Take what's left of my heart,
I would still be willing to give it all.
Regardless of the mayhem I face
I will still try to stand tall.
Showing you the mirror was necessary,
For how else could I tell you what I feel?
Perhaps now you know very well,
How to your every demand, you made me kneel.
And now that it is done O dear,
I will spread my wings.
Life is nothing but a game I reckon
And everybody must have a chance at new innings.
.
Arnav was still not able to understand what could he possibly do to make Khushi understand that she mattered to him more than anything else in the world.
After that discussion they had had in the room once that infamous basketball was over, he was unable to face his own self, as every time he even tried doing so, the bitter reality would hit him like a thunderbolt.
The reality that corroborated every word, every question, every unintended accusation, that Khushi had quite rightly thrown at him; and that fact made him clouded with immense guilt.
He had to rush to the office immediately after that scene to see to some important issues and also be a part of some important meetings, but only he knew how he managed to survive that unnecessarily long day, his mind all the while lost in the thought of Khushi.
While the day in office was in no way fancying him, there was this one little aspect that had even though minutely, but raised a hope in his head.
.
AR was all set to launch a brand new Indian Wear collection, focusing mainly on bridal wear and ethnic merchandise for Indian traditional events.
He had a small smile on his face as he put two and two together and decided that this would possibly be the best token of affection from him to Khushi as she was someone who loved Indian attire and was pretty good with customizing the same.
Yes, she had no idea about the fashion world but then she had nothing to fear when her husband was rightly known as the ace of this industry and he was always going to help her with anything and everything in this process.
Yes, he would make her the head of this coming gala, and that would be his chance at making things better, as he so desperately wanted her to become like she fundamentally was, his beloved, mad, cute, exceptionally amazing Khushi.
He had to apologize to her, and this was going to be a good way to start with it.
Contemplating on everything, he got the formal papers of making Khushi the official in-charge of the coming event ready before he left for Shanti Van.
..
.
It was 9.00 p.m. when he reached home.
As he entered through the main door of the living room giving his laptop bag to HP, his eyes frantically searched for that one person who had occupied his mind thoroughly since the last so many hours.
He saw some of his family members sitting on the sofa, while some were already at the dining table, waiting for dinner.
But she was nowhere.
The thought made him flinch and he started walking towards his room in a quickened pace only to be stopped by his Nani in his track, as she called out, "Chotte!"
He immediately turned back, retreating his steps to answer the old lady.
"Nani, Khushi?"
He asked, hoping hopelessly that she was still in the house.
"Aap chinta naahi kijiye. Khushi bitiya apne kamre mein hai." (You don't worry, Khushi bitiya is in her room only.)
She replied, making Arnav sigh in relief.
But his relief didn't really last long because he heard his Nani, the matriarch of the Raizada family say,
"Chotte! What did we hear today? Sheetal is your ex-girlfriend?"
Out of all the things Arnav didn't want to hear right now, this was one.
He was miserably trying to wash off the tension that had enveloped him since this day and his repugnance towards himself was already so aggravated by everything Khushi and he had discussed this afternoon.
And now this?
His nani's question was like that final nail in the coffin that already carried his self loathe.
On getting no reply from him, Nani felt a tad bit of that guilty feeling take over her being.
"Chotte! I feel terrible! Your lifestyle had always bothered me before, but after your marriage I knew that things had changed for the better. But this? Oh goodness! I feel so, so bad for Khushi bitiya. She knew that Sheetal was your ex-girlfriend, but we constantly kept saying how Aarav and you are so similar, not even knowing how badly it was going to affect poor Khushi bitiya. What have we done?"
The lady lamented, genuinely guilty for unknowingly hurting the sentiments of her beloved Khushi bitiya.
And now she held all the more resentment for Sheetal.
"Chotte! I don't know what you will decide to do about this. But after knowing all this, we don't want Sheetal and Aarav to stay here anymore. This is what me as well as Anjali Bitiya think to be righteous."
Arnav couldn't agree more.
He knew that Sheetal had to go and there could be no second thought about it.
But he also knew that the root cause of this whole fiasco wasn't Sheetal alone.
He was equally responsible.
The trigger of this whole ordeal was he himself, and Sheetal was only a contributor, a major contributor.
Half of the imposters in life are able to harm us, impact us, only because we let them. And here, he had to agree that Sheetal's entry in their lives could invoke such a problem only because he let it. And that urgently reminded him that he had to talk to Khushi right away.
He nodded at his Nani, conveying it to her that he was in compliance with whatever she had proposed and without wasting another second, rushed towards his bedroom.
..
.
"Ji. Of course. You don't worry about it dear, I will be there on time."
"All right then. Okay. Yes, even I'm very excited."
"Okay. Chalo, see you tomorrow then. And yeah, once again, thanks. Good night."
She hung up finally, a small smile sitting on her lips.
.
He noted everything as he entered the room, hearing her say those last bits of words in the telephonic conversation.
Like always, his heart was thudding loudly, his proximity to her always creating that ritualistic stream of abnormal pulses, but today it was all enhanced for he had some serious apologizing to do.
He watched as she looked at him, the small smile that was now a residue from the phone call still lingering on her lips.
Seeing her smile was always his favorite sight, but today his heart slightly ached for she didn't greet him with a hug like she always did and neither was she telling him anything about the phone call she just had.
He always knew Khushi as the one who would talk nineteen to the dozen at any given hour of the day and now seeing her like this silent and poised entity, he only felt like he had lost a very precious part of him.
'Was she not even going to tell him who she was talking to on the phone? And why she was going to see that person tomorrow?'
He thought as he contemplated should he or should he not ask her about it.
Did he suddenly lose all rights on her?
His agonized thoughts came to an abrupt halt when he heard her say,
"I was talking to Shea. She is a very old friend of mine from Lucknow."
'Thank god!'
Arnav exclaimed inwardly, sighing in relief that at least his Khushi was not completely gone.
But little did he know that his little phase of rejoice was only going to be short-lived.
.
"I met her this afternoon when I went to the temple and we were both pleasantly surprised and reconnected. She took me to a cafe and we had a long chat."
Arnav was listening patiently, happy that she was telling him about her day, but at the same time, seeing that poised, reticent expression on her face, he was afraid that he was going to hear something he might not like.
"She recently got married and her husband owns this giant chain of hotels in the whole of Asia. They are willing to start a new one in New Delhi, and so for the Indian Cuisine section in its 5-star restaurant, Shea wants me to be the head chef and lead a whole team of culinary people."
.
And Arnav was tongue-tied once again.
For someone like Arnav Singh Raizada, facing a moment where he is spell-boundhardly came.
But being exactly so not just once but twice in less than 24 hours? Sure, destiny wasn't going to follow his path after all!
All that he had thought, all that he had wished, and planned, everything was suddenly caught up in this jeopardy.
Here he was planning to gift her something of her own, but he didn't even know that she had already taken up something else!
Perhaps that's the reason they say, if you don't value what you already have, there are plenty out there who are going to give them the value more than what they deserve. And here, his chances at fixing things were just blurring.
.
"Khu, Khushi, you really want to do this?"
That's all that he could manage to ask.
After all, he knew he was at fault and didn't want in any way to jeopardize that little smile on her face at the excitement of this new venture she was going to indulge in.
"Of course, Arnav Ji. Why wouldn't I? I think by now the entire Laxminagar, no, the entire DELHI knows my love for food as well as cooking, and I believe we must always take that path that we love. After all, what can be better than making your hobby your profession, isn't it?"
She said smilingly.
'Was this the same Khushi?'
That's all he could think.
.
"But Khushi, I mean.. You can always join AR, you know. I mean, it is as much yours as it is mine. I can always guide you and you can always come to office, if being independent and busy is what you are looking for."
He said, still not able to get over the jolt that she was going to take up a new and different path, with no ounce of support from him.
Alongside, it also ached to think that he was not even able to tell her how he wanted to gift her that designation of Head of Indian Designs at AR.
"Arnav Ji, don't you say that dedication and hard work is always your key to success? I want to do something I'm good at. It took me quite long to realize that the best way to have a perpetual spring of positivity in life is to embrace who you are, what you are, and then strive to be better at that. Trying to become something else, somebody else is just a folly. It is like betraying your own identity."
She looked at him keenly as she continued,
"Arnav Ji, I want to have an identity of my own, and I will have it. I will be independent. I will be busy. After all I'm only too young, ain't I? But stepping into your industry of fashion, how can I even say that it is my identity when my conscience knows it isn't me? I love cooking, it's a beautiful art too. So let me create my identity in this sector, in the field I like, hmm?"
.
Arnav didn't know what to say.
He had come here with the hope of a new start, with his apology, with his gift. But seeing this extraordinarily determined Khushi, he was still in this stunned stage of thoughts, for he for once didn't understand that it was Khushi who had changed so much or he himself?
He always taunted her to take things a little seriously but that didn't mean he didn't enjoy her antics, her madness. Hell, he found her extravagantly cute whenever she was all chirpy and smiling. Then why was it that now that she was being mature, he was not able to take it?
Perhaps the change wasn't in just Khushi alone, it was in him too.
Because although the change in Khushi showed in whatever words she spoke and how she acted now, the change in Arnav was heavily reflecting in his thoughts. The thoughts, which only pushed him to realize the wrongs he had done in the past, how much he had been ignorant towards her whims and fancies and how much he had taken her for granted, never really acknowledging in truest sense how selfless and giving she had always been towards him and his family.
.
Arnav only nodded seeing her waiting face, falling helpless with all the valid points that she had thrown at him.
How did she even manage to consequentially put everything so perfectly and voice her thoughts, in such a way that even he couldn't negate it at all? When from deep inside, all he wanted was for her to be like old times and not be this newborn entity who acted as if he didn't exist!
She pecked him softly on his cheek, thanking him in a way for complying with the option she chose, before she said,
"Now let's go down for dinner, I'm hungry."
And saying that she left with a happy face, leaving a baffled Arnav behind.
.
What we do is what we get,
What we sow is what we reap.
So this is how it feels O dear,
When you make the innocents weep.
But is it too little,
Is it too late?
To amend the broken,
And change your fate?
Time has the answer,
Time has the way,
Now you know what it is like
When the other is like you, just for a day.
.
Wiping off the lone tear that had uncontrollably escaped his eye, he walked out of his bedroom to join the family at dinner, only to see that venomous sight of Sheetal standing with a blank face in front of him.
And at that moment, he only felt this urge, this strong urge to have a diplomatic immunity so that he could murder this woman who was heavily responsible if not fully, for whatever mess he was caught up in right now.
Ignoring her blatantly, as if her existence was intoxicating, he lashed out and headed downstairs for dinner, leaving a furious Sheetal behind.
**