My hands shook in pure excitement as I held the fancy fountain pen in my hand. How to start? I did not even know where to begin to start! My heart was racing and I just wished so badly for my family to be here. What if they did not wish to come? My stomach dropped for a moment before I shook the thought from my mind. Surely, they would wish to join me.
Mother, Father, and Todd,
I am sorry that my last letter was so short and abrupt - let me go into a bit more detail now.
Before I start boring you with all the details of myself, I do pray and hope that you are all well. Roy has told me that Todd has made many advancements in his recovery, I was simply elated to have heard the news.
I am also sure that you have been informed by others of my current situation. In case you had any doubts even after having received my last letter, yes, it is true. I am now a married woman. I could not refuse the pressures put on me by the king for fear that he would harm any of you. I fear that if I refused I would have never been allowed to see my dear family again.
That is another reason why I am writing, I find that I cannot keep it from you for even a moment! Sir Stanton has proposed an arrangement to me, one that I simply adore him for. I will not lie, I am not positive on my true thoughts of the man - how ironic when he is the very man I am wed to.
I digress, I'm sorry. Stanton has asked me if it would please me to ask the three of you to live in Tarantsmo, the duchy controlled by Stanton. I nearly fainted when I heard the news. He wishes you three to move and live here! You would be less than a ten minute walk from where I now reside. Our manor is not quite in town, but I can see the beautiful buildings from here.
I do hope you wish to join me and we can finally become a family again. Stanton has told me that he has even found a home that would suit you perfectly. How wonderful! You would not have to worry about anything ever again, whether it be food or funds. And Todd could get a proper education if you wished it so!
Please do reply with all haste, I wish to hear word back from you as soon as possible!
Love,
Rebecca.
I was giddy as I sealed the letter and left it upon the tabletop, not completely sure what should be done with it. Looking around me, my eyes locked on the door and I decided I would find Stanton, surely he would see that the letter found its destination.
Upon leaving out the door, I looked down the hallway to my left and to my right, unsure exactly of where to start my search.
Thanking my luck, one of the young aides I had been introduced to earlier passed by. Calling out I waved my hand, "Excuse me. I'm sorry for bothering, but do you have any idea where Stanton might be?"
"Actually, yes. He entered his study a few minutes ago, perhaps he will still be there if you hurry," she said as she adjusted her skirts.
"Thank you," I nodded. "And if I might ask, what is your name?" I vaguely remembered her face, but I was hoping to eventually learn the names of all the staff.
"Amber, my lady," she said with a quick curtsy.
Nodding I spoke, "Pleased to met you Amber. Thank you for your help, I will be seeing you," I said as I took off in the direction of the other wing of the manor, knowing that was where the study was held, though I wasn't sure of its exact location.
After entering several rooms that were not the study, I finally was greeted by the sight of a looming figure standing over a table, looking down upon it in fierce concentration.
His eyes snapped up to me in a hard gaze, causing me to regret not knocking.
"I'm sorry if I have bothered you," I said as I glanced back at the door.
"Nonsense. Do you need something?' He asked as he stood up to his full height and walking towards me.
"Yes, I have written a letter for my family but I was unsure of whom to give it to," I said as I held his strong blue gaze.
"Oh, of course," he said as he nodded absently. "The messenger is in town at the moment, but he will be here soon enough, I shall give it to him then. Where is the letter?" He asked as he held out his hand.
"On the desk in our chambers. Perhaps I could just bring the letter into town myself? I am curious to explore I must admit," I said, smiling slightly.
I was taken back when his words bit out fiercely, "No. You cannot go into town. Not tonight," he shook his head.
"It really is no problem. I am sure I could find somebody who could give me direction to the post," I assured him.
"No. You will not go into town tonight," he said flatly. My chest lit on fire as my eyes narrowed. Defiance coursed through my veins as I internally rebelled against his words.
"Fine. Please do see that the letter is sent promptly, then," I said, huffing and turning. I heard Stanton sigh deeply under his breath.
Who was he to tell me where I can and cannot go? I am independent and I do not need him nor do I want him to assist me in every wake of my life. Nor will I allow him to control me. I tried to smother the annoyance that was resonating within me.
That man was so infuriating. He forced me to jump from one emotion to the next so quickly I hardly had time to process what was happening. At one moment I could be frustrated, intimidated, anxious, or even frightened and the next it could switch completely. I clamped my teeth together as I walked down the halls. It was silly, letting him affect me so.
Finally swallowing my annoyance and letting my body relax, I decided just then that I was not going to let him be the boss of me.
Women are always expected to follow every beck and call of their men, but not I. I am a wife, not a slave. I will not be inferior to him.
Walking quickly to our chambers I snatched the letter off of the desk and exited promptly, trying to avoid confronting Stanton, for he would surely stop me and be infuriated with my rebellion.
Moments later I took a deep breath as I enjoyed the crisp air. Looking behind me, I smirked as I took off, walking in direction of the town that was not so far away.
The walk was peaceful; I watched birds fly to and fro, chirping their beautiful songs all the while. I sighed happily as I noticed there was an undeniable happy feeling settling upon my demeanor. I was certainly in a situation that I would have never in any of my years expected myself to be in, but despite the circumstances, things were working out well...especially now that I have the chance to be close to my family again.
Once I reached town I was surprised to see many sets of curious eyes upon me. They had surely heard word of my arrival but I was not looking forward to all of the formal introductions everybody would certainly impose upon me out of respect. I would much rather if people would not see me as somebody they had to act almost uncomfortably proper around. I was no more impressive than any of them, I would much rather be seen as an equal. Eventually I would make that point clear to them.
Stopping the first person I came across, a tall man, whose head was completely hairless other than the bushy mustache that sat upon his upper lip.
"Excuse me. I'm terribly sorry, this is very rude of me," I said, trying to sound as friendly as I could, despite the uncomfortable feeling in my stomach as he looked at me with a curious and almost scrutinizing expression. "But could you tell me where the post is?"
His green almond shaped eyes blinked a few times before they opened wide, as realization dawned across his face.
"Oh! Duchess," the man said as he averted his eyes to the ground and dipped down in a fast show of respect. "I would be honored to assist you."
"Wonderful," I smiled and was pleased to see that the man returned it with one of his own, his face exuding a friendly warmth.
"Well, I could try and explain it to you, or I could just escort you there. It is only a short distance," he said as he looked toward the town, streets filled with bustling business.
"That would be fine," I said as I nodded, holding the letter loosely in my hands.
I walked alongside the man as he started off at a leisurely pace, walking down one of the streets that lead to the heart of Tarantsmo. I looked from building to building in awe. The architecture was beautiful, I was simply amazed at the grandeur expressed. It was so much more rich than Rillanon, it would be wonderful for my family to be able to live here. They would never have to want for another thing.
We continued walking as the man made small talk, pointing out buildings along the way. We passed a butcher, a tailor, an herbalist, which surprised me, most times herbalists were not accepted warmly. There was also a small orphanage, which touched my heart. I made sure to remember the location so I could visit the first chance I had.
Turning to a medium sized, dark wood building with many windows. Stepping forward, the man swung his arm out, motioning as he spoke. "This is the post, they will be able to help you inside."
"Thank you, it is greatly appreciated. Your kindness will not go forgotten," I said as I gave a quick smile and a curtsy before hurrying into the building.
Upon entering I swept my eyes over the interior. There were curtains upon the windows on the inside, cubbies along one whole side of the wall where the mail was no doubt stored and sorted. Along the floor there were six desks, with someone occupying each one of them. The woman closest to me looked up and smiled.
"How may I help you?" she asked as she placed the quill in her hand onto the desktop.
"I have a letter to send," I said simply, holding it out in front of me.
"Ah," she said as she stood up and flitted over to me, taking short quick steps. I smiled as the fiery red bun that sat upon her head bobbed with her motions. She took the letter from my hand and asked where it would be going to.
"Rillanon," I spoke. "To my family."
She gasped as her mouth snapped shut and then opened again, no sound coming out.
It took her a few seconds before she gathered her wits again as she spoke, "You're the new Duchess."
"I am. Please, call me Rebecca," I said as I smiled.
"So very pleased to meet you, My lady," she said, ignoring my request to be called by my first name. "Word is that you are gorgeous, but you are simply stunning," she said as she smiled at me, her eyes glowing.
"Oh, nonsense," I said waving my hand.
"Modest, as well," she said quietly with a smile. "Oh, what am I doing, standing here like a stricken fool! I'll be sure this is sent promptly."
"Thank you," I smiled and looked to the rest of the post employees, all of their eyes upon me. I raised my hand and gave a quick wave to them, to which they all either smiled or waved back.
Upon leaving the building I saw that the man who had led me there was waiting outside.
"I figured you might need assistance finding your way back, as well," the man said.
"I'm sure I can manage, but if you wish to accompany me, I will not complain," I said as I took off in the direction of the manor, knowing my absence would probably be noticed soon if I did not return.
———
Upon entering the manor I was relieved to see that I was not greeted with an unhappy husband. Perhaps my trip would go unnoticed after all.
I made my way to our chambers, hoping to change into some more comfortable boots than the one I was wearing.
My mood became quickly soured as I opened the door. Upon entering I saw Stanton sitting on the edge of the bed, his hands laced together and sitting on his lap. His arms tensed as he noticed my presence, the muscles tightening. I let my eyes wander to his face and my heart dropped into my stomach.
His face held what could only be recognized as pure, controlled rage. His mouth was a flat line, his jaw clenched. His eyes, which were burning coals focused on his hands, were topped with eyebrows that were being pulled together in frustration.
I was frozen to the spot where I stood, unsure if I should speak first, or wait until he decided to break the silence. My answer was made for me when his voice, smooth and velvety but laced with anger rang out.
"I thought I told you not to venture out tonight."
"Yes. I heard you," I said quietly.
"Then why did you not listen?" He asked, his eyes snapping to me.
"I wished to go into town. So I did. I see no reason to be upset about it," I spoke as I moved forward. My eyes never left his face. His mouth twitched as his nose crinkled.
"I am the man of this house, as well as your husband. You would do well to listen to me when I speak to you," he said, his voice a deadly monotone, dripping with contempt.
"I would do well??" I scoffed, my voice raising as I struggled to control my temper. "I am perfectly capable of making my own place in this household as well as this town, there is nothing wrong with me taking a short trip into Tarantsmo."
"You blatantly disobeyed me."
I cringed inwardly at the word. Disobeyed. Obey. He expected me to obey him? Like some...some sort of pet? Some sort of child? Some sort of helpless crone he can boss around and control?
"Yes, I did," my voice shook with anger as I clenched my fists. I stared into his eyes, watching as he struggled his own rage.
"You will not do it again," he spoke harshly, his words biting into my skin.
"I will do as I please!" I shrieked, my voice cracking as the anger finally toppled over. "You do not own me! You will not tell me what I can and cannot do in my own home!"
He shot up to his feet and strutted over to me so quickly I hardly had time to blink before he was standing in front of me, his hands grabbing my wrists.
"You do not understand!" he spoke violently, shaking me. "You cannot be alone, it is not a safe time. I told you to stay for a reason."
I tried to wrench my arms free but I could not, he had me locked in an iron grip.
"I can defend myself!"
"Hah!" He scoffed, his voice actually holding amusement. "You are just an ignorant girl if you think you can defend yourself against an enemy you do not even know exists!"
"I have been defending myself my entire life. It was what I did for everyday life, I can handle myself in any situation just as well as any man!" I cried, my face hot with emotion.
"You have not heard the threats! You think you can come into Tarantsmo completely unobjected? As if there were no others hoping I would fail because they would be next in line to the title and the wealth along with it?! Greed makes a man sick, Rebecca. Just by being my wife you have a line of enemies you do not even know," He seethed as his hands squeezed tighter, my wrists burning uncomfortably under the pressure.
"I did not know," I said, my head held high.
"You could have come face to face with one of them. You were completely unaware and unarmed. I have no doubt you could handle yourself against one or two foes, but against a large group of them? You would have been destroyed!"
"I...," I stuttered, not knowing what to say. How was I to know? Why had he not told me sooner? How could I possibly have made such strong enemies already, after having just arrived?
"You do not understand the magnitude of the situation," he spoke gravely, his hands loosening, letting my arms drop dumbly to my sides. My chest heaved as my breaths came quick, adrenaline running through my limbs instinctively.
"Then explain it to me," I spoke strongly.
"Perhaps later. I need to go. I must leave before I say something I might regret. You blatantly opposed me today, Rebecca. I would never tell you something if it was not in your best interest. I would never demand anything of you, but I would have hoped if I had implied just one thing of you, that you would invest enough in me to trust in my words," his voice dropped as he blinked, his face clearing of all emotion as I had seen it done so many times.
"I did not know. You should have told me," I spoke, defiant still.
"I planned to tonight after dinner. I figured I would let you settle in to the place first. Become slightly accustomed to the new atmosphere before I tell you that there is a group of possible head hunters after me, putting you in danger by association."
I cringed as he spoke the last few words.
"I'm sorry," I said quietly, knowing there was nothing else I could do, but not being able to ignore the spear of guilt that was imbedded into my gut.
I sighed as he nodded slightly, turned and walked out, leaving me. Before exiting he turned and said, "I trust that you will stay inside. If you are so inclined to trust me," he spoke, his words sarcastic and hurtful, making me feel even more ashamed of my actions.
The door slammed with a loud bang as he left my view. I cursed under my breath as I walked over to the bed and fell face forward onto it, letting out a frustrated huff of air into the blankets. He should have told me! But I should not have taken so much offense to him making one request of me.
I sighed as I realized I had so much to learn. Having to rely on the words and inclinations of another. It was something I was never accustomed to and I felt that it would be a chore to learn.