Stefan & His Friend: The Constant
You are both at the meeting. Caldwell is droning on and on about figures, and you have switched off. You look across at Stefan to find he is studying you and you don't know why. He realises you are staring at him and he smiles as if he has been caught out. You smile back and look down at your note book and start to doodle, thinking about the Winter Soldier.
He is always on your mind.
You wonder how the mission is going. You have been told he will be back later today, and then tomorrow you will both spend the day catching up on things before finally returning to cryo-freeze the day after. Your catching up will be supplies needed and then closing down your quarters. His will be any training or recovering from injuries, if he has been unlucky. At least during these days you get to see him and you hope he remembers you to the point where he will allow you to share his bed tonight.
Stefan has known her for a long time; they are friends, but he has taken the sight of her for granted. He doesn't know what made him first notice. Maybe when Caldwell started to recite figures and Stefan's mind started to go numb and he looked at her, really looked. She is bruised but that is nothing new; the Winter Soldier has only been out of cryo for three days, not enough time to know who she is...but then he noticed her clothes. It is the stitching that caught his eye. Her blouse has two lines of stitching that are not part of the pattern and now he thinks about it he has realised her clothes are always shabby, always stitched together and, blushing, he realises why.
The Winter Soldier is never gentle.
The next day Stefan makes an effort to look at her, at her clothes, and they are all damaged and restitched in some way. Everyone is so focused on making sure the Winter Soldier has what he wants, but who looks after Freya? When did she last have new clothes? When has she ever had new clothes?
A memory slides into his mind. Freya is always stealing Caldwell's secretary's elastic bands when she is not looking so that she can tie her hair up. He once saw her rooting about in the bins and pull out an old tablecloth the chef had thrown away and guiltily walk away with it curled in a ball in her hand. Stefan wondered why at the time, but never put two and two together. He is sure now that one of her nightdresses looks remarkably like the same pattern of the table cloth. When he and Jakobs have had to attend her after the Winter Soldier has been too violent, her clothes have always been ripped to shreds. What does she even do for new underwear?
It bothers him. The whole treatment of her bothers him. He and Jakobs try to keep an eye on her between them and they have even been able to recruit a few of the guards to keep watch, but he has never thought about the mundane things of everyday life. How does she cope? Where does she get the things she needs?
There is a system in place for the Winter Soldier...but what about his Constant?
Three Months Later
Stefan has been sent on a mission of his own; nothing glamorous, they just need to pick up supplies from a black market dealer in America. A quick in and out. They use him for all sorts of quirky things now.
He is always sent with a bodyguard, named Gregor, who acts as a driver. Stefan is not sure if it is because he needs protection or they don't want him to defect; it is the last thing on his mind. Where would he go?
The meeting goes well, and they are driving back to the rendezvous point when he sees something in the distance.
"Go left...go left," he shouts at Gregor, and the driver obeys - not quite knowing why they are driving into a shopping mall car park. In America they are all over the place; you can't seem to go a mile without passing one.
"How long have we got until we need to be at the strip?" Stefan asks him. They have a plane coming in to pick them up and return them to the base. All under the radar, Hydra has agents everywhere, in every country; it gives them the freedom they need.
Gregor looks at his watch, then back at Stefan. "Three hours. It will take us two to get there."
Stefan grins at him. "How much money have you got?"
He keeps grinning as he gets out and the driver follows him. He is there to make sure nothing happens to Stefan; they have been on quite a few trips together now and he can't help but like the man. Not that he lets it show, but they are comfortable in each others company.
Stefan heads into the mall which turns out to be just one huge shop. He has had an idea. It will get him into trouble with Caldwell, but will be worth it. He has money left from the transaction, emergency funds, and whatever the bodyguard has on him.
It should be more than enough.
It is not until he gets in there though that he realises he may have bitten off more than he can chew. He is in the women's department and it is massive, with so much choice. How do the Americans do it? Where do they get so much merchandise from?
He turns to Gregor.
"Okay, um..." he is at a bit of a loss and it it makes Gregor smile inside.
"If you told me why we are here..." he says, shrugging, and leaving the sentence open.
"We, my friend, are going shopping..." Stefan is looking around.
"For?"
Stefan looks back at him.
"For the Constant, for Freya," and he smiles again.
Gregor looks at him, long and hard and Stefan's smile disappears. The bodyguard seems to make up his mind.
"And what size is she?" he asks and both of them look around again.
"I haven't got a bloody clue," Stefan admits.
Gregor stands for a while looking and then sees something and taking Stefan's arm drags him over to a customer service point. They are the only ones there and Gregor smiles at the lady behind the counter.
In poor English he explains that they are from Bulgaria (Stefan tries not to show that that is news to him but he guesses that it is because Gregor does not want to say they are Russian). He and his friend, he looks at Stefan, and Stefan smiles at the woman, want to buy clothes for Stefan's girlfriend back in Bulgaria but they don't know where to start. Could she help them?
Stefan's smile is infectious. He is one of those non threatening men that women cannot help but like. He reminds everyone of their brothers or sons. The sales assistant smiles back at him and asks the same question as Gregor had.
"What size is she, sir?"
Stefan blinks and makes a gap with his hands "Her waist is about this size and...she's tall." It is obvious he doesn't know.
The woman makes up her mind. She is a sucker for helpless men, especially when they are accompanied by a huge gorgeous man like Gregor, and although she has always been wary of foreigners, she loves the accent.
Gregor will come out of the transaction with her telephone number.
She emerges from behind the counter. "Is she my size?" she asks. Stefan looks at her and shakes his head.
"Okay, if you look around, can you see any women that appear to be like her?"
Stefan does, no luck until Gregor kicks him and nods in a certain direction. There is a shop assistant who looks to be about the same; a bit shorter but a good enough match.
"Ah, that's Mandy, let me see if she is free," the woman goes over and talks with the girl and then brings her back. "Mandy will go with you; just show her what you are after and she will point you in the right direction size-wise." She smiles at Stefan, then looks at Gregor who beams at her. She blushes.
Mandy leads them over to the middle of the clothes and asks what it is Stefan wants for his girlfriend.
"Everything," he says simply.
"And we only have 45 minutes," Gregor reminds him.
She looks at them, startled, but her friend is right: they have the most gorgeous accents she has ever heard and they are both so cute.
"Okay," she says. "Lets go."
Fifty minutes later, the two men emerge loaded up with bags. They have blouses, tops, skirts, jeans, jumpers, night dresses, multipacks of underwear (despite everything, this made them blush), tights, stockings, and whatever it is that holds stockings up. Choosing a bra size was hit and miss but he thinks if they have got it wrong Freya can alter them. Then a hairbrush, a bag of something called scrunchies and hair bands, two pairs of one-size-fits-all slippers, socks of various sizes and colours, and finally some soaps and shampoo that Gregor threw in one of the baskets from beside the till.
Whats more they haven't even spent all the cash they had on them.
Both men are a bit overwhelmed, but they load it all in the car and drive away. Gregor knows he will never ring the telephone number the women has given him...but he will keep it just in case. The shopping trip has done them both good.
When they get back to base Stefan knows he needs to play it right with Caldwell, but he also knows that honesty is the best policy. Freya and the Winter Soldier are in cryo-freeze with no solid date for when they will next be let out.
Stefan requests a meeting in Freya's quarters with Caldwell. Stefan has never sought out an audience with Caldwell, and he is intrigued.
"I want to show you something," Stefan says, unlocking the door and stepping into the shared quarters.
He takes Caldwell over to the wardrobe and shows him the clothes in there for the Winter Soldier.
"Hmm," says Caldwell. "I don't understand what it is you are getting at here," he thinks he must be missing something. He is.
Stefan opens the other wardrobe, and shows him Freya's clothes: three careworn blouses, two skirts, her nurses uniform. Then he takes him over to the drawers and, feeling slightly guilty, opens them showing Caldwell the patched underwear, the two nightdresses - one of which, he explains, is made from an old tablecloth.
"Every time the Winter Soldier...assaults her, he tears her clothes. She has hardly anything as it is, she tries to make do with what she has," he says.
Caldwell runs his hand over his face. "You brought me here to talk about wardrobes?"
It takes Stefan a while to make Caldwell understand. In the end Caldwell holds up his hand. "I'll talk to my secretary about it, we'll get her some...things."
Stefan coughs. "Well, sir, I had the opportunity to get some and took the chance. I know it was wrong not to ask you up front but...well, to be honest, no-one else cares and it was a spur of the moment opportunity."
Caldwell looks at him and Stefan says nothing. He has done all the explaining he can.
"Do I want to know?" Caldwell asks, looking grim...when inside he is finding the situation amusing.
Stefan blinks and then shakes his head. "Hmm...next time ask my secretary...no, better still, talk to my secretary and tell her to set up some sort of...budget or something so Freya can ask her for what she needs...and you..." he points at Stefan, "don't go behind my back again, understand?"
Stefan nods, wide-eyed. For a moment there he was worried he had over played his hand.
Ten Months Later
You have been brought out from cryo-freeze, and you head back to your quarters, your head hurting, but slowly coming around. They will wake the Winter Soldier tomorrow. Stefan has insisted that you need to sleep. He is grinning at you, but you are not sure why and you assume it is because he is glad to see you. He even gives you a hug.
You let yourself in and as usual someone has aired the room, opened the patio door, filled the cupboards with food. You are so tired you fall into bed and are asleep in minutes, and for eight hours you are oblivious to the world around you.
Once you wake you feel better, you swallow your tablets and open your wardrobe to put your clothes out for tomorrow. Then you will shower, change into a nightdress and sleep again.
Instead, you do a double take.
The wardrobe is full of clothes you have never seen before. There are v-neck tops in all colours, new skirts, a pair of what appear to be blue hard wearing trousers - the label calls them jeans - new blouses. Nothing is torn, nothing needs to be repaired. You cannot believe it. Turning, you go over to your drawers and find the same there: new underwear, bras, socks, packs of stockings and something called tights. In the bottom drawer are new nightdresses.
You can't help but feel excited. You have never seen anything like it: never seen so many clothes in one place, and you go back to the wardrobe running your hand over the soft materials. Who did this? Who put them all there? What do you wear first?
You choose an outfit. Blue skirt, a lighter blue blouse, and after your shower you dress in new underwear and one of the new nightdresses then, exhausted, you fall back into bed again and sleep. When you wake the next morning you think you may have dreamt about the new clothes but no, they are still hung there and for the first time in a long time you smile. It isn't just the pleasure of finding the new clothes. It is because someone somewhere has thought about you. You don't know who, but they will never fully understand how much this has meant to you. No more stealing odds and sods here and there to try and keep the clothes going that you had.
Later, Caldwell's secretary comes to see you and you ask her if she is responsible. She smiles because she likes you and says no, then she asks if you can't guess and with that you know it must have something to do with Stefan. It is the type of person he is. Thoughtful. You are so glad to have a friend like him; you feel blessed. She explains that there is now an account set up for you for anything you need, you just need to let her know and it will be organised.
You then go to see Stefan. They are waking the Winter Soldier up later and you know you will not be able to thank him then; it will be days before you and he can talk without the Winter Soldier suspecting something that is not true.
He blushes when you hug him and promises he is always here for you, and you both cry because to have friends is a truly wonderful thing in life and it means so much to you both.
"Come on now! A right couple we are! We'd better go and see what's happening," he smiles and then kisses you on the cheek. You look at him and nod. For the first time you notice he has grey in his hair and you wonder when that happened. He is always here for you and yet you spend most of the time asleep when he may need your help.
It's as if he reads your mind. "Stop worrying, will you." He squeezes your hand. You nod and duck your head.
For the first time ever it is occurring to you that both you and the Winter Soldier are being left behind in the ageing process. Your friends and colleagues are getting older and they are changing and so is the world outside. It is daunting and it is a thought you tuck away for another time because right now you don't want to think about it, right now you feel happy and you want that feeling to last for as long as it can.