Chapter Twenty-Nine
My heart was racing. Julia what is wrong with you? What did you get yourself into this time? I’m so insane! I’m such a maniac sometimes! Calm down. I can do this. Breathe. My chest was going up and down. What was I doing?
Trembling, I knocked on the door of the house that would be the location to seal my fate, and end all internal suffering; whether it was for the better, or for the worse. I anxiously peered around my surroundings. It was the exemplary neighborhood. Streetlights hung overhead, illuminating the darkness of the night. Each house had a front light on, and looked to be at peace. The house I was standing at now also looked to be as quiet as the others, but in about a minute things could potentially flip.
“Coming!” I heard a male voice call from within. I held my breath with every second weighing farther down on my shoulders. Then I heard it. A lock was turning, and the doorknob revolved. There was still a chance to turn back and leave. I didn’t have to do this. No, I did. I needed to do this. I needed to get it all out. It was a requirement- not an option.
The door opened, and in an instant I was standing face to face with the person who could change my life. He looked at me, a bewildered expression meeting his face, clearly not expecting me.
“Jules,” he said, stepping out of the house, and closing the door behind him.
“Chase,” I said.
“Why are you here?” he asked straightforwardly, putting his hands into the pockets to his side, as a placeholder.
“Why are you wearing sweats?” I countered back as if on reflex. I always do that! Whenever I’m in an uncomfortable situation, I always turn it around to avoid what I really want to say!
“Because it’s eleven o’clock at night, and, like any normal human being, I generally tend to chill in sweats,” he answered. “Now, why are you really here?”
“I wanted to talk to you- face to face.” I could’ve come up with a brilliantly clever remark, but I resisted. This was no time for sarcasm (though it is one of my better traits).
“Oh. About what?” he asked, giving me a look I couldn’t quite decode. It was a mix of interest and something else unknown to me.
“Ya know… stuff,” I stalled, sitting down on the stoop so he couldn’t see my face.
“Actually, I don’t know, do explain,” he prompted, dropping beside me. He spread his legs out so one of his knees brushed against mine, and the other was surrounded by air.
“Do you really want to know?” I asked, filling my lungs with the crisp hour-till-midnight air.
“Yes, I do,” he said, nudging my leg with his own.
“Chase, this goes against almost every fiber in my body,” I said, tapping my foot nervously on the wooden step.
“What do you mean?”
“You’re a jock! You’re the quarterback! You’re popular!”
“So?”
“You’re the boy every parent dreams of having, and in my mind, you’re not supposed to fit in my life. I’m supposed to want someone different, and edgy, and… not you, but I don’t; I want you! I’m not supposed to like you, and yet… I do! It’s terrible, I know. But I can’t control it!” I said, my cheeks flaming up with nervousness. My stomach was doing backflips, anxious to hear what he’d say.
“So what exactly do you want?”
“I want… I want… I want you Chase!” I said, letting it all out on the open. There, I said it. The build up of emotion emitted from me like a volcano oozing with hot lava.
“So, you like me?” he asked, smiling devilishly at me.
“Yes!” I said, my heart about to explode out of my chest.
“That’s nothing to be ashamed of Jules, because I’ll tell you a little secret, I like you too; have for about three years.” My heart sprinted as if it was just coming to the last few yards at the end of a marathon. That wasn’t the rejection I had anticipated for.
“When you told me about the Emily thing, it gave me a new understanding of everything,” I admitted.
“Good, that was my intent.”
“Shocker,” I mumbled.
“What time is it?” he asked, letting out a yawn.
“I don’t know…” I slipped out my phone, and pressed down on the home key, the entire screen brightening with the time, recent texts, and my abstractly bright background. “11:12.”
“11:12? Quick, make a wish!” he commanded.
“Why?” I asked, putting my phone away.
“Just make one!”
“Okay,” I said, closing my eyes, and wishing that somehow this muddle of situation would work itself out, and the two of us could work something out (so in other words, I wished for “him”).
“What’d you wish for?” he asked.
“Him,” I said simply. “Why were we wishing?”
“Because over the years, and with having an older sister, I’ve learned that most teenage girls like to make a wish on 11:11-” he started to explain.
“But we wished on 11:12..?” I said, recalling the tradition he had voiced.
When I was younger, I never went to bed before 11:11. I needed to make a wish, and then I could go to sleep. I was like a slave to that time. I later realized that the world possessed no magical capabilities, and that staring at your clock for endless minutes until a certain number appears is a bit ridiculous.
“Exactly,” he smirked, “you’re not like most girls. You’re individual, independent, different, but most importantly- you’re Jules.”
“Damn right I am. So, what did you wish for?” I asked as he accomplished the same feat Logan had just a short hour ago, by uniting our hands together. But this time, I didn’t let go. Butterflies were beginning to flutter about in my stomach, and, unlike Logan, he was causing me to erupt with worry.
Feeling the warmth of Chase’s hand gave me a feeling of security- the last time I had experienced that emotion was when I was hugging Josh, moments before I witnessed him kiss Cassandra. Amazing how in a matter of seconds you can go from loving and feeling safe with someone, to hating their guts.
“Her,” he said, paralleling my own answer to the female equivalent.
“Really?”
“No, I actually wished that a certain girl would let me kiss her,” he said, tucking a loose strand of my wavy hair behind my ear so he had a better view of my face.
“And who would this girl be?”
“Emily Roberts,” he said seriously, before cracking a smile. He leaned in closer to me, his face inches away from mine, but pulled back abruptly. “Jules, do you want me to kiss you?”
“I don’t know; do you want to kiss me?”
“I only want to kiss you if you want me to kiss you,” he said, tangling up the words so that the outcome slightly confused me.
“I don’t know about all that crap, but I do know that I do want to kiss you,” I said. He placed his free up to my face, caressing my cheek in a caring manner.
“A while back, you said, and I quote, ‘I am never going out with you’. What happened to that mentality?” he asked.
“I was still dating Josh then, and I didn’t want to confess to my heart that I still had unresolved feelings for you; I always have Chase,” I said, as he gave my hand a light squeeze.
“So then, can I kiss you?”
“Yes!” I said, as his face moved over to mine. I felt the softness of his lips link with my own, and almost melted. Our lips meshed together for a brief ten seconds, and then Chase ruined it. He pulled back again, and our eyes locked.
“Jules, will you be my girlfriend?” he asked. I had been asked that question only two other times over the course of my short life (I think it’s actually three, but I rejected the third, so it doesn’t count in my book), by Mason and Josh. Both times I had heard those words, I was in utter shock- this time being no different. Thing is, this time, I think I want that to be the last time I ever hear that sweet phrase.
“No,” I said, earning a stunned look from Chase.
“What?”
“I don’t like labels,” I clarified. I hate labels. I feel that it’s stereotypical, and extremely judgmental.
“I don’t care, I want you to be my girlfriend,” he said, “unless of course you’d rather not be with me…”
“Huh. Be the quarterback’s girlfriend? I don’t know about that…” I mused.
“No, I didn’t ask you to be the quarterback’s girlfriend, I asked you to be my girlfriend,” he said.
“Well, when you put it that way, I think there’s only one correct answer to that question,” I said, leaning my head against his shoulder. “Yes.”
“If this was a test, you just passed Jules,” he said, placing his arm over my shoulder.
“But it’s not a test, and I don’t like tests, so I neither passed, nor failed,” I commented.
“Okay Jules,” he said, looking out into the night sky, “I have a question.”
“Uh huh, what is it?”
“So… can we make this Facebook official?” he begged, sliding his hand into my back pocket where I had placed my phone. He withdrew the small electronic device, and started tapping away.
“Do we have to?” I groaned.
“Hell yes!” he said, his fingers drumming about on the screen. I watched as he changed my relationship status and added a new status. I couldn’t quite make out the status, so I reclaimed my phone, and gave it a better look after he had posted it. It read: Jules and Chase- forever and always<3.
“Can you sign in on yours for me?” I asked, passing him back my phone. He nodded, clicking a few spaces, and typing a collection of letters in.
“Here,” he said, as I viewed he was now logged on. I changed his relationship status to match the one he had just put as mine, and put his status as: Chase and Jules- always and forever<3.