Birds chirping loudly along with a faint sound of a toad with the trickling water nearby. I slowly opened my eyes just to shut them once again when I stared straight into the bright sun. I let out a small grunt as I turned to my stomach and got up from the sweater I was sleeping on.
I stood up, dusting the dirty leafs off of my knees and backside just to look around noticing Shawn, Normani, and Austin were gone. The kids were resting in the tent Dinah had made and she slept right in front as if she were protecting it. I popped myself back into place feeling much better once the gases were released from in between my bones. I pushed back some of my hair that stuck to my forehead and as a ritual I took my pistol and my pocket knife.
Securely resting them in either my waist band or back pocket I made my way off of the little place we set up. I whistled as if I was hailing a cab and I heard a some twigs or a branch break and I turned towards it.
"Mani?" I whispered and another crunch echoed through the open atmosphere.
"Shawn? Austin?" I hissed hoping someone would answer but no one did causing my heartbeat to speed up.
I slowly walked closer to the sound with my knife out and ready hoping it was something actually alive instead rotting flesh. Carefully moving making almost to no sound and I passed a few trees before sighing in relief. I saw a deer drinking from the water trickling downstream. I then frowned thinking more about the missing members of my crew and felt my pulse raise again.
I quietly moved towards the deer and quickly threw the pocket knife into its neck and as it went to run away I jumped and grabbed ahold of the knife again. Slicing it down until it bled out and died I struggled picking it up but once I did I let out a big breath of air as I pulled it over my shoulders.
I started to walk back to the group but I heard a groan which almost made me drop the heavy ass deer until I heard that voice.
"Jesus Christ man! See, she gets up for five seconds and already gets a bigger kill." Austin spoke to Shawn as he held up a couple squirrels and walked down the small hill.
"Amazing." Normani said in awe and I frowned a bit before looking at the boys.
"What are you guys talking about? It was just over there drinking-"
"I told you we scared it earlier!" Austin slapped Shawn's bare arm and the brown eyed boy shrugged looking down.
"It wouldn't have mattered anyway." He mumbled and walked past me slightly nudging me which only made me frown at the impoliteness coming from him.
"He's still acting like a dick but I think it'll get better. We just gotta get to California sooner than later." Austin smiled at me but I just took a deep breath as I kept my face serious.
"Then we shouldn't waste anymore time now, should we?" I asked and he quirked up his eyebrows.
"Now? But we just got food-"
"Not my problem right now. We'll see if they're hungry when they're up." I mumbled with a small frown wanting to keep moving.
"Y/N..I'm begging you please don't start being an asshole again. He's just going through a very tough time-"
"We all are." I grumbled and turned around as I dropped the deer for him to take and carry.
"Damn it."
"I had that deer." I heard him whisper while Normani chuckled.
"Come on I'll handle the squirrels." She giggled at the dead animals in Austin's hands.
"The one time I step on a branch- I had that deer Mani." Austin spoke determined to let her know that he had the now dead animal.
"Sure you did."
As I reentered the little camp I had noticed Dinah talking to Seth as Lauren yawned as she stood up.
"Girl I need a shower-" Ally cut herself off when she screamed causing us to shoot up and run to her but she jumped away from her bus mat.
"What?! What the hell?!" I yelled but quickly hushed myself knowing we were out in the open.
"There's a spider." She gasped and I stopped everything as I looked at her seriously.
"Ally-" I stopped myself and pinched the bridge of my nose and lightly shook my head.
I heard Lauren start to laugh and I turned around as Shawn skinned the animal he hunted.
"What?! It could bite me and I'll be dead faster compared to those evil people biting me." She crossed her arms as her floppy bun swayed with her body as she stomped her foot to make her point.
"Yeah, true Ally." Lauren's voice wavered as she kept in a laugh and Normani cracked up as Austin tripped over his own foot and the deer fell with him.
"Get it off me!" He quickly said with fearful eyes and I dragged the heavy animal off of his back.
"Thank god! I'm starving." Dinah mumbled as she looked at the deer.
"Well looks like we're staying a bit longer boss." Austin smirked at me as he dragged the deer towards Shawn.
"Yeah, yeah." I waved him off while I looked towards the tent and noticed Hailee stretching with a moan.
"That feeling is amazing." She groaned before giving us a relaxed satisfied smile.
I heard Shawn chuckle lowly and we turned to him to see him laughing at us before shaking his head.
"You all are so...I don't know." He chuckled and turned to the half skinned squirrel.
"Finally warming back up Shawnie sheep?" Hailee smirked at the our friend and he just shrugged again as his smile faded.
"Nice going Haiz." Austin mumbled and Hailee punched his arm.
"Like you could try any better." She hissed and I rolled my eyes as I took another deep breath.
"After we eat we need to get kicking them rocks." I stated as I dug through my bag and the group looked at me as Lauren rubbed Leo's head.
"I want to be in California in the next two days and if we're not I'm killing Tristan." I threatened and Ally frowned slightly as she looked away fearfully.
"Then Connor if we're one more day late." I spoke clenching my jaw knowing it was wrong.
"Okay Y/NN come with me for a second." Dinah stood up and I frowned but she just pulled me up anyways.
She dragged me away while Lauren followed us till we were by the rock with the water trickling down it.
"Listen Y/N you can't just do that. We have boundaries in this group we have alright? They're apart of it too-"
"And what have they done to help Dinah? Look at where we are. If it weren't for them we wouldn't be stuck in some Colorado woods right now." I hissed and she glared at me as she crossed her arms.
"I'm not like others so you better lose the tude before I get rid of it for you." She said lowly but clearly and I looked down at my shoes before sighing deeply.
"I am not backing out of my decision. I am tired of being weak." I whispered as I tensed back up and looked into her eyes.
"Hit me, make fun of me, I don't care but if we're not in California in two days I'm killing one of them." I stood my ground and she just frowned, disappointed in me.
"They wouldn't deserve it."
"They deserve everything coming their way of we don't start heading out now." I firmly said and I felt Lauren's hand rest on my bicep.
"We need to think of the kids!" She hissed at me and I laughed sarcastically.
"I am. Because once we're in California we're settling there." I finalized and I saw Lauren's eyes lighten up which only made my heart pump quicker.
"I hope you know what you're doing because there's gonna be a lot of disagreements when they know you're serious." Dinah frowned and walked away making me look down hoping I wouldn't lose her too.
"Y/NN? You sure that's what you want?" Lauren whispered and I stared at the back of Dinah's head.
"I don't wanna lose time and hope." I whispered slowly, "I don't wanna make another mistake and get stuck somewhere with more walkers."
"I don't wanna lose anyone else and if that means getting rid of the two people who slow us down then I will." I clenched my jaw while tightened my grip on my knife.
"But wasn't Shawn the one who rammed the truck anyways?" She asked me with raised eyebrows and I ignored her question for a minute.
"He was being pressured along with the fact he's having issues of course he's not right in the head-"
"No one is in this group. Don't make excuses up for your friend who's supposedly been there for you. You already got rid of two members why would you wanna keep wasting energy over them?"
"Because! They need to know who's the boss here!" I growled and she just shook her head looking into my eyes.
"You're upset I know but doing this won't change anything I mean for Gods sake you don't even know if Brad and James are dead!" She pointed out with a distressed sigh and I frowned to myself.
"I don't care either way."
"Oh but you will. If they are indeed still alive they're gonna come after you. After all of us." Lauren hissed getting frustrated with me once again.
"You may be the boss but by doing what everyone else says or thinks is right- it's only gonna hurt us all. It's gonna hurt you." She looked me in the eyes as she grasped my cheeks softly.
"You need to keep our little talk yesterday right in your mind because we're gonna protect each other. But if you can't promise to protect me how can I protect you? How can you protect this whole group if you can't do that for me?" She whispered and I felt my heart start to pound against my chest as I stared into her green eyes.
"Don't let her down because she wouldn't want that for you." She whispered patting my chest where my promise ring hung and I felt like my heart just had a hole punched through.
"Think Y/NN, alright? I can't let you or your mind drift away." She said and leaned in kissing my forehead.
"It's my favorite part about you."
She kissed my cheek and walked off leaving me there drowning in a riptide of emotions and confusion. My cheek burned from the fact her soft lips laid upon it and I rubbed my forehead as I looked down at my shoes.
Maybe I didn't have to be so harsh to everyone but I needed things to get done now instead of later. I could be nice when we're safer and far away from this shit forest- if you even call it that.
I made my way to the trickling water and opened up the metal flask from my bag and let it fill up with water until I trailed my eyes down to where it was flowing. I wanted to follow but I also didn't wanna wander off and get lost in the middle of these woods.
I walked back to the group and immediately saw Austin setting up a fire. I looked to Shawn as he dumped his squirrels into some buckets of water washing the excess blood off.
"Where the hell did you guys get all this water?" I asked and Austin smiled up at me as Hailee helped out Shawn.
"There's this creek down the way it's really pretty up close. You can almost see straight to the bottom." He smiled and I looked around as Dinah fixed her siblings hair.
Lauren's group of three conversed before laughing just before Normani glanced at me with a smirk. I quickly looked away with a small confused frown while Lauren slapped her arm.
"Shut up Mani." She giggled shaking her head and I wondered what they were talking about.
"I think it'd be really hot." Normani's whisper popped up and I glanced back just to see Lauren's blush.
"I wonder..the first time will it be against a tree or on top of a random broken down car." She laughed which caused Lauren's cheeks to tint a bit darker than pink.
"I hate you." She blushed causing Ally and Normani to laugh.
I walked around and noticed Tristan laying down as he retied up the sling for his dislocated arm. Connor was playing fetch with Leo and I sat down next to Austin as I looked up to the sky.
"Aren't you worried about the smoke?" I crossed my arms and he looked up and around before shrugging.
"We can defend ourselves." He said before shoving his freshly skinned and washed squirrel onto a stick.
"And what if Brad and James are still alive? They'll know it's us." I mumbled lowly and he looked at me with a worried frown.
"Do you think they're still alive?" He asked in a whisper but I just shrugged.
"I don't know...maybe." I said looking into the flames and he put his head down with a small sigh.
"Then maybe we should get going soon." He said and I nodded agreeing with him as I glanced over at Lauren.
"We need another vehicle, any vehicle to be exact." I mumbled and he nodded as I looked away from the gorgeous green eyed woman.
"There should be a road somewhere around I mean we only went like a few yards into the woods. Dinah might know how to locate where we are she is good at the map stuff." He spoke softly as he slowly turned the meat and I nodded with a small smile.
"Yeah but before we leave why don't we checkout that creek? Maybe we could collect some more water and purify it for drinking. Then we could bathe again? It wouldn't hurt anyone-"
"Yeah so to speak." He chuckled and I nudged him with a small laugh.
"You know what I meant."
"Yeah, yeah." He smirked and then glanced at Lauren then back at me.
"So uh what's up with you and Lauren?" He asked me with raised eyebrows and I frowned in confusion.
"Hm? What do you mean?" I questioned and he chuckled nudging me.
"Come onnn don't bullshit me you totally have something for her." He smiled at me and I immediately denied it as I shook my head.
"No. What? No, what makes you even say that-"
"Y/N. Come on. I see the way you look at her and I see the way you treat her. You two have something that we don't or any of us have." He shrugged pointing it out and I itched the back of my neck.
"She's her own leader." I mumbled trying to deny it but he nervously rubbed his left palm.
"You look at her like you used to look at...Mila." He mumbled and I clenched my jaw as I slowly exhaled from my nose.
I didn't know how to respond because somehow I couldn't exactly accept it, I couldn't handle it.
"Camila can never be replaced-"
"Never said that man. Because how can you? She was a rare gem to this world." He commented and I felt my eyes burn but I shook it off sniffling.
"But it's not wrong to try and move on, she'd want that, she wouldn't want you to keep mourning her everyday. What was it that she used to say? Uh if you keep rereading the same chapter how're you ever going to continue to the next. Keep that in mind buddy. I love you, I don't want you hurt." He patted my back as he stood up and I turned to the flames as I frowned.
"Oh and please pay attention to the meat we don't need anything going to waste." He chuckled before leaning down kissing the top of my head, "It'll be okay, sis."
I gulped when he left as I felt a huge sense of pain hit me, "It'll be okay." Her voice rang through my head like an empty room. I let out a breath of air as if I was suffocating but continued looking into the flames.
Maybe she could accept it, maybe she could accept the fact I could be happy again but I didn't think I could right now. A five year relationship and it ends when it was nothing but greatness. I wasn't ready for it. How could I move on a year later?
Maybe I was making excuses for myself but I knew in my heart or whatever that I wasn't ready. It hurt to even think of her name so how could I fall in love with someone else? I glanced at Lauren and I saw that she was already looking at me with a worried look.
I wiped my eyes finally noticing my tears were about to fall and I cleared my throat. I looked back at her and sighed; But I couldn't help but also notice that I was so much more calm when I was around her. She calmed me down faster than anyone here in this group.
Lauren calmed me down just like her when she was alive and maybe it freaked me out but I knew she was special. Special to me. And she was so undeniably gorgeous that it fucking killed a part of me every time I looked at her.
I gave her a small smile but she just continued to stare at me as if she were analyzing me. I felt my heart tug in a painfully good way before looking into the fire as I turned the stick.
I guess time would tell.
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It's been 3 months lmaoo holy shitt
Anyways I hope you enjoyed and if you didn't then I can assure you, you still won't later on 👀😶
Have a great day or night beautifuls x
-Maddie
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