Captain America Bucky Barnes Winter Soldier Steve Rogers Fan Fic - The Constant

Chapter Seventy-Six: The Winter Soldier Meets Bucky Barnes

The Winter Soldier Meets Bucky Barnes

My Dearest James,

This is so difficult to write because I don't know what to tell you: what is important, what isn't. When you are reading this I don't know how much you will remember of your past life or of your current one.

Your name is James Buchanan Barnes. Your friends and family call you Bucky.

How do I know this? Any of this? Because you told me.

When we realised what Hydra was going to do to you, you shared some of your memories with me so that one day I could recite them back to you. Something tells me that I won't be able to keep that promise in person and so instead I have written what you told me in the notebook that is with this letter.

You were an American P.O.W. and Zola experimented on you trying to find the secret of creating a "Super Soldier". You were rescued by your friends, but then a year later you fell into Hydra's grip again. This time they made sure you could not be rescued. You and I met when you were brought injured into the field hospital where I was working. A few days later, you were taken by Russian Intelligence and that is where Hydra heard about you. I did not see you again for several years. I thought you were either dead or repatriated. I had no idea that you were a prisoner, or that you were going through such awful experimentation. They needed an English-speaking nurse and heard about me and I was brought in to translate, and so we met again. That was 70 years ago. I have covered a little part of this in the notebook you will find in the backpack. On each page of the book is a memory you entrusted to me. They took them away from you. They took so very much away from you.

The most important thing for you to know is that Steve Rogers, your friend and lover, is still alive. You believed him to be dead and he believed you were too. Please believe me when I say if he had known you had survived the fall he would have moved heaven and earth to rescue you, to have you back with him. He loves you and has never gotten over losing you. Hydra told us he had died. That wasn't true. Enclosed you will find a leaflet for a museum called The Smithsonian. Please try and go there, it will tell you a lot of what you need to know. Then afterwards, find Steve. He will help you. He still loves you so very much. Don't be alone when you don't have to be.

In the backpack should be things you need. I tried to put myself in your position and I hope I haven't failed. You are free, and you must not let Hydra take you again. You have two tracking devices that they can use to find you. One is in your left arm, about half way down. If you open the arm you will find it buried under the circuitry and you can remove it without it causing any harm to your arm. Look for something emitting a low red light. However, the second tracking device is more of a problem. It was placed within your hip bone and I do not know if it can be removed without surgery.

During your time with Hydra you were given two different lots of serum. The first one was faulty and that is why your body is scarred in places: that serum could not repair all of the damage done. The new serum was corrected – repairs all new scars but leaves the old ones. The tracking device was put in before you were given that serum. If you look on the left hand side of your hip you will see a small X like white scar. X marks the spot.

When you begin to remember, you must then fight to remember - your mind is programmed to produce debilitating migraines if you learn too much about yourself. I hope that one day you will be free of these, but now you know they are why when you try to think of your previous life you are crippled with pain.

Oh, James, sitting here now I look back at our time together. I should have helped you more. I should have tried to get you out of there and away from them. I should have done something. You once even asked me to kill you and I couldn't even do that simple thing. I failed you. I can only ask your forgiveness that I was too weak to do either.