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Justine
I wasn't able to fall asleep that night. I was worried about Demi. Although she left in a better mood I'm so sorry for her. I'm a stranger for her, we've only met two days ago and she opened up her heart for me. I really hope she gets all the help and support she needs and deserves. It is 3 am and I should really try to get some sleep. The wedding is today and it is going to be a long day. I check my phone the last time. A new message from Demi.
D: "I want to thank you once again, Justine. You are amazing. I'm glad you took that seat next to me! I'm thankful that I've met you! Sweet dreams!"
Knowing that she feels better I drift off to sleep.
My night was short and Alex woke me up around 7 am. "Get up, Justine. I need your help!" she shouts in my room. I promised her to help her with her make up and the hair. I'm not that good at it, but she wants a natural looking make up as well as with her hair. And I am able to do that.
One hour later all of her bridesmaids arrived at the house and I was already stressed. They are screaming and laughing and running around. They make me feel nervous and I am tuckered out. The wedding hasn't started yet. Jesus Christ. Hopefully they calm down soon.
I take a long shower to hide from them for a time and cover myself in a towel. I fall on my bed and take my phone.
J: "Hey! Thanks for your message last night! You are amazing too! Don't forget that!"
D: "Thanks! ;) Ready to party?"
J: "Not really, I'm feeling like a watchdog in a nut house. They are all insane! My kids in kindergarten are so much easier to handle!"
D: "It's a wedding, her wedding. Make it special for her and relax!"
J: "I will. Time to jump in my dress! Call you later!"
6 hours later
What a romantic wedding. Patrick cried when he saw Alex with her dad leading her to the altar. I couldn't help myself either. She was so beautiful and they are so cute. Their vows gave me the rest. They were so personal and spoken with so much heart and all of their emotions. I hope that I find a girl to tell her that as well one day. I kept my promise and sang "A thousand years" for them. I sang that for them after a dinner they'd invited me. They had an argument and didn't really care that I was there with them. I just sat myself down in front of the piano and started singing. I'm not sure why but it all ended with both of them crying in each others arms and my promise to sing this song on their wedding day.
We are in the restaurant for hours. After eating, dancing and those wedding games and I just stand outside to breath some fresh air. I have the need to call Demi.
D: "Hey, nice hearing from you! How was the wedding? Everybody still crazy?" I smile.
J: "All good. It was really touching. But I want to go home now. How was your day?"
D: "Great. Wanna hang?"
J: "Good idea. Can you pick me up?"
Demi
I got in my car and drove to the restaurant, where Justine was standing outside. That dress! Jesus, this girl is so beautiful. She jumped in and asked me to drive her to the apartment. She wanted to change her clothes. "But you are really pretty in that dress!" I wink at her. Her cheeks blushed but she didn't say anything.
She got changed in a comfy outfit and asked my permission to drive my car. "Where are we going?" I asked her after she put something in the trunk. "It's a very special place and I want to surprise you. So stop asking!" she said and I was really curious. We drove out of the city and about 40 minutes later she stopped the car on a little parking lot. It was next to the coast. I could hear the ocean and we were able to see the city lights. "Ready to climb?" she asked me and reached for my hand. We climbed over a big rock, walked down a short path and finally we arrived at a pleasant little spot surrounded from cliffs. She laid a blanket on the ground. It was sandy and the view was stunning. We could see LA by night in front of us, the moon and stars were above us.
Justine
I love this place. I went there whenever I felt homesick or sad. It was a good place to clear your mind and to relax. I never met people here, it is like a hidden place. The view is breathtaking and I can see that Demi is really impressed. I sit down on the blanket and ask her to sit with me. I give her a paper plate and ask her to hold mine too. "I organized us a piece of the wedding cake. I hope you like chocolate." She smiled at me and nodded. We ate the cake in silence. "That place is so beautiful. I like it here" she said. "I love it too. A friend showed it to me." "Do you take all of your dates here?" she asked me smiling. "First of all this friend is a guy. And as you already know I am a lesbian. And second, you are not a date. You are a wonderful person and I hope we become friends, because I really, really like you!" I told her. After that I laid myself down watching the stars. Demi looked at me, laid back too and rested her head on my chest. I covered us with a second blanket. I started to play with her hair again. "I'm gonna miss you Justine!" she said. "I'm going to miss you too. But I will come back to LA during a school break in May. And you are a super superstar, you can afford a ticket to New York, right?" She started giggling. "And we can call each other!" "Yes, but that's not the same." she replied. "It's so easy to talk with you about everything. I trust you and... I don't know. What if I need you because I struggle with...with!" "Sshhh, you won't. I know that. You are so strong. And I hope you have a support system here. Don't you?" "I have. And they are amazing. But I got drunk although I have them. It's different with you. It's like I can let myself fall back and you are here to catch me." "Just be honest with yourself and them. Talk to them about your feelings, about all you told me yesterday. Get all the help you need! You deserve to be happy. And we are staying in touch as much as possible." I promised her. I kissed her forehead and after an hour laying there, watching the stars and chatting about all and sundry we decided to drive back to the apartment.
"Oh my god, Demi. It's 2 am. You are way too late!" I notice. "No, I told them that I am out tonight. It's ok when they know it." she says. "So then, wanna come in for a tea or a coffee? Nobody is home, Pat and Alex are already on their way to honeymoon." I tell her.
Demi
We sit down in the living room and Justine hands me a cup of tea. "Can I ask you something?" I look at her. "Sure!" she says. "When did you notice you are lesbian? And how did your family and friends react?"
"Lucky for me it was all so easy. No drama and a lot of sympathy. I always knew that I was more attracted to girls. But my first relationship was with a boy. Well it was no real relationship. I was 13 and so super cool. He was cute, Michael. But we only held hands and kissed. It was not that serious, you know, he broke up with me after 4 weeks, I felt terrible though." She laughed and continued. "Later that year a new girl started in my tennis club. There was something on her and she gave me my first butterflies. We had a summer tournament at the tennis club and afterwards there was a big barbeque. We went for a walk and suddenly she kissed me. I was on fire. I had goosebumps all over my body and I really enjoyed this kiss. And I knew that I am a lesbian since then. I was afraid to talk about it with my parents. I still don't know why because one of my dad's friend is gay and my parents were always so tolerant about peoples way to live. They never judge people. But I wasn't ready to talk to them. I was afraid to talk to my best friend Jody so I kept it in me. During the summer before my 15th birthday I was in South England at my godparent's place. My aunt is my dads sister and she married my uncle who is from there. I met a bunch of teenagers on the beach. And I also met Rose. She was on vacation as well and we connected immediately. One evening she picked me up and we went down the beach. I told her about my homosexuality and she leaned in for a kiss. She told me that she is lesbian too. Well and two days later I had my very first time. It was... well. I enjoyed it. We both just didn't really know what to do." She grinned at me. "When I came back home I opened up in front of my parents. The first thing my mom said to my dad was "I knew it and I've told you." Then they hugged me and that was my coming out with them. Really easy. I sat all my sisters down one evening and they were also very supportive and happy for me. And the next one was Jody. My very best friend. I was so nervous. I know this girl my whole life. We experienced so much together and she knew everything about me except that one little thing. But I told her and she was very cool as well. She only wanted to know if I've ever had feelings for her." "Did you have feelings for her?" I ask her. "Omg, no. Never. She is just the best friend I can ask for. I felt better after telling them. It was a release. At that time I was already in the middle of my education for my kindergartenteacher diploma. I was in a class with 25 girls. They liked me, I was class representative and we had a great time. A few weeks after I've told my family I wanted to speak with them. It was kind of a risk, because the school system in Austria is completely different than here. You stay in a class with the same 25 people for all subjects for five years. That time we were a class for two years already and there were three to come. So I stood there in front of those girls and told them. And really no one had a problem with it. If only one of them had had a problem with that, had judged me or even bullied me, I had to stay in the same class for another three years! I started crying because of the huge support and after I've told them I didn't care what anyone else thought about me. There were haters and people who couldn't cope with it, but I didn't mind. The most important people in my life had no problem. That was all that mattered to me. Even my grandparents were super chilled. And about six months later I found my first girlfriend. She was 17, I was 15 and it was a nice relationship. But after 3 years she broke up with me. I thought my world would fall apart. I was so lovesick. And I had my first and only one night stand after that. Surprise - it was with a boy. I didn't like it. I tried to persuade myself that I'm straight, but it didn't work. I stayed single until I moved to Vienna. I had dates, but nothing serious came out of it. Then I met Anna." She says and sighs. "But that's another story!"
"Thank you for sharing your story!" I say and lay my head on her lap. "What about you and your lovelife?" she asks me and strokes my hair. "Well, honestly I regret a lot of things when I think about it. I had my first kiss when I was 9." "What? Nine? Wow, that's really early." she says and looks into my eyes. "Yeah, but it was harmless and really awkward. I didn't like it!" I giggle. "Peter was his name and he had a brace. My first time was when I was about 14. I didn't enjoy it that much. I wasn't ready but pretended to be. I had some boyfriends, but no relationship was very long. I've already had to deal with... with my problems and I was so afraid that they found something out. I wasn't able to trust people and I also held my walls up high. I let them down a couple of times but they always let me fall. I decided to pretend that I don't need love. I had a lot of one night stands and afterwards I felt terrible and empty. I tried to let feelings out of my love life, kind of illogical, right? I wasn't nice to people and I was literally out of control. My life was very, very dark, not only because of my big talent in things called love. I was a mess.I felt so lonely. My addictions and the self harming got really bad. I was desperate. Then I met Wilmer and he was able to give me the feeling of being home. I felt safe when I was around him and I opened up. He tried his best to help me with my problems, but things got worse and I went into rehab. He stayed with me, but as you know, we had no happy ending. He hurt me with this girl and I knew that if I had stayed with him, I would give up myself and all the things I stand for." I sigh and feel tears running down my face.
Justine
That was so sad. She brings tears in my eyes and between the lines I could hear her need of secureness, love and understanding. I dry her tears with my thumb. "Do you still love him?" I ask her.
"A part of me still loves him, yes. And I think this part will always love him, because he helped me through a lot. On the other hand I think the last months of our relationship were only a routine. We hardly spoke with each other, there was no tenderness and we just lived next to each other. Maybe he did me a flavor with his cheating. I don't know." She speaks quietly and closes her eyes. I run my fingers through her hair. "I can't believe you are only 19. You are so mature and reflected for this young age, it's unbelievable." I don't know what to say.
She smiles at me, it is a sad smile, but there is this sparkle in her eyes and I am sure, she will get over that.
We continue talking until the sun rises. "Demi, it's about time. I have to go to the airport in an hour!" I say and have this tight feeling in my chest." "I know, I was just hoping this night will never end! I enjoy being around you. It's like you are my guardian angel. It feels so right to tell you everything." she says and hugs me. "You can trust me, Demi! I'm always here for you because I know you are always her for me! I think it was our providence meeting each other!" I tell her. I hug her one last time and try to safe this feeling. "Bye sweetie!" Then she walks out of the apartment to drive home.
I get myself ready for my flight back to New York. My mind full of emotions, new experiences, a special new friend and the feeling, that these past few days were the start of something special.