The Constant & The Winter Soldier – Future Plans
The next time you are awoken, you realise that something big must be happening. The base is unusually active. There is a hangar incorporated into the mountain that is so large that it stores and acts as a runway for planes. These you find are flying out at all times of the day and night.
Two days after wake up, Maggie calls in to see you. The Winter Soldier is away on mission and Alex Pierce is back in the States so you both have time to spend with each other and to catch up. She looks tired and you ask her if she is all right. She smiles and tells you not to worry, blaming everything on age, and once again you feel the terrible guilt of being someone who never has to worry about getting old. It is a guilt you wish you did not have.
She tells you that you and the Winter Soldier are on the move again.
"Am I allowed to know where to this time?" you ask, and she nods.
"America. The land of the free," she says, tongue firmly in cheek. "You're going to be based at our Washington camp. It's about thirty miles outside of the city, but we also have an inner-city vault we will be using for the Soldier."
"How soon until we go?"
"As soon as his current mission is over with. Things are..." She searches for the right word. "...hotting up. Alex's new project is almost ready, and he wants his assets close and to hand."
You nod. "Am I allowed to know what this new project is?"
"No. I'm sorry, Freya."
"But it involves the Winter Soldier?" you enquire and she nods again. You can see it costs her not being able to tell you more. "I thought I would help you pack."
Over the course of the next day, Maggie tells you about the new base you will be on and one thing is obvious: you will have more freedom, your waking quarters will be on the surface. You will be able to breathe fresh air and watch as the seasons change. You will also be able to encourage the Winter Soldier to see those things. You have never forgotten his face when he watched birds fly on the thermals. Was he thinking of freedom you wonder?
During one of your chats, Maggie sits you down, and you know this is always a precursor to something serious. She has a warning for you. Alex is concerned that because you and the Winter Soldier are to be stationed in America, it may mean that the Winter Soldier could be prone to remembering things that he should not. That he will find more things familiar even though the base is in Washington and not Brooklyn.
"So his mind wipes and programming will be more severe," Maggie says, and you nod. What they give with one hand, they take away with the other.
"I don't think you fully understand," she says. "If either of you show any...inclination to do anything you shouldn't, the punishment will be severe. Even...life threatening. Freya, you can't make any mistakes. Please. I need you to realise that. If Alex thinks in any way you are going against Hydra it will mean your death."
You try to smile. "I know that, Maggie. And I promise." You have lived your life on that knife edge before, with Lehmann. Not so much with Caldwell, but you knew exactly what you signed up to with Pierce.
Maggie looks down at her hands. "If you do...do something against Hydra, I won't...I won't be able to help you," her voice is quiet and you know exactly what she is saying. She will not go against Alex Pierce.
"I know," you say, just as quietly. "I'll behave. I promise." I just won't let you know what I'm doing.
By the time the Winter Soldier returns, Maggie has gone. She has arranged for the moving of your belongings to the new camp, and has advised you that both of you will be flown to your new home the next day. Once there you will both be placed in cryo after a couple of days grace to settle in. Some of the techs and guards will follow you there and you have no one left to say good bye to. The Winter Soldier's team won't change, and will work out of the base as well. You guess that it is a base that trains the STRIKE teams, and you would be right.
Things will be different...but the same.
*
You are onboard the aeroplane, staring out of the window and the Winter Soldier is watching you. He has been out of cryo long enough to start having thoughts of his own, but the headaches have also begun. The aeroplane is big enough to carry about twenty people and his team are also aboard. Some are asleep, some watching a film with headphones on. You and the Soldier are seated at the back of the plane. You can never get over how beautiful it is above the clouds, but if you had a choice you would not travel by plane. You prefer to keep your feet on the ground, and when turbulence hits you feel a flutter of nerves.
The stewardess approaches to see if you want anything. She is beautiful and elegant and you feel dowdy beside her. You ask for some water and she smiles and asks if you want sparkling or straight; you don't know what she means so you guess straight and she fetches a bottle and glass for you.
"We'll be landing in about half an hour." She smiles at you again, and tries to hold onto the smile whilst looking at the man opposite you - but it's clear that he unsettles her. She does not ask him if he wants anything.
"Thank you," you reply, and she leaves you in peace. Truth be known you are feeling air sick and will be glad when the plane lands.
You take a sip of water and look at the Winter Soldier. "All change again," you say without thinking, and he looks at you for a moment.
"How so?" he asks, not understanding your comment.
"Another home. Another base."
He is quiet for a moment. "How many bases have we been to?" he asks and you curse inwardly.
"One or two." You shrug your shoulders and turn to look out of the window again, but he hasn't finished the conversation.
"Three or...four?"
You turn back to him. "Um..." You pretend to think whilst you work out if it will be detrimental to him to know that part of the truth, but you cannot see any danger in the information. "This will be our fourth. And, apparently, our living quarters will be on the surface again. Which will be good."
This time it is him that turns and looks out of the window indicating you hope that the conversation is finished with.
"Do you know where it will be?" he asks out of the blue.
"Where what will be?" you ask stupidly.
"The base." And now you look across at his team. They are not taking any notice of you. You keep your voice low.
"America." But you can see he is waiting for more. "I believe just outside of Washington, but that's all I know. I'm thinking it might be one of the STRIKE team camps, we were...posted to one before."
He nods and goes back to looking out of the window.
He watches the clouds, wondering what it would be like to be free. He knows such thoughts are forbidden, are against his training, against Hydra, but every so often they creep unbidden into his mind. Sometimes he feels that he is getting to a point where he will know more about himself but then something seems to come along and take it away. If he questions anything, then that to is taken away. He is learning to be quiet, and to pick up information when and where he can. He clenches his fist, he wants to lean forward and tell Freya he is having thoughts that he thinks are memories. But then his head starts to hurt and he remembers what they told him about her – that she has no loyalty to Hydra, she cannot be trusted with too much. He is told to just use her as a chattel, that she is no more than a servant.
The saddest thing in the world is what he does not know, what he does not realise. At the end of this mission time they will wipe him and he will forget all of this and have to start again. His life and thoughts are like a never ending circle, he just does not realise there is no end to it, never a finish line he can reach. Each time he has to start again following the circle.
Your plane lands at a private airstrip connected to the main base and Maggie is there to meet both of you and take you to your quarters. You enter a building very similar to Caldwell's old base – they all seem to be built to the similar designs. You are both tired after the flight, and Maggie tells you to settle in and she will come back later and show you around. All of your clothes and belongings are there in your quarters already. Maggie has been busy. For once she talks directly to the Soldier.
"Tomorrow whilst I show Freya around, Felix will give you a tour of the camp. I hope that's all right?" He doesn't have a choice but she wants to keep him happy for your sake. He nods and then you find yourselves alone.
You wander around the rooms and realise they're definitely the same layout as before: bedroom attached to a living space, kitchenette and windows you can open, a small patio you can sit out on. When you go into the bathroom he hears you squeal and comes in.
"What is it?" he asks and you point excitedly.
"A bath! We have a bath as well as a shower..." And you can see he is totally perplexed by your reaction. The look on his face being one many men have had when confronted with a woman's reaction to something and they are not sure what they should reply. You turn and move up close to him, put your hand on his arm and stand on tip toe and kiss his cheek, he is so close and you can smell him, see that he needs a shave, feel his body heat. "Wait until you soak away your aching muscles," you say.
He looks at you and you see a change come over him, one that makes your heart race; a softening as he looks at you. "Maybe my muscles ache now, perhaps you can show me?" he says, his voice husky.
And you respond because you need his closeness, you need him as much as he needs you.
*
You would like to be able to say that life settles down at the base as you thought it would – and it does it is just you and your Soldier are in cryo. When you are next brought out you discover eighteen months have gone by in a blink of an eye.
*
He awoke shortly after you. He is back to using cryo pods and you are glad, although his pod is so much more complicated than yours and is powered still by the mysterious blue light. You once asked one of the technicians what it was and he gave you a long and extremely boring explanation of something he called a Tessellate. You wish you had not asked.
You get the feeling this wake up is not going to be a good one. Sometimes there is a palpable distance between the two of you and this time is no exception. He had been wiped before he was frozen and he has been for his programming and now he is cold and distant with you. His headaches are bad again and he is bleeding from his ears, nose and even sometimes eyes. His whole mind is being scoured each time, raked and shredded. It is a wonder he survives.
They put in new layers about his surroundings, about being in America. The mind wipes will be more profound, more detrimental. Pierce does not want anything coming back to the Winter Soldier about his previous life. He needs to be based over here; there is more and more that will be happening and Pierce wants to make sure all his assets are to hand and that includes his soldier.
A new layer has been added regarding the Constant as well. Alex Pierce does not want her gaining any power over him whatsoever, and he is sure he has seen a new closeness developing between them. The new layer makes the Winter Soldier suspicious of her, tells him to only trust those loyal to Hydra. It tells him she has no loyalty to Hydra; ironically, it is just confirming the truth. But worse for their relationship it makes him more paranoid, more jealous than ever before. This, coupled with the message that she is untrustworthy sends mixed feelings, mixed messages until it comes to a point he no longer knows how to feel about her, how to react. One minute hating her, the next wanting her, then next thinking she will leave him for someone else and that causes panic which circles back around to hating her. These feelings have always been there, but the programming just intensifies them more and more – encouraging the madness in him to take hold until one day he will not be able to control it at all.
Freya is to be used as an exit point on the current mission. 'But do not trust her too much', he is told time and time again until he gets to the point where even to look at her makes him confused, angry, makes his head hurt because something in him wants to trust her, something tells him he can trust her. But then his paranoia will kick in, is this how she operates? She makes him believe she is trustworthy? And yet deep down inside common sense nags at him. If she cannot be trusted, if she is not loyal to something then why do Hydra choose to use her, why not use someone else instead?
You think everything is running smoothly, you met the Winter Soldier on time and now you are on your way back. And then up ahead you both see a hastily constructed road block. The block is not a serious one, just two policemen and one car, they don't really have a chance of stopping anyone but at least they are trying.
"Don't stop. Keep your foot down." The Winter Soldier says to you, unholstering his gun and ensuring it is loaded. You are beginning to feel sick.
"Shouldn't I stop and..."
"I said drive!" And with that he puts his foot over yours on the accelerator and pushes your foot down. You nearly lose control of the car and the tyres squeal. The road block is coming up fast and you see the two policemen in the middle of the road with guns raised and ready to fire.
"Drive!" he yells at you again. He's taken his foot away and you floor the pedal. The car heads straight for them and the Soldier leans out of the window, taking careful aim, and fires. One man goes down clutching his leg and the other leaps out of the way as you drive the car through them but at the last minute you swerve to one side, hit the kerb and then try to straighten up. Because you rebound off the curb it forces your car into the police car; there is a terrible grinding noise of metal against metal and the police car ends up facing the wrong way, and then you are away. You hear shots being fired after you.
"What the hell are you doing?" the Winter Soldier angrily shouts at you.
"I didn't want to run over the man you shot!" you yell back, and for just a second he looks at you in disbelief. "What? What?" you yell.
He looks out of the back window and sees the one remaining policeman on the radio. The man then runs to his partner in the road. All he can do is stare after you in frustration as he waits for an ambulance for his partner and pray they will get you further up the road.
After a few turns as instructed by the Soldier, you realise you are heading into the suburbs and you find your hands trembling. You hear police sirens in the background. You haven't got long before they spot you. The Soldier is scanning both sides of the street and suddenly he yells at you to stop. You do.
"Out...get out!" he yells throwing open his door and climbing out of the car.
There is no one around and you follow him as he runs up a driveway to a car and before you can say anything he smashes the window and reaches in opening the door, telling you to get in. He then breaks open the steering column by clubbing it with his gun and, after tearing out the wires, somehow he starts the car. Just as he is reversing it off the driveway someone comes flying out of the house.
"Hey! Hey, that's my car!" the woman screams. You lean forward looking at her and put your hands up mouthing the word sorry. The Soldier ignores her and, after throwing the car into forward gear, he takes off down the road again.
"Get on the phone and tell them whats happened. Tell them we need a new exit route!" he growls at you and you lean forward to pick up the phone...that you realise you left in the other car.
"You've done what?"
"Well I didn't know what you were doing! You could have told me!" You try to defend yourself but you know it is solely down to you. Normally the phone is in your pocket but you had taken it out whilst you were waiting for him and placed it on the dashboard.
He looks at you for a brief moment and you see his mouth tighten. Then he turns back to the road. He is now driving on one of the main routes and you can see he is thinking. You see signs pointing towards different places. He knows anywhere they head on the main road will lead to more road blocks and the owner of this car will already be onto the police reporting it stolen.
He starts to slow the car until it is nearly stopped and looks at a small road going off to the right, leading to a park. He turns and drives the car slowly down a tree covered tarmac road. About half a mile down there is a track leading off and he takes that and you find yourself being driven down something that is no more than a rutted track. It comes out to a small clearing where the trees are being cleared. There is no one around.
He pulls the car over to the side of the track where it cannot be easily seen and tells you to get out.
"We'll go through the park and see where it comes out. They'll be looking for us to be driving in the other direction..." and he turns and jogs through the trees until he comes out to the edge of a clearing. It is a makeshift car park. There are four cars parked around you, but no sign of anyone.
"Can't we just take another car?" you ask quietly and he shakes his head and slowly walks forward into the car park, looking into the other cars. He finds one of interest and then looks around makes sure there is still no one about. Getting his knife out somehow he gets the window to slide down – you're impressed and tell him so. He just looks at you and you decide that it would be best if you say nothing for the time being. He opens the car door.
"Keep a look out," he growls, disappearing into the interior of the car. The day is warm and she is in jeans, jumper and trainers. He is in his normal uniform and his arm is uncovered. He searches and comes out with an man's old jacket he shrugs on so his arm is covered and she hears him pop the boot.
In the trunk, under a blanket, he finds a ladies handbag and some bottles of water. He rifles through the bag and finds a mobile phone; it's old, but if he is lucky there maybe some life left in it. He looks around and then back down at the phone and switches it on. Eventually a welcome screen comes up and tells him there is no service. He switches it off and puts it in his pocket. He still can't believe she was stupid enough to leave their telephone in the car, but somehow he has to admit it does seem like the type of thing she would do.
"Do you have any money on you?" he asks her and she nods; she has some notes in her pocket. He closes the bag and returns it to where it was. He hands Freya one of the bottles, and she gratefully drinks some of it down. He then relocks the car as he doesn't want anyone to realise straight away that anything has been taken. The park is basic but there is a board with an old laminated map showing where you are in relation to the surroundings. Then, gathering his bearings, he trots out of the car park and into the trees with Freya following behind.
It is a large park: mostly made up of trees, ferns and bushes. The makeshift paths are more for ramblers and you find it hard to run on them. After fifteen minutes you need to stop for a rest.
"Wait. Wait!" you call. He looks back and his pace slackens; you are stood on the path hands on your thighs trying to get your breath back. He is barely out of breath. How can that be? Well, you know how, but it still seems unfair.
He scans the trees and seems to like what he sees. He relaxes, and turns and begins walking, you take a deep breath and follow, you can't afford to lose him, but you don't know if he can afford to lose you. Surely not.
Or is that wishful thinking?
One thing is clear: you really are going to have to think about your fitness training.
You have been thinking whilst you were jogging. They nearly caught you this time. The police. Somehow they seemed to know in a quick amount of time where you would be and they tried to stop you. How did they know?
The wood starts to thin out and the trail becomes more of a pathway. He stands, waiting for you to catch up, when there is a sudden crashing through the trees. He immediately raises his gun in that direction, you catch up.
"What is it?" you whisper, but he ignores you. Then, out from the trees bounds a dog with a stick in its mouth and you can't help but smile - until you realise the Winter Soldier is going to fire, thinking he is under attack.
"No!" You pull the barrel down and stand in front so he can't get an aim. "It's okay. It's not an attack dog. Please, it's all right."
You turn and try to shoo the dog away but it is so happy it sits. It fully trusts all humans. Stupid mistake.
"Go away. Go on." You make shushing noises and you wave with your hands but instead it gets up, trots around you and sits in front of the Winter Soldier. It drops the stick at his feet and the Winter Soldier blinks, the gun in his hand now hanging at his side. The dog sits, calmly but panting, tongue lolling out, tail thumping the ground.
He is beautiful, a black and white spaniel. Old but still full of fun.
You watch.
The dog looks at the Winter Soldier, then nudges the stick closer to him with it's nose. It then sits back again and looks at him.
The Winter Soldier looks at you, annoyed. He is starting to show emotions, he has been out of cryo for too long.
"What is it doing?" He places the gun back in his belt.
"Come here, dog." You crouch down and beckon, but the dog stays focused on the Winter Soldier. You sigh. "He wants you to throw the stick."
He looks at it, then behind him; he wants to get moving. He focuses on you again, not realising he was going to ask it he asks you. "Why?"
"Because he wants to play." You shrug, standing up.
The dog looks down at the stick and then back at the Winter Soldier. You are worried as the owner should be around here somewhere and if they turn up this could turn into a meltdown with civilian casualties. "Just throw the stick. That will get rid of him."
The Winter Soldier picks up the stick and looks at it, then, using his right arm he throws the stick. The dog immediately jumps up and plunges off; following its trajectory.
The Winter Soldier seems to shake his head in total bewilderment and you walk to his side and you both continue down the path. This time, when you both hear the rustling he doesn't draw his gun, he knows exactly what it is.
The dog.
It reappears, stick in mouth, and bounds up to the Winter Soldier. You want to smile, but the Winter Soldier is frowning.
"It's okay," you say, touching his arm. Normally, he would shrug you off but there is a confused look on his face and your heart starts to race. His mission programming is coming to an end, and he is struggling to get through.
What do you do?
The same game is repeated and when the dog comes back again, you are both walking towards a small lake with a bridge over it. Shortly after that the boundaries of the park are close by and hopefully somewhere you can find an area where the phone will work. You walk over the bridge with the dog following you.
You still cannot see anyone else. Where has this dog come from?
You look at the time; you have already missed the rendezvous point. They are not going to be happy to find you have both gone AWOL. You are not supposed to know there are tracking devices in both of you, but you do and so you know it won't be too long before Hydra zeroes in on the two of you.
"We need to go. Just throw the stick behind us and when he runs off we will have to run in the opposite direction," you say. The Winter Soldier has the stick in his hand, the dog is looking at him, all four paws set on the ground and ready to go.
The look of annoyance reappears on the Winter Soldier's face, he looks at you and a cold feeling runs through you; you should not give give him orders, ever.
He swaps the stick to his metal arm, draws it back and throws it; the stick sails through the air but in the opposite direction to the one you meant. The dog dives after it and you hear the stick fall in the water.
The Winter Soldier hears it too and frowns; that is not what he meant to do. He had been walking away but the splash stops him. Why you don't know, but you both look back, a louder splash follows and you know the dog has jumped in the water.
For the first time in forever, a look of concern is on the Winter Soldier's face.
"It's okay, it's a spaniel. He'll be fine, they like the water." But as soon as the words are out of your mouth you know he is not listening to you; instead he takes off running back in the direction of the lake. You follow. On the way he shrugs off the jacket and you pick it up out of habit.
You reach the edge just in time to see the Winter Soldier dive in and something in you cannot believe what you are seeing. The Winter Soldier is supposed to be cold, unfeeling on assignments; the only time he has shown feelings is when he is angry, those are the worst times, because he can be so cruel.
Has the dog triggered something buried deep inside him? He did once tell you he liked dogs. These are the times when you believe that James is still buried in there, that the Soldier becomes a hybrid of his new self and his old – what must the confusion in his mind be like at these times? Do the memories if that what they are, show as something he thinks is part of the mission?
The dog is struggling; he is old and the cold water is numbing his joints, he is beginning to panic. You see the Winter Soldier reach him, grab him by the scruff of the neck and swim back, you get to the edge and try to help but he doesn't want you to.
The bedraggled dog is held in the metal hand and is thrown onto the bank; it gets up and shakes itself. You can't believe it but it still has the stick held firmly in its mouth.
The Winter Soldier pulls himself out of the water; he is soaking wet and filthy with the scum off the top of the lake. You wait until he is out and hand him the jacket to put back on.
Suddenly you both hear a shout and a whistle. The dog hears it to and without anything more it runs off.
You look at the Winter Soldier and he has pulled his gun out and is aiming it in the direction of the call. You weren't paying attention, you should have had the Winter Soldier's back.
"No. I think it's just the owner," you say pulling on the barrel of the gun. Water runs out of the barrel onto the ground and the Winter Soldier seems nonplussed; after the tension you can't help but laugh.
Laughing is the wrong thing to do but it is more of a reaction to what has happened than the fact you find the whole thing funny. That is the second time in the last ten minutes you have taken control of the gun. He turns away and starts walking, checking his weapon as he goes. You stand there for a moment before you follow after him.
How are you going to explain his appearance to the team?
"Wait," you call and he stops and turns, the gun in his hand by his side. His eyes now blank. He looks at you coldly, as if you are someone he does not like but has to put up with.
"Is your arm okay? You didn't damage it, did you? I mean, the water didn't do any damage?" you ask. He moves his arm. You can hear the rings seem to be engaging and it sounds okay. "What...what shall I tell them when we get back about....? I mean they'll know especially when they see you like that and the ruined gun."
You wait for him to say something and instead he takes a silencer from his belt and calmly screws it on to the gun.
You are confused, there is no danger present.
There is only you present.
Only you.
Nothing seems funny any more. He aims the gun at you.
"Shall we see if it still works?" He raises it further to the centre of your forehead and you turn cold. This is the Winter Soldier you know, how could you have forgotten him? You feel anger surge up.
"Why are you doing this to me?! Why? What have I done? For God sake why are you pointing it at me when you didn't even point it at the dog!" your voice wavers, you have forgotten that he had pointed the gun at the dog – it had been you that stopped him from firing - but he just keeps the gun aimed and looks you straight in the eye. "Maybe I didn't point it at the dog because I like dogs."
You wish you hadn't asked the question. The missing part of the answer was obvious – and because I don't like you.
You begin to tremble. You don't mean to; his hand is steady and his eyes are no longer blank. You can't help it, you close your eyes, you barely hear the noise the gun makes as he pulls the trigger but you are aware you are still standing.
You open your eyes, he has fired the gun straight into the ground next to you and he is now unscrewing the silencer. He pockets it and then turns and heads off. Part of you doesn't want to follow, you just want to stay here, to run away. He is getting cold and distant again, how long will it last?
You look after to where he has gone and, without consciously thinking, you start to jog again. Who are you trying to fool? Were you going to leave him? Really? So what if he is going to be cold again and treat you as if your life is worth nothing to him, you'll take it, you know you will. When it comes to the Winter Soldier you can't help yourself and there is no one else that can help you. You are on your own.
You reach an open area, it turns out to be the back of a shopping mall car park. He already has the telephone out and is speaking to someone. He sees you appear in the treeline and then looks away. After a minute he switches the telephone off and you come up to stand next to him as he scans the area.
"Did you reach them?" you ask. He looks down at you.
He thinks about what Felix has just told him. Someone on the mission had leaked something about it and that is why the police were able to start setting up check points so fast. Felix asked if he thought it could be Freya and he looks at her now. She didn't want to run the policeman over, she would have stopped if it had been up to her. She didn't bring her telephone but left it in the previous car. She slows him down. But he looks at her now and he cannot believe it: there are no sides to her, she is who she is and sometimes she is hopeless. That thought almost makes him smile.
But then, they had told him she has no loyalty to Hydra. When it comes to Freya his mind is all over the place; he swings one moment from hating her to wanting her and that annoys the hell out of him.
But there is one thing he knows she cannot do and that is lie. Especially not to him.
"Did you tell the police where to find me?" he asks and sees the shock and disbelief on her face. No, he didn't think so but he had to ask.
"Fuck off. Just...fuck off." You are so angry you could spit at him. You turn and walk away, finding a fence you can sit on and he leaves you alone until one of the team's SUV's turns into the car park. You see him talk to the driver and then he beckons you over. As you walk to the car he takes out the stolen phone and launches it back into the woods. He gets in the front of the car and you get in the back.
You cannot help but wonder what you are going to be asked when you return to base. As it is he goes off for mission report and Felix asks you what happened. He can see you are tired, and out of sorts, but you tell him. You even mention the dog. He nods at the end. That is just what they have been told by the Winter Soldier.
They think there was a leak on the mission and that is what they had told the Winter Soldier when he had finally phoned in. Felix is glad that it is not you. He had already told Pierce and you would have been surprised to hear that Pierce had agreed with him already that it could not have been you, 'she wouldn't put him in danger, shes not that stupid ,' had been Pierce's words.
*
That night, the Soldier dreams. One of those dreams that seems so real. He knows where he is – France - but he doesn't know who he is. It is an autumn morning; there is a chill in the air but the sun is out and trying to warm things up.
He is with a group of soldiers in a Jeep travelling a back road with wide open fields. He is in the front with the driver. The man is Welsh. He can hear the tyres on the road, feel the bumps in the road. He has cadged a lift with them back to camp. It is so real he feels he could reach out and touch the man next to him.
Two of the men in the back are Canadian and are talking about their sweethearts back home when suddenly a young girl runs out into the road and the driver has to slam on his brakes. She is waving them down and talking very fast in French.
"Please help me, help me..." She is in her twenties, and is very much in distress and as they stop he jumps out of the Jeep.
"It's okay Miss. What is it?" he asks as he approaches her and she is talking again and pointing across to a house where she must have come from.
"She's fallen into the water. She can't get out. I can't swim, please help, please don't let her drown!" He only has a basic knowledge of French but he understands her plight. He and several of the men follow her as she runs back to what looks like a huge old pond of some kind. The water looks deep and murky in the middle and there are old lily plants scumming up the water. Right in the middle is a dog who bravely is trying to keep its head above the water. It is tangled in the lily leaves and cannot make its way back to the bank.
The girl is still talking. "She's old, she can't get out, and there is no one here. I can't get her out, please help me, I don't want her to die."
"It's okay, it's okay. What's your name?" He wants to calm her but he can see the dog is in trouble, it is trying to tread water but is only small. A poodle he thinks.
"Marion..." she says.
He has always had a weakness for dogs. His parents have always let the boys have one so he has grown up with them. Some of the other men have turned back to the Jeep, unwilling to help as it is just a dog but he and the driver can see the poor animal struggling in the water.
The driver looks at him. "After you, sergeant," he says.
"Okay, Marion, do you have any rope? Anything we can...?" He looks back at the water just in time to see the dog go under and the girl cries out.
Without another thought he dives in, gasping; the water is freezing cold. Even now he can feel how it freezes his bones through to the marrow but he eventually gets hold of the dog by the scruff of the neck, brings it in close to his chest and swims back to the bank.
Marion is crying but smiling, holding out her arms to take the dog who is covered by now in green scum, and the driver helps him out of the water.
"Bloody hell, Barnes," the man says to him and the Winter Soldier repeats the words in his sleep. "Regular hero you are then..." The driver had grinned.
Marion is talking to him, thanking him profusely. She stands on tip toes and kisses him on the cheek, which makes him blush and feel warm. The dog is trying to shake itself in her arms. He looks down at his uniform; he is soaking wet, the shirt he thinks is probably ruined, he is going to be in trouble when he gets back to camp.
It is not a dream. It is a memory. It is something that really happened and todays escapade has brought it to the surface.
He is about to reply when they hear a noise overhead and they look up to see an aircraft flying over; it is low and the men in the Jeep wave. Then the memory begins to fade and when he looks back down somehow he knows he is no longer in France. He doesn't know where he is but there are long tendrils of a red plant wrapping themselves around his feet. The girl has gone, so has the Jeep, and the men but the pond is still there and now the tendrils begin pulling him towards the water. The water is red - only he knows it is not water, it is blood, all the blood he has spilt and he opens his mouth to scream.
Someone is shaking his shoulder and he awakens.
"I wasn't sure if you were having a nightmare," Freya says her hand still on his shoulder. He is drenched in sweat, and he closes his eyes for a second. She takes her hand away and asks if he is all right. He nods.
"Was it a nightmare?" she asks and he looks at her.
"I don't know," is his reply.
*
The Winter Soldier is woken in short succession three times over the next six months. Because they know that these missions are on the books they have not sent you to Cryo and you find you are getting used to the freedom they are allowing you. Nothing serious. Maggie shows you the way to the inner-city base in the bank vault of an old disused bank. They even use you twice to drive there on your own to deliver items.
During the three missions you are still used as an exit point. The missions are all within America and so you find yourself getting comfortable with driving on the roads.
You get the feeling that whatever it is that Hydra is up to it will soon be coming to fruition. You realise they are beginning to allow you a bit of freedom because you are so far from Pierce's radar you are not even a blip. He has forgotten about you – or so you believe.
An idea forms in your mind, one that you cannot ignore. One you start to plan without even acknowledging it. What if for some crazy reason the Winter Soldier finds himself free of Hydra? Here in America?
You cannot help him escape from cryo, from the base; the plan needed would be way beyond what you could manage - but you could always put something in place that may help him should he escape his leash one day
A simple thing. A bag. Planted somewhere around the city. Or maybe several. No, it would be better to stick to one or you may get caught and it would be of no use to anyone then. In it would be money, maps, a weapon, a warning about the tracking device. The more you think about it the more it becomes feasible until it is all you can think about.
You could hide it when you are next used as a exit point, or as a delivery person to the inner-city vault. They never check to see where you have been – they assume you wait at the rendezvous each time but it would not take a lot to take a small detour. Maybe place the bag at one of the railways stations. In one of the lockers.
Over the next few missions you and others seem to 'lose' certain things. A gun from one of the STRIKE teams in the vicinity goes missing; it is only a hand gun that you can hide easily enough, you hope the real owner doesn't get in too to much trouble for losing it. You find an old backpack in stores that no one will miss. You tell Maggie you need some items to update your wardrobe and then each time you take that money and hide it away. Just a few things here and a few things there. Stupid things like some small bottles of water and packets of jerky which are kept in store for when the Winter Soldier is out on reconnaissance and they need to send him with supplies. You cannot fill it with too much, just the essentials. Oh, and don't forget a knife: where would the Winter Soldier be without a knife?
From what you hear about the base and see with your own eyes things definitely seem to be taking a turn; everything seems to be speeding up. You get the chance to leave the bag at a central railway station on one of your trips in. The key you keep close and when you think it may be the right time you will give it to the Winter Soldier. Each time he goes out now you put a small pouch in his combat trouser leg pockets which you tell him is cash in case he needs it.
One day you will also include the key to the supplies and you have to hope that you will recognise that day when it comes.
And you will.
Because when the day arrives, it is the day you die.