[Okay, the least I can do is revise the grammatical errors in KP because....they need fixin'.]
Stay Creepy, My Friends!~
Chapter 12
Ben's POV
Okay, maybe I jumped the gun a little bit.
'I think I'm in love with him'. Sure, Ben, and while you're at it, tell the whole world that you're such an idiot your IQ drops into the Earth's center, because you might as well exaggerate to the fullest.
I'm in love with Reese. I can't be. I don't want to be.
He's seventeen; still young, still has so many opportunities ahead of him that will give him a better life, with better things to do than spend time with me. You have no business with him, Ben. Your worlds are different.
It's only been a few weeks, too, like, what the fuck..?
At first, I only gave him harmless flirting. It never meant anything. I mean, he's handsome, and witty, and down-to-earth, and I recognized that--nothing more. Just harmless flirting. Just harmless admiring. All of it was harmless. But then he had to go and make me feel things...!
Earlier, he hugged me like we hadn't seen each other in forever. He caressed my face, messed with my ears, stared into my eyes and held my hands. The things he told me about not leaving him, he sounded sincere through and through. I tried so hard not to let him get to me, but every little thing he did was hard to forget. Giving me his hoodie; giving me cake, teaching me how to ride a penny board, grabbing onto me, smiling at me, laughing with me, teasing me, sharing his troubles with me. Everything he did was nice, and he's such a good kid who doesn't deserve any pain.
You can't call it love. Maybe it's a crush. Crushes are easy to get over, especially now that you've screwed up your friendship with Reese.
It's a crush. Not love. Never love. Don't ever fall in love again, because it won't last for you. You can daydream; you can long for, you can admire, but never love.
You've given up already. Let Reese go. No matter how much that empty feeling hurts you inside, just let it be. It's not like it'll go away anyway. It'll come back. It always does.
Let Reese go. Let him live a good life. Let him live. Even if you can't do the same.
...
Reese's POV
The studio room echoed with the sounds I made when slamming my fists against the punching bag. It was Friday, my last day of school suspension this week. I decided to come to Artem's shop while he was on his lunch break and snuck into the training room with my spare key. It's nice to just be alone, listening to the rattling of the punching bag's chains and the loud smacks of every hit I made. My mind was empty like I wanted it. No thoughts whatsoever. Just keep punching and don't think.
Suddenly, over the sounds of my fists hitting the punching bag, a light Russian accent piped up, "What have I told you about using the training room without my permission?"
I didn't even glance at Artem, though I could see him walking closer from the corner of my vision. He stood a few feet to my left, arms crossed, eyeing me intently as I kept jabbing the punching bag with reckless abandon.
The Russian brunet sighed and commented casually, "Your form is off." It was then that I stopped and watched the punching bag sway gently in front of me. Artem sat down on the floor, his legs crossed, his demeanor radiating calmness instead of annoyance.
"How long have you been in here?" he inquired.
I adjusted the gloves on my hands as I answered, "About twenty minutes..."
He nodded. "I say you should take a break. You're sweating like a porosenok."
Even though I didn't want to stop, I knew it was better to listen to Artem. So, with a harrumph, I sat down on the floor in front of Artem, tossing off my gloves to the side. Now that I faced him, I could see his analyzing gaze on me.
"You seem angrier than usual," he said. "What's bothering you?"
I shrugged. "Nothing."
"It can't be nothing if you go so far as to disobey one of my most important rules, soplyak," he remarked. "Are you troubled because you were suspended from school?"
I stifled a wry chuckle and replied, "No, that's hardly a problem."
"Then?" He leaned back on his hands, giving me a scrutinizing look.
"It's nothing," I repeated.
He shook his head. "If there's one thing I've learned from you it's that I can tell when you're lying."
I groaned and brushed a hand through my sweat-dampened hair. Scratching at my head, I looked down to the floor and murmured, "Artem...are you my friend?"
He blinked at me and answered, "I'm your boss."
"Art, please," I grumbled.
He tapped his fingers on the floor and said, "I suppose I am."
I started messing with the cuff of my jogger pants as I admitted, "There is something that's bothering me, but it'd be too complicated to explain."
"You are nothing but complicated," the brunet stated bluntly.
"Thanks, ruski," I muttered sarcastically. After gazing around, trying to think of a way to tell him my troubles, I finally came up with something.
"So, I made a friend a few weeks ago," I started. "He was pretty cool, I guess. He was respectful and funny, and sometimes a dork. Actually, he was a dork all of the time. But, uh...he was involved with dangerous stuff." When I glanced at Artem, I quickly added, "Don't worry, I didn't get in on it. I don't think I'll ever get involved now."
"Why?" the ruski asked.
Remembering yesterday's incident, I sighed and responded, "He decided to leave me for my own sake. Said I'd get in trouble eventually. Basically, he isn't my friend anymore; he left like all the others have. Except, this time, I didn't ruin anything, though I still feel like I did. I wasn't exactly polite during our last moments together."
"What you're saying is that you're upset because you lost a friend?" Artem questioned.
I nodded. "It sounds stupid and childish, I know."
He furrowed his brow. "How come you're more affected by this incident than others?"
That question stumped me for a few moments. He has a point; I don't usually get so upset when shit goes wrong with friends, even if I'm relapsing. I always felt that if they didn't like me, then they didn't like me. It shouldn't be my obligation to make others like the kind of person I am, same as no one should be obligated to make me like them. If things don't work out, then that's that.
But with Ben... It felt different. Was it the fact that I had a responsibility to his game cartridge? Having someone like him entrust me with something so simple yet important felt surreal. His existence is surreal, and maybe that's why I grew closer to him than I have with anyone else I've made friends with. He's already done so much with me that I wouldn't be able to do within a year. And he saved my life.
It was then that I realized Ben was the first friend I've ever felt obligated to, and not in a negative way. And now that's all fucked up.
After waiting for me to respond but never getting a word, Artem began, "Soplyak, I'm not quite sure how to talk to you about this. If you say he did dangerous things then I think it was wise of him to let you be."
I was about to argue with him when he added, "But I believe that you are truly hurt by this, and the only way to fix it is by reconciling with him or letting go. It doesn't seem like you two will have a discussion any time soon, so my only advice would be to cherish whatever you two had and move on. There is no point to holding anger, you know this.
"Enjoy the positive moments as they were and focus on making yourself happy," he continued. "I know I am not much, but I am still here to let you vent your weird, teenage problems. You still have your mother and brother who have been there for you since the beginning. I know we are not much, but we are here. Don't be hard on yourself, soplyak. That's all you ever are."
For a few moments after Artem was done speaking, I just sat in silence, thinking. I guess I am hard on myself most of the time: always berating myself for relapsing, always feeling like I owe Mom and Hunter for our past, always getting upset if I don't pass a test with a high enough score because I want to work hard to go to college and be the good kid they all tell me I am. When I spoke, I said, "Alright. I'll...I'll take it easy. I'll let go."
"Good," Artem replied, then got up to his feet. "You have a couple of hours left until your work shift. Since you're already up here, I think I can fit in a quick training session."
I looked up at him, trying to read his blue eyes, but they weren't showing anything. Still, I knew what he was doing, and smirked.
"Okay, ruski," I agreed, "I actually wouldn't mind getting my ass kicked."
He held out a hand for me to take and pulled me up to my feet. Clapping my back, he said, "Put your gloves back on and let's start."
...
Elizabeth's POV
I have a plan to get rid of Caedis. Again.
So far, we've stayed within the same motel for a few weeks now. It's a decent place that's much better than the one I was at before, but I knew I couldn't stay here long. The mouths are starting to complain more and there's no way I'm letting that white-haired bastard force-feed me any more human parts.
Our days are never exciting, really. Caedis just practices his sign language, and I put all of my energy towards suppressing the mouths. Zalgo shows up sometimes, but every time he tries to speak to me I simply tell him to screw off. Surprisingly, he does, and I had wondered if he was slowly making his way out of my mind. These thoughts are always shot down whenever he comes back to nag or taunt me with his cruel demeanor.
This afternoon held nothing exciting. Like he's done every day, Caedis is practicing sign language on the floor (sometimes he'll sit at the motel room's desk, but since he has to sit in front of the bed, I have to look at him more and I hate looking at him). I just spend my time sitting in bed, watching TV to place my thoughts on other things. Because I've gotten to laze around so much, I've started developing a new plan to get rid of Caedis.
What I want to do is set him on fire this time. I know it's a ridiculous plan--and he'll probably come back anyway--but if I can set him on fire and possibly dismember him again, that might prolong his regeneration. I'll spread his body parts farther away from each other this time so he can't reattach right away. To start the plan, I'm going to have to take him somewhere secluded and then just figure something out. I thought about locking him in a car and setting the thing on fire, but I figured that'd be too complicated and would grab too much attention. So, maybe I can just get some gasoline or paint thinner from a store, douse him in the stuff, then the rest is taken care of...
The channel the TV was only showed cartoons. I could always watch other forms of shows, but these are easier to watch. Nothing political or worrying comes up in cartoons, and the commercials are child-friendly. Glancing over at Caedis, I wondered if he would be interested in this form of entertainment, considering his mind isn't all that intelligent unless certain situations call for it.
"Hey, stop signing for a sec," I ordered him. Upon hearing me, he quickly looked up. Pointing up to the TV, I said, "Watch that."
He did as I commanded and set his gaze on the mounted television. I watched his expression, trying to see if he was reacting to it at all. For a time, I wondered if I could make him learn emotions. Zalgo says he's incapable ("he was made to be that way"), but he said Caedis was also incapable of communicating coherently. Already, he's been able to "call" me by my name. E-L-L-I-E. (I contemplated if I was comfortable with him using my nickname, but then again I just wasn't comfortable with him anyway.)
After watching him for a few minutes, I realized he wasn't going to react. Sighing, I ordered him to continue practicing and he listened immediately.
Minutes passed, cartoons finished and started, commercials played, and the mouths kept murmuring. By now I've gotten used to them nagging me, but it's when they start screaming that I can't handle them. In this case, one of them decided to be a jerk and yell at me, telling me to feed it. I jumped in my spot, clutching at my head as a migraine rattled my skull along with the hissing. My limbs trembled as I tried to ignore the pain, but nothing seemed to work. I guess I went on too long without feeling pain after the mouths were "fed" and let my guard down. Now, it's as excruciating as the first time it started.
Along with the migraine, my throat felt like it was closing up and I began to panic. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Caedis look up from the book to see what was going on, but I ignored him and made my way to the kitchen. Frantically, I went over to the fridge to grab some water and chugged an entire bottle down. Without a care, I tossed the plastic bottle aside and the loud clang as it hit the floor seemed amplified in my ears. I looked in the fridge to find another water bottle, but there was no more. My throat still felt parched and constricted, so I went with my last option and yanked the kitchen sink's handle on.
The faucet poured water immediately, and I leaned over to drink. It wasn't cold as the bottled water, but it was good enough for me. Water splashed all over my face, and my locks of hair got wet as they hung into the sink bowl. My desperate drinking got too energetic and I ended up choking for a few moments. I coughed and coughed, until coughing became retching, and suddenly I was throwing up. Even though I had barely anything to eat today, I couldn't stop vomiting. My arms trembled as they were the only things keeping me up so I could lean over the sink. The migraine was still there, and so was that one mouth screaming at me. I begged it to stop, but it kept hissing and cursing and growling at me. Feed me, feed me, feed me! But I don't want to.
Eventually, I stopped vomiting, but I was light-headed beyond compare. It took me a while to notice that Caedis was standing next to me, leaned over to check how I was doing. I grabbed onto his arm to push him away, but ended up leaning on him for leverage instead. The white-haired man gently placed a hand on my shoulder and held me upright as best as he could, but I felt too weak and too disoriented to recover. Before I knew it, I was falling down and I blacked out before I could hit the kitchen floor.
...
All around me was nothing but swaying, healthy green grass. My body felt loose, relaxed, and without the pain I was feeling before. Briefly, I wondered why, until I realized I wasn't conscious. I was kneeling, slumped, in the middle of a meadow. Grass blades tickled my legs and arms, and a gentle breeze caressed my back.
Looking up, I saw a perfect, blue sky above me. Few clouds were rolling past, and the trees along all sides of the meadow rustled with the delicate wind. Everything looked beautiful, and natural, and I felt at peace. But only for a short time.
Ahead of me, I saw two figures sitting in the grass. I squinted, trying to make out their shapes, trying to see if I could recognize them. When I couldn't figure out their identities, I got up to get closer. Before I could reach about five meters away from them, I stopped in my tracks and stared with wide eyes.
Jeff was sitting cross-legged on the grass, looking unscathed, looking like how he once did when I first met him. Across from him was...me.
I looked like how I used to: two blue eyes, slightly healthier complexion, happy.
I overheard the two talking.
"Are you getting the hang of your training?" Jeff asked Ellie.
She nodded. "It's challenging, but I think I can do it. I don't exactly have a choice anyway."
Jeff chuckled. "I'd say it looks like it's paying off well." He then grabbed onto her hands and examined them. "Ah, I'll miss when your hands felt so dainty. You've already got calluses."
"Don't tease me about my hands," Ellie chided and yanked them out of Jeff's grip. He laughed and reached forward to grab them again. Once he finally held them a second time, he remarked, "Aw, don't be insulted, Sunshine. That's a good thing! I still love your hands, even if they end up getting rough."
"Sure," Ellie muttered with a smirk.
"It's true...! I can show you how much I love them right now. How 'bout this?" Jeff placed kisses on both hands, and Ellie giggled joyfully. The both of them gazed at each other, so wrapped up in each other's presence that they couldn't see me, or maybe I just wasn't "present" to begin with.
I stood there staring at them for the longest time, until I glanced down at my own hands. It was then that I wondered what it would be like to have a real, right arm again. I wondered what it would feel like to be new to training and fighting--to be a part of the simpler days. They feel so distant now--they are--and I couldn't help but suddenly envy the Elizabeth that sat in the meadow a few meters away.
Clenching my hands into fists, I looked back up at Jeff and Ellie ahead of me and frowned. "That...that should be me," I murmured.
Jeff kept kissing and holding Ellie's hands, appreciating them, praising her for her hard work.
"That should be me..."
She laughed with glee, teased him back, and thanked him for all of his support and love.
"That should be me...!"
Both of them gazed at each other with so much love. So much untainted, unwounded, unhindered love.
"That should be me!"
But it wasn't. It wasn't and never would be me. Because I was far too tainted, too wounded, and too hindered to ever be Jeff's pure Sunshine again.
"That...should be...me...," I said, this time a sob shaking my voice. I fell back down to my knees again and hunched over across the ground. Covering my eyes, I cried and tried to suppress all of the pain, but something so deep-set never goes away. All it does is fester until it finally engulfs you.
There was a sudden gust of wind that caught my attention, and I looked up just in time to see all of the grass in the meadow wither and die. Everything dried up, and even the trees lost their leaves. The sky turned gray and there was no Jeff or Ellie in sight. Instead, one lone figure took their place and I snarled as soon as I set my eyes on him.
"You know well that you can never have what you once had," Zalgo stated. "Too much time has passed. Too many moments lost and wasted. Stop longing for your old life and move on. You don't belong with him, or your friends. You don't belong anywhere now. So let everything go."
To my surprise, he held out Jeff's and my rings in his hand, and I glanced down at my own to see that they were, in fact, gone. Panicked, I pleaded, "G-Give those back! Please!"
Zalgo grinned and said, "You want your precious rings back? Can't you see they are meaningless now? How pitiful." Then, he let them fall from his palm onto the dry dirt, and stomped on them.
"NO!" I lunged forward, attempting to get up and retrieve the rings before he damaged them too much, but something snagged onto my ankles. I fell onto the ground and craned my head back to see black strings wrap around my legs. Desperately, I tried kicking them off but they kept appearing from the dull, dead Earth. The mouths began to speak up again, telling me to feed them like many times before. As I clawed into the dirt to get away, the black strings jerked my body back further and further from Zalgo.
"No! Please!" I cried out. "You can't do this! Don't do this!"
"I am not in control anymore, my dear," he retorted. "You hold my place. You bear my mark. A Queen has a duty to her kingdom, Elizabeth. Serve your kingdom well."
"No!" The black strings slithered up to my arms, constricting my movements more and more. As they overtook my body, all I could do was struggle and plead to be freed. But there was no salvation for me. Only festering pain.
"No! Please! Don't do this! Let me go! Let me go back! Let me be happy! Please! No! NOO!"
And so the pain festers and festers until it's too much and it explodes like a whelk, rotting away everything it touches, like a disease.
And then everything is numb. Because it was too much pain. Because everything feels dead.
Because I'm losing myself.
...
Upon waking, my breathing was heavy and my heart was pounding hard in my chest. I could feel sweat coating my face and the disgusting taste of vomit was still on my tongue. My fingers clutched tightly at the blanket, and my entire body rattled. I was on the motel bed again. The kitchen sink was turned off and the TV still showed cartoons.
Glancing to my left, I saw Caedis, loomed over me with a washcloth in his hands, frozen as if he was barely going to place it on me. He leaned away and stared at me, waiting to see if I still needed his assistance. All I did was pant heavily and brush the stringy hair out of my eyes.
After sitting in silence for some time, I reached out a shaky hand towards the washcloth in Caedis' hands. He set it in my palm and I felt the warm dampness of the cloth. Gently, I pressed it to my face, and as I let its warmth sink into my skin, I let tears fall. At first, I was quiet, but eventually emotions racked me until I was sobbing aloud again.
I didn't pay much attention to what Caedis was doing until I felt his weight on the bed. Distracted, I sniffled and looked up to see what he was doing. Next to my lap was the sign language book he's been practicing. Puzzled, I muttered, "What is it...?"
The white-haired man shifted the book closer and tapped his finger on an illustration on the pearlescent page. The illustration he was pointing at was of a girl crying.
Furrowing my brow, I looked up and stared into his red eyes. The moment I looked at him, he lifted his right hand and signed what was a three-letter word. I turned my gaze back down to the page and saw hand models next to the illustration. They also spelled out a three-letter word.
S-A-D.
My downcast emotions had ceased to make way for surprise. In a nearly inaudible whisper, I said, "You...you're learning..."
Caedis signed again for the simple word S-A-D, yet coming from him it was far from just being simple. Then he pointed to me and I felt my awe smack me hard again. There was no hiding it, even if I wanted to. I nodded and told him, "Yes, that's correct. Do you...do you understand what sadness is?"
All he did was stare at me. I suppose it would be too early to expect anything so advanced of him.
I chuckled weakly and commented, "You must have it easy not to feel emotions. You don't have to worry about heartache and overwhelming depression. All you have to do is wait until you're given a task. At first, I thought a fate like that was one worse than death. Now, I realize, maybe it's easier to be condemned to a thoughtless mind like yours. You're lucky."
When I lifted my gaze to look at him, I stifled a light scoff and added, "Why am I telling any of this to you? It's not like you can understand. You'll never learn how to feel. Again, which is why you're lucky."
After several seconds of silence, Caedis gently picked up the book and placed it on his lap. He just sat on the edge of the bed for a while, staring down at the pages with those empty, dull eyes of his. When I expected him to do something, all he did was get up and take a seat on the floor again. As if nothing happened, he just kept practicing another page.
I sighed and stared down at the washcloth in my hands. Then I looked at my hands. One metal, one flesh. The wedding rings were still there shining back at me. My thoughts backtracked to the moment Zalgo threw them down and stomped on them. Frowning, I cupped my right hand over the fingers of my left and squeezed tight.
I'm not letting go.
...
The next day was the day I planned to get rid of Caedis. Once it was evening, I'd have the two of us go out to the store and then I'd get the paint thinner to set him ablaze later.
Like every day that has passed, I just sat on the bed, watching the television while Caedis practices on the floor. By now, I've seen so many reruns of cartoons that I'm remembering the episode names and lines. It should've gotten boring after a while, but cartoons still manage to drag you back in no matter how many times you've watched them.
It was twenty minutes past three o'clock until I started getting hungry. I ran out of food yesterday, and skipped breakfast this morning. Laying in bed, trying to ignore my hunger, I remembered that there was a vending machine outside for my section of motel rooms. A snack would be just enough to hold me off for today. It's not far away, too, and very little people walk around outside, anyway.
I sat up and draped my legs over the bed, my feet dangling above my shoes. Without a need to rush, I nonchalantly pulled my shoes on, not even bothering to tie them properly. I got up and grabbed my jacket from the desk. Reaching inside both pockets, I found my money on the left, and my switchblade on the right. Once I was set to go, I walked toward the door, and suddenly a hand squeezed my arm.
Turning, I found Caedis standing behind me, keeping me in place. I sighed and said, "Oh, yeah, I'm going out to grab a snack. I won't take long."
When I tried pulling away from him, he tightened his grip. Annoyed, I shifted my eyes to his hand, then to his face. "I said I won't take long. I'm just getting a snack from the vending machine..."
Caedis glanced at the door before looking at me and shaking his head.
Irritably, I sneered and tried yanking my arm out of his hand. No matter how hard I pulled, he wouldn't let go. "Listen, I don't need you to escort me for this, so let go...!" I said. The white-haired man just shook his head as a response.
"C'mon, it's just a few meters away! Let go of me!"
No response. Only a tight grip on my left arm.
"Let go! That's an order, dammit!" By now, I was tugging so hard that my feet couldn't hold me still and I was sliding across the floor.
Angered, I reached into my right pocket and pulled out the switchblade. Flipping it open, I growled and slashed at Caedis' arm. That didn't affect him one bit, but I was too caught up in my rage to stop. One slash after another, I sliced into his arm, spilling his blood on the floor.
"You piece of shit, let go of me!" Finally, I rammed a knee into his side and he jerked back. His grip loosened for a split second and it was enough time for me to pull away and turn for the door. Before I could grab the doorknob, Caedis swept his leg against both of mine and I fell against the wall.
After I recovered from the fall, I whipped around and snatched Caedis' pant cuff. Furious, I pounced on him and shoved his head against the floor. "You little shit, listen to an order when I give you one!!!"
In a blur, I stabbed into his neck over and over. Drops of blood flew up into the air, spattering onto the floor and on our clothes. For several seconds, Caedis just laid on the floor and took the stabbing. Eventually, he lifted his hands to push me away. Despite that I was attacking him, he still tried to handle me with tentative care. That just pissed me off more.
"Good for nothing piece of shit...! All you had to do was let me get a fucking snack. But no, 'it's too dangerous'. You're supposed to follow my commands, aren't you? You're supposed to obey me without question! The perfect weapon my ass! You're nothing but a faulty, worthless waste of magic!"
Suddenly, after struggling all this time, he finally grabbed both of my wrists and pushed my hands away. I resisted him, no matter how vice-tight his grip was. Glaring down at his bloodied, expressionless face fueled my rage and all I wished for was to hurt him, to make him feel pain.
Then, in our scuffle, the switchblade fell from my right hand and onto his chest. There was a split second that the both of us froze, registered the available knife, and then there was a wild blur of frighteningly fast reflexes. I tried to grab my weapon again, but Caedis got his hands on it first. He had tried to pull it away from me, but in his rush he ended up slashing the blade against my left hand when I was reaching for it. I yelped and hissed, gripping onto my palm as blood trickled from the fresh cut. Caedis tensed completely, almost as if he knew he had royally fucked up.
I checked my hand and sure enough it was bleeding more than I thought it would. At this point, I didn't care if I was weaponless. Aggressively, I slapped him across the face and tugged on his hair. Inside, I could feel the adrenaline burn my veins, fueling my vigor.
"You want to hurt me, huh? Is that it? You want to consume my blood, don't you? Like a fucking pig! Well, go ahead! Take it! Take all of it! Eat like the filthy, worthless pig you are!!!"
Clutching his hair to hold his head down, I slammed my left fist against his cheek and proceeded to smear my blood all over his face. To my surprise, he tried to keep his mouth shut and turn his head away. That little act of resistance infuriated me and I rammed his head against the floor to situate him. "Follow orders like a good boy and drink my damned blood! Go ahead! Drink it! Drink it!!!"
And then something peculiar happened. After shoving my hand against his mouth during this whole struggle, Caedis uttered a gag and his entire body tensed up. I sat there, staring with confusion and curiosity. In silence, I watched the skin at his neck slowly turn gray and dark veins slithered up past his jaw. He grabbed at his neck, trembling like I've never seen him before. For the first time ever, I saw a glint of pain in his crimson eyes.
"You're feeling pain...," I said. "You're feeling pain. That's...incredible." With a grin, I forced his hands away from his neck and pinned them to the floor. Looming over him, I watched him struggle and try to suppress whatever my blood was doing to him. Suddenly, he coughed up black liquid and choked on that too.
Chuckling, I awed, "That's amazing. You actually have a weakness! You're not so invincible after all. Hahaha! Wh-What is it like for you to feel pain? Have you ever wondered what it's like to feel human? If you have, then this is it! Nothing but pain and suffering. I-I've done you a favor. You should be thanking me for giving you the chance to feel alive! Feel grateful. Feel alive and suffer...!"
There was something beautifully pathetic about the look in his eyes. They usually look so dead, but now I can recognize the glittering fear in them. As he kept choking on the black bile that rose from his throat, I enjoyed the show he put on for me.
"If only you could speak," I remarked, "I'd love to hear you plead for me." With gentle fingers, I brushed Caedis' hair back with my left hand, then proceeded to shove my palm against his mouth again. He yanked his head to the side but my blood had already fallen against his lips. More black liquid spilled out from his mouth and I clutched onto both sides of his face to force him to look at me. In a soft whisper, I told him, "You're doing such a wonderful job. Suffer for me. Suffer."
Caedis tried to sign something to me, but all his fingers could do was twitch feebly. I just sat and watched him for what seemed like hours, but it was amusing seeing him suffer while it lasted. After a while, he had stopped uttering miserable choking and gagging sounds and was left immobile and breathing weakly on the floor. I took this opportunity to get up and drag him into the bathroom. Blood and black liquid streaked across the floor, but I paid it no mind since I could always clean it up with a few towels. Once in the bathroom, I hauled him into the tub and left him there.
Next, I worked to clean up the mess he left behind and tossed the dirtied towels in a hamper in the bathroom closet (the cleaning lady will be in for a pleasant surprise). Afterwards, I cleaned up the wound on my palm and could feel a buzz as it healed. I went ahead and changed into a spare outfit so I wouldn't run off looking bloody. Then, I grabbed my backpack and tucked in the dirtied clothes. As I was folding the shirt, I glanced down at the floor to see the sign language book just sitting there. I leaned down to grab it, then turned around to look at Caedis. From where I stood, he was able to look at me bearing an exhausted gaze. With a beguiling smirk, I said, "You won't be needing this." I shoved it in my backpack and continued on packing the rest of my things.
Taking extra precaution, I nabbed Caedis' knife and gun from his bag and put it mine. My backpack was heavier than I would have liked, but I'll dispose of his stuff once I'm far away from this damned motel. Before leaving, I walked into the bathroom to give one last good-bye to Caedis.
"I have to say," I began, "I definitely won't miss you. Maybe this time you'll follow my orders and stay away. You don't want to feel pain again, do you?"
When he didn't utter a sound or give any response, I grabbed onto his face and forced his head to move from side-to-side. "'No, please, don't hurt me again'...!" I mocked him. "'I'll be a good servant. I'll listen to you, Master'...!" When I was done having my fun, I shoved his head away and stood up straight.
"I hope I never get to see your disgusting face again," I muttered, before turning around to finally leave him behind.
There was an almost unreal sense of joy that coursed through me as I opened the door. The moment I closed it shut behind me I wanted to holler out a cheer. But I restrained my excitement and started walking away from the motel room, leaving Caedis behind in the most pitiful state.
And as I left, I finally visited the vending machine and got my fucking snack.