Chapter 5 More Truth Comes Out
Once again, Ogata applauds the scene-changes Kyoko and Ren did, as the two of them come back to reality...both trying hard to pretend that was nothing more than an acted scene for a movie.
"You two are really something else! Ya know, I was actually hoping you two would diverge from the script and improve it. It's a great storyline, but it's pretty flat. I asked for you two because I knew you could liven it up! And you have! Please continue to do so!"
After thanking Ogata, the two actors head to their dressing rooms to ruminate about what just happened on set as they change into their regular clothes.
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Kyoko, whilst changing, thinks to herself. Wow. While it was happening...I felt like I was on another world! Kissing and touching him like that was more heart-pounding than I've ever imagined! And I just did it automatically, without even thinking! It's a damn good thing it was in the script! Hell, I'm embarrassed even though it was! I mean...did he know I wasn't really acting? Does he think I'm a perv now? But then again...when we broke apart...he was breathing hard, which could be acted, but his face was flushed! He told me just before the scene that's impossible to act! Was he really that into it too? Those scripted words he changed that seemed so real....were they? I have to know now, as embarrassing as it's going to be to look him in the face again after this...
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Ren smiles to himself as he changes back into his regular clothes. She wasn't acting. I could tell. I could feel it. It is really true then...how she feels. No wonder my deception hurt her so deeply...but I know I have a chance now.
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Ren is about to get into his car when Kyoko shouts his name, running toward him. Ren is happily surprised. But once she's caught up to him, Kyoko feels suddenly embarrassed, her cheeks turning crimson, and she looks down. "I-I wondered—if I could get a ride with you, Tsugura-san."
Ren almost falls over. "O-Of course! Hop on in!" He feels like grinning from ear to ear, but with a little (or a lot) of effort, he manages to keep it a small, friendly, un-creepy size.
Once safely out of the parking lot and away from other people, Ren asks, "Where to?"
"Y-your place. I've decided to hear your story."
Ren's eyes and mouth drop in shock, but his face quickly changes to one of sheer, undisguised joy. "You bet!" he replies cheerfully, now unable to hide his grin.
Kyoko fails to notice, though, with her hands folded together in her lap and her eyes focusing down on them as if she were struggling to see them. Her face is red to her ears, realizing she was now alone with Tsugura-san, in his car, right after a steamy scene like that! She really did want to hear his story now, but she had forgotten about the lovey-dovey-sexy-hot scene they had just done prior to her running up to him and calling his name just like she used to, as if nothing out of the ordinary had happened. She is embarrassed through and through, and has no clue what to say.
Ren knows she is embarrassed, though. He has to take her mind off it and make her comfortable around him again. He wants to congratulate her honestly for a job well-done in that scene, no matter the reason for it, but knows that could make her so uncomfortable she would change her mind on going to his place to hear him out and insist on being dropped off immediately, right where they are, no matter how far it is from her home. He has to think of something to say to put her at ease—especially since the conversation they are going to have at his house is not going to be easy to get though.
"Well, Mogami...you only have two months of school left and you'll graduate! Are you excited?"
Kyoko is still a bit ruffled and a little uncomfortable talking to Ren after having hated him so much, as well as having just done such a steamy scene with him earlier, but she welcomes the end of the even more embarrassing and perturbing silence.
"Yeah, actually I am...because, ya know, before...I never even thought I'd get to go to high school, much less graduate!"
Ren turns his head to smile at Ren happily, but she barely catches it as she immediately turns her head away from his the moment their eyes meet.
"Do you have anything special planned for that day?" asks Ren casually. "Like a party?"
"Well no, not really. Actually, I never really thought about it. I've been so focused on just getting my work done, for school and work, I hadn't thought that far ahead. Even if I wanted to have a party, though, I don't really have any friends at school; my only friends are from work. So it's not like I could have a real teen bash or anything. But that's ok. Just graduation is celebration enough for me!" Without thinking, Kyoko's happiness at that thought causes her to forget her discomfort, and she turns her head to Ren to smile at him—to catch him smiling back at her.
He seems just like his regular self—the Tsugura-san I know. That smile is real. I'm glad I've decided to hear him out. I'm sure there are a lot of things I don't know about him...things I've always been curious about, wanted to know about...and now he wants to tell me of his own free will. I actually feel privileged. I'm an idiot for taking this long to realize that.
"Ts-Tsugura-san?"
"Hm?
"I-I just wanted to apologize for being such a bitch to you. I don't know what you're going to tell me, but...I know you really never meant me any harm. I should have immediately heard you out instead of getting all bent out of shape. I'm sorry I lost sight of my trust in you."
Ren's face pinks a little, but the corners of his mouth turn up.
"Thank you for that, Mogami. You don't know what it means to me to hear you say that. Losing your trust in me was quite painful, though I realize it was my own fault. But there will be no more secrets after today. Then we can put all this behind us. Like a bad dream." He turns to her and smiles again, and Kyoko returns it—both smiles equally sunny.
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"Hey, we're here!" announces Ren. "Talking while driving sure makes the trip seem a lot shorter, huh?"
Kyoko nods in agreement. The pair leave their shoes in the genkan shoe-box and their jackets on the coat tree, then enter the house and flip on the lights.
"I'll make us some tea, Mogami. Go ahead and relax on the couch. This won't take long."
While Kyoko awaits her hot tea, she takes a look at the magazines on Ren's coffee table. Along with some magazines obviously meant for male readers, she finds a few with her own picture—small though they were—on their covers. Has...has he been buying women's magazines to read about me?? She quickly puts them down and rearranges them as they were when she hears Ren coming in from the kitchen.
After drinking their tea and making small talk, getting a little more comfortable with one another again, Ren finally summons his courage to broach the unpleasant subject matter due to be spoken about. Setting his empty cup down, his face turns dark and serious.
"Well," he begins, "I'm...I'm not exactly sure where to start, Mogami...there's so much to tell..."
"Why don't you start at the beginning then? From birth to now...tell me everything you've gone through like weaving a timeline for me. Would that be alright?" Kyoko puts a comforting hand on Ren's knee, a sympathetic look on her face.
"Sure, but...I can't guarantee you I can stay exactly on the timeline...I might do a little back-and-forthing...but I will do my best." Ren takes in a deep breath. "I was born Hizuri Kuon. Son of Hizuri Juliena, a Russian model and actress, and Hizuri Kuu, the famous Japanese/American actor also known as Hozu Shuuhei. You've actually met my father...you played a ten-year-old me for him. And you did a good job, too, from what I saw!" Ren smiles nervously.
"Oh, whoa," remarks Kyoko. "To think I had no idea! Wow! Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt. Please continue."
"I got involved in acting from a young age—guess I inherited my father's love of it—but I kept getting fired and rejected from jobs. Sometimes due to my own mistakes, but oftentimes, just because nobody wanted to hire the son of someone famous and get accused of doing special favors, and I wasn't too happy with people thinking I was making it on my dad's coat-tails. So to escape my father's shadow and make it as an actor on my own, I moved from America to Japan when I was 15 and became Tsugura Ren. But you saw the real me and heard my real name before that, when I was ten, in Kyoto for just a few days visiting Japan with my dad. You misheard me and called me 'Corn' but I didn't mind so I didn't correct you. I never meant for you to take me for a fairy, but...you were crying when you first showed up. And when you saw me and thought I was a fairy, your tears immediately dried, you smiled so big, and your eyes shone. It made you so happy, and I knew I would only be in Kyoto for a few days, so I didn't think there would be any harm in playing that part for you, so I did. I never would have guessed I'd run into you again in the future!" Ren laughs nervously at the irony, and Kyoko echoes him.
"In America, when I was young, I was very gentle. But I started getting bullied for my Japanese blood. It made me feel so helpless and weak. And I was very frustrated at never getting any roles because of my blood as well, being the son of such a well-known actor. Anger began to grow in me. Eventually, a personal friend of the family's, a man named Rick, with a wife and a bright future, whom I cared very much for, started teaching me martial arts to defend myself against bullies. But the anger inside me just kept growing—until I became the bully, who went looking for trouble, and enjoyed fighting. It made me feel powerful. I was good at it. Strong, fast reflexes, training in gymnastic/acrobatic types of martial arts. I was unbeatable. So I never backed down from any challenge. I took up all kinds of bad-kid habits, like drinking and smoking cigarettes, on top of beating people up. Then one day, when I was 15, I was challenged to a drag race. I was running at top speed and leaving the other guy in the dust—but I was also running out of road and about to crash into a building. Rick and his wife Tina just happened to be on the sidewalk beside me. Rick ran out in front of me to try to stop me. I slammed on the brakes—but it was too late. I hit him. Tina cradled his bloody, lifeless body in her arms, crying desperately, screaming at me that I was a murderer and that if I had died instead...her Rick would still be alive. I had always felt cursed by my blood...but I had just killed a dear friend. That's when I began to curse my own existence. That's also when I made a vow that I would never hurt anyone ever again. That's why I always wore my watch on my right arm—it stopped ticking the moment I killed my friend, and I used it as a shackle to remind myself—if I swung at someone, it would be the first thing I would see, and it would stop me. But I hated myself so much more after that that I welcomed death. So I moved to Tokyo soon after the accident, and I found that as Tsugura Ren, I could stop being myself altogether and be completely Tsugura Ren, who in turn could be anyone else when I was acting. I despised Kuon. He's the guy I felt was 'cursed.' The one I almost became again as Cain when we ran into a group of thugs, the one you saw at the car accident, the one you kept from killing again as Cain...and the one I tried to force out with the Maui Omurice. But you, Mogami...you are the one who lifted that curse from me in Guam. That's why I've been wearing my watch on my left arm now. I'm sure you've noticed...you notice everything!" Ren gives a little chuckle to try to lighten the mood. He hadn't faced Kyoko during his painful story, but when he spoke of the watch, he looked up at her and saw that she was on the verge of tears.
"Tsugura-san...I'm so, so sorry. I wish I had known. I might have been able to do something for you to help you sooner!"
Ren caresses her cheek, wiping away a freshly-shed tear from it with his thumb. "Oh, but you have, Mogami. You have. It was your voice I heard during that fight with the thugs as Cain, and your voice that stopped me from killing again—as Cain—when I fought with another actor. It was your voice I heard the day of the accident on a shoot—and your hand that warmed my frozen heart and body and mind. You were the one there to help me fight off my evil self by sharing with me the Omurice. All those times, you were there for me. You brought me back when I was losing myself. And most of all...it was you who saved me and lifted my curse in Guam. You are the reason I can now wear this watch on my left arm. I still wear it as a reminder, I don't ever want to forget Rick and what happened to him because of who I was then—but I'm no longer haunted by that memory. Because of what you said to me in Guam—I was finally able to forgive myself...and for the first time in my life, be glad that I was born. Not as Tsugura Ren, but as Hizuri Kuon—my real self. I know you were just acting when you said you were a priestess, but you nonetheless still really did rescue me that day, from myself, and made me glad I was born who I was born as. There's no way I could ever thank you enough for that."
Kyoko throws her arms around Ren, crying her eyes out, blabbering apologies about his hard life and not having a clue and treating him so coldly and thanking him for telling her the whole story and griping at him for not telling her sooner. Ren tentatively returns her hug, and when she just squeezes him tighter, he relaxes into it, a little smile creeping across his face. But after a few minutes of soaking Ren's shoulder with tears, Kyoko backs up, crying finally stopped.
"Wait...there are a few things I don't understand...is it ok if I ask you some questions? You don't have to answer them if you don't want to. I'll understand."
"Go ahead."
"Wh-what exactly did I say to you in Guam that lifted your curse? I don't remember saying anything particularly wise or anything..."
"Well, I don't have the Total Recall you seem to have, but the gist of it is: You told me how everything that ever happened to you, no matter how painful, led you to where you are today—like nothing was truly wrong or a mistake or whatever, but more like fate. You said you were even grateful to your unloving mother and Sho, because they led you to acting and to your sensei in the field, Tsugura Ren. You were truly grateful, even for painful things, because they led you to better things. That's when I realized that even as tragic and regretful as it was, even the accident that killed Rick was necessary for me to end up here—as the actor Tsugura Ren, who got to meet and know a wonderful girl named Mogami Kyoko. That even the most painful things are necessary to build your future. Nothing is just chance or bad luck—or a curse. Everything happens for a reason."
"Wow, I said all that? And that's all it took to save you from your demons? Kami, I wish I had said it sooo much sooner!"
Ren chuckles.
"What about the blue stone you gave me? Was it...truly special to you?"
"It was a gift from Rick when I was six and first started getting bullied and losing out on kids' commercial roles because my dad was too famous. Rick had told me the same thing I told you about it. That it was a magic stone that absorbed bad feelings and helps you out. I treasured it. But those three days I knew you...you cried so much over your mother and Sho...I thought you needed it more than I did. Especially since I knew I had to say goodbye to you. But don't worry, I never once regretted giving it to you. OH, no! Don't start crying again, Mogami! It's alright, really!"
"It truly was special to you, and you entrusted it to me, and it helped me so much so many times for so many years and I just threw it in your face like it was nothing and called it a dumb rock! Pleeeaaassee forgive me?!"
"Ok, Ok, but only if you stop crying, alright? Now wait right here for a moment..."
Drying her tears, Kyoko tries to make an inquiry to Ren's back as he leaves the room. "Where are you go—he's gone. Bathroom?"
"I'm back already, see. I told you it would just be a moment. Now open your hands and close your eyes."
"Okay."
"Open."
"Y-you kept it, Corn? I mean Kuon? No, wait, Tsugura-san?"
The multi-named man laughs. "Why don't you just call me 'Ren.' I mean it's not like we're strangers, right? We know all about each other! I'd be fine with Kuon or even Corn, but it would confuse other people, so I think 'Ren' is best, wouldn't you agree?"
Kyoko's lips stretch wide across her face, her eyes bright as she cradles the blue stone in her hands as if it were a baby bird that had fallen from its nest.
"Tsu-I mean, Ren? Are you...sure you want to give this back to me?"
"Absolutely. It's been yours for over a decade. You're its true owner, Mogami."
"Say, Tsu-Ren...when I first saw you at the beach in Guam, I called you Corn and you turned around and looked at me. I only saw a grown-up Corn, but I know you saw me. Why didn't you come tell me the truth then? And why did you start to run away and then come back such that you had to tell me lies just to talk to me?"
"Well, you were a day early in Guam, and that was a completely deserted, remote beach. I never expected anyone to find me there, least of all you! I still hated that me then, ya know, I didn't want one single person to know my true identity...and if I had told you, I knew you would be pissed. Just like you were when I did tell you. So I started to walk away. But when I looked back...you were practically curled up in a ball, absolutely miserable. I couldn't just leave you like that. So I decided to play Corn for you one more time. I'm sorry for telling you so many lies to keep my identity secret; I should have trusted you. But I also felt I had to lie to keep you believing in Corn because he made you so happy. I was actually envious of that me for the first time ever because of it. I mean you spoke to me so naturally, like a real person...a friend. Not some untouchable God. I had such a wonderful time with you with all those formalities out of the way along with the overdose of respect. For just one day...I got to have a casual conversation with Kyoko-chan instead of Mogami. It was so wonderful, I can't quite bring myself to regret it, even though I know it was wrong of me. I'm sorry it all ended up hurting you, Mogami."
"I understand. I forgive you for everything...as long you forgive me too."
"For what?"
"For all the mean things I said to you on the set and in real life and treating you like garbage and calling Corn a rock and hitting you with it and not letting you into my dressing room and—"
Ren laughs as he interrupts. "Ok, OK, I get the idea. Consider yourself forgiven!"
Kyoko smiles happily.
"Tsu-I mean Ren—man, that's going to take some getting used to—do you think that—maybe—you could call me 'Kyoko' now?"
Ren smiles widely, taking Kyoko's hand in his. "I thought you'd never ask...Kyoko."
Kyoko returns his wide smile...but only for a moment. Then she takes back her hand, crosses her arms in front of her, and scowls at him.
"Ts-Ren! I've got one more question for you! If you weren't really cursed by a magic spell, then why did you make me kiss you in Guam, complain about it, and then kiss me?"
Ren's eyes bug as his jaw falls open. He had completely forgotten about that.
Lowering his head in embarrassment more than shame, Ren explains, "W-well...I mostly wanted to thank you for saving me. Really saving me, lifting the curse I put upon myself. And...I also...thought that it would probably be my only chance ever to kiss you."
"I-is that true...Ren?"
He looks up at her.
"Yeah, it's true."
Kyoko smiles. "Well then maybe you won't mind me telling you one of my secrets then...the reason I considered Corn's kiss my first real kiss...is because he was using Ren's lips." The girl blushes, but doesn't turn away.
Ren echoes Kyoko's earlier question. "I-is that true...Kyoko?"
The smiling, blushing girl nods her head; Ren smiles back. "Well, then..." He takes his lens case out of his pocket and takes out his lenses, revealing gemstone green eyes...and pulls off his wig without care as to where it ended up, which of course was the floor. "Then can Corn kiss Kyoko-chan again? He asks with pinked cheeks and a small smile.
"No," Kyoko says simply, surprising Ren. His face takes on a look of fear and worry. "But," the girl continues, "Kuon can kiss Kyoko."
Ren's face relaxes in relief, save a small smile mirroring Kyoko's.
Ren pulls Kyoko's head towards his by the back of hers with one hand, and brings her lips to his in a sweet, lingering kiss. When they finally break apart, Kyoko speaks up.
"You are Tsugura Ren. But when we're alone...you can be yourself. Hizuri Kuon."
"Thank you, Kyoko. For accepting me for who I am—no matter which who I am."
Kyoko looks down.
"What is it?"
"I just remembered something. I forgot to tell you...I have a confession to make too, and I hope you don't hate me for it. I mean I only did it to help you...."
"What could you have possibly done to anger me attempting to help me?"
"I-I am Bo. Bo the chicken. I was in the costume both times you talked to me in it. I mean I really do understand what you meant when you said how nice it was to be able to have a normal conversation with me in Guam as Corn, because that's how I felt as Bo. Those two times...you talked to me like an ordinary person, about your problems even. I'm sorry I cheated like that, but you just always shoulder your burdens by yourself and won't confide in anyone, least of all me. But you would talk to Bo. So I tried to help you by being him. Please forgive me?" She peeks up at him with her eyes, but keeps her head down.
Ren lifts her face with a hooked finger, and kisses her gently. "Of course I forgive you. But from now on, I promise to share my burdens with you if you promise to listen outside the chicken suit!" He smiles at her, and she grins back at him with a firm, "Hai!"
"Come here," Ren says simply, taking Kyoko by the hand and pulling her into his lap. She sits between his knees, a leg on either side of her. Ren's long arms wrap around hers, and he rests his head upon hers. "Ya know, it was scary telling you my story. Other than President Takarada and my parents, only you know everything that happened. But I'm glad you know. Thank you for hearing me out tonight and understanding."
"Thank you for telling me."
Ren kisses the top of her head. Then again, a little to the left side. Then another a little further. Then he removes his right arm from around hers—to pull back the hair covering her left ear and neck. Ren's hot breathe on Kyoko's ear causes her to shiver involuntarily. Then his lips—his warm, full, sweet lips—begin to kiss a track across her neck in a downward spiral to the front from the side.
Kyoko's breath rate increases rapidly, heat surging though her at lightning speed. She tilts her head back into Ren's chest, surrendering her neck fully to his sultry kisses. His lips make it down to the crook of her neck—then, with the last he can use of their height difference, he stops after one last kiss at the top of her dress...right above the first button, begging Ren to undo it and have a look at that cleavage a little closer up. But he thinks better of it, and pulls back. He doesn't want to push her or scare her off.
Pulling his head back upright—and into reality—Ren whispers huskily, "Sorry, Kyoko. It's getting late. I should probably take you home now." With that he stands, pulling Kyoko up to her feet with him, his arms holding onto hers. She suddenly turns around and looks up into his sunlit-forest eyes. He pets her hair looking into her cherry face. Her eyes are wide with wonder. Ren gives her one last good-night kiss on her lips, having to push her back just a hair to reach her from up there. Once he lets go, however...Kyoko impulsively grabs him by his waist, giving him a full-on body-hug. Her wide eyes go even wider at what she feels poking into her body. It's the single-most thrilling thing she's ever felt, and extremely powerful. It somehow scares her. She quickly releases a surprised Ren...only to surprise him more by suddenly announcing, without looking at him again that she just realized she had to go home right away and felt like walking tonight. She's out the door faster than a sprint-runner. A stunned Ren is left in a daze. Shit, he thinks, I scared her off. I have to go slow with her! Of course I didn't KNOW she was going to get that close to me...but I should really be more careful. If she ends up thinking that's all I want from her...it would be disastrous. He sighs, then decides to take a quick shower before bed—a cold one.
Meanwhile, Kyoko is running aimlessly, not even paying attention to where she's going. She's not even sure why she's running. She finally stops at the side of a convenience store to catch her breath, figure out where she is, and most of all—what made her run from Ren's arms. I guess it was just the shock—I mean I knew what it was, and I know it's normal and all, but for some reason I just got so nervous! I panicked! Got entirely self-conscious! What exactly did I think he was going to do, anyway? I mean I'm the one who grabbed him, not the other way around...he was trying to stop at a respectable time. Not like he had the intention of raping me or anything. I shouldn't be running from the man I love and trust like that. I probably left him feeling bewildered and guilty. He didn't do anything wrong! I need to explain it to him right away, even if I die of embarrassment, which I surely will, because he does not deserve to suffer on my account. Besides...I can't figure out where I am! I have no choice but to call him.
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