We stopped at a graveyard. It was the final place Dean wanted to go to. Chuck leaned against the car. Rowena stood silently. Crowley and Castiel both waited patiently. I stood near the open window where Tyler was leaning out of the car. Sam and Dean stood over a grave, talking in hushed and brotherly tones. I looked up to Crowley.
"You think this will work?" I asked him. He glanced over at me, not saying a word, but telling me 'yes' with his one swift look. We all fell back into silence, and that's when Dean came over. Sam stood by me and Dean stood near Chuck, opposite everyone else.
"I guess... this is goodbye." He rubbed the back of his head. Castiel stepped forward.
"I can go with you, Dean." He stated, nearly begged. Dean shook his head.
"They need you here, Cas." He said, referring to Sam and I. Castiel stood still for a moment, before pulling Dean into a tight hug.
I looked up at Dean after Castiel pulled away.
"Oh come on. Don't cry, Nell." he put a hand on my head. I held the tears down, grabbing his arm.
"Do you have to go?" I asked, even though I already knew the answer, as much as I hated it, it was yes. It was always yes.
"You'll be fine, kid. I promise." He said, rubbing my head before pulling his arm away.
"You don't know that." I said. "Dean, you and Sam are all I have."I stepped back.
"I don't know much. But I do know Sam and Cas will do right by you."Dean bent down to my height. "You're a Winchester too. You're family." He touched my face. "We don't let down family." He said. I wrapped my arms around his neck and hugged him tight.
"Why'd you say that?Why'd you say that before you have to go." I sniffled. He hugged me back tightly, and I could barely hold back my crying.
"Watch after Sam and Cas. Have their backs, okay?" Dean said.
"Yeah." I forced out.
I stood near Sam by the Impala, Castiel coming over after Dean said he didn't want him to go with him. Dean said his final goodbyes, made a joke, and he was gone.I grabbed Sam's hand and leaned on him.
"I don't want him to go, Sam." I muttered, tears rolling down my face. Sam let go of my hand and put his arm over my shoulders, pulling me towards him in a type of side hug.
"Me neither." was all he said. There was no 'but'. There was no 'it's for the greater good'. But then again, there never was with Sam. All he wanted was his big brother. I felt the same way, and looking over at Castiel, I could tell he wanted the same thing. I reached out and grabbed his hand. He looked over at me, and I just stared. He let out a breath and squeezed my hand tightly. Sam let out a breath.
"Who wants a drink?"He asked, everyone looked at him.
"I do." Crowley said. That caused us all to load into the impala and drive off to the nearest bar and wait.
Bars were always abandoned in those apocalypses movies. This was no different. Crowley immediately walked behind the bar and grabbed a bottle from the top shelf. He poured himself a glass as Rowena sat down at the bar, and in a moment of kindness, he poured her a glass too. I suddenly wished I could drink, I was feeling like hell. Crowley glanced at me,pausing for a moment before glancing over at Sam, who had sat down on the couch after making a space for Tyler to sit in a booth near the window and helping Chuck into a seat of his own. Crowley nodded at me, beckoning me over. I went and sat on the stool in front of him.
"If this doesn't work,it's the end of the world..." Crowley set a glass in front of me."Drink up." He filled it half way before grabbing his own glass.
After more drinks than I could probably handle, I sat nearby Sam, who looked over at me and my now warm, reddened face. A hiccup escaped me. Sam raised an eyebrow.
"Are... you drunk?"He asked. "You were over there with Crowley for a while..." He muttered. I looked over at him, my vision blurring in an out as I watched him watch me.
"Well... I-I'm not drunk." I slurred. He smirked a bit. "You're drunk." I pouted and crossed my arms. "I haven't... drink a drunk in... in my whole life..." I managed to say, only realizing how terrible it must have sounded after I said it. Sam patted my shoulder in a comforting way.I felt a pit form deep in my stomach. "Is there anyway we can get Dean back?" slurred. Sam didn't say anything.
My stomach convulsed and I leaned forward with a groan, realizing that pit inside me was made up of both heavily intoxicated emotions and four glasses of top shelf alcohol. I wanted to throw up and cry all at once. Everything was quiet. Everybody was fearing the worst. And in my sadness I sat down at a bar and got myself drunk to forget. But it was hard to forget when it was all around you. I covered my face with my hands.
"I want to go home, Sam." I coughed, holding back vomit. I felt an arm pull me to the side and when I pulled my hands from my heavy eyes I saw that I was laying against Sam now.
"You should handle your stress by sleeping." He said. I bit my lip at that. "You're too young to drink, you know." Was all he said, looking back out the window after he threw the words I had said to him nearly a year ago into my drunken mind.
I was surprised I remembered that, in my drunken state. A few tears fell. The silence grew louder, and I managed to slip away into a unsettled sleep. My bag was in the car. My bear was in the bag. I would have given anything to stumble out and get it, but I had Sam to sleep against.It was alright. Well, as alright as it could have been. With my best friend gone, my older brother on a suicide mission, God dying, and everything falling apart around me. But I slept. I wanted to cry and throw up and scream at the sky. But, instead, I slept.
When I opened my eyes I was in a bed of flowers, my bag was lying next to me. I sat up abruptly, feeling no shakiness of intoxication. It wasn't until I heard a door open and saw Amara saunter in that I realized that I must have left my drunken body to satisfy some inner desire. She hadn't noticed me yet, and I watched her through thick bushes,gripping my bag with one hand and moving it silently towards me. She stared at the flowers around her, she brushed her hand past a few and they withered, dying away. She sat down on a bench in this garden and, she looked... almost upset. I peered out from my hiding place,and, by pure turn of fate, our eyes met. I froze a bit as she stared at me.
"What are you doing here?" She asked. I gulped.
"I..." I paused. "You don't seem happy..." I stepped back, moving away from her cautiously.
She held out a hand, a look of loneliness crossed her face for a brief moment.
"Don't go." Amara said suddenly. I swallowed. "I... won't hurt you."She promised. I nodded and she looked over at me as I sat down next to her, next to the darkness.
"You...seem sad." I said. "Are... You okay?"
"I...Don't understand." Amara looked around. "Why do I feel this way."
"You're brother made this simple and... Complicated thing. Don't you want to enjoy it with him?" I asked.
"Brother?" Amara scoffed "He locked me away. He betrayed me." She snapped.
"I think... I know what can help you feel better." I smiled.
"What?"She watched as I reached into my bag and pulled out my bear.
"Here."I handed it to her. She took it with a perplexed look on her face.
"What is... This?" She asked.
"My most prized possession." I said, she stared at me. "It's all I have left from my old life."
"Why are you giving it to me?" She asked, looking down at it.
"I don't know." I shrugged, "Because... I had a sibling too. And we fought. We argued. But that's just the bad stuff. This," I pointed at the bear "it reminds me of the good stuff. Maybe it'll remind you of the good things about this world." I finished.
Amara stared at the bear, trace the patterns in the button eyes with her finger, lift and feel the fabric of the clothes. She was deep in thought.
"What do you suggest I do?" She asked suddenly. I blinked, looking into her eyes before looking away.
"Why don't you talk to each other?" I asked, looking back at her. "Try to explain to each other? Just give it a try." I offered a smile. She just stared at me. "Why don't you talk about what happened?" I asked.She shook her head.
"No.I already..." She looked away.
"You both keep trying to avoid it and I don't know why..." I looked down at the ground. "You might not believe it..." I sighed, looking over to her, she was glaring at the ground. "You might not believe me... But you have a lot in common. You really do." I nodded and she looked at me, perplexed.
"What are you saying?" Amara asked. I looked up at the sky, she followed my gaze to the over heating sun.
"You both love Earth and Earth needs both of you."
Amara sighed. I looked over to her, she was fidgeting with my bear again. I leaned back.
"Look, if I were you, I'd hate him too." I said. She didn't move.
"I don't hate him..." She sighed. I blinked, not expecting that.
"But...he knew how you felt about creation and he did it anyway." I sat up straight. Amara tensed.
"That wasn't the problem." She shut her eyes. I tilted my head.
"Then...what was?" I asked. I saw what looked like a tear roll down her face as she shook her head.
"He choose them over me." her grip tightened on my bear.
Amara wiped her eyes and sighed.
"I know you both need it..." I offered her a smile. "You both really need someone." She gave me a smile as well and looked around at the garden we were in.
"I might not believe it..." She sighed. "I might not believe you...but we... have a lot in common, we really do." She looked over at me. I wondered if what was happening was a dream or not.
"I should go." I stood, "Sam needs me." I looked around, she nodded.
"It's too late now... I can't fix this. But...Thank you, Nellwyn." She muttered as I got up and left, waking up in my room on the couch of the bar, and struggling with the voice in the back of my head that insisted it was all just a dream.
I sat up and looked out at the bar. Castiel sat with Chuck, Tyler slept soundly on another couch. Crowley and Rowena stayed at the bar. I shifted and realized that I was in fact still laying on Sam, who was saying nothing. He just stared out the window.
"Sam?" I rubbed my eyes and he put a hand on my head. Dean should have been talking to Amara right about now. So I settle back down and waited for any sign that the world was fixed, that Dean did it. The sign that told Sam that his brother was gone, and the sign that assured me that Sam was all I had now.
Suddenly Chuck was gone,and the sign came like a beacon of hope.
"You guys." Tyler muttered when he had woken up and looked out the window at the very moment a bright light began to overtake the sky. Castiel, Crowley, Rowena, Sam, me. We all turned to look out the window with Tyler. We all got up and walked outside, looking up at the sky as the sun gathered itself in order to return to normal.
"He did it..."Rowena muttered. "He bloody did it." She said again in disbelief. Castiel swallowed.
"And... Dean?" He asked. I gripped Sam's hand. No one said anything else for a while.
We drove Tyler to the nearest hospital. Crowley and Rowena went their separate ways. I sat in the back of the impala while driving in silence with Sam and Castiel. It was done. It was over.