It was late morning when I woke up, still in my position on the hill. The grass was now covered in dew and dampened my clothes and the sun shone down on me, creating a pleasant feeling of warmth. I sat up and stretched and took a few seconds to process being awake before standing up. I knew I needed to go home, get changed and get something to eat and see my mum who is probably worried sick about me, but instead I walked to the hospital. Once I arrived, I walked up the usual flight of stairs I take to get to Lorna’s room and then jump into the elevator. It’s only 11:30 am so the hospital is pretty quiet as visitors are allowed to come after lunch, but the doctors have allowed me to come when I please, as long as I don’t interrupt anything important between them and Lorna and I don’t come at crazy times.
I walked down the hallway, passing Mrs Bailey’s room, and finally came to a halt outside Lorna and Rosie’s room. I pushed open the door quietly and saw that both girls were asleep.
I walked in and sat down next to Lorna’s bed, grabbing her hand. I squeezed it, but she didn’t squeeze back, because she was obviously asleep, but I kept holding it anyway. For a while I just sat there, looking at her. Her hair was becoming so limp and patchy that I predicted next time I saw her, it would be gone completely. Her face was becoming more thin and pale and her lips were still very cracked. I used the time to carefully lift off her blanket and lift up her gown to look at her stomach. Last time I had seen it was before she came in here and she was taking her sweater off and she accidentally lifted up her shirt as she did so. And I saw all the bruises on her stomach. Big purple and blue bruises, covering her stomach like she had been repeatedly hit but she hadn’t. It was just the cancer battling it’s way from the inside out.
I lifted up her hospital gown carefully and took a glance at her stomach. She had always been thin, but not that thin. I could almost see her ribs and hip bones and as I had suspected, more bruises had appeared and were now covering the entire space of her stomach in their big circles. I bit the inside of my lip to stop myself from screaming in horror and covered her back up with her gown and blanket. I tried to ignore her appearance, but her condition was showing itself right in front of me, reminding me that she’s never going to be okay.
"Niall?"
I looked up at Lorna but saw she was still fast asleep. Her hand was on her chest with a tube leading to her IV bag attached to her middle finger. I just stared at her in confusion and the voice came again.
"Over here."
I then looked over at Rosie, who was now sitting up in her bed. “Hi!”
I smiled. “Sorry, did I wake you?”
She shook her head. “Nope. How long have you been here for?”
"Just got here actually."
She just nodded. Her eyes were brighter today, but like Lorna, her condition was starting to show itself on her body. Her infectious smile continued to shine though.
I looked back down at Lorna, wondering how it was possible for someone to look so beautiful when they slept, when Rosie spoke again.
"You two are really cute."
I gave a light laugh. “Thanks.”
"You remind me of a Disney movie. You’re the prince and she’s the princess." Rosie grinned.
"Really? How so?" I asked in a bright way.
Rosie giggled and turned to fully face me. “Well, she’s so pretty and you’re so…..so handsome…” Then she blushed and looked away.
I laughed, taking her comment lightly. “But then what does that make you?”
Rosie looked back up. “Huh?”
"Well, you’re by far the prettiest girl on this planet! So that must make you the biggest princess of them all!" I cheered.
Rosie giggled again. “I am?!”
"Yeah!" I cried.
She grinned madly at me. “Thanks, Niall!”
I winked and beneath me I felt Lorna stir. I looked down at her and saw her slowly opening her eyes. Once she realised my hand was firmly holding hers, she looked straight up at me in alarm. Then her eyes softened and she smiled at me.
"Hey!"
I kissed her cheek. “Morning.”
I heard Rosie giggle from beside us.
Lorna tried to sit up and after me helping her, she managed to sit safely up in her bed, leaning against the head board. “Why are you here so early?”
I shrugged. “Couldn’t wait to see you I guess.”
Lorna narrowed her eyes at me. “You’re wearing yesterdays clothes! Niall, did you sleep here?”
"No, I actually fell asleep on our hill and I just came straight here."
Lorna smiled at me. “I miss being there, lying under the clouds and singing and laughing. I’d do anything to just go back there…”
The words struck me and before I could say anything, the door burst open and a young nurse came into the room pushing a tray with food on it. She went to Rosie first, handing her a plate of food and then asking her how she was feeling, then she turned to Lorna. “How you feeling, love?”
Lorna took the tray of food that the nurse handed her and set it onto the little table the nurse had also provided, that sat on her lap.
"I’m okay. I’m quite tired though.." Lorna said.
"Tired?" The nurse asked, writing something down on her clipboard. "Are you sore anywhere?"
"Yeah, in my hip area."
I watched as the nurse wrote more onto her clipboard. “Okay, hon. I’ll go get Dr Green and he can give you your medication.”
Lorna smiled. “Thank you.”
The nurse left the room and Lorna started eating her porridge, which, I must say, looked disgusting.
Lorna obviously though so too as she spat out the first mouthful. “The food here is so gross. Nothing has any sugar or salt, so basically nothing has any flavour.”
"What’s wrong with your hip?" I asked her, changing the subject to what I was worrying about the most.
Lorna sighed. “I know what you’re thinking, Niall. I’m fine okay?”
"What’s wrong with your hip?" I asked again.
"Nothing-"
"Lorna!" I snapped.
"It just hurts!" She cried. "It’s like this shooting pain that I get once in a while, but I swear I’m fine."
I frowned and the door opened again and in walked who I supposed was Dr Green.
"Ah, Lorna!" He smiled, either not caring about my presence or not knowing. He walked right up to Lorna’s bed and started flicking through the clipboard the nurse had left at the end of her bed. His smile faltered as he scanned the page. "What’s wrong with your hip, love?"
Lorna ignored my stare and looked at Dr Green. “Every time I move I get this shooting pain in the very centre of my hip and even when I don’t move, there’s still this aching pain.”
I remembered all the bruises around that area on Lorna and I pushed the thought out of my mind. Dr Green stared at Lorna thoughtfully before pulling something a small needle out of his pocket. “I’ll get you to take this and I’ll go get you a stronger pill that will hopefully try and ease the pain, alright?”
Lorna nodded and I realised she squeezed my hand tightly as the needle went through her arm and her body tensed. Dr Green left the room and she turned to me.
"I hate needles." She said.
"You did well. I cry and start screaming at just the sight of those things."
She laughed. “I’m getting used to it, he gives me one everyday.”
The door opens again and another doctor entered, he walked straight past Lorna and I and over to Rosie. After some muffled conversation, he pulled her bed out of the room.
"Bye guys!" Rosie called before the door shut.
"Where’s she going?" I asked Lorna.
"I think she has a surgery today. They put surgery patients in a separate, private room." Lorna replied.
The door suddenly opened again and in walked Noah. He was holding a cup holder with two Styrofoam cups in it and he laughed when he saw me.
"Figured you’d be here." He said, walking over to Lorna and I and handing me one of the cups. "It’s coffee." He said.
I gratefully took it, not really realising how hungry and thirsty I was until I took a sip. Noah pulled out a blueberry muffin from a bag and handed it to me as well. He then gave Lorna a hug.
"How are you feeling?"
"She has a sore hip." I said.
Noah looked at me and then back at Lorna. “Everything okay?”
"Everything’s fine." Lorna said, rolling her eyes. "Where’s mum and dad?"
"They’re coming after lunch. I just thought I’d stop in before I go see Cleo."
"Thanks." Lorna smiled.
Noah pulled up another chair and sat on the other side of Lorna’s bed. “Where’s that other girl?” He asked, looking around the room.
"Moved to D ward." Lorna replied.
Noah looked back at her. “Is she okay?” He asked worryingly.
"Yeah, I think so. She was telling me last night that she was having some sort of treatment today. I think they’re just keeping her there because she’s closest to the medicine and stuff."
Noah just nodded. Then he looked at me. “Oh, Niall, your mum called this morning.”
I stopped in mid-chew. “Why?”
"She was wondering where you were because you didn’t come home last night, but don’t worry. I told her you would probably be here and that seemed to relax her. She said she’s going to come visit this afternoon."
Lorna grinned. “Oh, yay!”
I relaxed a bit. “Thanks.”
The door opened, for what felt like the hundredth time this morning, and Dr Green entered again. He smiled at Noah. “Why, hello! You’re quite popular, Miss Smith.”
Lorna laughed and Dr Green handed her a small white pill. “Take this, love, and the pain in your hip should start to ease.”
"Thank you." Lorna replied, taking the tablet. Dr Green walked out of the room and after I had poured Lorna a glass of water, she swallowed her pill.
"Hopefully it works." She said exasperatedly.
"You said you were tired, do you need us to leave?" I asked her.
"No! I’m fine. No, please don’t leave. Please." Lorna cried.
Noah leant his elbows on the edge of Lorna’s bed. “I should probably go.” He said not moving. He looked at Lorna and she looked back and they both smiled, obviously sharing some bond that I wasn’t fortunate to have and then he laughed.
"I’ll see you tomorrow, okay?"
Lorna nodded. “Go. I have Niall.”
Noah gave a half smile and stood up. “Mum and dad will be here soon and Niall’s family will come this afternoon. I might come later tonight but-“
"It’s okay." Lorna assured.
He kissed Lorna’s forehead and gave her a small hug before walking towards the door. “Bye, Niall!” He called.
"Bye!" I replied.
He waved to Lorna and I before leaving the room and walking down the hall. I suddenly remembered what Lorna had told me when she woke up.
"What if I can take you to the hill?" I told her.
She looked up at me with wide eyes. “What?”
"The hill. Our hill. You said you wanted to go there."
"Well, yes. But I can’t exactly go there. Look at me!"
"Why not?" I pushed.
"Because I can’t leave this bed let alone the hospital. I can’t just go to our hill, Niall." She said shaking her head but despite that, I saw wonder flash through her eyes.
"You want to. I know you do." I said.
"Of course I do, but I can’t." She reasoned.
"What’s stopping you?" I asked, becoming more and more thrilled with this idea.
"The tubes taped to me and the doctors and nurses." Lorna said in a sarcastic voice.
"Take them off and we can out run them." I said.
She just stared at me. “You’re crazy!”
"We won’t be that long! Take your IV bag with you if you need too."
"No, Niall this is insane. We can’t possibly outrun the security! We’ll get caught for sure." Lorna replied.
"So?"
"So? So they’ll catch us and you’ll be banned!"
I laughed. “I will not. Plus, if I am anyway, I’ll find a way back in.”
"Niall, no."
"Oh come on! I know you want to." I grinned.
She bit her lip in pleasure. “What if something happens while we’re out there? What if I faint or be sick or-“
"We’re not going bungy jumping. You’ll survive just sitting on a hill. Come on, you have no reasons to not do this. Lets go before your parents get here!" I said, standing up.
"You’re mad!"
"That’s funny. I remember saying the same thing to you when you were going to jump off the dock at the beach that one time. And you know what you said to me?"
Lorna nibbled on her lip and smiled.
"You told me to jump, and I told you it was too cold. But you jumped anyway. Then do you remember what happened?" I asked her.
She nodded, but I kept going.
"I jumped in after you and I remember feeling so scared that I had lost you. My heart was beating at a speedy pace and when you came back to surface, screaming at the top of your lungs in happiness, I yelled at you. Telling you to never do that again but you just laughed and asked me if I was scared, to which I told you I was and asked you how you couldn’t be. You said you weren’t scared of anything, and I told you that was impossible. No one can be fearless and what did you say?"
"I told you that fear didn’t exist in my world and that there was nothing to be scared of. That fear was just an emotion, not a lifestyle." Lorna smiled, locking her perfect blue eyes on mine.
I grabbed her other hand, so that I was now holding both and I looked her deep in the eyes. “Exactly. So what are we waiting for?”
She gave a huge grin before ripping the blanket off her body and taking off the tubes that were taped to her face and hand. She then stood up, using my weight as support to steady herself. She squeezed my hands tightly, telling me she was okay and I looked down at her.
"Ready?"
She took a deep breath, that came out quite hitched and rough, and then she nodded.
"Lets go."