Chapter Forty Three
The glowing lights on the stage are cut and the audience is left standing in the dark. The crowd is relatively quiet, but there's still people calling my name out. My heart feels like it's about to pop out of my chest at any moment, like I'm going to vomit all over myself.
"You can do this," I remind myself.
The dancers run out on stage and I follow. We walk onto the platform and take my starting point in the middle. There's three girls on either side of me — just like an arrow-head. One by one, the lights on the front of the stage come on to the beat of the song. As each light comes on I have to remind myself to breathe.
I close my eyes and tune out the crowd and focus on the music and the beat. The loud base makes the stage shake and fills my body with excitement. When the beat for the first line approaches, the spotlight flicks on me and blinds my vision. As I stare up into the light, Alex's nagging voice consumes my mind and it's almost like being in rehearsal.
I don't let the bright light falter my performance, I smile and prepare my voice to sing. I hope my voice will work when I open my mouth. I can only hope the fear don't catch my voice.
"I said I didn't want to, not again-ain-ien,
I'm staring at this blank page thinking why-y-y?
How did this happen again?
I said I couldn't do this, do this,
Yet you threw me in the deep end,
Lost and confused, oh I'm still dazed." The heat from the light above me begins to heat up my skin.
Not even halfway through a song and I can feel the build-up of sweat forming along my forehead. The sickly build-up is already making me feel incredibly uncomfortable. But I see the thousands of hands waving in the air as people jump in the crowd.
"Take my hand and save me, save me,
Pull me from the deep end, deep end,
I'm reaching out for you, take my hand?" I throw my hand out in the air as I reach the ending line.
The way the crowd is reacting, my nerves drizzle out of my system. Instead of the nervous wreck, it's replaced by the confident Sienna who's out to accomplish the world and more. I've worked so hard for this moment, and I'm not going to let anyone tear it away from me.
Just like we practised beforehand, as the chorus comes up, the group struts forwards and down the stairs so that we are on the middle open section of the stage. As I sing each line of the song, I move my feet in synchronised steps.
As the song comes to an end, I do the last dance move. Half bending my legs, I take one step to the side and straighten up. Pushing my weight onto my right leg, I go to spin but I get my legs tangled and fall flat on my face.
A stinging, throbbing sensation pulses through my cheek. Looking down at my hands and legs, I see that I've snapped a heel. One of the backup dancer helps me up and I thank her. I quickly stretch my limbs out as I check to see if there is any other damage done.
When everything appears fine, I look back up at the audience. I see the glowing lights of cameras flashing and phones in the crowd. I shiver on the inside as I realise how much I've just royal messed up my first song.
I have to hold back from the urge to run off stage and cry into a deep bucket of triple chocolate ice cream. But I know that'll make this situation worse. I just need to laugh it off, that's what Riley would do. But then again, Riley wouldn't be standing in front of thousands of people.
"Well that hurt." I chuckle into the microphone awkwardly. The crowd around me starts giggling. Balancing on one leg, I unbuckle my shoe and flick it off. "Oh boy, I'm going to be that weird girl in the room with no shoes," I continue to say and I remove the other one. "I have a feeling my sister is more concerned that the shoes are broken and not me being hurt." As the audience continues to laugh, I take a deep breath and try to shake off the terrible incident. I can only keep trying.
"This next song is awesome, and I know you guys are going to love it!" I say as I flick my shoes off to the front of the stage and out of the way.
The band starts playing again and the opening chords give me enough time to fall back into sync with the music.
"I've been running from today,
Searching for tomorrow,
Still lost in yesterday,
Do you feel the same way to?" I break away from the dance sequence. I have a feeling Alex isn't going to be impressed, but I feel so trained, so cold trying to dance and sing. I'd rather be a stiff person on stage and connect to an audience and I'd also like to avoid falling on my face again.
"Where am I now?
I've fallen down,
Can you catch me?
Oh, will you find me now?" I wiggle my hips to the side as I slowly walk across the front of the stage.
"I'm searching for the right way,
to say to you right now,
I don't know what to say...
But you take my breath away!" Once the song ends, we play a couple more before we hit that break to change outfits. Before I leave the stage, I take a minute to quickly address the crowd.
"I can see these beautiful signs in the crowd so I just want to take a minute to read out some of my favourites," I call out. The crowd goes wild and the people holding the signs shake them in the air.
"The first pink one here is adorable." I point to the left side of the crowd. Another spot light appears and highlights the bright pink poster with glitter writing. "Please Read Me! You're my inspiration."
It's only three words crafted on a piece of paper, but those three words move me completely. I feel a tingle crawl down my spine and the hair on my arms stand out.
"I want you to all know that I don't just consider you as my fans. I've never done anything like this before — stand in front of a crowd and laugh away a painful mistake, or sing in front of an audience bigger than my shower. This isn't just my journey, but our journey together." I pull off my bracelet and chuck it into the crowd.
I go through the crowd and read out as many posters as I can. I pull off excess jewellery and my shoes and throw it into the audience. Once I'm finished with my segment, I wave to the crowd and walk off stage. I know this interruption is going to put me behind, but Ava must admit this kind of performance will get the tabloids talking.
Alex is standing in the side wing when I come off stage. He comes running over to me and envelops me into a tight hug.
"You were amazing Sienna!" He kisses the side of my check.
"I tripped and fell." I pout.
"Still an amazing performance." He brushes a stray lock of hair out of my eyes.
"You're amazing, being all cute and supportive!" Alex squeezes my body and kisses me.
"Sienna," Ava hollers. She's standing in front of my dressing room with a disapproving look on her face. "You've already wasted two minutes of changing time." Ava runs one hand through her hair, the other squeezing the clipboard.
"Okay." I slip inside my change room and lock the door.
"Wear the correct outfit," she says.
I move towards the clothing rack to get my second outfit. Despite the backup outfit looking more appealing, I opt for the first outfit. It's much easier to keep Ava happy than myself.