"I'll just go ahead and say it," I took a deep breath and let it out slowly. "I'm not at all freaking out that you flew me all the way here to L. A."
Asher chuckled and slammed the door of his car. This time a customized silver Aston Martin DB11.
I followed him outside and stared up at the building. "What are we doing here?" I asked.
"I thought... Well, I don't know what I thought. But it sure wasn't this," I looked at him.
He shoved the keys into his pocket and let his hand stay there. "Let's get this over with," he muttered and walked towards the entrance.
"You coming or what?" he looked over his shoulder at me, having not moved a single step away from the car.
I nodded and shuffled over to him. When I reached him, he took my hand in his and squeezed, his other hand still in his pocket. I looked at his face and gave him a warm smile. He returned it, but it quite didn't reach his eyes. I was pulling him inside with me when he stopped me.
"I forgot something," he said and jogged down to his car. He came again with a pair of shades covering his eyes.
I snorted.
"As if that would keep people from recognizing you," I said.
"It'll make them act less obvious," he shrugged. I raised my eyebrow. "Maybe," he added.
I took his hand in mine and we entered through the glass doors. The hospital smelled and looked the way it was supposed to. The receptionist smiled her usual bright smile when she looked up from her computer. Her eyes went big when she recognized Asher.
"Good afternoon. H-how may I help you, Sir?" she stuttered once.
Asher leaned in close and said something in a low voice. The girl nodded and fumbled with the computer keys.
"Room 84B, sixth floor," she said, smiling brightly.
"Thank you," I said. Her eyes flitted to me and I smiled at her. She smiled in return.
We got into an elevator and stood side by side, not saying anything. I had done my enough share of eavesdropping to know exactly what or rather who awaits us. And I had no idea how I felt about that. What should I feel?
Asher turned to me before turning the knob of Room 84B.
"Um... I don't know what to say," he confessed.
"It's okay. Don't say anything," I said. I wasn't even sure if I wanted to hear anything that he had to say. But it was me who wanted to know so it didn't leave me in a place to complain.
The door opened to a large room with a queen sized bed in the middle. I didn't see much because my eyes were fixed on the person that lay there. My feet moved on their own until I was standing at the foot of the bed.
A girl, not too older than me was lost in sleep, her face pale and blank. It looked lifeless just like her limp hair. I looked up from her to Asher who was standing by the windows and staring out.
"Who is she?" I asked, even though I knew the answer.
He looked at me then at her, his face expressionless.
He came over and sat beside her, on the edge of the bed.
"Her name is Lily," he said. He brushed her hair away from her face with gentle fingers.
"She's—"
"Calla's mother," I said.
He turned his head back to look at me, a trace of surprise covering his face before it went back to being solemn.
I walked to the stand beside him and placed my hand on his shoulder.
"How did this happen?" I asked softly.
He grabbed my hand and held it between both his hands, staring at his thumb tracing circles around my knuckles.
He glanced back at the girl who lay unaware of what was happening around her.
"They say it was an accident," he said in a low voice.
The way he said it made me ask what I did next. "What do you say?"
He looked up at me, his eyes hard. "I say, I did this to her," he spoke.
His eyes never left me as he spoke those words, not wanting to miss a single emotion that went through me. My brain went into a blank mode, not able to comprehend what he meant, but at the same time knowing full well what it heard.
"What?" my voice came out as a whisper.
"You heard me," he said.
"I don't understand," I shook my head, trying to clear it from the onslaught of jumbled thoughts.
"I was responsible for it, Anderson. I made her like this. I ruined her life," he stood up, letting my hand fall to my side, limp.
I was at a loss for words. What happened?
I looked at Lily, at her faded blonde hair. How long was she like this? How much of her life had she lost?
"Since when is she like this?"
"More than a year," he answered and went to stand by the windows again, his hands in his pockets and his shoulders stiff.
I walked toward him.
"It's not your fault, Asher. It was an accident," I said softly and touched his arm.
He jerked my hand away.
"You don't understand!" he yelled, scowling at me.
I flinched.
"I live with this... guilt every single day of my life," he said. "She may never be able to wake up again. She may never see her daughter again and who knows how many other loved ones. And it would be all because of me," he was talking more to himself now.
He grabbed my shoulders and lowered his head. "So don't you try to tell me it wasn't my fault," he hissed.
I opened my mouth to tell me exactly that when the door opened and a man, probably in his late fifties walked in wearing a white coat.
"Ah Mr. Hart, it's good to see you," he said.
Asher let me go. "You too, Doctor," he said.
"Good thing you came too. I had to discuss some things with you," he said. It was then the doctor noticed me.
"Are you family, Miss?" he asked.
"No," I mumbled, shaking my head.
"She is Ellie, my girlfriend," Asher said.
"Dr. O'Brien," he shook my hand.
"Mr. Hart?" the doctor said. Asher nodded and they both left the room.
I sat on the chair at the corner of the room. I had a million questions more than I did before. I wanted to know about her, wanted to know her. One question stood out more than the others and I was ashamed of it.
****
Asher came back after ten minutes.
"What did the doctor say?" I asked.
"They still can't tell whe- if she is gonna wake up, but they are still hoping," he said.
"She will wake up," I said. Asher gave me a small smile and my heart clenched in my chest.
He came to me and I stood.
He wrapped his arms around me and buried his face in the crook of my neck. I held him close.
"I'm sorry," he spoke, his breath warm against my skin.
"You don't have to apologize," I said, even though I had no idea what he was apologizing for.
"I should have told you sooner, but I was scared," he admitted, still embracing me.
"What were you scared of?" I asked. He didn't say anything. He just kept holding me and I didn't prod further.
He let go and cupped my cheek. "You wanna leave?"
I looked at Lily once more and nodded, "Yeah."
Silence filled the car and it had started to drizzle. Some rock band played in the background. I mulled over what I learned today. In a way, I had already guessed some of it, but I had no idea how much this burdened Asher.
Asher was awfully silent.
"I want to know something," I said finally.
He hummed for me to go on.
"Did you love her?" This was what stood out from all the questions in my head.
He took a glance at me before staring ahead.
"No," he said curtly.
"Did you have feelings for her? At some point," I wasn't convinced. Lily was beautiful and I wanted to understand how deep his guilt ran. At least that's what I told myself.
A smirk graced his lips and vanished just as soon. "I never had any feelings for her," he enunciated each word.
I bit my lip. Okay.
"Where does Calla live when she's not with you?" Where was she right now?
"She stays with Lily's sister who started dating Rick a few months ago. That woman hates Calla," he grumbled the last part.
"Why not keep her with you all the time?" I asked. What was Calla even doing some other place?
He made a weird groaning noise. "That's because it'll be illegal?" he ended it in a question.
I furrowed my brows.
"Why? You're her father," I said. I was confused on epic levels.
He tapped his fingers on the steering wheel. "I'm not," he said, grimacing.
"Come again," I blinked.
"I don't have an offspring and I'm not planning on having one anytime soon," he said.
What? What was he talking about? Didn't he say... Oh no, you little bitch!
"Though, I think you can change my mind on that if you want," he winked at me.
"You liar!" I smacked him on the head.
He started laughing.
"This is no laughing matter, you piece of shit!" Even I was surprised at how angry I felt. Shouldn't I be happy?
It was even harder to wrap my mind around than it was to believe he had a daughter. For months I thought Calla was his daughter. I felt so cheated now. It was so embarrassing to think about how he and Ashton must have made fun of me for falling for their ridiculous lie.
I buried my face in my palms.
"You lied to me," I said after wallowing in my embarrassment.
"No shit, Captain Obvious," he rolled his eyes. "And you oh so gracefully ate it all up."
"Why would you lie to me?" I demanded.
"For the same reason I lied about other things," he shrugged.
I narrowed my eyes at him.
"What else did you lie about?"
He thought for a moment then waved a hand in front of my face. "Nothing too serious."
I wanted to strangle him and then rip out his entrails. I shuddered at the sadistic thought.
"Who's Calla's father then?" I asked after I had calmed myself enough. I needed to sleep on it to get my head around it.
"We don't know," he said.
"How do you know Lily then?" God, everything was so frustrating!
He sighed and I felt the air change around us.
"I didn't."
I waited for him to continue on his own accord. The rain had started pouring.
"I hadn't even seen her before that night when the accident happened," he made the word sound like a swear word.
"I'm not the one to blame myself for something I didn't do. I wouldn't beat myself over it if it wasn't really my fault," he said.
"How was it your fault?"
"I was under influence when I hit her car. It was late at night and I was going back home from some party I didn't even want to attend. The things that happened there. God. Calla was in that car too. If something had happened to her I wouldn't be able to live with myself," he shuddered at the thought.
"Why didn't I hear about it anywhere?" It should be all over the news.
He let out an empty laugh and shook his head.
"I didn't even get punished for what I did. They shut them all up by stuffing their mouths with money. It was never found out I had alcohol in my system. Hell, nobody even knew I was in an accident," his voice was filled with resentment.
"You know, I was so wasted I didn't even know what happened until next day. Calla and I were unharmed, but Lily got injured badly. Doctors said it was a miracle that she survived."
"You don't have to talk about this right now," I said. What he did was not right. But did it change the way I saw him? I didn't need to answer that. What kind of person did that make me?
"You're right. It makes me sound so helpless even talking about this," he said.
"No, it doesn't," I said, putting my hand on his arm.
"I'm tired of people telling me that. Tired of everyone trying to tell me that it wasn't my fault when it clearly was. It's because of me that a child will have to grow up without a parent. And there is nothing I can do about it. Nothing!" he clenched the steering wheel tightly.
"Asher," I tried to comfort him.
"How will I ever get past it?"
The traffic was sparse, but I still thought he should pull over. He wasn't emotionally stable at the moment.
"I think you should pull over," I told him.
"It's alright. I'm fine," he said, looking sideways at me. He gave me a reassuring smile. I nodded and shifted my eyes ahead.
"Asher, watch out!" I yelled as my eyes grew wide. A truck came straight at us out of nowhere. Asher swiveled the car at the last moment, saving us from colliding with it. But the car skidded on the wet road and ran into a large tree. The last thing I felt was a sharp pain before it went black.
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Honestly, I don't know how I feel about this chapter. I'm a bit iffy about everything that's happening. Maybe because I really think this book needs a rewrite with a lot of things that happen differently. Tell me what you guys think. I will still complete this book the way it is because a lot of you guys love it and I don't wanna keep you hanging until I rewrite it. That could take years! Lmao 😂😂
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Also, this chapter is dedicated to BookBirdy2404 because she made a lovely banner for Asher's Heart. You all can check it out on her book Banners and Covers.
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Bye!
-K