*AN: I'm so so sorry for not updating for so long but I had writers block and I went on vacation (twice) and really didn't have time to write.
I wanted this chapter to be perfect and I see some of you really like this story and I hate I wasn't able to have it up sooner. But here it is now so I hope you enjoy.
~Cam
*Avery's POV*
A while ago, I was pretty convinced that I had cherophobia because I didn't deserve to be. But could you really blame me? Anything that made me happy was taken away from me, like my mum. I thought I didn't deserve to be happy so I avoided people or situations that would cause some sense of joy in me in fear that they'd be taken away.
But now I've learned to embrace it. Sure, there are times that aren't the best but it's all about the times that make life worthwhile. Like being with Luke, I couldn't be happier. I can't even describe what I'm feeling right now. I'm lying next to the love of my life after a magical night together.
I thought I needed someone to be the sun to lighten up my life. And I thought Ashton was my sun because I saw him as this ball of sunshine. But it didn't work out because we didn't connect and he didn't know all of me. He only saw the Avery I allowed everyone to see, not the dark Avery that sat in a corner crying and wondering why she was even given the opportunity to live.
Things are so much different with Luke. We can talk for hours and never get bored. We know what the other is thinking, their likes and dislikes, and secrets that haven't been revealed to anyone else. He knows more about my dark life than anyone else because I love and trust him with any and everything.
Like I said before, I thought I needed someone to be the sun to lighten up my life. But really, I needed someone to be the moon to brighten up my darkest hour and Luke is my moon.
Things are good for me right now and as long as I'm with him, I know it'll continue to stay that way.
It was a little after eight in the morning when I woke up. I tend to sleep in but I loved watching him sleep. His mouth would be open slightly and cute little snores would escape. He looked so calm while he slept and I could've laid here and watched him for hours.
But unfortunately, the sound of a door opening ruined that possibility.
I sat up, bringing the covers up with me to cover myself as I listened harder, making sure I actually heard what I heard and it wasn't in my head. Sure enough, I heard the door slam shut and I knew my father would be upstairs any minute and I don't think he'd like to see my boyfriend sleeping naked in my bed.
"Luke!" I whispered loudly, shaking him. "Luke!" He only stirred slightly and I groaned, taking my pillow and hitting him in the face. "Get your ass up!"
"What?" He yawned, his eyes remaining closed.
"My dad is home and you need to leave." I rushed, leaning over the side of my bed to pick up my bra and put it on.
His eyes shot open and he sat up. "Are you fucking serious?"
"Is this something I'd joke about?" I asked, pulling my underwear up my legs.
He scrambled out of bed, grabbing his boxers and I heard my dad's footsteps getting louder. He must've been pretty hung over because it sounded like his feet were dragging and that was a pretty good sign.
"You don't have time to get dressed." I whispered as I went around to quickly gather his clothes and shoes.
"You want me to go outside like this?" He asked, raising his arms to show he's only wearing boxers.
"You're gonna have to." I said as I opened my window and threw his clothes out. I ushered him towards the window and he climbed out onto the tree limb. I quickly closed it and pulled my curtains shut, hopping into bed and pulling the covers all the way up right after.
I slowed my breathing and closed my eyes before my door swung open.
"Get your ugly ass up, you've got work to do." My dad said.
I opened my eyes as if he had just woke me up and faked a yawn. "Okay." He closed my door and I heard tapping on my window.
I got up and strode over, pulling back the curtain to reveal a half-naked Luke still in the tree.
"What are you still doing here?" I asked after opening the window.
"I left my phone." He chuckled. "It should be on the nightstand."
I turned and there it was, right by my lamp. I went over to get it for him and brought it back over.
"You should go before anyone sees you." I chuckled. "I'll talk to you later."
"Okay." He nodded. "I love you."
"I love you too, idiot." I smiled and leaned over the window sill to peck his lips. I watched as he began to descend the tree before closing my window and getting dressed to do whatever the hell my dad had up his sleeve.
-
After hours of grueling labor and cruel words being thrown at me, I finally got time to myself.
I went up to my room and plopped onto my bed with my arms outstretched. My feet hurt and my entire body was worn out. I swear my dad just comes up with things for me to do just so I'm miserable. I could've been spending the day with Luke or my friends but instead I was stuck at home cleaning.
I grabbed my phone and plugged my earphones in. I unlocked it and pulled up the FaceTime app to call Luke. I haven't seen him since I rushed him out my window early this morning and I missed his face.
"Hey, baby." He smiled as soon as his face appeared on my screen. I love it when he calls me that.
"Hey." I smiled, rolling over so that I was more comfortable.
"How was your day?" He asked.
"I spent my time doing anything my dad could think of to make me miserable. But before you ask, he didn't hurt me, physically at least."
He sighed. "I'm sorry."
"You know you have nothing to apologize for, Luke, you can't do anything about it. Besides, I'm used to it." I shrugged. I hear it on an everyday basis but it does still hurt.
"I wish I could take you away from there. You could live with me and we'd have sleepovers every night." He smiled.
"I'd love that." I chuckled.
"Wanna sneak out and have some fun?" He asked, a devilish grin spreading across his face.
"Not really, I'm pretty worn out, sorry." I wasn't tired to where I was gonna fall asleep any minute, I just didn't feel like doing anything.
"I understand, I'm sure you've been working hard today to please that no-good-for-nothing piece of shit."
I laughed. "You have no idea."
"But really, you don't deserve any of this." He slid out of bed and began to walk out of his room. "You've done nothing wrong and he uses you as his personal punching bag. Why can't you just call the authorities?" He asked.
"Don't you think I've tried? When this first began, I called them and he walked in on me. He threatened me and when they arrived, I was forced to tell them that I was playing some stupid prank and they gave me a lecture on how this is serious business and I shouldn't play games like that. After they left, he beat the shit out of me and I never dared to do it again." I could feel tears coming on and I leaned back and blinked a few times so they wouldn't fall.
"Babe..." I could tell he didn't know what to say and I understand why he wouldn't. I was a little girl and that was one of the worst beatings of my life. "We could always go with my suggestion."
"Which was?" I asked.
"We could run away and start a new life together, just you and me." He smiled to lighten the mood.
"I couldn't ask you to do that." I know how much his family means to him and I'd feel terrible for taking him away from them.
"It's my decision and I'd do whatever it takes to keep you safe."
I smiled. This boy would honestly go to the ends of the Earth for me. No matter what, he'd be there for me and do whatever for me and I can't help but fall deeper in love with him. No one's ever said the stuff he says to me and no one's ever made me feel this special.
"You're so good to me." I said after a minute of staring at him as he looked for food in the fridge.
"I'm just trying to show you the love you've been denied for too long." He smiled.
I wanted to reply to his statement but I heard my name being called and I groaned.
"Don't tell me."
"I've got to go, we'll talk later." I said, getting up as my dad called my name for a second time.
"Goodnight." He said.
"Goodnight." I quickly hung up, throwing my phone on my bed and sped out of the room before my dad got too upset. What can't he ever just leave me alone?
-
He worked me to the bone all weekend. Other than the few minutes I FaceTimed Luke Saturday night, I hadn't seen or talked to him. I don't want to sound clingy or anything but I missed him. I missed his voice, his smile, his little dimple- everything. I know it was only two days and I sound whiny but love does crazy things to you. It's almost like I can't function without having some sort of contact with him.
"I'm so sorry about this weekend. I was really hoping we could have done something together but my dad obviously had other plans." I rushed as soon as I closed the door.
"It's okay, really. I know how he can be sometimes." He leaned over and kissed my cheek. "As long as he didn't hurt you, it's fine."
I nodded and sat back. He pulled out of my driveway and headed to school.
When we arrived, we got out and headed inside hand in hand. I spotted Ashton a little ways down the hall and my grip on Luke's hand tightened. It's not like I'm afraid of Ash or anything, just seeing him brought back the memories of that night and they still hurt me a little. Now that I think about it, I haven't actually forgiven him. When we spoke after the incident, things didn't go well.
"Things are okay now." Luke said to me in a soothing voice, obviously reading my thoughts.
"They may be for you," I mumbled, "but me and Ash still aren't on the best of terms."
"Are you ready to forgive him and move on?" He asked.
"I think so." I nodded. "But will he want to talk to me or treat me like he did before?"
"I can guarantee you he won't, he's changed since then."
"Funny, I was the one telling you before that he wasn't this asshole you were making him out to be." I chuckled.
He chuckled. "I'm not gonna force you to do something you're not ready to do, but he's not the same guy that he was."
I nodded and kissed his cheek. "I'll do it now, then. See you later."
"Later, babe." He pecked my lips and walked off. I took a deep breath before approaching Ashton.
"Hey." I breathed.
"Hey, Avery." He smiled and ran his fingers through his hair. "What's up?"
"Not much, really, you?"
"Same." He nodded.
I nodded and we fell silent. Even when we're not dating we can't communicate.
"Look," he began, breaking the silence, "I want to apologize for being the world's worst boyfriend to you. If I could turn back time and do it all over again I would because you deserved better."
"I forgive you. Besides, if you hadn't been the way you were, I might not be with Luke right now." I chuckled.
"But there were some things I could've done differently." He leaned against the lockers beside him.
"And since we're apologizing, I'm sorry for pouring that wine all over you." I could feel my face get a little hot.
"Don't be," he chuckled and shook his head, "I was a dick and I deserved it."
I laughed. "So, friends?"
He nodded. "Friends." He opened his arms and I stepped forward to hug him. His arms snaked around my body and held me close, his head resting on top of mine as my face was against his chest.
"How about I walk you to class?" He asked as he pulled away. "That's something I should've done when we were together."
"I'd like that." I nodded.
We made our way to my first period and for the first time ever, we had a full conversation as we did. It'd usually fall flat and it'd feel a bit awkward but we were actually going back and forth. It was nice to not drift into silence for a change. I can already tell we're gonna make better friends than we ever did a couple.
"I'll see you at lunch." He smiled before walking to his own class.
I watched him leave before going into my classroom and sitting down.
He and I finally patched things up and nothing could be better. I've got another friend, I'm with the love of my life- this is the highest point I've ever been at in my life. As long as things stay this way, I don't see any reason for me to be depressed. Things are working out for me and I'm good with that.
-
"Does this mean all the drama is done then?" Dylan asked after I finished telling him what went down between me and Ash.
"I don't think you can really call that drama but yeah, it's done." I replied. There was about five minutes left in class and the teacher was letting us just sit and talk until the bell rang. For once she wasn't being a bitch; this really must be my lucky day.
"So no lingering feelings, no butterflies in your stomach?"
I shook my head. "Nothing. We definitely make better friends than we ever did a couple."
The bell rang and we picked up our bags, slinging them over our shoulder as we left the room to head to lunch.
"And Luke's okay with this?" He asked. "'Cause the last time someone got close with an ex, things went downhill."
"He's the one that convinced me to forgive him." I chuckled. "And besides, Luke and Ash made up a few days ago."
He nodded. "Well I'm happy for you."
"Thanks." I smiled.
We approached the cafeteria and I was greeted by a smiling Luke.
"I'll see you later." Dylan nudged me before he walked inside.
"Hey." I breathed as I stepped closer to Luke and pecked his lips.
"Hey." He smiled, opening the door and letting me walk in before him. "I'll go ahead and grab our lunch and you can get us a table."
"Alright." I nodded before leaving him and went to sit down.
I took my phone out to check my notifications which, let's be real, I didn't have many but I wanted to look busy so I didn't look lonely.
"Mind if I sit here?" I looked up to see Ash standing on the other side of the table with his tray.
"Of course not." I moved my bag to the side and he sat in front of me. "So how's it going?" I asked.
"Great." He nodded. "I heard Mr. Hilton left his second period because of some emergency and there wasn't any time to get a substitute."
"That's awesome! Well not the whole emergency part but that means no chemistry."
"So could I maybe hang out with you and Luke? Or if it'd be too weird it's fine, we could take things slow-"
"That sounds like fun, Ash." I chuckled.
"What sounds like fun?" Luke asked as he sat down beside me.
"Chemistry is canceled so we were trying to figure out what to do during that time." I replied, opening the bottle of juice he bought me.
He nodded and looked at Ash. "Cool, I'm in."
As lunch carried on, I couldn't help but admire Luke and Ashton's interaction. They were acting as though they hadn't hated each other over the last few weeks and seeing them laughing together was truly a beautiful sight. It really makes me happy that we're all friends again.
I leaned into Luke and put my arm around his waist and he rested his hand on my thigh, shooting me a quick smile before returning to his conversation. I didn't mind just sitting here as they caught up. I was enjoying watching them talk and laugh.
Once lunch ended, we gathered our things before exiting the cafeteria.
"We'll meet you in the student parking lot after third period." I smiled at Ash.
"Cool," he nodded, "see you two then." He gave us a small wave before heading the other way.
"You two are cute together." I stated as we began to walk to my class.
"To be honest, I did miss talking to him." He shrugged. "And I'm glad you forgave him."
"So am I." I smiled, wrapping my arms around him as we walked.
-
"I had a lot of fun." Ashton smiled as we left the pizza parlor. After third period, we met up with him like I said we would and we went to this laser tag place. After that, we went for pizza, which we just finished up with.
"Same here." I nodded, Luke agreeing with me.
"We'll see you later, mate."
"See you guys later." Ash smiled as he got into his car. We saw him off before going to get into Luke's car and leaving.
When we got to my house, he parked his car in the driveway and walked me inside.
"Thanks for-" I stopped mid sentence as my dad stumbled into view. He was home earlier than he should be.
"Oh look, you're finally home." He slurred.
I grabbed Luke's wrist before he could do anything.
"I-I'm sorry. I was just out with some friends." I gulped.
"Just out with some friends." He repeated. "You can go ahead and let your "friend" go home."
"Actually," Luke spoke up, "we were gonna do some-"
"Go home, Lance." Me dad said, his tone much sterner.
"It's Luke." He said through gritted teeth. I tugged on his wrist to lead him to the door before he could do anything to make the situation worse.
"Leave with me." He mumbled when I opened the door.
"I can't." I shook my head. I needed him to leave before my dad thinks something's going on.
"He's drunk off his ass, Avery, and he could hurt you." He placed his hands on the sides of my face and I brought them down so my dad wouldn't see.
"I know you're concerned but he'll get upset if I don't get inside. I'll call you later to assure you everything's okay, alright?"
He sighed and nodded. "Okay. I lo-"
I placed my finger on his lips to stop him from talking. My dad already doesn't like the fact that Luke and I are "friends". He definitely won't like it if he finds out we're more than that.
"I know." I rushed, closing the door and locking it. I walked through the foyer with my head down to avoid him as I tried to make it to the staircase.
I didn't get very far, though, 'cause he grabbed my arm and slung me against the wall, grabbing my jaw and forcing me to look at him. He didn't say anything for a few moments, he just studied my face.
"You really do look like your mother." He said in a low voice.
I stayed silent, not really knowing what to say.
"The two of you are alike in many ways." He continued. "Looks, personality, and you both thought you could sneak around and I not find out." He let out a cold chuckle.
What did he even mean? Did my mum cheat on him at some point before she died and that caused him to become the monster he is?
Of course she didn't. I only knew her for a short amount of time but I know she'd never do anything like that. As hard as it is to believe, she loved him.
"My mum would never cheat on you." I managed to say with the tight grip he still had on my face.
"Who said anything about cheating? She tried to leave me, multiple times. Of course, I couldn't allow that to happen so I had to show her that she'd never be able to leave. But as you see, she found a way, through death."
"How could you be so insensitive? She tried to fight the cancer as long as she could. Do you think she chose to die?" I asked angrily.
He stared at me for a few seconds. "I guess you're old enough to know now." He shrugged.
"Old enough to know what?" He's not making any sense. But then again, he is drunk off his ass.
"Your mum didn't die of cancer, she killed herself." He stated.
That statement felt like a blow to the gut. I couldn't seem to breathe and I was gasping for air.
She killed herself? She couldn't have done that- she wouldn't have done that. And why was it hidden from me all these years? I should've known the truth from the start and not from a drunken rant.
"I don't believe you." I mumbled.
"Awe, is the little baby sad because she learned the truth about her selfish mother?" I bit my lip to refrain from saying anything. "Well believe it 'cause it's true."
He sounds like he doesn't even care and that's what made me even more upset.
Instead of screaming everything that was going through my mind, I spat at him to show my anger. He took his other hand and wiped it away before pushing me and making me fall to the floor. I scrambled to get back up but he kicked me in my stomach and I collapsed in pain.
"Your mum thought she could get away too." He chuckled as he picked me up by my hair and slung me against the opposite wall. "The only way she could leave me was by killing herself, that weak bitch."
I was able to sit myself up against the wall and grab a vase of flowers on a small table and hit him in the face with it. He yelled in pain and I took the opportunity to get up and make my way to the stairs as fast as I could. Unfortunately my plan didn't work out too well because I felt his arms wrap around my waist and pull me back.
His anger grew and there was nothing else I could do to defend myself because I was in too much pain. I just took every slap in the face and kick to the side until he eventually tired himself out.
I stayed a mess on the floor while he grabbed his keys and walked to the kitchen and through the door leading to the garage. I heard the door go up and a car start, the sound soon fading and the door going back down.
It caused immense pain, but I managed to pick myself up and limp to the stairs to go to my room.
Maybe he's right, my mum and I are alike. She gave up just like I've wanted to do so many times before. I don't blame her at all because I understand. She was pushed into a corner and felt like she had nowhere else to go. I don't see her as being weak for doing it. I've always thought she was a strong woman so if anything, he broke her. He degraded her and abused her until she wasn't the woman she used to be. She couldn't take it anymore and I don't blame her, I'm at that point as well.
When I finally reached my room, I collapsed onto my bed and began to cry. My entire body hurt so much and the fact that the cause of my mother's death has been a lie finally hit me and made me cry even more.
I searched my pockets for my phone, which was surprisingly still where I put it, and called Luke. He was right. My dad was obviously in a terrible state and I should've went with him when I had the chance.
"Hello?" He asked after the second ring.
"Luke..." I cried.
"I'm on my way." I heard a bit of shuffling in the background. "Please don't hurt yourself, baby. I'll be there soon." He hung up and I did the same.
I tossed my phone to the side and continued to ball my eyes out. This is it for me; I can't do it anymore. I can't deal with his beatings or his cruel words any longer. I've gotta get out and it's either with Luke or through death.
"Avery! Avery!" I heard my name being yelled. As quickly as my body would allow, I got up from my bed and went to my window to see Luke already ascending the tree.
I backed away from the window so he could crawl in and he enveloped me in his arms, making me wince in pain.
"I'm sorry." He said, letting go of me.
"You have nothing to be sorry for. None of this is your fault." I went over to sit on my bed because it hurt to stand for too long.
"But I feel like it is!" He combed through his hair with his fingers. "He was obviously shitfaced and I should've forced you to leave with me. All of this could've been avoided." He knelt in front of me and placed his hands on my waist. "I hate seeing you like this."
We were both silent, not really knowing what to say. He's seen me bruised up too many times and it breaks my heart to see him so upset.
"I can't take it anymore." I said, my voice close to a whisper.
"What did you say?" He asked.
I cleared my throat. "I can't take it anymore." I said a bit louder, my voice still a bit shaky. "I've gotta get out of here."
"You mean it? We can leave together?" His tone was hopeful.
"Are you sure this is what you want? You'd wanna run away too?" I searched his eyes for any sense of panic or regret. I wouldn't be upset if he changed his mind and wanted to stay here. It'd probably be best for him anyway. He has much more to lose than I do.
He cupped my face and I leaned into his touch, the simple action seeming to calm my nerves a bit.
"All I really want is you." He smiled.
I opened my arms as wide as I could to hug him. This is it, we're actually going through with this. We're running off together to make a better life for ourselves.
"Let's go right now." He said excitedly as he helped me to my feet.
"Luke," I chuckled, "we can't leave right this second. We've got to pack, make sure we have enough cash, and figure out where we're gonna go." I pointed out.
"I guess you're right. Well, I could withdraw all the money from my account."
"I've got a little stashed away and my dad has a safe in his room I could break into." Never in a million years would I have thought I'd ever say those words.
"When do you want to leave?" He asked.
"Maybe early in the morning? Who knows if or when my dad will come back and he'll most likely be drunk when he does. We'll have enough time to get everything ready."
He nodded and got up from the floor to sit next to me. I laid my head on his shoulder and he was reluctant to put his arm around me.
"Do you need anything for the pain? A hot towel? An ice pack?" He asked.
"Something hot would be nice." I replied. He got up and left my room. Soon, the sound of water running flooded my ears and I wanted to get up to see what he was doing, but decided to stay put due to the pain from my legs.
He reappeared a few minutes later. "Need some help?" He asked.
I nodded, reaching out my hand and expecting him to grab it and help me on my feet. Instead, he lifted me off my bed, bridal style, and carried me to my bathroom and sat me on the covered toilet. He had drawn me a bubble bath and lit a few candles, the sight making me forget all about the pain I was in.
"I even threw in some bath pearls." He smiled.
"You're such the romantic." I smiled. "It's beautiful."
"Do you need me to help you undress?" He smirked.
"You'd like that, wouldn't you?" I chuckled, lifting my arms as high as I could so he could get my shirt off. Once he did, his face fell at the sight of my abdomen that was filled with bruises from my dad's shoe. "Hey," I lifted his face to look me in the eye, "you won't have to worry about this anymore, okay?"
He nodded and I placed a kiss on his lips to calm him a little. He pulled away and rested our foreheads against each other.
"I will never hurt you like that." He said.
"I know." I nodded, giving him a small smile.
He helped me get the rest of my clothes off and then lifted me off the seat and lowered me into the tub. The hot water was relaxing and it soothed my pain.
He left and soon returned with my phone, unlocking it and putting on some music.
"You really know how to treat a girl, Robert." I chuckled. He sat on the edge of the tub and scooped up some bubbles, putting them in my hair. "Will you be joining me?"
"As tempting as that sounds, I need to get home and start packing. Plus, my mum looked super worried when I rushed out of the house earlier so I need to go calm her down before she does something crazy." He chuckled.
"Okay," I nodded, "I'll see you tomorrow."
"See you tomorrow, love." He leaned down to kiss me and I took this opportunity to put bubbles in his hair. "You're such a kid." He laughed, swiping them away.
"You started it." I said in a childish tone.
"Later, baby." He smiled, getting up and exiting the bathroom, closing the door behind him.
I settled myself into the tub and let the hot water work it's magic.
Tomorrow is really gonna be a big day. I've practically dreamed of this moment for years and now that it's here, I'm really gonna miss a few people. Of course if I had ran away earlier, I'd only be missing Dylan and he's a large part of my life, but now I'll be missing Cal, Ash, and Mike. We haven't been friends for that long but they're special to me and I'm gonna miss them a lot.
But I know Luke will be leaving behind a lot more than I am. He's not only leaving his best friends, who he's known for years, but a mum and dad who love him dearly and two insanely hot brothers. He's leaving his great life here for me and it's an incredibly kind gesture but I still feel a little bad. They'll never see us again and not even know why we left in the first place. If I tell them goodbye to their face it'll be harder for me to leave 'cause they'll try to hold me back and I can't do that. If I stay any longer, things will just get worse and worse for me and I don't wanna stick around to experience that pain. But I will admit, they do deserve to know. I should at least give them an explanation as to why we're doing this, that it's my fault, and why it's the best for me.
After sitting in the tub for a while, I got up and climbed out, grabbing my towel from the hook and wrapping it around my wet body. I let out the water and grabbed my phone. I was still a bit sore but the hot water did help a little.
I went into my room, dried off, and put on a pair of cotton shorts and one of Luke's shirts I swiped from the trunk of his car one day.
I sat at my desk and grabbed a pen from my pen holder and a sheet of paper from the corner and made out the first letter to Dylan. I've decided writing them each a letter would be the easiest way to say goodbye. They should at least know why I had to leave.
I wrote out everything, leaving out the new bit of information I had just learned because I'm still trying to sort that out myself. I wrote about how my dad abused me all of these years, the mental health issues I've been dealing with, the self harm- everything. I then began to write about how Luke would be going with me and that I didn't really ask him to, he volunteered himself. I felt he should at least know that I wasn't dragging someone else from their home because of selfish reasons. I added a few lines about how none of this is his fault and that there was nothing he could've done to prevent it. I wrote a few personal things for him to end the letter on a slight positive note before signing my name at the bottom and folding it up to be put into an envelope.
I followed that outline for Calum, Ashton, and Michael's letters. I even wrote one to his family, just as a whole though since I don't really know each member that well individually. I spent a majority of their letter apologizing for taking their son/brother away from them and how I tried to get him to stay.
After spending about two hours writing, I was finally done. I went downstairs to the office my dad rarely uses and grabbed five envelopes; one for each letter. I took them back to my room and put the letters inside, sealing them and labeling them with their proper addressee's name.
I stacked the sealed letters on my desk and went to the closet in the hallway to grab a duffel bag for me to store my things in. I returned to my room and began stuffing it with all the clothes I could fit in it. I put my laptop in the laptop bag along with the charger.
After that, I headed to my father's room. He has this small safe on a shelf and I can easily get into it. I'm not one for thievery but with all he's done to me for years, he deserves this. Plus, Luke and I are gonna need some money if we're gonna be on the road.
I typed in the four-digit code and the little light turned green and I was able to open the door. There were a few stacks of money and I took them all before closing the door and going back into my room. I stuck the money in my bag and laid back, feeling exhausted.
I rolled over to grab my phone and send Luke a text when my phone lit up with one from him.
Luke: Goodnight, baby. I love you.
His simple text was enough to make my heart flutter. I didn't need an entire paragraph, just him thinking of me enough to send this was all I needed.
Me: I'll see you in the morning. I love you too.
I sent my text and hooked my phone up to the charger. I covered myself up and turned on my side to look out the window at the full moon. This is my last night in this bed, in this house, in this town. There's no turning back now.
-
"Good morning." He kissed me before stepping inside. "I'm guessing he's not home."
"Nope," I shook my head, closing the door, "And I want to get out of here before he comes back."
"Where's your stuff?"
"In my room."
He nodded and left to grab my bag and laptop. I went over to the mantel over the fireplace to look at the pictures there one more time. I wasn't able to view my mother's face the way I used to. I thought she was genuinely happy and was taken away by some evil force but she was actually faking it the entire time and the evil force was what drove her to end it all. I used to think my dad was a good man before my mum died but that's not the case either. He was just as terrible then as he is now.
I picked up a photo of Dylan and I that was taken a long time ago. It was one of my favorites because it was taken right after I kissed him and he had the most disgusted look on his face and I found it to be hilarious. I'm really gonna miss him, he's always been there for me. I really hope the letter explains it all because it'll be impossible for me to say it to his face.
I then moved to one of just me and my mum on my seventh birthday. I took the picture down to examine it closer. The look in her eyes didn't seem totally happy to me anymore, but dead and afraid. I knew it wasn't because of me but I still feel at fault in a way. I should've noticed that my mum wasn't happy and maybe I could've done something to help if I had.
Luke cleared his throat, causing me to jump a little.
"God, Luke!" I laughed.
"Sorry, I didn't mean to startle you." He chuckled. "I've got your stuff."
"I'm ready." I smiled, grabbing the two pictures from the mantle and making my way over to him. "Let's go."
We walked out of that house for the last time and headed to his car. I climbed into the passenger seat as he slid my bag across the backseat and my laptop bag on top of it. I strapped myself in and noticed some envelopes sticking out of a cup holder. I smiled at him as his door opened and closed.
"What?" He chuckled.
I pointed to the envelopes. "You wrote letters?"
"Yeah," he nodded, blushing a little and picking them up to hand them to me, "I wanted to give them an explanation and goodbye."
I looked at each name. "You even wrote one to Dylan?" I laugh, holding it up.
"Yeah, well, he kind of grew on me." He chuckled, turning the car on.
"I wrote some too." I nodded, motioning to my bag.
"Ready to deliver them?" He asked.
"Let's do it."
I gave him the directions to Dylan's house since it was the closest. I grabbed mine out of the bag when we pulled up in front of his place and Luke stuck our letters in the mailbox. After that, we went to Calum's house, Michael's house, and then Ashton's place, dropping off our letters and moving on.
"I even wrote one to your family." I stated as we left Ashton's house. "Not to each member individually, of course, but to them as a whole." I combed through my hair with my fingers. "It's kind of my fault that you're leaving in the first place."
"Nothing's you're fault." He glanced at me and then back at the road. "It was my decision to run off with you. I couldn't stand letting you leave and never being able to see you again."
"But you'll probably never see your family again." I pointed out. "You can go home, Luke, I mean it." He stopped at a red light. I don't want you to feel like you have to do this."
He grabbed my face and pulled me into a kiss, calming my nerves. I placed my hand on top of one of his as he pulled away, keeping our faces close.
"I'd never let you leave without me. It's me and you against the world, remember? I love you."
I smiled. "I love you too."
"As long as I'm with you, it doesn't matter where I am. Will I miss my family? Of course. But I'll be with you and that's all that matters."
I nodded. "Thank you."
He smiled. "I'd do anything for you, you should know that."
"I do." We gazed into each other's eyes before we were startled by a car horn. We turned to see that the light had changed colors and Luke quickly began driving again, not letting go of my hand.
He's such an amazing guy; he does so much for me. How many people would be willing to run off with their love and most likely never see their friends and family again? Not many and seeing that he can make huge sacrifices like this just gives me more reason to believe that he's the one for me.
I believe we're soulmates because we go so well together. He's always telling me how much he loves me and that he will forever. I know that's something a lot of guys say to make the girl feel good but with him it's different. I don't know how to explain it but I can feel the truth behind his words. I know for a fact it'll be me and him forever, as cheesy as that sounds. We've been through a lot and still managed to come out on top. There's definitely no one else I'd rather go through this with than him.
-
We drove around town a bit, getting food and just spending some time out before we left this place for good. No ones called or texted yet so I'm assuming they haven't read the letters. I haven't gotten anything from my dad yet so he's either not home or too hungover to care where I am.
"Stop right here." I said, pointing at the small florist shop.
He pulled over and parked. "What are flowers for?" He asked.
I unbuckled my seatbelt and reached into my bag in the back to pull out some money. "For my mum." I replied, getting out and heading inside. It's only right that I visit her this last time since I'll never see her grave again.
I bought a dozen white roses, since they were her favorite, and walked back out to the car, getting in.
"Cemetery?" He asked.
I nodded, giving him the name of her final resting place and staring out the window once we got moving again. When we got there, we both got out and he came around to hold my hand as I held the flowers in my other and began the journey to her grave.
I wanted to talk to her and let her know that I still love her as she is. What my dad told me doesn't change how I feel because I understand why she did it, I've wanted to do the same thing. I know it's crazy, me talking to her grave as if she can hear me, but it gives me a sense of closure.
We approached her and I sat down next to her headstone, laying the flowers at the base of it.
"H-Hey, mum." I smiled a half smile to lighten the mood a bit. "I miss you, a lot." I felt tears form in my eyes. "I don't blame you at all for what you did. Most people would think that was an awful thing for a parent to do but I understand why you felt the need to do it. I've wanted to do the same thing many times before." I sniffed. I felt Luke put his hand on my shoulder, rubbing it. "But I found someone that gave me a reason to stay." I looked up at the love of my life and smiled. I turned back to her headstone, caressing it as if I was rubbing her back. "I love you, mum, and I always will." I stood up and wiped the tears away and took a deep breath.
"Ready?" He asked after a few moments of silence.
"Ready." I nodded, leaning down to kiss the top of the headstone before leading the way back to the car.
We got to it and got in, pulling off and making our way towards the exit.
"If you don't mind me asking, what exactly happened?" He asked.
"Uh, my mum didn't actually die of cancer like I was told she did. She committed suicide." I looked out the window as we passed the graves on our way out.
"Why?" He asked.
"Because my father ruins everything!" I snapped. "I thought he lost it after she died and then became this monster but he was this way all along! He abused her and broke her until she couldn't take it anymore. She tried to leave multiple times but he always punished her for it and killing herself was the only way out." I rubbed my face. "I shouldn't have yelled at you like that, I'm sorry."
"You have nothing to apologize for." He said, taking a hand off the steering wheel to place on my thigh. "I can see why you'd be upset."
"It's not like I'm upset that she did it, though. I just...I feel guilty in a way." I shrugged.
"Why guilty?" He asked.
"Because if I had just noticed that she wasn't truly being herself, maybe I could've helped her. But I didn't recognize her pain and it's my fault she's gone." I could feel myself begin to cry again and I did my best to hold back the tears.
"You were seven, love, there's nothing you could've done. It's that monster's fault for breaking her like that. He drove her to commit such an act. He's the reason she's not here, not you. So I don't want you to blame yourself, okay?" He glanced over at me and then back at the road.
I smiled a little, taking his hand in both of mine. "I'm glad you're in my life, you keep me sane." I chuckled. "I love you."
"I love you too, baby." He smiled. I brought his hand up to my lips and kissed his knuckles.
The last stop we were making was at our special place. It only seemed right since it was on our way out of town anyway. I put my feet up on the dashboard and stared out the window, taking in my surroundings for the last time. My dad made my life hell, but I will miss the few good things about it.
Dylan was the brother I never had. He loved and cared about me more than my father ever did. He didn't know everything about my life but he still helped me through a lot of shit and I'll forever be grateful to have known someone as amazing as him.
Although I hadn't known them long, Michael and Calum are like my little brothers. They're so goofy and always made me laugh with their jokes and silly nature. It was hard to be sad around them because their bubbly personalities were so uplifting. I wish I had spent more time with them, but the few moments we've shared are sweet and I'll always remember them.
And I can't forget about Ashton, the guy I've had a crush on for so long. Our relationship didn't go as I hoped it would but it was for the best. We made better friends than we did a couple anyway. His smile was so uplifting and contagious. I hope he finds someone that'll change him for the better so he'll find the love he deserves.
And last but certainly not least, the love of my life, Luke Hemmings. What can I say about him that I haven't already said? He's just so amazing and makes me incredibly happy. Our relationship since the beginning has been one you'd read in a book. We were two people that didn't know each other well but still despised each other. Then a situation arose that forced us to get close and we ended up falling for one another. There were obstacles, of course, but isn't there always? They helped get us where we are and right now is what matters, none of the shit from the past.
We arrived and made the trek up to the lake. When we got up there, I stripped down to my bra and panties and him to just his boxers. We made this time like the first, us swinging from the rope up on the tree into the lake, splashing each other like kids, and gazing up at the stars.
"Are you gonna miss this place?" I asked, breaking the silence.
"Town? Well yeah, a little." He replied.
"I'm talking about here, this lake, these trees." I motioned around me.
"It's just a place. It's nice, yeah, but there are other places." He rolled over to look at me. "We'll go wherever you want and find another place we can call our own." He smiled.
I smiled and pulled him down to kiss him. He tucked his arm under my body and rolled over, causing me to giggle and I ended up on top of him.
"It'a getting late, we should get going." I kissed his nose and got up, pulling him up with me. "I think there's a motel not too far off from the bridge we have to cross."
Since we were only a little damp, we put our clothes back on and walked down to his car. We got in and drove off and I turned on the heat to warm us up. As I listened to Luke softly sing along to the radio, I took out my phone and looked through the texts my friends sent me.
Dylan: Avery what the hell is going on? Why'd you leave this letter and why aren't you picking up your phone?
Mikey: This is some sick joke, right? You can't be serious
Mikey: Either you pick up your phone or get that lanky ass noodle you're with to do it.
Ash: Why'd you never tell me you were going through all of this? I could've helped you some how. Please don't leave. And if you guys are already gone then come back, there's another way.
Cal: Please don't go, we'll find another way.
Cal: Pick up the phone.
Cal: Avery c'mon I'm serious, answer the phone.
Dylan: I swear I'll hunt you down if you don't come home. Why would you leave me? I thought we were best friends that told each other everything.
There were even more texts and a shit ton of missed calls. I wiped away the tear that was rolling down my cheek and turned my phone off 'cause I couldn't read any more. They're all so worried and I could just imagine their faces and that tears me up even more.
"They're wondering where we are, aren't they." His voice was low and his question was more like a statement.
"Yeah." I nodded.
"I turned my phone off to avoid seeing that stuff. Don't think I'm regretting my decision because I'm not, I just don't think I could handle seeing what they said, especially my family."
I nodded, not really having anything to say. I know how close he is to his family and I can only imagine how hard this must be for him.
There wasn't much light along the bridge so he turned his high beams on as we rode across. It was a pretty long bridge and I could see some lights up ahead. He turned his lights back down so we didn't blind them as they got closer. I noticed the lights were quickly getting bigger and they seemed to be moving side to side.
"Luke! Luke watch out!" I pointed as the oncoming car veered into our lane. He jerked the wheel to the right and broke the wooden railing that separated us from the water below.
We plunged into the water and the car began to fill. We both tried to open our doors and threw our bodies against the windows to try to break them but there was no use. The water was rising fast and we'd be running out of air soon.
I knew I should've ran off without him. He wouldn't be in this situation if it wasn't for me. There's no way out and we're running out of air.
But the weird thing is, I'm not even scared. I'm more scared for him than I am for myself. He's gonna drown all because of me.
I turned to him. "I'm so sorry, this is all my fault." I cried, the water getting close to my neck.
"Don't blame yourself." He shook his head.
"But I'm the reason you're here! I should've left before you came back. You could be at home right now, happy and with your family."
"You'd think I'd be happy?" He had much more body than I did so he still had a bit of time. "I'd be miserable, probably rereading a letter you left, because the girl I'm in love with left me. I'd feel sad, empty, abandoned- anything but happy."
"But we're gonna die, Luke." There was no way to sugarcoat it, death was inevitable.
"At least I'm gonna die knowing that I was loved by the most wonderful person on Earth." He grabbed my hand underwater and gave it a squeeze. Even at a time like this he still finds a way to be sweet and loving.
The water was really rising now. I pushed myself out of my seat to reach the shrinking pocket of air.
"And I'm lucky to have been loved by the most perfect guy." I took one last breath before the car was completely filled with water.
I looked at him and I wanted to cry but that'd just cause me to lose air faster and I want to spend as much of my remaining time with him that I can.
He took his hand and caressed my cheek, smiling a little as if to assure me that things would be okay. He leaned in to kiss me and I brought him as close to me as I could. Soon we won't be able to hold this air in and the last place I want to be is in his arms.
I pulled away enough to see his face and be able to stare into those beautiful blue eyes for what would be the last time.
"I love you." I mouthed, the air bubbles escaping my mouth.
"I love you too." He mouthed, smiling.
I could feel my lungs starting to burn and I knew I wouldn't be able to hold it in much longer. I could tell he was beginning to feel the same way and the grip he had on my hand tightened. I hated seeing him in pain like this, pain I caused. As much as I wanted to hold out, it was better to just let go.
I gave him a look as if to say it was okay to let go and he nodded, holding up his other hand with three fingers up. I guess when he reached one it'll all be over.
Three.
I love this boy so much. He's the best thing to ever happen to me and I love every moment we've spent together.
Two.
We were squeezing each other's hand, not wanting to let go.
One.
I placed a kiss on his lips before he gave me the nod and we opened our mouths, the air leaving us and being replaced with water. Water filled my lungs and I choked, involuntarily coughing but I knew it was no use. The last thing I felt was his hand slipping out of mine and my body rising.