Luckily, the exhaustion and alcohol swimming in my system helped me to a swift descent into dreamland. I had a peaceful sleep. No tossing and turning, no unruly unexplainable dreams. Just the company of darkness behind my eyelids and my comforter in my bed. I woke up quite leisurely the next day. The clock proclaiming that I had an hour or so before work. I made my way downstairs where Mich was reading the day's newspaper seated at the dining table. He didn't even glance up, just hummed appreciatively as I planted a soft peck on his forehead.
"Morning, Fi." He said as I turned towards the kitchen. "Pot's still fresh."
"Don't need coffee." I replied, filling up a glass of water. "I am famished though. I filled up on mostly finger foods and drinks last night. Can you make me something?"
"Sure. You have to leave in an hour right?"
"A bit less now." My eyes wandered over to the dishes, "It's your turn to do..." lingering on a pair of cups standing by the side.
"The dishes?" Mich completed for me as I trailed off. "I know, I know."
Last night's early morning conversation flooded back to me. Now that I wasn't mentally incapacitated by exhaustion or the alcohol, I could fully comprehend the scale of what had happened. I could vividly remember what he'd said.
He cared about me? What does he mean by that? Is that a confession? Does that mean he likes me? He said I was the first one he had told about him and Elizabeth breaking up. Probably because he realised I might have been a bit uncomfortable after what he’d said. I didn't really take him seriously till he broke that news to me. He also said he knows I care about him right before he zoomed off. Sure, I do care about him but I don't know myself yet if it's in the context he was implying.
"Did someone come over last night?" Mich questioned as he came to a stop beside me.
I swallowed softly, not seeing a reason to hide it. "Yeah. It was Christopher."
"Aah. Why'd he come here?" He had a curious lilt in his voice.
"He was a bit drunk." My reply was unbothered. I scratched my head and turned away to head upstairs again. I can't tell Mich about what had happened, I could barely comprehend it myself. "So, I drove him here, gave him a cup of coffee, which apparently he doesn't drink, before giving him the keys to his car back so he could drive home safely."
Mich laughed. "Proud of you, kiddo. How'd he let you drive with your kind of... uh... automobile education?"
"Yuri taught me well, okay?" I rolled my eyes at his careful phrasing. "I didn't let him know till we were already driving."
"That's my girl." Mich's laughter followed me as I headed upstairs to change. A smile tugged at my lips too, temporarily distracted me from my problem.
Was it really a problem though? Christopher hadn't really confessed, he'd just given an inkling to what he might confess. And it’s not like I’m worried. Christopher is cute— I’m not
stranger to that— I’ve been training with him for months. I’ve also refused to acknowledge any feelings for him because I didn’t want it to lead to a situation like this. He technically hadn’t asked me out yet. It was barely a confession. However I honestly had no idea what to do if he did ask me out properly. I wasn't even sure of my feelings towards him.
Mich was decked up in his riding gear as I came back down. Leather jacket, boots, dark jeans and a bandanna around his neck. He looked up at me, a spark in his grey eyes. "I'm heading out to ride today. I'll drop you off."
"Alone?" I raised a brow.
He gave me a wry smile. "I'm a forty-five year old man, Fiera. I don't think I need a permission slip."
"You don't." I nodded in agreement and took a seat at the table. "But I worry about you. What if something happens and there's no one there to help you?"
"I was going to say your worries are unfounded." Mich sighed. "I'm heading out with Eric's father today. He wanted to get in touch. I'm a bit afraid Mia will want to meet you as well soon after."
I grimaced. Mia was Eric's mother, Mich's ex-wife who he divorced after their miscarriage turned into a painful marriage. It wasn't long after that the entire tragedy concerning my parents had gone down, following which Mich had taken me and ran. Not knowing he was leaving Wafi to drown in guilt and assume I was dead for sixteen years.
I solemnly chomped into my sandwich, cheese and sausage, but it seemed to have lost some of its taste with the side of bad news. Mich reached out to reassuringly pat my shoulder. "It won't be that bad. Cheer up."
"I'll try." I placed my sandwich down, eyes on a bread crumb. "It's just... I'm... I'm tired of lying to everyone, Mich. It didn't weight that heavily on me in the beginning but.. it just... builds up, you know? Even the small ones."
There was the sound of wood scraping against wood as Mich shifted his chair to my side. I felt his arm slide around my shoulder and I leaned into him to let my head rest on his chest. It felt nice to be able to let go. To talk to someone about this who understood. Wafi and Christopher had grown up owning their identities and their titles, they would never get it.
He rubbed my arm, his chin on top of my head. "I... I know what you mean, kiddo." I closed my eyes. There had been a look of pain in his eyes when it came out that he'd know all along. It was in his voice now. "I had to do it for a long time too. Lie to strangers and the woman I loved, just to protect you."
"But I'm just lying for myself. I'm protecting no one."
"You're protecting yourself." Mich pulled back from me. His hands forced me to look up at him. "I know you don't like it. But for now, do it. For me. It's not that much longer from now that you can show the world who you are."
I felt my gut churn. "I'm going to hurt so many people. All that I've done so far will come under scrutiny."
"I know. Wafi and I were talking about that. He'll figure something out."
"It'll probably be more lies." I pulled away completely from his embrace.
"There'll always be a few lies, Fiera." Mich said quietly, his hand slid off of my shoulder. "That's just the way this world works.
I knew he wasn't wrong but at this point I desperately wished he was. There was too much on my plate. I had to step back and do something about it before either the plate broke or everything spilled over. Either way, I would hurt a lot of people and myself no matter what happened.
I shoved away all these thoughts as I walked into Anchor. Brett looked up from the setting the chairs down and smiled at me. "Morning, champ. How are you today?"
"Good." I stifled an eyeroll. Brett had taken to calling me champ after the win. It had already started to fade away from people's memory, but he was insistent on embarrassing me. "Can you drop that nickname?"
"Nope." He laughed as he strode over to me. "You're the Fire champ! Do you know how much my customers have increased since it leaked you work here?"
"You don't need to tell me, I work in the kitchen, remember?" I pushed him away as I headed in to change. "And I mean it, drop that nickname, or I might accidentally drop some garlic in the coffee of a regular."
Brett gasped, scandalized and betrayed. "You wouldn't!"
I threw a wink at him as I closed the door behind me. "Are you sure about that? I did betray my own team."
Brett didn't drop the nickname. He knew I was joking. This place runs more on the back of regulars than word of mouth anyway, and he'd probably get really angry if I did that. I was busy in the kitchen throughout the rush hour. I actually enjoyed the work. It kept me occupied, physically and mentally, and it was a good change from fighting for once.
As the rush hour died down, I emerged from the back and took a seat on one of the empty tables. A burger out for Brett as I dug into a sandwich ravenously. Brett joined me in a while with milkshakes for the two of us. "Good work today."
"Thanks." I swallowed. "Did your flavour of the month stop by?"
"Who?" He tried to play oblivious, even though his brown eyes were not playing along.
I smirked. "Miss OCD. 'Open tofu veggie burger, sauces on the side, with the tofu lightly golden brown on both sides'."
Brett turned slightly red. "She did. We talked a bit. She ate and left."
"Aww. You didn't ask for her number again?"
"No... She seemed preoccupied. Had a huge file with her." Brett's eyes dropped to the table. "I've been striking out in the dating game a lot. Maybe I shouldn't bother."
I chuckled. "Unlike baseball, it's not three strikes and you're out. You can keep trying. Come on, you'll find someone." As Brett gave me a grateful smile over my optimistic advice, something in me forced itself out. "Do you mind if I ask you for some advice?"
Surprise passed through Brett. He looked up, the burger suspended on it's way to his mouth. "About relationships?"
I grimaced. Might as well get it over with. Quick as a band-aid. "Yeah. I've got a problem... or two."
"With you, the problems never stop coming." Brett gave me a pitying look and nodded, keeping the burger down. "Shoot."
"Well... aah..." I swallowed. "I... uh... I slept with Sean, third place from the Trials." I held up a hand to stop him from interrupting. "And he tried to ask me out. I denied because I don't feel anything towards him. And the thing is... I don't get why I feel nothing towards Sean." I slumped into my seat, frustration finally crawlee over me as I gave in to the doubts I’d been feeling. "I mean, he's sweet, he's good-looking, the sex was certainly great and we do have some good laughs together but... nothing. There's nothing there!" Best not to mention the creepy bit. He'd get mad too.
My mouth opened and closed like a fish a few times as I tried to find words to continue before finally giving up. My eyes fell to the table. "Is there something wrong with me?" I asked in a tiny voice.
Brett sighed softly after a while. "No, Fiera. There's nothing wrong with you. Sometimes even though you think you should, you don't click with people. It's perfectly fine to not be into him but enjoy his company. Make that clear and don't lead him on."
My doubts weren't alleviated but it was a bit of a relief. I glanced up at him thankfully, but it slowly faded from my face as I saw the thoughtful smirk he was sporting.
"What?" I prompted, more anxious than I should be.
Brett's eyes moved to my nervous expression and his smirk widened. He leaned in, smugly resting his arms on the table. "Or maybe... you like someone else."
My first reaction was immediate denial as I stifled a sudden feeling of worry. "No." I rolled my eyes. "You're wrong."
I saw surprise pass through Brett's eyes and I felt my heart sink. "Are... You really do like someone."
"No!" I repeated. "No, I don't."
Brett laughed. "It would be more convincing if you didn't just look like someone found the key to your secret diary." His smug grin turned smugger.
I kept shaking my head. "I don't like anyone. At the moment."
"Okay, let's start with the guys in your life. There's that boy who came for your good luck party. What was his name? Rick?"
"Eric. And, no. We grew up together, he’s practically like my brother."
"Okay, scratch him off. Then there was that guy you were training in Fire with for a while. Rin?"
"Colin. And I haven't talked to him in a long while." I pushed myself away from the table. "This is stupid. I'm going to go work."
"Hey, hey." Brett protested as I stood. "Sit down. There's no customers. Just relax and talk to me."
I paused as I was turning away and glanced at Brett's face. There was genuine interest there. "Come on. It's not like I'm going to snitch. My life is this shop."
I swayed between leaving and staying before giving in and taking my seat again. My head dropped into my hands. "I don't know, Brett. I don't know what's going on in my life."
"Good things, Fi." I felt a hand awkwardly pat my messy ponytail. "It's about time you had something good happen to you. Maybe this is a chance for you to turn your life around. Things seem to have calmed down considerably ever since the Trials." It was mostly ever since that fight with Elizabeth but most people didn’t know anyway.
I looked up at him. "I don't think anything good will come from this."
"Shut up and tell me who's the lucky guy?"
I pressed my lips together. There was irrational fear of saying the name and admitting it out loud. I pushed it away and shook my head. "I can't talk about him. I haven't told anyone about him."
"Ooh!" Brett leaned back, eyes wide. "A secret boyfriend for so long?!"
I grimaced. "He's not my boyfriend. We're friends."
"Friend with benefits, maybe?"
It took two seconds of me glaring at him to make him take his words back. There was silence for a while as I brooded over my never-ending wave of problems. Brett suddenly tapped the table and broke me out of my thoughts, forcing me to look up.
"I have one more name." He was slow to speak, eyes flickered across the tabletop as he gathered his courage. "I might be wrong but... Christopher?"
“No.” I immediately blurted, a roiling in my gut that said otherwise. This wasn’t good.
I kept my face carefully blank but it wasn't long before Brett's eyes widened and he gasped. "Oh my god... it is him!"
I sighed and let my head fall back down. No point in denying it anymore. "Fine… Yes, I hate myself."
"Oh my god! I never imagined you would fall for him! Oh my god, Fiera!" There was a pause followed by a dry laugh. "Well, I never saw that coming. Considering everything that's happened so far... that's come out of nowhere. I never thought you’d fall for a Royal considering how much you hate him… However there is some insanely good chemistry between you two, atleast on screen… in the field.”
"That's not it, Brett." I cut him off, still speaking to the table. "It's not one-sided. He's expressed an interest in me."
"What?!" This outburst was louder. "No. No way. You're delusional."
"I wish."
"When?! Hypothetically, that is." He sounded like he believed it. "Tell me what happened in this delusion."
I pulled away, my back touched the seat. Brett needed to see my face to know I wasn't lying. "Last night. Or early this morning, I guess."
There was a louder gasp. "You slept with him too?!"
"No. No." I was quick to cut that down. Some bitterness crept into my voice at that remark. “Despite what you think, I didn’t sleep with the first place holder too. He was drunk so I drove him home for coffee."
"That sounds like you slept with him."
"No! He was drunk.” I hissed. “He punched Sean so I decided to separate them. And there was no way I was letting him drive home like that. So I drove to my house, gave him coffee, we talked and he left."
"Wait, wait." Brett looked confused. "You're missing something there, when and why did he punch Sean?"
I shrugged. "I don't know. I don't care. Christopher was helping him return some dishes in the kitchen. I walked in a while later just in time to see Christopher punch Sean."
"Why?"
"I don't know." I sighed and pulled my milkshake closer. I remembered the anger in Christopher’s eyes. "I don't care, honestly. I've had my share of drama."
"You say right after you tell me Christopher is into you." Brett gave me a tired look. "Even if that's true, he's dating Elizabeth."
Not anymore. And not for long in the gossip chain. "I've heard they've been going through a rough patch, but I'm not keeping my fingers crossed either. Besides, I'd like normal things to happen to me for once."
"Me too." Brett agreed, slumping in his chair. "I don't know how you handle all this. I'm exhausted already."
That's not the end of it. Brett hasn’t seen anything yet. This was barely the tip of the iceberg. I wanted to spill some more. Tell him the entire thing about how Christopher and I have been friends for a long time, about the reason of the fight. But that was enough. My burden was curbed for the moment.
Brett's eyes roamed the empty cafe tiredly. I heard a car roll up and I sighed, standing up without looking at it. "We have customers."
I cleaned up and headed inside without another word. As I waited for orders, Brett poked his head inside the kitchen. "Uh... Fiera, can you come out here a moment? Please?"
I cocked an eyebrow in confusion. Did we have Royals again? Because I did explicitly remember telling Wafi never to show up at my place of work again.
"What is it?" I asked slowly, not moving from my place. "Who is it?"
He grinned. "It's... it's the Fire and the Water Prince Regent." He was careful to avoid their names but Wafi and Christopher had shown up again. And he was using titles now for some reason. "I need you to wait their table for me again."
I rubbed my face in exhaustion. " Speak of the devil. I should've just left half an hour ago. I am not ready to deal with this."
"Just... please. I know the situation between you and... Christopher now but I have no choice."
I stepped out and brushed past him without another word as I ignored his apologetic expression. Smoothly swiping the notepad and pen from behind the desk, I approached their table. It was an empty time for us. I think Wafi had probably chosen it on purpose.
"Hello and welcome to Anchor." I greeted with forced cheeriness as the two looked up at me expectantly. "May I take your order?"
"Oh, Fiera, right?" I saw surprise pass through Wafi's face. Slipping into the role of the Royal, he smoothly pretended to have forgotten I worked here. He stood up to extend his hand for a shake. "I knew I'd seen you somewhere when I met you in the Trials. What a coincidence!"
I gave a tight laugh as I ignored the hand and stepped back. "Indeed, Prince Regent. But please, I'm working right now. Can I take your order?"
"Well, hello to you too, Fiera." I heard an amused voice speak up from the table. "Thank you for last night." His voice was loud on purpose. I stifled the paranoid urge to glance around the empty restaurant.
I turned my smile down towards those blue eyes filled with amusement. "I couldn't let you drive home drunk. Hello, Christopher."
Wafi laughed loudly and sat down as well. He pointed to the open chair. "Please, join us for a while, Fiera. Tell me about yourself."
The surprise that passed through my face was genuine, followed by fear. I immediately quashed it with a tense smile. "I am still on the hour, Prince Regent, so I'm afraid I mu-"
"You're not denying me." Wafi cut me off. I’m not denying him? I’m his goddamn sister. Looking over my shoulder at Brett, he grinned charmingly. "Excuse me, sir, but do you mind if we talk to your employee for a while? We won't take long."
I turned to see Brett smile sappily, already red as he did so. He'd been played so fast I had whiplash. "Not at all, Prince Regent. We don't have any customers anyway. Please take your time."
"Thank you!" Wafi laughed loudly again, his hazel eyes crinkled at the edges as he turned to me. "Now, please, Fiera. Take a seat."
My movements were stiff and jerky as I pulled out the chair and sat down. My posture was ramrod straight as I sat in complete silence. Wafi's voice was a bit lower as he spoke again to keep it between the three of us.
"I heard about the fight." The one with Elizabeth, I'm guessing, despite Christopher's promise not to snitch. "Sorry I couldn't get in touch with you, I was busy. Are you okay?" I could see the worry in his eyes despite the smile he maintained. I melted a bit.
"I'm fine, Wafi." I spoke softly too, my head turned away from the reception. "But please, you could've come to the house. Why here?"
"Because I barely managed to make time. I can't stay for very long." Wafi sighed.
Christopher nodded and joined in. "We went by your house before coming here. Luckily, this place is empty."
"Luckily." I repeated in a hiss. "Why are you here anyway?"
Christopher cocked a teasing eyebrow. "I don't need your permission to go somewhere. Besides, weren't you the one saying that I usually show up in a pair?"
Ignoring his unfunny jab, I turned back to Wafi. "Let me go to work. The longer I sit here, the more I risk drama."
Wafi nodded. "I wanted to know why you weren't training anymore." He continued, straight to the point.
"With Rhaeya?"
"With Christopher. You need to harness your other... skill completely."
I shook my head. "I can't make any more excuses to spend an hour after school each day. My friends now know that I wasn't training with Rhaeya after class so that lie won't work again."
"Really?" Christopher leaned in a bit, making me stiffen again. "Can't lie anymore, or don't want to?"
I glanced at his searching gaze, unable to hold it as the earlier conversation boiled in the back of my mind. "A bit of both." I replied, unsure if I was talking about my friends or myself.