Chapter Forty Five
The feeling of someone shaking my shoulder pulls me out of my peaceful sleep. Still dazed, I rapidly blink my eyes open to see Archer leaning over the front seat of the car.
"Riley, we've arrived back at the hotel," he says.
"Okay." I nod my head.
Resting my head against the car door, my eyes drift to go back to sleep. But the seatbelt rubs against the side of my neck uncomfortable and I know I can't get go back to sleep, not now. I need to summon some strength and get to my comfortable bed.
I pick my mask up from the seat next to me and strap it back to my face. Only a couple more minutes until I can cuddle in my bed with the comfort of my pyjamas. Stretching my limbs out, I open the door and get out. Bright lights flash in my face and sting my sore eyes. All of these bright lights are enough to make me blind.
The bright lights shake the sleep from my body. Maybe I could have attended Ava's restaurant adventure. Maybe I wouldn't survive it. Little black dots appear in my vision which makes it harder to see, let alone walk anywhere.
"Sienna, look this way," someone shouts.
"Are you and Alex dating?"
"When are you going to take the mask off?" another person calls.
A shred of annoyance pulses through my veins – if I wanted to give those answers out, I'd probably have tweeted them by now. I can't be bothered with their silly questions so I lower my head and flick my hair in front of my face. I know I should be posing for photographs or saying something cryptic to make people more curious but I honestly can't be bothered.
Voices and flashes swirl around me as Archer and I move through the crowd. When we are inside the lobby, it's quieter, but you can still hear the hum of voices and the flashing of camera from behind.
"I'm never going to get used to that." I shake my head as I stare at the people pressed up against the windows.
"Do you know if Alex is back yet?" I ask Archer. Ava never returned back to the sign in room and so now I'm stuck without my phone. Just when I need it the most to flag down Alex, I'm stuck going to bed alone. I could really do with a friend to talk to right now!
"He's gone to make his appearance at the restaurant."
"I feel awful about not going," I confess.
"Means an early bed time so I'm not complaining." He shrugs his shoulders.
My mouth pops open, and he laughs at me. "Get yourself up to bed now, I have to get back to work," he commands.
"I'm moving, I'm moving," I call over my shoulder. Archer shakes his head disapprovingly and I just grin back at him. I hop into the first available elevator and press the button to my floor. Just as the doors are about to close, someone yells out.
"Hold the door," a male voice shouts. Looking up, I see a blonde teenager rushing towards me. I immediately stick my arm out to stop the moving doors, but I regret my action as soon as I recognise his face. Why does he always seem to appear when things are inconvenient?
"Thanks for holding the door," Nathan says as he walks in. He grabs a hold of the wooden railing on the side as he starts to regain his even breathing.
"You're welcome." I smile.
Once he's caught his breath, he turns around to face me. I try to angle myself away, but the mirrors surrounding us don't conceal anything.
"Hi, I'm Nathan." He puts out his hand for me to shake. Reluctantly, I turn around to face him. Taking his soft warm hand in mine, I shake his hand.
"It's nice to meet you! I'm-"
"Sienna, The Masked Singer," he finishes.
"Educated, that's a nice quality Jim," I say, pretending to forget his name.
"My father, the owner of the hotel has me working on the floor you're staying at. I'm almost like your personal waiter, I'm supposed to know these things," he explains. "And I'm friends with Alex. It's nice to be able to meet the girl he talks so much about," Nathan confesses.
"That's an awesome attitude to have," I say in an awkward whisper. It's weird hearing this come from Nathan's lips.
"I just, I can't believe I'm actually getting to talk to you! You're so..." he trails off.
"Famous?" I finish for him.
He shakes his head. "Incredible," he whispers.
"Thank you." I smile.
"I still can't believe this." He continues to shake his head in disbelief. All I can do is stand there awkwardly nodding my head at him. What else am I supposed to say to him? Thanks for the compliment, please don't figure out it's me Riley. If anyone can guess it – it'll be him.
The elevator stops and the doors ping open. "This is my stop." Stepping out of the elevator, I turn to face him. "It was nice meeting you." The doors begin to close and he stops them.
"No, thank you! It's finally nice to meet you." Taking a step back, I move to walk away but something keeps me from moving. Without hesitation I ask, "Do you want to hang out now?"
His eyes go wide in shock. "Are you serious?"
"Yes, but only if you stop fan girling, it's weird." His happy face immediately drops into a blank facial expression.
"Understood!" He nods his head. Before he can get sucked back into the elevator, he jumps out and we start walking down the hall. Not even two steps later I glance at his face and I see a gigantic bright smile on his face.
"How long did it take for you to get over Alex?" I ask.
"A few weeks tops and I made him sing me a couple of songs," he confesses.
"Now I know what I need to do to shake this fan girl mood you have." I laugh.
"I'll be good, I promise." He gives me a genuine friendly smile and it makes me smile wider in return.
"Good because I really need a friend." We get to the end of the hall and I pull out my hotel key and unlock the door for us.
The lamp by the couch is already switched on so we aren't walking into a dark room. Nathan stands in the middle of the room awkwardly while I walk past him and flop onto the couch.
"I'm so tired." I yawn. I flick off my shoes and wiggle my butt around so that I can get comfortable. I put my feet up on the coffee table and cuddle the cushion next to me.
"I bet," he says.
"It was okay to begin with, I was only her for a brief moment. Now I'm not sure who I am," I whisper. From the corner of my eye, I see him walk around the side of the couch and take a seat.
"Then why do you wear the mask?" Nathan whispers. I look up at the wall and then back over to his curious gaze. Something about those eyes makes my heart melt.
"Because," I reply with a simple shrug of my shoulders.
"Is there something you're hiding?" he asks, inching closer to me.
My breath gets caught in my throat, "No." I shake my head. "I wear this mask to show the world, anything is possible. They can have this," I explain.
"Can have what?" His eyebrow slides up into an amusing expression on his face.
"They can have their wildest dreams."
"And what does that have to do with wearing a mask, Sienna?" His eyes shine with curiosity as my heart pounds away in my chest.
"Nothing when you put it like that." Getting up, I walk away from him and into my bedroom.
"I believe that everyone is in charge of their own happiness." When I don't say anything, he continues, "Be the change you want to see, stop waiting for someone else to do it."
I turn my head to look over my shoulder. "You're awfully blunt for a staff member," I say.
"I'm honest." He shrugs his shoulders.
I spin my body to directly face him. With one eyebrow raised up, I ask, "You don't you think I'm an honest person?"
"I think you lie a lot. To yourself, to Alex."
I take two steps towards him and put my hands on my hips. "I don't lie to Alex!" I snap.
"You're leading a man on who only knows one half of you, who are you?" he says in a strong powerful voice. His words send chills pulsing down my back. After everything he's said the same three words swirl around in my head.
"I don't know who I am," I whisper. My voice sounds so weak, so broken. I can hardly recognise it myself. "I don't know." I shake my head.
"Take the mask off," Nathan urges.
"I can't." I let my head drop as I stare at the ground. I see him close the gap between up. But what I don't anticipate is him grabbing my chin and lifting my face up.
I feel like his blue eyes are searching, just like what Alex did. But this time, my heart isn't pounding away in my chest because I'm scared. I feel excited. I feel like there is electricity flowing through the air around us.
"Why do you look so familiar? I feel like I've gazed into these gorgeous eyes once before." His warm hands slide from my face and down to my shoulders and then further down my arms.
"I don't know why, should I?" I question him.
"Maybe I should find out?" He raises an eyebrow; a small smile appears on his face.
I bite my lip nervously as his arms wrap around my neck. With one hand, he grabs at the ribbon holding my mask on. I can feel him gently tugging on it. As the mask becomes loose around my face, my heart beat continues to pound away in my chest. It's almost like it's about to explode or even jump free.
Once the ribbon is untangled, the mask hangs loose on my face. At any moment, it could be all over.
"Who are you?" he whispers, his warm breath fanning across my face.
"Nobody interesting, that's who."
Nathan's fingers delicately wind around the ribbon dangling along the side of my face. As his finger twirls around it, the ribbon gets shorter and it inches the mask across the side of my face.
"Don't be afraid to show people who you are," he whispers.
"I, I just -"
"Be the change." My heart continues to race away in my chest as his face draws closer to mine. I keep my eyes trained on his face as I try to ignore the feeling of the rough fabric sliding across.
Closing my eyes, I focus on trying to calm my bounding heartbeat. I try to use this concealed darkness to try and block out what's currently happening, but the ever so quiet sound of his breathing reminds me that whatever happens next is going to change things forever, and there's certainly no going back.
"I think it's time you leave." I hold the mask against my face as I break away from his grip. With my back faced to him, I secure the mask back to my face.
"But -" I wave my hand in the air, cutting him off.
"You really shouldn't be here either." The small light seeping into the room is just enough for me to see Nathan's head drop down.
"If that's how you feel." He shrugs his shoulder.
Nathan awkwardly scratches the back of his neck as he takes a step back. I fasten the mask on my face and push past Nathan. Opening the front door, Nathan walks out. He stands in the hallway looking at me - his blue eyes clinging to my face with a somewhat hopeful spark floating around.
If I keep staring at him, I'll break down completely. I can't break down, I need to be strong, I need this mask.
"I can't," I whisper.
Slamming the door shut, I lock it. I spin around and press my back up against the door. My knees begin to shake as they battle to keep me upright. Slowly, I begin to slide down the door and onto the ground.
I curl my legs up to my chest and press my face into them. The material of the mask presses against my skin, physically reminding me I'm still stuck in the same place. I can't continue on like this, I can't be two girls. I'm going to have to choose.
Do I want to be the quiet girl who sits in the back of the room and fades into the halls at school or the girl who lights up the room, the one who is always seen in a crowd full of faces? While I create this idea of being confident and possibilities for a mask. I'm creating an identity for a mask anyone can play. Or I could chose to be happy.
pU