CHAPTER 11
I woke up by myself the next morning and it took some time to realise where I was until I felt the cold hitting my exposed areas which weren't covered by the quilt. I found a post it note where Xavier laid last night and moving my arms so I was still covered I grasped the note which was scrawled in his boyish hand writing, "Belle, sorry I'm not here with you but I have a radio interview to do this morning then some meetings later on tonight. Hope you have a good day though and I might see you tonight, Xavier x"
After a few minutes in peace and silence I get out of the warm makeshift bed, which was actually the most comfy beanbag I've been on, and find my clothes and shoes from last night. I walk downstairs and after making sure the hallway was cleared run back to my room dumping my stuff on the floor.
I dress into a pair of black leggings and a long grey cotton dress/T-shirt with rolled sleeves. I clip my music note necklace back on and chuck on my white high top converse.
Opening up my macbook and connecting to the mansions Wi-Fi again I check my Facebook before regretting the idea. I have messages from people at school and people I don't know. I have over a hundred new friend requests and many, many notifications. I reply to Lilly and a few acquaintances from school and try and avoid the hate messages. I double check my Facebook Settings fixing it up so that only Friends can message me and see my profile.
On Youtube I have over five thousand new subscribers and I was glad to see that they weren't all of Xavier's fans but people who genuinely liked my covers and who had found me because of my performance from last night.
Jono had emailed me a video clip and a short message saying, "Good job kid. I'm so proud of you."
Opening the video I see it's my performance from last night and I was honestly surprised at how confident I seemed after the first few times. I upload it on my Youtube channel where the response is almost immediate.
Closing my laptop I wonder next door to Roses room and dive onto her bed to wake her up. She groans and gives me a dirty look before falling back to sleep. I see that it's almost nine o'clock meaning it was almost breakfast time. I jump up and down on her bed, "Come on, let's go, it's breakfast time!" I sing.
She whacks me with a pillow so I belly flop on top of her.
"You're so annoying," she mutters. I grin, "I know." And then I push her out of her bed. She stands up trying to keep her balance as her eyes become accustomed to the light, "Why am I friends with you?" she mutters.
"Because you love me," I sing. She marches to her wardrobe and slams the door shut. I wait five minutes before she walks out fully dressed; with a smile.
"Hi Annie, how are you this morning?"
She's wearing a black T-shirt and short overalls with high top converses with the US flag printed onto it.
I glance at her and say, "Who are you and what have you done to Rose Carter."
She flips me the bird and we laugh walking downstairs.
After breakfast which was bacon and eggs in a bagel and was fabulous, we head out on our break, before the eliminations tonight, to walk through the main town. I needed a new journal to write more songs in so we stopped by a Newsagency which supplied stationary which we went into. I found a brown leather bound notebook and got a new Biro in case. As I went to the counter I saw Rose flicking through a magazine smirking.
Once I paid for the purchases she saw me head over towards her and she held the magazine cover up.
"Xavier has found his Cinderella!"
In bold was written across the front page with a photo of Xavier, the shows logo and a group photo of all of us from the talent night.
The article was mainly speculation over who the girl might be after he had spilled about 'fancying' one of the girls on a radio interview this morning.
In another magazine there was a few paparazzi shots of Xavier partying a club and there were at least three photos of him hooking up with different girls. You couldn't see his face clearly, just the back of his head, his brown hair coming out a beanie. You couldn't even verify that this was him in the photos except that the magazine had included a snapshot of his Twitter profile with his tweet reading, 'Great night out at the clubs'. My heart seemed to hurt a little bit as I saw the pictures but I was confused. The other night he was there when Jono gave Coco back to me. That feeling at in my gut told me something was wrong with this.
Before I could read anymore, a fourteen year old girl came up to Rose and I and asked, "Are you Rose and Annie?"
Rose smiles kindly and nods her head. I let out a small chuckle when the girl squeals a little trying to contain her excitement, "Can you sign this please?" She asks with puppy eyes.
Rose laughs and takes the pen signing the receipt the girl held out to us and I sign after. The girl gives us both hugs and then says, "I hope one of you two will win!"
We say thank you to her before we leave the shop so we could get back to the mansion in time.
The second I enter through the double doors, Jo pounces on me and drags me up to my room and pushes me into a seat, "You're late, where have you been?"
I tell her the story of meeting the fan and everything while she does my make up making my eyes dark, covered with eyeliner and mascara topped with gold and black eye shadow and my lips blood red. This time she straightens my dark hair and brushes it so my fringe covers a bit of my eye. One of her assistants paint my nails blood red, the same as my lips.
Soon she pushes me into my wardrobe with some clothes and I change into something I thought I would never have to wear. It's a skin tight black dress with a high neckline but a low cut back and short sleeves which came to midway down my thighs. The dress fits comfortably like a second skin and hugs all my curves. I then slip my feet into black platform shoes with thick straps and a golden heel.
I walk outside and give Jo a look. "What is this?"
She looks at me and grins, "I wanted to try something new. I saw some reports saying that you're too innocent for someone with Xavier's reputation and so I wanted to bring out your dark side."
I shake my head. So far I hadn't seen Xavier's "wild side" whether it just wasn't true, although there are pictures everywhere, or maybe he was just a different person in front of cameras and behind them.
But if that was so, which Xavier is the real one?
I cover myself with my silk robe as I felt so exposed. When Jo pushes me outside and Rose is there in a baby pink, poofy princess dress which finishes above her knees, the robe is ripped off me and Rose grins, "Girl, you look so hot!" she says in a valley girl voice.
I roll my eyes and wrap my arms around my torso but Jo slaps my arms away and shakes her head, "uh-uh," she tuts, "You have to be confident or it doesn't work. You have to prove to America that you can be a bad girl too."
"But I'm not," I mutter.
She shakes her head, "You have to fool them; I know you can do it."
I sigh and Rose and I walk downstairs, me pulling my dress down every step of the way."
Rose laughs at me. "Stop fiddling with it, you look great."
We make our way to the big lounge room and I see Xavier talking to Elliot in the corner. He looks over when the doors open and I couldn't believe his expression when he sees me. His eyes pass over me at first and he looks behind me as if expecting someone else before shock crosses his face and he takes me in dumbstruck. Finally he catches my eye and I give him a small smile and he grins back at me.
Rose and I make our ways to our seat and the tense environment between the girls makes us fall into silence.
Five girls would be going home tonight leaving ten girls behind.
Soon enough the theme tune is playing in the background and Elliot introduces the show. One girl will be eliminated after each ad break.
As the show went on I surprisingly got more and more nervous and was completely shocked when I realized that I didn't want to leave the show right now. I wanted to stay a bit longer.
So when the last rose was handed to another girl I breathed a sigh of relief. Elliot wrapped the show up afterwards and few girls lingered around. I needed to clear my mind with my confused feelings at the moment.
I walked out of the room like I was in a trance and made my way upstairs to my room but instead I took the key from around my neck and opened the door which led upstairs to Xavier's sanctuary. It was empty so I sat myself at his desk and looked around the room.
On his wall there were so many photos of him meeting so many people I looked up to.
I was kind of envious. I wanted a life like he did.
I wanted to produce albums and sell singles worldwide and becoming number one on the charts.
I also wanted to stand up against pop culture on behalf of all the girls out there. The way we are portrayed in the media I absolutely hated. How some men sing degrading songs about women, how music video clips showed women merely as objects.
I mean, there's got to be more to music.
Instead of just love and sex, there's definitely got to be more to music.
There's so much more happening in the world which these people turned a blind eye to and I just wanted to be up there so at least the rest of the world can see that there's more to music, more to girls and more to life.
I faced his desk and saw his macbook which was left open. Touching the mouse pad the computer woke up and I was greeted by his background which was a photo taken when Xavier when he was younger, maybe twelve. There was his beautiful mum next to him with an arm wrapped around his shoulder and his dad next to his mum with an arm wrapped around her waist. She was smiling and had flowers in her hair. She was wearing a floral maxi skirt and white singlet and her wavy golden hair framed her young face. She looked peaceful.
Mr. Matthews looked peaceful as well and less stressed, even Xavier seemed happier and peaceful.
On his desktop there were two folders which caught my attention the first one said 'Different Worlds Final'. I knew that his first and only album was called Different Worlds because I had to buy it for my sister for her birthday. The other folder had the words "Original Songs."
Opening I saw hundreds of mp3 files of songs I've never heard of. Turning the volume down, I opened one and immediately was greeted by an alternative acoustic sound. And then Xavier sang.
It was literally indescribable.
I turned it up louder as the room filled with the relaxing music in the background and the authentic voice of Xavier Matthews which no one in the public has ever heard before.
The song nearly finished when I voice spoke, "Did you like it?"
I jump and spin around to face Xavier himself. He looks nervous as he waits for my verdict.
"Xavier! It's absolutely incredible how come it didn't go on the album?"
He shrugs but noticeably relaxes when he knows I like it.
"Can I listen to more?"
He walks over to the desk and pulls out a USB stick and hands it to me.
"All of those songs on it are written by me, lyrically and most of the guitar. I had help with some other instruments."
I nod and take the USB putting it into my jeans pocket.
"Just make sure they don't end up on the internet or something."
I nodded, "I promise."
We hang out for a while discussing our favourite bands and type of music and despite his music, we both had a similar taste in bands. Soon he gets a call from his manager saying that he had an interview to do so together we left the attic and he was rushed to his car while I went back to my room. I take the USB and put the songs from it onto my tunes and then sync it with my iPod. While the computer was loading it I saw titles from his album which had "Original" written in brackets next to it.
It soon finished and I shuffled the songs. A song called Whisperer came on. Xavier's deep, rocky voice sang the first voice acapella with no instruments and goose bumps appeared on my arms.
After the intro a beautiful piano melody joined in and another track of him harmonising the painful lyrics made it sound almost ghost like. The lyrics were sad and grieving and I knew immediately he was singing about his mum. The bridge was him, completely stripped down, without the piano and without the harmony and he sang in a merest whisper, 'And I, will always love you. As you hold me in your arms and your whisper fills the air'.
I teared up. I actually teared up. This was real Xavier. Pure and golden Xavier and this was the beautiful Xavier hidden away from the rest of the world which only I have seen. I didn't care anymore about his reputation, who knew if it was real or not. But I couldn't believe that the boy who wrote this heartbreaking song could be the guy sleeping around with girls and getting on the bad side of law.
He had a heart.
A heart of gold.
But people didn't know that, as people had blackened his soul and the world moulded him into what they wanted.
They forgot that he was human after all.
A/N: Hope you guys liked this chapter I want to try and draw at the chapters a bit more do he book will be longer; at least hopefully 30 chapters.
Question of the chapter: One goal you want to achieve in life?
Much love,
Alexis x