I stood next to the street as Harry drove away. Our kiss didn't last too long due to the fact that it seemed like we hadn't a clue to as to what we were doing. I didn't really have too much experience in kissing and I had no clue of Harry's track record, not that I really wanted to know what it consisted of. All I could really say about it was that it was starting to feel more and more like I was getting comfortable with the idea instead of being overwhelmed that our lips were actually touching and that didn't fade on into something else.
It was nothing like in my imagination. Obviously, I had a major lack of sensation in my mind, though sometimes I actually believed that what was going on was in fact real because it was so close to feeling that way. What made it more real was that it wasn't some perfect moment with some romantic gesture. As our lips touched rain didn't being to fall upon us. Nothing turned into a heated passion between our mouths. There was no tongue either but, hopefully, we'll get there.
My teeth began to play with the inside of my lips as I tired to recall exactly how I actually felt in that moment. Apparently, kissing didn't require that much thinking and I thought that I could think about the way my lips were supposed to be moving. I wanted to do it right for so many reasons but that all went away as soon as Harry gently nudged his lips against my own to wake them up. Now, all I was left with was this hazy feeling but maybe that was the nostalgia of it all.
I had to not grin like an absolute fool every time we'd pull apart from one another. I'm not going to lie and act like I wasn't beyond happy about how things seemed to be suddenly falling in place just for me. I haven't had to deal much with Zayn or Louis. I was slowly beginning to talk about my problems. Harry and I kissed, more than once, and he told me that he liked me too. There was this one thing that I felt myself missing though, even if I should be a happier person I still felt like there was a part of me I was neglecting. I didn't feel much like the water boy anymore.
I really hope that the decision would keep me in the position. I wouldn't care if the boys went on with ignoring me. I still had Liam and Harry who were now my friends so I wouldn't be completely alone. Sure, the rest of the lot won't like me too much because of whatever could happen to two of the team's players but it's not like I haven't dealt with that before. Hell, if life wanted to be overly kind, maybe the boys would cut me some slack if Zayn and Louis were put on some sort of probation.
The water boy was sometimes how I identified myself. It wasn't in the way Zayn or Louis have. I've already had the chance to miss out on practices and I was bored out of my mind. The water boy was my job and it was the way that I've become so close to Harry. I didn't want to erase that part of myself out of my life. Besides, I was going to lose the title by the end of the season anyway so I might as well be able to enjoy it until the end. I think I deserve to make it that far. I think I deserve to see how it ends for all of the boys as well. I've been there from the start and it would just sadden me if I couldn't make it full circle on this.
Shaking my thoughts, I realised I was still standing outside of my house. Harry's car was long gone now and there was just me, standing in the cold with my hands stuffed up into my sleeves like he left me and I was waiting for his return, believing so hopefully that he'd return.
But those hopefuls didn't have my mum, who would probably be opening the door and shouting to the entire neighbourhood that I was going to catch a cold if I didn't get my arse back inside the house. Wanting to skip out on that little moment, I turned around and began walking back towards my house, Harry's last words, other than "I really need to get going now. I'll see you tomorrow", replayed happily in my mind, giving my footsteps a noticeable boost.
I like you, too, Niall.
I like you, too, Niall.
Hey, Niall! Harry likes you too.
Hey, Niall, you're really starting to sound like a teenage girl in your head.
But, still, Harry likes you too.
Not even you can kill your own mood.
I cleared my throat before I began to turn the door handle, picturing my mum on the other side as soon as it opened or her trying to scurry away from the window and act like she wasn't trying to watch us say goodbye in the longest way we've yet to share. When I did open the door there was no mother patiently awaiting her son's arrival, which was relieving to me because I didn't need to hear her assumptions again that Harry was my boyfriend.
I couldn't think that he was yet because all we did was kiss a few times. So he was still just my friend, who liked me the way I liked him. That's a long label to have on a person but that's who Harry now was to me and maybe he'd get around to just being Harry, my boyfriend. I had to stop myself from smiling just as the simple thought crossed my track of thinking.
"Harry get into his car alright?" My mum asked me as she walked out of the kitchen as I closed the door and kicked off my shoes. I closed my eyes only to roll them in a way she couldn't see them.
I nodded and clicked my tongue behind my teeth. "Yeah, he managed just fine." I smoothed the front of my hair down as I took my hand off the wall, now that I could balance on my own.
"Don't worry, I didn't spy on you this time." She smiled before she walked into the front room and sat down on the couch, letting out a long sigh.
"Oh, well that's good." I told her as I followed her actions, taking a seat next to her. "You know, mum, you don't want people to think you enjoy watching boys from outside your window." I joked with a grin, knowing just how annoyed my mum would be with me.
"Niall James Horan, you watch your mouth with me." She swatted me in the back of the head, just enough to let me know that she wasn't too fond of my playful insult.
I still couldn't help but chuckle as I rubbed the back of my head, soothing it until I couldn't feel the numbing feeling from her hand anymore. I leaned over so I could bump my shoulder with hers. "You know I didn't mean it, yeah?" I couldn't help but smile at her, muffling my laughs that came to me as soon as I looked to her.
"You still shouldn't talk to me like that. I think I've let you joke with me for long enough." She said, trying her best to sound stern with me before she nudged me back, bringing her hand up to ruffle it into my hair. After she pulled her hand away, my own two went into my hair to fix it, shaking it out to make it fall back into place.
"So, I'm proud of you for talking with your coach today." She told me as she placed her hand on my lap and patted it. "And I'm also glad that things will be handled, hopefully properly. I know that you don't want to press charges against these two wrongdoing boys but just keep in mind that what they did to you is worth something happening to them so that maybe they can see that there was no reason for it to start with."
I raised my eyebrow at her. "Wrongdoing boys? I'm pretty sure you want to call them something much less tame than that." I told her before letting out a sigh and looking down to the carpet. "It makes sense in my head not to make them go to jail. I can't really explain it right now but the reason is there."I shrugged my shoulders, not wanting to discuss this again already.
I felt her hand rub in between my shoulder blades and I began to relax them. "You know you can talk to me, or perhaps Harry first if you're more comfortable confiding in him first." She explained to me.
I nodded. "Yeah, I know that."
I actually did want to talk to somebody. I wanted to talk to Liam to get his input but as far as he has told me, he never told a school official about the bullying. All he did was tell his parents and ask them if they could move towns. I know I have this connection now with Liam but our stories are now different. What if he didn't have the answers that I hoped would comfort me?
"Okay, I won't bother you with this anymore tonight. Do you have any coursework you should get started on before supper?"
"Yeah, I do." I replied, making a face because I was in no mood or thinking capabilty to even focus on it. I brought my hands up to rub at my face as I let out a yawn.
"Get to it then." She patted me on the back before she stood up and began to talk back into the kitchen, stopping just outside of it and turning back to look at me and sending me a small smile.
I returned the gesture before I stalled for a few minutes before I got off from the couch to head up to my room so I could ring up Liam for a quick chat. Once I was back inside my room, my eyes stared off straight to my bed. I leaned against my door frame as I tried to picture Harry and I back there and sharing out first real kiss over again. I already knew that this wasn't going to be the last time that I stopped to reminiscence. I just didn't want to forget it so I guess thinking about it reminded me that the moment was still there with me.
I looked around my room quickly for my phone before I sat down on my bed, trying not to seem like a complete creep and wanting to lay back down to see if I could still smell Harry on my sheets. I smoothed my hand over my sheet in circles, sometimes picking at the cotton material, as I waited for Liam to pick up.
"Hello?" I heard Liam's voice ask into the phone. It was soon followed by a loud breath of static.
"Hey, Liam. It's Niall. You have some time?" I asked, my voice cracking with my relief that he had answered.
"Niall? Yeah, I've got plenty. Um, what's going on?"
"Well," I began as I shifted my wieght onto my bed, wanting to get up and pace around my room as I sometimes did when I was on the phone. I aslo had a habit of biting at by fingertips. "I'm just giving you an update on things since, you know, I talked to Coach after school."
"Yeah!" His voice picked up slightly, which was followed by some more random shuffling noises. "How'd that go? How did he react and everything?"
"It was the same with how I was with telling my mum at first and then I just sort of told him. I had some trouble with it at first because I knew once I said their names that things were going to change and make them into targets. The coach said that he was going to talk to them and then he mentioned the possibility of involving police and that's when I started to get nervous again." I explained, pausing for breath and to hear what Liam thought about it. Maybe he could help me out with this.
He let out a heavy sigh. "From what I had to unfortunately witness, there is a chance that the police may have to be talked to. You do remember they attacked you in the car park right? This is you, giving them what's coming to them. You aren't afraid of them anymore, Niall, and they need to know that."
It seemed that Liam was going to take my mum's side. This time I let out a sigh of my own as I rubbed my palm against my forehead and let my fingers lightly scratch at my hair. I shook my head and squeezed my eyes shut for a moment before I opened them again, ready to once again plead my case with someone else who probably thought I was crazy. "I don't care if I should give them what's coming to them. Hell, I know once they find out they won't see this as me not being afraid. This will downright anger them more. I want to do what's going to end this without making another huge deal about it."
I paused again and let out a short huff of air. "Am I doing the right thing or am I just trying to justify everything and get it over with?"
"What is there to justify? Word is out there and something will happen. I believe once Louis and Zayn learn that they've been found out, they'll be more scared of you. Sure, they'll probably express more anger but it's all a mask. Just remember that if they think they can approach you afterwards that there is more pressure on them. They shouldn't get away with this anymore than they already have. Niall, are you having doubts about this now?"
To be honest, I haven't really been thinking about it, well doubting it much. The days have felt quite long for me lately that I didn't have much time to doubt my choices. I had three people who were ready to defend me so maybe that was why I hadn't been so worried. Plus, I've been distracted with Harry but that was a wonderful distraction.
"It's a bit late to doubt it now. The coach knows and he's going to want to talk to them and, another reason why I'm calling, is because he's going to want to chat with you, too. For some reason yours and Harry's names slipped out when he asked me if anyone else knew what was going on. I'm sorry that I got you involved, as you know I never wanted you to be."
"I have no problem with defending you, Niall. And Harry wouldn't either." I couldn't help but to perk up when I heard Liam starting to chuckle on the other end of the phone.
"What's so funny about that?" I asked him, clearly interested in the small manner now.
"Oh, I was just remembering how distraught Harry was that day you were gone and then after you called he couldn't wait to leave the school to come and see you. I've known Harry for a while now and I've never seen him that way before. The guys would give him shit for it."
I couldn't help but to go back to smiling. Harry had been quite eager to talk with me that afternoon. that was also the day he stayed around and really made me feel that my feelings for him could be returned.
Yeah, Liam, you don't know the entire story about the captain and the water boy.
Before I could get another word in with Liam, my phone beeped into my ear. I pulled it away to see that I had received a new text message from Harry. I didn't want to be too rude to Liam by rushing off the phone so I could read Harry's message.
"Yeah, I remember that, too. So, I guess tomorrow just don't be alarmed if someone comes looking for you during class or whatever." I scratched the back of my neck.
"And I will be completely honest with them about what I know. I'll see you tomorrow, then? I've got to get going."
Yeah, That's fine I want to get off the phone with you anyway.
I nodded and said goodbye to Liam, hanging up and quickly searching for Harry's message with anxiety at what he could want after leaving only about a half hour ago.
From Harry Styles:
What's your mum making for dinner? I miss her cooking ;)
I rolled my eyes and softly chuckled to myself. In all my dreams of Harry being my boyfriend, never once had my mum been apart of it. It's not that I don't like them getting along because I'm really happy that they do but it is a bit embarrassing.
To Harry Styles:
That's too damn bad. I'm the #1 man in her life.
-Niall Horan
From Harry Styles:
But I'm quite the charmer though.
"I know you are." I said to myself as I looked down at the message, reading it multiple times before I placed my phone down on my bed next to me.
_______________________
It was another plain morning in Harry's car. Okay, this time it wasn't quite like the usual mornings we shared. Instead of either silence or small talk there was him and I just sitting outside of my house awkwardly as I tried to think if I should lean in and kiss Harry first because maybe Harry didn't want to be the one to initiate it. I didn't even know if Harry wanted to kiss me again so soon but I know that I really wanted to.
Our next kiss was definitely on my mind when I went to sleep last night. I knew that I would be seeing Harry again and now that our feelings have both been shared I was now wondering what happens after all of that. Films usually end with this grand kiss people have been waiting about two hours for and then it's all over. Of course, I didn't get that option and I didn't want that one either.
We both turned to face each other at the same time, causing us to smile and then I briefly glanced away as I told myself that I shouldn't be embarrassed anymore and that I should just go for it already. So, that's what I ended up doing.
I scooted over in my seat and began to lean over the counsel of Harry's car, not enjoying the feeling of the shift gear digging into my side but I ignored it and smiled as Harry sent me another smile before leaning the rest of the way in. His hand went to the side of my face, holding it gently as he playfully brushed his lips once over mine, barely touching mine as he dragged them upwards before kissing me properly.
My lips parted as his ghosted over mine at first, wanting to take his between my own but he didn't make it so easy for me. Even with the softness of his subtle touches, my sensitive lips twitched in anticipation as a shiver ran down from the back of my neck all the way down my spine. My eyes closed as Harry's lips covered over mine and gave me a quick peck before he pulled away.
"How long were you contemplating that?" He teasingly whispered against my lips. I could feel as his own tugged into an amused smile.
I licked at the corner of my bottom lip before lightly scarping my teeth over it. "I'm not telling you."
"Fine. Good morning to you too, by the way." He pecked my lips again before turning his eyes to the road so he could drive us to school.
"'Morning." I sat back in my seat, trying not to let out a sigh as I stretched out my back, feeling the sore pull from the gear shift no longer being pressed into me. I glanced over to Harry and smiled again.
During the rest of the drive to school Harry had asked me what I did with the rest of my night because I seemed to have disappeared on him last night. The truth was I didn't really know how to answer him back because I didn't really know how to flirt via message or even face-to-face with another person. I just told him that I didn't answer him because I was ringing up Liam to tell him what he already knew and then my mum called me down to eat.
Now we were sat in the car park, Harry's hands drumming against his thighs. I could tell that he wanted to tell me something but he wasn't exactly sure how to start out, which made me a little nervous about what was now running through his mind. I don't know if something had changed from the time we had just kissed to now.
"I think we should talk before we get into the school." Harry spoke up and turned his head to face me, bringing his hand up to his mouth and then placing it back down again.
Great.
I already knew what he was probably going to say. He doesn't want to be seen with me as more than just a friend during school. I should have probably seen this coming from how much luck I was already given and that I've never seen Harry actually show affection to anyone in the school halls or anything like that.
"I just think we should wait to hold hands and things like that until everything gets figured out with Louis and Zayn, you know, to keep you safe." He told me in short.
I shook my head, a bit annoyed with all of the worry and protection over me. I understood where Harry was coming from though but he couldn't always be so cautious with me that if a feather brushed against me I would shatter. Hell, he didn't know how I was able to keep it together when he touched me. I was strong enough. He's told me before that I was.
Maybe I wasn't the sole reason Harry didn't want this. Maybe there was more than he was letting on.
"What about you?" I found myself asking him. "It can't all just be for me all the time, Harry." I wasn't going to be blinded over his help anymore. I was never about being that type of person before and I felt that now that he was in my life, in the way I wanted him to be, I was losing the only fight I seemed to have in me all the time: the confidence he has promised me that I've had.
"Right now, Niall, it has to be, okay? I know I told you that I liked you and that hasn't changed. I just want things to calm down for you first." He let out a sigh and reached over for my hand, rubbing mine between the two of his.
"Okay." I mumbled out my agreement before I took my free hand and moved it though his hair, my eyes fixated on the movement of his hair between my fingers with each stroke, the tickling feeling his soft hair left on my skin each time I pulled my hand through his hair.
"I have physical therapy today after school so I'm not going to be able to be there for you." He let out a strangled sigh, his eyes now closed as he looked down. "And I want to be in case anyone thinks they can get to you."
Images of Harry almost crying in the change room came to me and I remembered how I wanted to be there to comfort him and now I had that chance to because he knew that I cared about him. My fingers continued their lazy movements through his hair and I kept my voice tender as I began to remind him that, "It's okay, Harry. I'll be okay." I repeated it a few times and wondered myself if that was going to serve to be true or not.
He lifted our hands to his mouth and removed his that covered the top of mine before placing a kiss to my hand. After his lips left my hand, a chilled stain from his lips momentarily coated my skin. Then all he did was nod.
It was different, seeing Harry in the way that he was used to seeing me all the time and I wondered if it made his chest constrict in pain they way it did when I saw him.
"I'll call you once I'm out of my therapy session." He stated once he looked up.
I couldn't help but shake my head and laugh. It wasn't because I found the fact that he was so worried about me funny. I think that I was just a whirlwind of emotions that laughter was the one that was able to escape from my lips. I gave his hand a squeeze as he gave me a confused look from the way I was acting all of the sudden.
"I'm going to be fine." I reminded him in the best convincing tone that I could after I allowed my chuckles to get under control. I ran my hand through his hair one last time, my fingers no longer experiencing any new found sensations from the feeling of Harry's hair.
"Are you going to be okay?" I asked him as I ducked my face closer to be near his, my hand now finding a resting spot on the back of his neck.
"Yeah, I'm just ready for this to be done like you are. It's my turn to speak up." He let out a sigh before he looked up to the clock on his car radio. "As much as I would love to hide out all day in my car with you, we have class soon." He stated before making a face.
Maybe one day we could just leave and go for a drive off to God knows where.
I couldn't help but smile because hiding out with Harry anywhere sounded so much better than having to go into school and face my problems. Maybe in the beginning I'd let myself hide away but now I knew I had to face them or else they'd always be there waiting for me as soon as I returned.
"Let's go then." I couldn't help but to press my lips against his smooth cheek before taking my hand from his. "And I didn't even have to think about that." I mused with a smile before I climbed out of his car and brought my schoolbag over my shoulder.
Harry followed my actions, closing is door and then waiting for me to walk around his car the rest of the way. As I approached him I turned my hands into my pockets so I didn't have the urge to reach out and take his hand. I selfishly hoped that it wouldn't take long to figure things out. I was getting tired of waiting for things to fall into place but it was probably better off than forcing them into place.
He noticed that I was a bit antsy over it and he sent me a reassuring smile that it wouldn't have to be this way forever.
We walked over to my class together and fell into a conversation about how he once walked into the wrong class on his first day of year six and sat through attendance without even realising his name wasn't called. The class laughed at him when he stood up and his curls flopped when he had to walk shamefully over to the teacher to find out he wasn't where he belonged. At first I didn't understand why he was telling me the story or what moral was behind it but it was nice to learn something so ordinary about him. Then I figured it out. Even Harry Styles was bullied at one point, in some way.
"I wouldn't have laughed at you." I told him once we stopped walking. I could actually picture us being friends. I wondered if at a young age Harry loved football as much as he did now and if we would have gotten along.
Harry shook his head and laughed, bringing his arm around my shoulders, showing it off as merely friendly. "Thanks, Niall. I hope you also wouldn't join in and call me Floppy Moppy."
"Who's Floppy Moppy?" Liam asked as he now stood next to us.
The both of us looked up and Harry's arm stayed wrapped around my shoulders as he spoke to Liam. "He's somebody that I knew when I was younger." He replied nonchalantly before reaching over with his free arm to greet Liam.
"Alright, then. Morning, Niall." Liam nodded off towards me and I smiled back at him. "So, I walked past the change room this morning to see if I could find out it coach was around but I didn't see him. I didn't see Louis or Zayn around either. You think he's talking to them now?"
Harry shrugged and let out a breath. "I honestly have no idea what's gonna happen or when."
I nodded. "I should have never told the coach that you guys knew about this."
"Then you'd just be lying about it, Niall, and I already told you last night, and even way before that I would talk for you if I had to." Liam told me, placing his hand on my shoulder and patting it. "It's probably not going to be so bad. All he can do is hear us out and let us go."
But it was going to be different for Louis and Zayn. Those were the two that I was going to be thinking about far more than Liam and Harry. I needed to come to terms within myself as to why, with everything these two had put me through that I didn't want to come around and ruin their lives. I knew they wouldn't feel grateful that ole Water Boy had come to their rescue, not that I really wanted to.
"Speaking of," Liam mumbled under his breath to the two of us and shaking his head when we both went to turn our heads around.
"Mr. Styles, Mr. Payne, I'd like to have a word with you two in my office. I'll write both of your teachers notes so they know you were late because you were with me." The coach stated before his eyes wandered over to me and I knew what it was all about before he even said anything.
Harry and Liam both turned to look at me next, before they agreed to go with the coach, my eyes now watching their retreating backs as they walked off to go tell him all the acts of degrading they have witnessed being placed onto me.