“The more laws, the less Justice…” – Marcu Tallius Cicero
“That wasn’t your ending dudette, believe me.” I said, “We may lose trust on people, but there’s that one person who will always be worth the risk. And it’s all up to you if you are willing to take that leap.”
“Thank you.” she whispered, and I had a feeling that she was smiling behind that blue curtain, which made me feel good.
“You are very much welcome.” I teased, “Man, you are such a girl.”
She gave a hearty laugh, “The last time I checked, I am. Which I’m thinking is a good thing for you as this is a dating game.”
I smirked, “I guess you are right.”
“You know I am.” I watch her fidget on her seat and sat up- straightening her back. “I’m smart, you said so yourself.”
“So I did.” I ran my eyes up and down her legs, it was true, she had beautiful long legs, long legs that are restless and kicking again as we fall into another comfortable silence.
Until Amanda butted in.
“So, how about you Stranger? Care to share your secret identity?
“My secret identity?” I asked, “Now?”
“No, I mean, who were you in high school.” Amanda pointed out, “That was what you asked her, wasn’t it?”
“Yeah…”
“You were on the varsity, but you ran away from the it crowd, so where did you put yourself?” I hear dudette ask.
“Well…” I sat back as I try to remember my high school days, “I guess I tried my best to be a-“
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*flashback~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Outcast.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*cut.short(rofl!)~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
“Sorry, an outcast?” Dudette quickly cut in. “how can a jock be an outcast?”
I chuckled, “Well, if you’d let me start my story, then maybe you’ll find out.”
She stifled a laugh, “Sorry, just wished that my brother tried to be a nerd. Anyway, on with your story.”
“Thank you.” I grinned, “Now, where was I? oh, yeah, I was a-
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*Take.2.of.flashback~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Outcast.
…
I guess it’s safe to continue.
So as dudette have so lovingly put it, I ran away from the popular crowd. It wasn’t that I didn’t want to be with them- well, yeah, that was the main reason. But there are other things.
I didn’t like attention.
Attention meant you’d be easier target of anything, so I stirred away, even if it was something good.
Better safe than sorry, right?
Wrong.
If you decide to date one of the coolest and hottest girls in school, then the people around you are tend to notice.
The day I strutted down the halls with Emily in my arms was also the day I was put off the market and marked as hers.
Like I said, she was sweet and all that, until she became a selfish manipulative b*tch, who almost cost us our whole school fund.
I’m not really sure what it was, whether she finally realized how beautiful and hot she is that she can use it to get whatever she wanted or because I made her popular, thus making the first fact known to her.
Whichever it was, it didn’t turn out right.
Even after Jas left she was unsatisfied. She would shout at every girl I talk with, threaten them to the point that three or four of them transferred.
“What’s going on with you Emily?” I asked.
“I’m just protecting what’s mine.” She snapped.
I sighed, “Listen baby, you don’t need to do that. I’m not like other guys, I’m not gonna cheat on you. I promise you that, didn’t I?”
“Yeah, well, I trust you.” she grumbled, “It’s those b*tches that I don’t trust. I mean, c’mon Liam, you’re the hottest guy in school. The most popular guy, taken and untouchable, yet they all think they can freely walk up to you and talk to you.”
“I’m not all that special Emily.” I said. “So maybe I got my brothers’ popularity-“
“No, you have your own shine, Liam.” She says, “This little act of, I don’t want to be seen with the popular crowd 24/7, makes you mysterious. They think that you are one of them.” she spat out these words as if it was the most disgusting thing in the world.
“Well, that’s because I am.” I said as I pulled over in front of her house. “Anyway, just chill ok? I’m not seeing anyone else but you.”
“Of course you aren’t.” she gave me one of the fake smiles that she had learned to put on. “I got rid of her, didn’t I?” she leaned forward and dropped her voice into a whisper, “And I will keep doing that to every girl who thinks you are up for grabs…” then she gave me a rough kiss, almost angry, that I pulled away and looked into her once cold warm blue eyes.
“Stop it Emily.” I said.
“I will once these girls learn their place and yours.” She says as she open her door, obviously not happy that I cut the kiss short, she stepped out and then leaned over, “Aren’t you coming in?”
I shrugged, “No.” I said, I can’t deal with her like this, or someone will die. And I don’t want to go to jail, so chances are, that would be me. “I have to go to back to school to tutor.”
“Seriously Liam?” she snapped, “I wish you said that earlier, maybe I could have made plans with the girls.”
With that she slammed the door shut and stormed into the house.
I sat back and hit the back of my head on the head rest.
“Calm down Liam, it’s just a phase… it’s just a phase…” I said.
Yeah right. Phase my *ss.
It’s been 4 months since I caught her cheating and all signs points that she still is. In every party we got to she would disappear and later on come back all horny and clingy.
I haven’t been intimate with her since then. Never, for some reason, it grossed me out.
It’s like sharing something private like a toothbrush.
Then there was the thing with Jas.
The last time I saw her was outside the ice cream shop, after she escaped again.
I grinned remembering her silliness and geeky smile.
Two months, it has been that long since she was forced to leave Kent and it was, again, because of Emily.
She wasn’t even sorry about it, not even after it was announced that it was her fault that budgets were cut out for some clubs and facilities.
Before that she had a fight with Jas that caused Jas to miss an important moment for her, a moment to say good bye.
Pushing her out of that car’s way and seeing her all weak and broken, broke my heart. Like it was some kind of sickness that you can catch by touch.
After a week she came back and the tormenting of the whole student body came, all started by Emily. Why am I not surprise?
Then she left. Just like that, she was gone.
Now, whenever I look down the car park, where I was now, I would wonder if I would see her, sitting on her car, reading or writing.
It sort of became a thing with us, meeting at the parking lot.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*flashback2~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
“Shut up!” she laughed along with me while we lied on top of her car, listening to her iPod.
“I have a good taste in music, and this is just boring.” I said, “I’m not saying it’s not good, it’s just boring.”
“No it’s not.” She says, “If my best friend hears you say that, he’ll kick you into place.”
“Yeah, a place away from this.” I teased her more.
We exchanged iPods to check on what we like listening to.
By now, it’s been three months since she moved here, and we somehow grew to be good friends. Of course, that’s because she’s good friends with my sisters. But we have our own friendship, one that was just outside the school walls and on top of her car, every after school for about an hour.
To my surprise she went down and grabbed her iPod from me.
“Hey, hey, where are you going?” she raised a hand to shut me up and pulled off the earphones.“Maybe I should put you in place.”
“What?” I asked.
She looks around and set the iPod on top of the car and I heard music began to play, it was the same song we were listening to earlier. Then to my surprise she starts to sing.
“When I think of home, I think of a place where there’s love over flowing
I wish I was home, I wish I was back there
With the things I’ve been knowing
When that makes the tall grass bend into leaning,
Suddenly the rain drops that falls have a meaning
Sprinkling, you’ll see, makes it all clear…
I stared at her as she closed her eyes and a smile grew on her face as she looked back at me and snapped her finger with the beat and continued to sing.
“Maybe there’s a chance for me to go back.
Now that I have some direction
It sure would be nice to be back home
Where there’s love and affection.
And just maybe I can convince time to slow up
Giving me enough time in my life to grow up
Time, be my friend, let me start again…”
I stared at her, amazed. Watching her singing with all her heart, with the most beautiful voice I’ve ever heard. It was clean and clear, almost angelic.
“Suddenly my world, has gone and changed its phase
But I still know where I’m going
I have had my mind spun around in space
Yet I watch it glowing
If you listen then, please don’t make it hard to know
If we should believe the things that we see.
Tell us, should we try and stay.
Or should we run away
Or would it be better just to let things be…”
She reached for her belly, a huge smile on her face as she sings, it was as if she lost in her own little world.
“Living here in this brand new realm,
Might be a fantasy
But it thought me to love
So it’s real, real, real to me…”
She reached out to the air, reaching her notes, stifling a laugh at the end and continued to the next line making me grin and shake my head in amazement.
“And I’ve learned we must look, look inside our hearts to find
Yeah, a world full of love
Like yours like mine
Like home…
home…”
She paused and opened her eyes, staring straight into my eye. Instead of hitting the high note, she half whispered the last word with lower note but sounded so serene.
I smiled and applaud.
“That was amazing!” I said as she grabbed her iPod again with a smug smile.
“I’m sorry, did I hear you correctly, jock?” she teased, “It was amazing?”
I chuckled and nodded, “Fine, it is a good song, depending who sings it…” she beamed again, “You’re such a dork.” She laughed, “An amazing dork, I must say.”
She gave a bow, “Why thank you.”
I laughed again as she walk closer about to climb up again.
“Well, I hate to break up this mini, poorly financed concerto but I’d like to have my boy friend back if you don’t mind, dork.”
I frowned seeing Emily and the others cheerleaders behind her, arms crossed and glaring at Jas.
“Hey, baby…” I slid down the car and walked up to her. “You girls heard Jas? She’s amazing, wasn’t she?”
“Yeah, whatever.” Emily says.
“Uhm, yeah, I think I should go.” Jas says.
“What? No! you have to do one more for the girls…” I said.
She glanced over my shoulder and forced a smile, “I don’t think I’m that good enough to make everyone fall in love with broadway songs.” She says, “I’ll see you around jock.”
I frowned and watched her get into her car and drove away.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*end.of.flashback2~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
I guess it was a good idea that she did leave cause Emily was such a pain that afternoon and wouldn’t shut up on how I was cheating on her with Jas. So I just sat up and remembered that short three minutes that Jas was singing.
I sighed again and shook my head to clear my thoughts, everything just that ended in disaster these past months all started with Emily. I needed to concentrate, I was tutoring calculus today, I can’t be distracted.
I step out of the car where I had been sitting in for the past fifteen minutes, remembering the drama of the past months, not noticing that the school wasn’t quite empty yet. Until I walked into the building, a lot of students reviewing for the upcoming exams, some just hanging out, some were… well, being teenagers.
I made my way to the library, then for some reason, it was like early morning where the students were buzzing about and gossiping.
I shook my head and continued moving, not one bit interested of what’s going on.
Until I heard a familiar music and followed it that lead me to the auditorium.
Several students were gathered outside, doing stretching and breathing exercises.
“Hey what’s going on?” I asked.
“Oh, uhm, one of the music schools are holding their auditions for a scholarship today.” The girl says.
Then a guy stepped out of the auditorium and that’s when I was like hit by the past with a loud smack on the face. I stepped inside and saw the familiar red head up onstage.
“Suddenly my world, has gone and changed its phase
But I still know where I’m going
I have had my mind spin around in space
Yet I watch it glowing
If you listen then, please don’t make it hard to know
If we should believe the things that we see.
Tell us, should we try and stay.
Or should we run away
Or would it be better just to let things be…”
I leaned on the wall and crossed my arms as I watched her singing, calm and relax up onstage as if she was born to be there.
“Living here in this brand new realm,
Might be a fantasy
But it thought me to love
So it’s real, real, real to me…”
She looked around and, for some weird reason, her eyes met mine. It was probably impossible; the lights were too bright for her to even see me.
She looked away instantly as she continued to sing.
“And I’ve learned we must look, look inside our hearts to find
Yeah, a world full of love
Like yours like mine
Like home…”
The auditorium burst into applause of the students watching and she bowed.
“Great, we’ll call you.” the man says.
“Thank you.” she says as she makes her way out of the stage. I grinned and decided to leave; I did have students to tutor.
“Hey!” I heard someone call out just as I was about to turn the corner. I looked back and saw her running toward me.
I stared at her, surprised, “Hey…”
“You weren’t just leaving without saying hi, were you?” she asked almost out of breath. “I looked stupid running out of that auditorium, jock. The least you could do is give me a smile.”
I chuckled and nodded, “Hi Jas…”
“Better.” She beamed. “I see you caught my audition.”
“Half of it.” I said as I start to walk to the library again, with her walking beside me. “You never mentioned that you were going to do theater after graduation.
“I’m not.” She said casually.
“Then what were you auditioning for?” he asked.
“Yeah, well,” she says, “I’m taking music, there’ll be a lot of audition from here on, I was just thinking this would be a good practice.”
I laughed, “Jas that was an audition for a scholarship.”
“I know.” She said. “I have a couple already.”
“You do?”
She then smiled and stopped, “It was nice to see you again, Li. A friendly face always makes an audition a good one.”
I chuckled, “Well, I wish you didn’t scare anyone in there who deserves a scholarship more than you do.”
She laughed, “Tough luck.” I laugh along with her, “So where’s Emily?”
I shrugged, “At home, its one of those days that I’ wouldn’t like to be seen with her.”
“You have those days now?”
“Yeah since…” I remembered the party I saw her with Phil.
“Hey, Li, look. If its about the time I had to leave, forget about it.” she said, “She was protecting what’s hers, in a sort of bad way, but yeah… I understand her.”
“This is none of your fault Jas.” I assured her with a forced smile. “She’s changed and I’m hoping that she realizes I only have eyes on her and that will never change.”
She smiled and tapped me on the shoulder, “She will, soon. Don’t worry.”
I grinned, “Thanks.”
“No problem.” Then she looked ahead and frowned. I looked at the end of the hall way and saw the principal walking with a young man. “Hey, uhm, I should go.”
“Oh, of course…” I said as she quickly gave me a smile and a quick hug.
“It’s really nice to see you again Li.” She whispered before letting me go and running off. “See you around jock.”
I watched her, amused. “You too dork.”
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*end.of.flashback~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Of course, as always, see you around took months before it happened.
I thought of what she said about Emily and I made peace with whatever anger and doubts I had of her. And Emily seemed to have noticed as I saw that she was turning back to the Emily I knew and loved. I know it’s stupid, probably it was just me being hopeful, and it’s probably boarding to pathetic- ok, it was pathetic- but I loved Emily and would do anything for her. Even close the eyes of the truth.
So I tried to compromise with her.
We went to every party, spent most of my remaining time with the popular kids. For her everything was back to normal.
While I was just going along with her, scared that I would lose her.
I guess someone else had other plans, and they were against mine. Besides, I can only do so much, it’s a whole different thing if my sisters step in.
As protective as I am of them, they were worse with me.
They use to warn my friends of me having trust issues and that if they upset me, even once, they would hear from the girls and my brothers.
It was so lame that I thought being labeled a dork wouldn’t be that hard, but as always, I was wrong.
I made a name for myself, and there was no doubt that I deserve whatever I have at that moment.
But still, the popular crowd isn’t my scene, and Emily didn’t understand that. But that certain moment when I snapped, I was so sure that Emily wished she was not popular. Maybe she even wished that our path never crossed.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*flashback3~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
“Hey babe…” I reached out to her and she gave me a seductive smile, put a hand under my shirt and up my torso to my chest. I raised a brow. Then she tip toed so she can give me a kiss, a long deep and lustful kiss, one I returned, remembering what the boys were talking about and this girl in front of me, was such a turn on right at that moment.
“Can we not go to the party, babe?” she whispered, brushing her lips on mine.
I grinned, “What do you have in mind?”
She smiled again, “Something you can’t refuse.”
Don’t get me wrong, I love this girl and deeply respect her. In fact we only started doing the deed after a year of dating after we fought and had a made up make up that turned into a steamy night game. And we only do the deed when she asks me to, I didn’t want to push her, besides, we pretty much agree when we want to do it or not.
“I think I like it already.” I said.
Being the gentleman that I was, I took her to the hotel we checked into during our anniversary, I didn’t want her to feel dirty or low like I hear some other girls whine about there boyfriend after taking them to a motel. Neither do I want to disrespect her or my house.
We spent two nights there, living like a married couple. It was perfect.
I could say that I have totally forgiven her. I was ready to move on and be a better man by not forcing her to tell her that I know and make her apologize. What was important for me was that she sees herself as mines still, and I will just have to make more effort to keep her attention to myself.
Well, that was the plan, until Monday came.
I arrived in school reminiscing the two days of perfection, unfortunately it didn’t last.
As I walked through the halls people stared at me, but not the usual way like with envy or awe, it was a look of sympathy. One I never really had gotten acquainted to since I lived with my mom and step dad. I stopped at my locker and grabbed my things, looking around, still questioned of the other students look.
“Liam!” I turned and saw Lindsay running up to me.
“Hey, what’s up?” I asked. She fidgeted making me worried, “What is it?”
“It’s…” she start to entwine her fingers, which she normally does when she’s really nervous.
I frowned, “What is it Z?” I looked around, “Where’s Charity?”
It wasn’t like Lindsay to run up to me without Charity, usually she’d go to Charity and then to me, so Charity can do damage control first before I handle whatever trouble she got into.
“She’s-“
“YOU BITCH!!”I heard a familiar voice shout at the end of the hall way, “And you have a nerve to even look at him in the eyes and sleep with him?!”
“Please, it was nothing but-“ I frowned, I know that voice.
“Don’t bullshit me wh*re!” Charity shouts again, “This isn’t doing nothing!”
I ran to her now and saw her holding up her phone. Emily’s eyes widened at what she saw and began to shake.
“Please Charity, it’s-“
“Don’t touch me!” Charity slapped her hand away.
“Charity!” I called, angry for hurting Emily.
Everyone turned to me and, if it was possible Emily’s eyes widened, as tears start to fall down her face.
“Hey baby, you ok?” I asked her. She glanced at Charity not being able to answer.
“Liam can you move out of the way so I can plaster her face on the wall?” Charity pushed me away from Emily.
“What the hell Cha?” I snapped, pulling Emily behind me, out of Charity’s line of fire.
“The hell is where she belongs!” she snaps.
“What’s wrong with you Cha?” I asked, “I thought you and Emily are friends?”
“I tried, cause you asked, but I can’t not with her cheating on you.”
I frowned. Emily sobbed more, making me turn to her. They knew… They knew and there was nothing I can do now.
Charity sneered at Emily, “Crocodile tears won’t work on me, Emily. Maybe you have my brother wrap around your finger but I’m telling you now that I will never accept you in my family.”
“Nor will I.” Lindsay stepped up, glaring at Emily.
“Why are you doing this Charity?” I ask, almost pleading.
“Cause someone needs to put her in place.” Charity snapped. “And I have had just enough of her strutting as if she owned the place.”
“Charity-“
“Shut up!” Charity snapped at her, all red and angry.
“Stop shouting Charity!” I asked. “You can’t just accuse people like that and humiliate them-“
“You’re siding with her?” her eyes widened with disbelief.
I whined and reached for my sister not wanting to hurt her either. “No… No Cha. I just…” I sighed, “I just want you to be the better person here. dad raised you better than this.”
She shook her head, “I don’t care if people say I’m craz right now, I’m protecting my brother and I won’t let this cheap whore play you longer.
I knew better than to disagree, when Charity was in this state, there was no changing her mind.
“Maybe I can change your mind for you, brother.” Charity smiled at me, and raised her phone after pushing a button.
“No!” Emily shouted and tried to lunge at Charity but I held her back.
For some reason I had to see this. I had to know if what I was doing was worth it. If loves enough for someone to change for the better.
The hallway became dead silent when I heard Emily’s familiar giggles that I only hear in the comforts of a private room. I watched the video as it start to steam up, there wasn’t even a foreplay, the show was on in Saigon and Emily was the star. I stared at the video until it was nothing but just a vision, I couldn’t hear anything else but Emily’s moans and demands, the man’s voice that was giving her dirty talks and Emily screaming to high heavens of her arrival.
I looked away and turned to Emily who was shaking in front of me.
“Em…”
“Liam, it was a mistake…” she said, “my mistake and I didn’t… if I could take it back, I would… I’m so sorry…” she reached out for me, but I stepped out of her reach, surprising her.
“Emily, a mistake is something you didn’t mean to do.” I said, “And I’m sure that wasn’t rape I saw there.”
“Liam please, let’s talk this in private-“
“What more do you have to hide Em?” I snapped, “You’ve embarrass yourself enough haven’t you? And you’ve humiliated me along with you!”
“I’m sorry Liam…” she sobbed again.
I stared at her, it broke my heart seeing her cry. So I stepped up and hugged her. “I’m sorry Emily…” I whispered, “but I can’t be here now. Not after that.”
“Liam…”
“That video was your break up card to me.” I whispered.
“No!” she held unto me, “Please Liam, I love you… we’ve made plans remember? You can’t… you have to forgive me…”
I shook my head and ran my hands down her arm to her hand and unclasped it off my clothes. “No Emily, of all things you could have done, you did what was unforgivable to me.”
“But it didn’t mean anything!” she wailed, pulling me back to her, but I fought the urge to do so. “You can’t let him win-“
“This isn’t a game Emily!” I snapped, “And even if it is, I already lost when you slept with him.”
She shook her head, “But I love you…”
“I know…” I said. “Apparently that and me wasn’t enough.”
“Liam please…”
“Hey, hey… what’s going on here?” I heard a familiar voice call out over the crowd, Then I felt Emily stiffen.
My eyes widened and let her go. Staring at her in eye level, “I knew, I knew since the party seven months ago, and I knew it was Phil.” I said, “I tried Em, I tried but you just never saw that. I’m sorry about this…”
She looked at me questioned as I step away, pain and anger mixing all inside me. If it was possible my heart shattered again, for the second time within five minutes. Then I turned to my so called best friend who gave me a surprised look.
“Hey you ok man?” I heard him ask before I lunged at him and punched him on the face. It was personal. He groaned as he tried to sit up. “What the fuck man-“
“Yeah, fuck… like what you did to my girlfriend!” I lunged at him again and let out my anger on him.
All I saw was red, that they had to call four teachers, three security guards and two police officers, to tear me off of Phil.
“I trusted you!” I screamed at a bloody Phil, who was sprawled on the floor, as police held me by the shoulder, “You’re supposed to be my best friend. You’re supposed to have my back, not go riding my girlfriend!” then I turned to Emily, “And you…” she whimpered away, her back flat on the locker, “I never want to see you again. Not in this school, not in this town, I never want to see you again!”
“Liam-“
“Don’t you fucking say my name cause you have no right to!” I screamed at her, the police officer reached for my shoulder again, but I brushed them off. They knew who I was, I won’t hurt a girl. But then again, there’s a first time for everything. “Three years, Emily, three years meant nothing to you.”
“That’s not true-“
“Oh, so that was you celebrating?!” I snapped.
“Son, let’s go…” one of the police says.
“No!” I snapped at them. And walked up to Emily, my face just a few inches away from her, “Don’t worry, this isn’t all your fault, I know I did something wrong.” she looked up at me, as if to tell me I was wrong, “It was my mistake to trust you.”
With that I turned and left, hearing my sisters follow me and for the whole day I locked myself in my room, no plans of going out. All plans of the future gone with just a flick of a finger.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*pause~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
“Wow, you should be awarded of an Oscar or something.” Dudette cut me off my thoughts, “Maybe I should write to the pope to canonize you.”
“What?” I asked.
“You stepped away from the person you loved after she hurt you.” she said, “You blamed her for everything. I mean, yeah you beat the crap out of your ex best friend, but you didn’t tell him to leave and never to return again.”
I frowned and thought about it. She was right, as usual, and I didn’t want to tell her that so I brushed off the compliment. Well, it wasn’t like she said I was a jerk or something. She compared me to someone who was to be a saint, that meant I was good in her eyes, or on her judgment seeing she hasn’t seen me.
“So she stabbed you twice by cheating on you, and by cheating on you with your best friend?” she enumerated.
“Yeah…” I blurted out.
“Ok…” she says. “Then what happened?”
“That’s it.”
“It can’t be, that’s it.” She whined, “It couldn’t have ended there.”
I looked at her legs which were swinging back and forth again, “How would you know?”
“Cause there’s always a moment of realization.” She said.
“A what?” I asked.
“A moment of realization, you know?” I didn’t answer making her shrug, “It’s that moment you realize what you still have, that what you lost isn’t really a lost or something like that.”
“Oh…”
“Maybe here’s where the very few friends of yours come in?”
“No.” I said, “After I found out that they knew I ditch them as well, even left the team. I can’t find any reason to trust them anymore, in any way.”
“And what made you realize that?” she asked.
I grinned, remembering the said moment of realization.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*continue.with.flashback~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
A week later, I finally left my room, and quietly left the house. I didn’t want anyone to follow me, I didn’t even know where I was going.
My sister had told me that Emily left already, when her parents found out of what happened, they sent her to a private all girls’ school in another state. As for Phil, well, he was in the hospital with three broken ribs and broken nose and bruises all over the torso and face.
Mom and dad briefed me of what could possibly happened if Phil’s family were to file a case at me. Seeing that we were no longer minors, of course we can already be thrown to jail, and Phil’s dad being a politician, made sure no one was thrown in jail, especially not his son who was videoed having sex with a minor, Emily was just 17.
His mom, a very nice and sweet lady, came and apologized for him. I told her that I accept the apology but would take time to forgive, at least it was in the process.
But it wasn’t enough. I was still hurting and worse was my future was now blank.
I walked blindly through the park, kicking a pebble I picked up a block ago. When suddenly I bumped into someone.
I caught her arm before she fell back and pulled her toward me. I looked down at her and she smiled and pulled away. I knew that red hair anywhere.
“Sorry, I should have watch where I was going.” She said as she pushed her eye glasses up her nose.
“It’s cool.” I said, “It’s been a while…”
“Yeah,” she said, “senior year, busy year.”
I chuckled, “Yeah…”
Then she gave me smile, and then she looked around as if looking for something.
“Did you lost someone?” I teased.
She grinned, “No, I’m looking for… ah, there he is… c’mon.”
She grabbed me by the arm and pulled me to the end of the park, slowly I hear music starting to play, there I saw the man with an organ propped up, playing something jazzy, while passerby dropped money on his case and not even bother listening to him. But he just sat there playing and smiling thanking them.
“Hey Carl.” She greeted.
“Ah, the pretty princess is back.”
“Like I promised.” She said.
“Ready to play?” he asked.
“Yep.” She then took off her bag, that I didn’t notice she was carrying and pulled out a violin. She turned to me, “Stay there, ok?”
I looked around as she climbed up the bench, right behind the guy named Carl, and with a nod they both start to play. I watched her putting her whole heart in her violin, then she glanced at me and winked, a crowd began to build around us and then Carl leaned toward her and whispered to her, she grinned and walked up to me and encircled me.
“What are you doing?” I laughed.
She moved behind me and pushed me with her hip toward the middle, she joined me and stopped playing. She then put her arm over my shoulder and started dancing with me.
“Obviously I’m not gonna ask you to dance with me since I already am.” She whispered, “But it would be nice if you go along.”
I laughed, and put my hand on her hip and danced with her. I looked away from the crowd, as a blush made my way to my face, while they watch us, awing and gawking.
“Uhm, I heard about the whole drama in school…” I frowned and nodded, “I’m sorry.”
“Its nothing, she was-“
She shook her had, “I mean I’m sorry that this has to happen to you.” I stared at her. “I know it hurts, and you telling me it’s nothing is you lying. You loved her, dude, it can’t be nothing. You guys and you egos, God…” She says amused, making me grin. “But seriously, the thing is, she didn’t take care of that love, she didn’t take care of you. You should have thrown that on her face,”
“Yeah, I would have wanted to, but like you said, I love her, so…” I shrugged.
“Can I tell you something?” she asked, biting her lower lip.
“Sure.”
“Her name was Emily right?” she said.
“Yeah.” I said.
“Well, that’s some b*itch you got there.” she said, “Pardon my french.” I raised a brow. “I think she saw me talking to you and let’s just say she set some ground rules… or more of she set a large ground around you telling me to back off.”
“What?” I asked.
“Yup.” She grinned and waved her hand over my face, “Don’t be surprise, the girl was protecting what was hers, its normal.”
“Well, she didn’t usually do that-“
She chuckled, “Oh believe me, she does.” She says, “Practically handed out a restraining order on every girl who comes near you.”
“Seriously?”
“Yup.” Then she put on her thinking face, “if I’m not mistaking her exact words were, hands off w*ore before I remove it for you.”
“Seriously?!” this time more surprise.
“And that’s just one of her very colorful words of expressing her love and devotion for you.”
I shook my head in disbelief then I heard her chuckle. I looked down at her as she reached up to my face and pushed a strand away, “You’re a great guy Li, it’s her lost, and she knows it.”
I smiled, “Thanks.”
She then gave me a genuine smile, “By the way I totally love the line, I know I did something wrong, it was my mistake to trust you. God that was epic I wish I was there!”
I chuckled and gave her a you’re-weird-look. “Well, I guess I’d add it to the list of my finest moments.”
“You should.” She said seriously.
“I will.” I said with conviction, playing along with her, that she threw her head backward laughing.
I just stared at her, and quite surprised myself how easy I found talking about her and she just stared back. The comfortable silence broke when the people around us applauded and she instantly faced them and bowed, she grabbed my hand and pulled me to a bow.
“You’re crazy.” I whispered to her.
“Its moments like this that makes the past worth remembering.” She said.
Then some guy called her and she raised her hand telling him to wait, he shrugged, frustrated. She turned back to me, rolling her eyes and shaking her head, “Well, that’s the boyfriend calling…” I frowned and nodded, she put her violin back in its case and put it inside her huge backpack. Then she looked up at me with a smile. “It’s nice to see you again, Li.”
I smiled, “You too Jas.”
“Bye Carl, have to run early today but I’d be back tomorrow.”
“I’ll be waiting.” He says as he continued to play.
She jogged off toward the guy who was looking pretty pissed, then she turned around and walked backward to her boyfriend.
“I’ll catch up with you soon ok?” she said.
“Looking forward to it, dork.” I teased.
“Well, you won’t be popular if it wasn’t for us.” She said back making me laugh again. “Say hi to your sisters for me.”
“Will do.” I said giving her a salute as I watched her walk up to the guy who was now glaring at me and wrapped a protective arm around her waist. And they crossed the street and walked away from me.
“Great girl isn’t she?” I heard Carl say.
“Yeah.” I sighed.
“That jack a*s is lucky she loves him.” he says as he ends the song.
“What do you mean?” I frowned.
“That man she walked away with has been her boyfriend for three years and fiancé for the last six months.” He said as he started to pack up as well.
“Oh…” that means she’s been engaged since she came to our school.
“Yeah, my thoughts exactly.” Carl says. “If it was up to me I’ll tell her what an a*s she has for a fiancé.”
“Why do you call him an a*s?” I asked, “She’s a smart girl, surely he’s decent.”
“Hah!” he says, “Decent my butt, if I have a dollar every time I see him passing by here with a different girl in his arm, I’ll be a millionaire,” I frowned, “and he even has the nerve to take those girls home at her place, which she lent him cause he has family issues, and f*ck different girls like there’s no tomorrow.”
I looked back to where they walked off to, feeling bad for her.
“I know you’re her friend and all, so am I, but she’s really sensitive about this kinds of thing, so I’m telling you not to butt into it, might as well let her see the truth.”
“But-“
“If she’ll be hurt, then she’ll be hurt, so the next guy will be way better than that dude.”
“And what if she never sees what she had to see?”
Carl smiled, “You told me yourself, she’s smart, she will see.”
Fortunately, that was the last time I saw Jas. We never hang out like we promised since I was scared that I’d blurt out what Carl told me. I knew what it felt like to be kept secrets from by people we trust, and she deserved to know. But I don’t have any rights to do that, I mean, I don’t think we’re even considered as friends yet. So I decided that it was better that way, me shutting up and her learning by herself.
I use to ask Charity of any news,, but she said right after senior year at that private school of hers she disappeared like a bubble.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*end.of.flashback~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
“Then what happened?” Nanny Fran’s voice broke into my thoughts.
“What?” I asked.
She sighed, “You bumped into this girl in the park, then?”
“Oh….” I frowned, I remembered I was thinking of how to tell her without spilling the corny moment with Jas. “Well, she just said that she heard about what happened and that I didn’t deserve what she did. That it was alright to act hurt and stuff.”
“Well, that’s true.” she said, “I know I’m not your biggest fan right now cause you are so damn irritating, but I agree with your friend. Saying that it was nothing would be stupid and a lie.” I frowned, “You obviously love her, for all I care you should have told how much she hurt you in her face; that would have even the odds a bit.”
I chuckled, “Someone has a grudge.”
She chuckled as well, “Oh, you have no idea.”
We then fell into a comfortable silence, as if thinking of what to say next. It was nice, thinking about the past. Especially the crazy moments, and I can’t believe I needed a stranger and a whole TV crew to make me realize how true Jas’ words were.
“So I guess, your friends are-“
“Well chosen.” I said.
“Even now?”
“Especially now.” I said. “There’s no room for mistake.”
“Have you dated after that?”
“Nope.” I said. “I haven’t considered anyone a best friend either.”
“Wow, you’re worst than I am.” She said.
I chuckled, “Well, to make it fair there’s this two crazy people whom I have been hanging out with, nothing really permanent, but I guess they’re cool.”
“Cool enough for Mr. Popular?” she teased.
I stifled a laugh, “Good enough to be trusted I guess.”
“Well, let’s call it quits then, both of us have crappy relationships and only two friends we can trust, you could actually be like me in an alternate universe.”
“Am sure it’s this world, baby girl.” I said, “I’m not into sarcasm, not much.”
“Yeah, I’d think you’re gay if you are so, I guess that’s a plus.”
I laughed along with the audience, only then did I remember where we were. The past few minutes made me forget I was on tv, and I just admitted I was a f*ck*ng loner who got cheated on.
“I guess I can say the same to you.”
“What do you mean?” I asked.
“You are as in love with this girl as you say I am to Mr. Popular.”
I chuckled and shook my head, “I’m no where near in love with her.” I said. “Remember? I’m in love with someone right now.”
“Yeah, but you were in love with her.” she said.
“I could have been, but she’s married now. I guess logic came before stupidity on that one.”
“Well, glad one of us was thinking.” She sighed.
“Hey, don’t worry, you have your moments.” I teased making her laugh.
“Yeah, after it’s too late.” She sighed, “We aren’t so different, nor are we the same, aren’t we?”
“Seems that way.” I agreed. “You know what I did learn from her?”
“What?”
“To appreciate to the music I listen to.” I said. “The song she sang, she sang it because it has meaning to her, it was one of the important things in her life.”
“And you?”
“I have this song…” I grinned, “I realized how thankful I was to be able to say all those things after a year of keeping it to myself. It took time to say what I did, it took control for me not to kill anyone, and it took guts to admit to myself that I was somehow wrong as well.” I sighed, “Nonetheless, I was hurt, still got hurt and probably will always remember that pain, but it was a relief to accept all that.”
We were both silent, thinking of what I just said. I meant every word, and I know she’s thinking of a way to make me regret saying that and tease me about it.
But to my surprise her response was, “I Couldn’t have said it any better.”
I smiled, somehow proud of myself.
“Well, this surely is quite a turn if events.” Amanda says across from me, and I just turned to her with a flat look.
The longer the show was taking, I was disliking her more.
“So, we still have a pretty long ride to go, how about moving on to your next question Stranger?”
I stared at Amanda for a moment and then turned to the box where dudette hid behind the curtain. My mind was blank for a while, I know how hard it has been for her to answer my questions, at first it was just to get a one up, but now… I respect her, she was obviously braver than I thought.
I was talking in front of a live audience, yes, but I had nothing to lose. My stories are typical- well except for my dad’s. But hers, well, let’s just say that I’m surprised how strong she seems to be after all that she’s been through.
I grinned, realizing something. “I don’t have a question.” I said, “I do have an assumption.”
“An assumption?” dudette asked.
“Yeah.” I said, sitting back, amused. “I think I know now why you’re so stubborn.”