want to speak to AJ first and make sure he understands what our relationship is about." Jonah nodded in understanding. It was a reasonable request. It would be weird for AJ to walk into her bedroom and find Jonah there when he wasn't expecting it.
"I understand."
"Good. There's a spare bedroom down the hallway, first bedroom on the left. You can get comfortable so long while I say goodnight to AJ."
"Should I come with you?" He asked, remembering AJ's request earlier that Jonah tuck him in as well.
"No, I think its best you don't." With that, Vanessa disappeared down the hallway towards AJ's room, leaving Jonah alone in a house he didn't know. Jonah sighed before grabbing for his bag he had dropped earlier.
It seemed that every time he thought he was making progress with Vanessa, he'd actually be more steps behind. He couldn't understand what he'd gone and done wrong now but he knew that if things didn't change in the morning and if Vanessa continued to ignore him; he'd be leaving for good.
He was getting tired of always giving and wanting for the relationship to work out when it was becoming clear that Vanessa didn't want the same thing.
If Vanessa didn't start making an effort, Jonah was going to ask for a divorce.
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A/N: I wrote a new short story called Love and other calamities. Please go check it out on my profile. I would love to know what you think of it.