Chapter 6
- Just close your eyes -
I woke up at seven the next morning Echo was still sound asleep. She had rolled over in her sleep and no longer lay across my chest. This was much too easy, I slipped carefully out of bed and pulled my hoodie back on. I didn’t want to leave without saying goodbye so once I had all of my stuff gathered back up and I was ready to go I quickly jotted down on a piece of paper the simple words of “Don’t give up on me. I will be back.”
I walked down to the state building hoping I could catch Mrs. Andrews there. I guess hope wasn’t the right word, more like taking a wide stab. It was cold outside, a bitter cold with a wispy breeze here and there. As the sun began to make its appearance I studied it inventively. I had always loved the sunrises when I was a child. The serenity and calmness of the world t this time, there was no pain, no busy streets, no arguing. Just the sun illuminating the world once again for a new day. I brand new day, a day that could be anything you wanted it to be. I smiled at the yellow hues were cast upon my cheeks embracing me in its warmth.
I stood by the front doors with my bag on the ground by my feet. I waited for what felt like ages before a small red car pulled into the parking lot. “You young man,” a modern woman stepped out of the driver’s side door, threatened with a waving finger. “You have caused me more trouble than any other kid in this system. And I’ve dealt with some pretty bad kids.” She began fiddling with her keys trying to unlock the door while balancing her coffee and a file folder in her other hand.
“Would you like some help?” I offered reaching for coffee which was on the brink of tipping over. I grabbed the cup just as the burning hot drink spilled all down my arm and onto my shirt.
“I am so sorry,” she started as the door finally opened. “Come on, you don’t want to sit out here in the cold, you can come into my office and get cleaned up.” I followed closely behind her in to the back offices.
I slipped into the restrooms to change my clothes and wash all the sticky coffee off my arms. When I was finished I drug my bag into the hall and started back towards the doors. “Kaden,” the woman called from her office. “Come in here for a moment.”
“Yeah?” I asked poking my head in the door.
She gestured for me to sit in one of the chairs in front of her desk as she continued to rummage through a filing cabinet. Before too long she found what she was looking for and say back down in her chair. “Can I get you anything? Some water, coffee, some breakfast?”
I hadn’t eaten since I left the hospital, so something to eat sounded good. But I respectfully declined her offer not wanting to cause her any inconvenience.
“Kaden, why don’t you tell me a little bit about yourself?” she asked putting down one of the files in her hands.
“Don’t you have something better to do than listen to a poor kids backstory?” I asked her with a smirk hoping to drop the topic.
She smiled and laughed a little behind closed lips. “Well considering I was moved to your case, it’s now my job to listen to your backstory.”
“Well it’s nothing out of the ordinary I guess. Probably the same backstory you’ve heard a million times by the last kid that sat in this chair.”
“Every story has its own unique twist, without one it wouldn’t be much of story now would it?” She said leaning in closer to me. She was determined to know everything about me before diving into my file.
There was no reason to elaborate on my past or mention all the hairy details “I was abused, that’s all there is to tell.”
“I can respect that,” she nodded. “When you’re ready to tell me more you just let me know.”
She left the room for a while giving me time to collect my thoughts. Why she wanted to know all this information was a mystery to me. I had no idea why she would care about a kid like me, I was already in the system. Why would she care to know everything that happened prior to my case?
When she returned she closed the door and handed me a bottle of water and a donut.
“Kaden, do you want to go to West ridge?” She asked sitting in the chair next to me.
“I don’t really have a choice do I?” I stated cracking open the water.
“Well, that’s one way to look at it. But what if you did have a choice? In an ideal world what would you be doing instead of West Ridge?”
“I would be staying here. I don’t feel like I’m a troubled kid that needs to be isolated from the world and controlled like some animal,” is what I wanted to say. But the real words that came out were more of a mumbled “I dunno,” complimented with a shrug.
“What do you think would be beneficial to your situation?” She just kept digging deeper and deeper, trying harder and harder to get into my head.
“You need to go to get out of everyone’s hair here. You need to go somewhere where it’s their job to help you. Because let’s face it, no one would waste their time piecing you back together unless the state was forking over the money. Go while you have the opportunity.”
I swallowed hard and took a leap of faith. “I want to stay here,”
She nodded and went to say something else but was interrupted by the door opening. “I’m sorry I didn’t realize you were with someone,” the intruder apologized before asking to speak with the woman. I still didn’t know her name, she didn’t wear a nametag, nor did she had a plate on her desk.
I just wanted to get out of here, all I could think about was Echo waking up all alone, just to a lousy note. She didn’t deserve that kind of crap.
But I was leaving now, and I wouldn’t be able to hurt her like that ever again.
The woman left before someone else came to escort me back out to the main lobby of the building. A tall, skinny girl with red-brown hair that hung to her waist was standing near the door with a smile "Hi, Kaden I'm Emma. I'll be driving you to West Jordan today,” She greeted me offering to take one of my bags. I declined and followed her to the car.
Throwing my bag in trunk, I caught site of someone sitting in the front seat. I couldn’t tell who it was but I assumed it was another foster kid going to West Jordan as well. I climbed into the backseat taking my backpack with me, sinking lower and lower into the seat.
An immediate sickly feeling swelled in my stomach as we pulled out of the parking lot. The distance between Echo was becoming more and more real realistic as we drove away from that small town. I sealed off my eyes tightly trying to remember the warmness of Echo in my arms. I wanted to quiet the voices again and try to get my mind off of the drive. I just wanted to feel okay again.
As we left the city limits and merged on to the freeway I began to like I would never feel okay once I reached West Jordan.
I heard Emma talking with someone in the front seat but I wasn’t paying enough attention to their conversation to take notice to their voices. I remained with my eyes closed and I focused my full attention on remembering everything I could about Echo, her smell, her voice, her warmth, the way she made my heart pound.
‘Kaden, you’re torturing yourself. Enough with the reminiscing is only going to make you suffer. She’s only going to make you suffer by making you remember what you had with her. You can't be okay. You will never know what it feels like to be okay y-’ I cut them off by squeezing my eyes as tight as I could. When to my surprise I heard a faint whisper in the background, and it was different than the rest of the voices that I heard barking. It was kind, and gentle. Like it wanted to comfort me, and make me feel safe. It sounded sweet and calming, it was as sweet as her smile.
I opened my eyes and the usual voices started bickering again. I closed them tightly again and it all stopped. I tried to concentrate on the murmurous voice in the back of my head, I just wanted to make it louder. The car came to a stop causing me to rock forward slightly and my eyes to open.
“I need a coffee, you boys’ want anything?” Emma asked looking back at me. I shook my head as I noticed who was sitting in the passenger seat. My first instinct was to run, crawl into the seat and avoid eye contact. I didn’t know how to feel about the snake in the front seat. Emma smiled before leaving alone in a cage with a bear.
“So you're the freak my sister has to take to West Jordan?" He spoke up before turning about. My heart started racing when my eyes collided with Brecken's.
"What?" I tripped over my words as my brain tried to catch up with my tongue. Why was he here? I would be the first to admit I was terrified of Brecken, especially when Echo wasn't around to keep him calm.
"My sister offered to drive you to West Jordan- God knows why- but she did." He retorted returning to his seat back with arms crossed against his chest.
'Well… at least Brecken knows a freak when he sees one.'
The coy voice began to silence the others. 'Kaden don't listen to them, you're not a freak, you're just you and that's all that matters.’
The tone wasn't like the ones I normally heard. It was nice, almost like it wanted to help me. Honestly, knowing that Echo was now cooped up in my head was only driving me crazier. She was so close but I couldn’t have her.
I knew she would wait for me to come back though, she wouldn’t just give up on me I told her I would be back. She would wait for me.
‘Yes, just like how she kept her promise to look after you every single day while you were in the warehouse. She left you there to die, she wanted you out of her hair. She’s not going to wait around for a boy with mental illnesses to come back and sweep her off her feet. It’s time to start being realistic. Get your head of the clouds.’ I heard my father’s voice boom through the final words. A voice that made my skin crawl and my blood rush.
'Kaden, I'm here... keep your head up. I’ll be here for you.'
I wanted to scream, I wanted to run away. I felt trapped in my own body, stuck in this seat. My lungs were swelling, breathing got harder and harder with each gasp. I felt chained and like if I didn’t get out and get some fresh air I would surely pass-out or die of suffocation. I tried to relax, taking deep breaths but nothing was working.
Opening the door I was hit with a whirlwind of a cool crisp air. Air that hadn’t been tainted with the afternoon rush hour yet, and air that filled my lungs in an instant. I stood outside the car and waited until Emma came back. I could feel my chest relax as the cold wind made my skin tighten. All I could really focus on was the ride open fields surrounding me, I could run anywhere and get out of here for a few days at least. Go back and get Echo, get a bus ticket to anywhere out of here and bail.
When Emma came back I climbed back in the car I settled back into my seat, I tried to relax, but Brecken was making that almost impossible. The tension in the car could be felt all around us in the silence. I kept my eyes closed and tried harder and harder just to focus on that one voice trying to stay calm and collected.
We drove in complete silence which is the way I preferred it. I liked silence, but it wasn’t quiet long.
We made another stop in a town called Payson for Emma to get another drink and use the bathroom. Once again leaving mealone with Brecken, and I was still terrified of what he might do. I watched closely as he leaned forward in the seat and turned back to look at me. "So you and Echo seem to be getting close.” I didn’t respond with any more than a nod. “You know she’s only hanging out with you because she feels bad for you. She and I are sleeping together. We have been for a while now. Kaden, Echo doesn’t love you so don’t let her trick you into thinking that she does. She is just looking for someone to screw around with, she only reached out to you because she knew you would be easy. I know Echo better than anyone, and that's all that girl wants. She can't love Kaden, she's a slut, she sleeps around with people who are hurting, don't waste your time with her."
The voices were laughing so hard I could barely hear him as he finished. They were snickering saying I told you so and repeating some of his words just to be sure I knew exactly what he had said. “She’s not a slut,” My lips had a hard time forming the words because I didn’t know if I could believe them myself. But as I said the words I began to believe them. "Echo is not a slut,” I said, this time with more power in my voice. I jolted up from my slouch to get closer up in his face. “She may not be in-love with me- but she is my friend. And I know she's not a slut. Some friend you are." I spat. How could he- or anyone say something like that about Echo?
Brecken’s eyes widened as a sarcastic smirk smeared across his chest "Whoa, the little freak can talk?"
His words made my blood boil, I was so tired of being called a freak and being told I was nothing. I don’t know what came over me other than just pure determination. Determination to get back to Echo, and to get people to see that I was more than just the quiet abused kid. I wanted to be recognized as a human. I wasn’t a violent person, most boys with angry dads adapt the same behaviors but my father’s disciplinary techniques caused me to take the opposite approach on life. I never wanted to hurt anyone, but after everything was building up inside I couldn’t find the will to stop myself.
I clenched my fists tighter and tighter with each passing second, I don’t remember exactly how it all happened, the only thing I recall is my fist slamming into the right side of his jaw. Quickly collecting my backpack I leaped the backseat and ran. With no sense of direction and no final destination in mind, I just ran.
Running was one of the things I actually enjoyed. The blood pounding through my veins reminded me I was alive. When I was younger and I would run from my father, when I felt like I was on the brink of death, the slamming of my heart in my chest was the one thing that reminded me what it felt like to be living. So I ran. I ran to feel alive, I ran to stay alive, and I ran because I was alive.
Dashing through streets and across front yards, desperate to get as far from Brecken as possible and stay away. When I felt I was far enough I tucked myself away behind a vacant house and hid out there for a while longer. When I could tell no one was looking anymore I ventured back out onto streets and reached for my outdated flip phone in my pocket. To my devastation my pocket was empty. My phone must have escaped while I was running, or even worse, it was helpless on the floor of Emma’s car.
The sun crept higher in the sky, it couldn’t be later than eleven, Echo had certainly found my letter by now and was more than likely heartbroken. That alone was enough to make my heart sink. I had to come up with a new plan to reach her. She was really the only one I wanted to hear from right now, I wanted to hear her real voice, not the one I had conjured up in my head.
I set off down the street in hopes to find someone mowing their lawn or taking out the trash, preferably an older man. One of the main advantages to living in a small town was that no one worried about strangers, nothing ever happens in quiet small towns.
I weaved through a few blocks before finding the perfect target. He was an old man, his skin wrinkled with a thousand stories, he was just finishing up some yard work when I approached. “Good morning sir,” I greeted him reaching over the white picket fence to shake his hand. He greeted me and took my hand with an elderly smile.
“What can I do for you young man?” his voice was rough and rugged, but it was warm and filled with wisdom.
I smiled and began telling him the story I had rehearsed in my head while walking. “You see, I’m the water boy on the Cedar City High School football team and we stopped through here on our way to Ogden for a big game. Some of the guys thought it would be funny to lock me in the bathroom though and the bus left without me. Could I use your phone to call my coach?”
I didn’t know anything about football or which teams played which so I was just hoping my story sounded believable enough for him to let me inside. “Sure,” he grinned. “Phone’s right through the front door on the wall by the kitchen. You head on in there, Milly is making breakfast. You’re welcome to stay as long as you need.”
Alleviation flooded through my soul in a calming stream that pooled at my feet. Opening the white fence I rushed up the stairs and into the entry way. It felt like just I thought it would, warm, antique, and slightly cluttered. The walls told their story through pictures scattered throughout the house, pictures from his wedding, pictures of his children, and his children’s children. The kitchen was empty but the entire house smelled of pancakes and grease.
I found a wooden stool under the landline and sat down. Tugging up my sleeve I tried to make out the faded numbers on my arm. It rang four times before going to voicemail, so I tried again, straight to voicemail. I dialed again, and again, and again, still no answer. I began to lose hope, I had hurt her too bad, she wasn’t going to answer to me, why would she? I tried one final time, this time I heard her soft voice answer with a “Hello,” only this voice wasn’t as lively and chipper as the one I had left.
“Echo, it’s me, Kaden. I don’t have much time to explain but I want you to know that I’m okay.”
“Are in West Jordan yet?” she asked softly, her voice still damp.
“I’m in Payson. I just kind of left, we stopped here and I ran from the car."
“Why would you do that?”
“Brecken was in the car too and I just couldn’t handle it, he was driving me crazy.”
Echo let out a long sigh before responding. “Emma drove you huh?”
“Yeah?”
“She’s an assistant to a social worker or something like that. They have her do busy work and transport kids sometimes. He only came because she was taking you.” There was a long pause before she spoke again. “Where are you exactly? I’ll get Alex to give me a ride up there and we’ll come get you and bring you home.”
I didn’t want to inconvenience anyone in making them drive all the way up here. But at the same time I didn’t really have another choice "I'm at old man’s house." I began searching through a stack of envelopes on the microwave for an address. I skipped over their names because quite frankly I didn’t care. “349 South, 700 North.”
“Okay, I’ll be there as soon as possible.”
I thanked her before hanging up. An older woman walked into the kitchen and smiled at me with a bit of shock in her eyes. “And you are?” she asked tenderly pouring some orange juice in a glass.
“My name is Kaden. The football team left without me, I was just using your phone to find a ride back home.”
“Kaden,” she mimicked. “That’s a lovely name. Sit down and have some breakfast.” She offered me a seat at the table before placing a plate in front of me with pancakes and sausage links. This is what it must’ve felt like to have grandparents, comforting and not having to lift a finger.
I thanked her for the meal before digging in. The man from the front yard came in trailing the smell of cut grass and soft dirt with him, he took a seat next to me. “I see you’ve met our house guest,” he smiled giving his wife a kiss as she served him breakfast. She smiled and gave him a nod as if saying “Eat up,”.
“So boy, where’d you say you were from? Cedar City?”
I nodded in answer with a full mouth. “We moved there when school started.”
“I see,” Milly chimed in. “It’s a great place to raise kids I think, not too big but not too small. I think it’s just right.”
I had only been there one time when I was younger, but what I remember from the town seemed nice. I had a hard time holding a conversation with the couple after that, Brecken's nasty comments were still ringing though my ears. ‘What if he’s right?’ they kept saying, ‘you don’t hardly know Echo at all; and those two have been friends since kindergarten.’
Was she really just doing all of this for me out of pity? I was falling in love with her, I knew it had to be love. ‘You loved your mom too, and she didn’t do anything to help you.’
Milly cleaned up breakfast while I remained in my chair, I knew I had at least two hours before Echo would be here, and I had no idea what I was going to do while I waited. “Did you get ahold of your coach?” The man asked pulling my head out of the water.
“Uhm,” I stammered. “Yes, I did actually. He wants me to meet him at the gas station up the street so he doesn’t have to come all the way into town.”
“Al would be happy to drive you, wouldn’t you Al?” Milly offered looking at her husband.
I tried to come up with a good excuse to walk, but I really couldn’t think of one. If Al drove me then he would want to wait until the bus got there in twenty or so minutes. When it took Echo two hours to get there he would know something was up, and I wasn’t ready to tell this man I was running from social services. “I really appreciate that but I have no problem walking, and they won’t be here for a little while. If I walk I won’t have to stand around and wait as long.”
“If you’re sure, it’s really no trouble at all.” Milly added as she washed the dishes.
“Really I’ll be fine, I better get going though I don’t want them to have to wait around on me.” I thanked them both again for being so kind and for breakfast before making my way to the front door.
When I opened the door a woman holding a fussy baby was blocking my exit. “Could you please give this letter to your grandma, it got put in my mailbox by mistake a few days ago.” I nodded not feeling the need to explain that these weren’t my grandparents. She thanked me before descending down the steps. I didn’t mean to, or maybe I did, but somehow my eyes involuntarily glanced down at the return address. The envelope was from the Point of the Mountain Prison up by Salt Lake City. What I saw next was something I really didn’t want to see, Adam Kraemer, written in thin black pen in his terrible handwriting. I could feel his evil soaked in the ink that laid in my hands.
I looked up to see Al get up to approach me. Allan and Milly Kraemer, I had only seen their names one time when I found an old wedding announcement from back when my parents were happy and stupid, exactly twenty-six months before my mom got pregnant with me. I remember holding the aged photo paper and reading over every letter a hundred times. Pictures of my mother laughing, before her smile had been robbed by drugs. My parents holding each other passionately and not forcefully. I was only twelve years old when I found the invitation, ever since then I haven’t been able to forgive myself for taking away their happiness.
“What do you got there?” My grandfather asked reaching for the letter. Ripping me from the past memory I stammered over my words.
“Just something the neighbor wanted me to give to you.”
A burning desire in my chest wanted to stay, to get to know these people that I had never met, I wanted to know more about my dad, and the rest of the family. I had never met my dad’s side of the family, ever. I guess after he turned bitter no one wanted to be around him. I really couldn’t blame them.
Allan’s hand extended out of the envelope still tightly held in my grasp. I quickly handed it over to him this time trying to run away. The man followed me as best he could into the front yard. “Kaden, wait.” He hollered after me. I was hesitant but I turned around to face him. “Are you Adam’s son?” His voice humbled as he stepped close to me.
I didn’t want to answer, but I felt as though he deserved one after all he and his wife had done for me. All I could do was a simple nod, my throat had a hard lump stuck in it.
All the old man could do in return was smile. I thought he became a bit teary eyed but I couldn’t tell. “I want to apologize for not meeting you sooner.” He reached out to shake my hand, in which I returned. “You seem to have turned out to be a respectable young man.”
“How did you know?” I asked softly.
“You look just like Adam did at this age.” There was a comforting pause for a while, it was weird staring into this man’s eyes I felt like I had known him forever. “How are you doing?”
“I’m surviving,” I sighed. I didn’t feel like wasting his afternoon with a sob story, and respected that.
That was the last I heard the old man, I’m honestly not sure if Milly ever knew her long lost grandson sat at her table for breakfast or not.
After saying my goodbyes I walked down the gas station where Emma had stopped earlier. I needed to let Echo know I wasn’t at the house anymore so I waited in line at the cash register hoping they would let me use the phone. I kept my head down incase Emma came in here looking for me. Moving painfully slow in line I finally made it to the counter, I asked the kid on the other side if I could use the phone, I told him that I left mine in the car and locked the doors and needed my sister to bring me the spare key. He handed over his cell phone out of his pocket and told me I could use that. Stepping off to the side of the line I dialed in Echo’s number. She answered right away this time.
“Hello?” she chirped, sounding happier than last time I spoke with her.
“Hey it’s me. I’m at the gas station right off the exit on the right, I’ll be out on the sidewalk.”
“Okay, we’re still about a half hour away, so I’ll see you in a little bit.”
I didn’t think it had already been an hour and half but then again I hadn’t been keeping track either. I handed the kid back his phone before walking out to the sidewalk and sitting under a tree. No longer than thirty minutes later a small black car turn around the corner. A boy with jet black hair that hung over his ears and hit his shoulders sat in the front seat, in the passenger seat was a girl with long hair in the same shade. Assuming that was my ride I picked up my backpack pulling it over my right shoulder.
The car pulled to the side of the road beside me and Echo jumped out throwing her arms around my neck. "I missed you," She smiled hugging my torso tightly. That familiar warmth crawled over my skin as she squeezed tighter.
“I missed you too,” I grinned back.
“Alright, alright, enough of the mushy teenage love crap. Get in the car, I don’t want to spend my day off in Payson.” Alex grumbled. Echo blushed slightly before giving him the middle finger and climbing into the backseat, I followed sitting beside her. The car smelt of old cigarette smoke and dirt. Garbage and dirty work shirts cluttered the floor around our feet. I couldn’t help but cough when I first got in before I could stomach the smell. Smoke wasn’t an unfamiliar in my house, mom smoked often, mix that with weed and alcohol and that’s pretty much what my father always smelled off.
Echo took my bag placing it in the seat next to us before she wove herself into my shoulder wrapping her arms around my sides. I loved having her by my side again, it had only been a few hours but it felt like torture to be so far away from her. When she was in my arms everything felt okay.
Placing my arm over her shoulder I reached for her hand giving it a mere squeeze. She looked up at me and smiled before pressing her lips to my jawbone. A slight tingle radiated off her kiss and through my body, like little prickles.
“God, this backseat is so messy you’d think you lived back here Alex.” Echo snickered thumping the back of his head.
“I didn’t ask you how you wanted me to keep the backseat, did I.” He shot back with a smug grimace look on his face. Looking at each other through the rearview mirror Echo stuck out her tongue at him. “If you’re gonna act like that you can get out right here and walk little lady.” He threatened, his tongue dripping with acidic sarcasm.
Echo shook her head burying herself in the crook of my neck before letting out an exasperated sigh. “Alex you give me stress.” She muttered.
“Just doin’ my job,” he smirked back. “Well, I’ve saved your life twice now, think you could tell me your name?” Alex looked back up into the mirror only this time he was looking at me.
“Kaden,” I answered.
“And what brings you to Payson at the crack of dawn?”
“He’s running from social services,” Echo said looking at me with some disappointment in her eyes. Like maybe she wished I hadn’t called and that I had just left so she wouldn’t have to babysit me anymore.
“All right, all right. I can handle a little illegal action. So are we taking you anywhere special?” His hands reached for a cigarette off the dash and rolled down a window. “I would offer but you look too young,” he said taking a drag.
“Because that’s ever made a difference.” Echo chimed back in.
The rest of the car ride back went pretty much like this, sarcastic remarks from Alex and Echo biting back. I would answer a few questions but most of the way I was quiet. Brecken’s words were still running through my brain, over and over like a broken record player. I wanted so badly for it all to be lies, fabrications that he had only made up to get me away from Echo so he could move in on her. I wished so much that I started repeating the longing words even without thinking about it.
We got to Echo’s house quicker than I expected we would. The car pulled to a stop in front of her house and she was quick to open the door and tug at my sleeve. She leaned over his open window before snatching a stoge off the dash and tucking it behind her ear. “What’ll you be up to today?”
“As of right now I’m going to go sleep, it’s my day off and I plan to spend it doing nothing.”
“Hey,” she shrugged. “It’s what you McQuivey boys’ do best.”
Alex rolled his eyes before driving away. Those two acted like siblings, like they had grown up tormenting and protecting each other. “Come on,” Echo sighed as she began pulling at me again.
“So why are you home so early again?” she asked pushing the front door open. I shrugged off her question in my lack of wanting to answer.
“I missed you,” A grin inched its way around my lips. Echo on the other hand was not as pleased with my answer.
He let out a loud agitated sigh before going limp and falling over on me. “Why are you being so difficult?” Her voice growing more and more impatient. Once again I shrugged my shoulders, not wanting to answer. “Will you come sit me at least?” Her blue eyes peered up at me and I nodded.
We laid on the grey microfiber couch as the sun grew brighter illuminated the room through an open window. “What’s your plan? Are you hiding again? Or are you going to turn yourself in and ask for a new family? Or however the system works.”
“I’m not really sure… I do know one thing though, I’m not going to West Jordan, no matter what.” This I was sure of, I would run until I got to Oklahoma before I let them haul me off to another boys’ home.
Echo’s index finger began to trace lightly over my chest and down my arm into my hand as she hummed a tune that sent warm vibrations through my soul. I loved laying here with her like this, this was something I never wanted to forget. I closed my eyes and began raking over every single detail. The smell of her hair, the pressure of her laying on my body, her socks rubbing against mine and the tickle of her finger. I never wanted to forget this feeling, this moment, this love.
"Kaden, will you please tell me what happened? People don’t just up and run away like that for absolutely nothing.”
Brecken’s words were still ringing through my ears. I don’t think I would ever forget what he had said about her while we were in that car. I knew if I repeated his words back to her it would only tear her apart inside. Saying them out loud would tear me apart. I decided it was best to keep this to myself. "I just missed you, honestly." I smiled my most convincing smile with the hopes she would believe me and drop it at that.
"That can’t be it? You sounded pretty upset when you called.” Her fingers weaved through my hair as she propped herself up a little to look me in the eyes.
"Yes, I promise." I must’ve sounded like an idiot, my voice shaking like I was out in the cold, along with my hands. My jaw quivered, as it always did when I was nervous or scared, a terrible habit I had picked up from my mother. Echo’s soft lips pecked under my jaw line to help ease the shake.
“Did he say anything to you?” she asked in more of a whisper.
“Yeah he said some stuff, nothing that I can really remember though.” I lied.
I could see as she grew more and more impatient with elude answers. “What made you leave?”
I wasn’t going to get out of this without a real answer, I knew that much to be true. How she would react is what I was still scared of. “Brecken told me that you were using me as some boy toy, and that you were still sleeping around with him, and a bunch of other worthless bullshit.”
Her eye dropped as her face screwed up to one side. “Don’t listen to him,” was all she could spit out. “You’re too sweet for me to hurt like that." she pecking my cheek, I couldn’t respond to her this time, saying the words out loud made them so much more real. “Don’t you believe me?” she croaked. More worry and pain filled her words as I stared back at her looking far beyond her eyes. “I love you,” she whispered bending at the waist she hovered over me.
She loved me... I believed her, I saw it in her eyes. The voices couldn’t take that away from her, they couldn’t rob her of her feelings. She had to be telling the truth, because I really don’t know what I would do if she wasn’t. I had gotten in too much trouble for this girl to turn out to be a fake.
Her nose rubbed softly against mine and then her eyes slowly closed. I could feel the warmth of her smile just centimeters from my lips. Wanting more of the pleasantry, I leaned in brushing my lips against hers. It was clear to me that a kiss wasn’t going to be enough for her, her nimble fingers tangled back through my hair as she pulled me closer deepening the intensity.
Her hands motioned down to my shoulder grabbing fistfuls of my t-shirt pulling me with her as she laid down causing us to switch positions putting me in control. I pulled out of the kiss standing over her on all fours and rested my forehead against hers. Her sparkling blue eyes blinked back to life as if in order to see why I stopped. Staring down at her my jaw began to shiver again I tried smiling to tighten the muscles and make it less but it was ineffective. Opening her mouth she took my bottom lip in her teeth, causing the quiver to cease.
"You okay?" her bite released with her question and was replaced with an index finger trailing up and down my cheek. “I won’t hurt you Kaden.” Then she paused just staring back at me. “Are you okay?” She asked again this time raising an eyebrow.
"Never better," I grinned, pressing my lips to the tip of her nose. Her head up her lips met mine once again. Our exchange continued for a while, until we must have both been sick of the taste in our mouths. She pulled out of my embrace and smiled pecking my cheek yet another time.
"Echo," I began pulling her gaze into mine. Her eyes were softened, and her hair was left in a ruffled fashion. Nothing pleased me more than being close to her like this.
She smiled at me as if saying “what” just with her eyes.
"What if they come looking for me and make me go back?"
"Kaden, I won't let them." She rubbed her nose on mine. "I won't let them steal you away from me when I’ve just finally got you." Her paradox seemed to be worth nothing, but for some reason it gave me hope, like I actually believed that she had a say in the matter and that she had the power to make it all good again.
“You don’t understand though, the foster system is an unforgiving system.”
Echo was quiet for a while before regaining her voice. “What do you think they’ll do?”
“Well… my folder is going to get a lovely red stamp on it that says I’m high risk. And high risk kids have pretty much no chance getting fostered again let alone adopted. They’re going to send me right back to a group home because those are the only people that will take me.”
“They can’t do that,” she protested immediately stiffening her posture.
“Actually, they can, and they will.” I corrected her. “I’m going to have to turn myself in tomorrow and that’s what the meeting will be about.”
Echo tightened her grip around my wrist and looked into my eyes like a helpless little girl. “Why can’t you just stay here for a while, stay hidden here? My dad won’t be home for a few days after tomorrow, you can hang low here, and it’ll be fine. We can wait until all of this blows over.”
I let out a soft sigh before shaking my head. “Echo you don’t understand this won’t just blow over, no one is going to say “Oops, don’t let it happen again.” That’s not how this stuff works, it’s a lot stricter than that.
“I won’t let them take you away from me.” She repeated putting her hands on my cheeks she looked at me with stern eyes. And I believed her, I don’t know why, but I believed that she would save me.
I was about to give her another kiss when I heard someone clear their throat somewhere behind me. Echo slowly raised up sitting on my stomach, while I was much less calm. My head snapped in the direction of the noise as my heart rate picked up.
Standing near the window was a tall well-built man with cold blue eyes and short brown hair. I wanted desperately to push Echo off me and get out of the situation but Echo’s hand wrapped around mine causing my panic to ease slightly. "Hi dad." she chirped flashing him a smile.
She introducing me to her father before climbing off my waist and giving him a hug. I sat up in hopes to make myself more presentable. "Hello Kaden,” He greeted me trying to hide the fact that this was as awkward for him as it was for me. “I just needed to grab a few things and I figured I would check in on you, but it seems you have company; so I’ll just be headed back over to Scott’s for a little while longer, you two behave yourselves please." Raising an eyebrow at the both of us I nodded letting him know I understood. I could tell he was hesitant on leaving us along as he slowly walked out the front door.
"Bye!" Echo called out as the door closed. "Hey... Are you okay?" she asked wondering over to me. Her soft palm rested on my cheek her eyes looking longingly into mine with sincerity. "You really don't have to worry about him, my dad’s cool, you don't need to be afraid of him," she reassured me. “He’s not one of those big and scary dads.” She added with a tittered laugh.
I nodded, not sure of how to respond. Reaching around to the back of my head she took a fistful of hair pulling me close to her, my forehead rested against hers.
"Are you ever gonna tell me what's hiding behind your eyes?" she asked with a soft smile.
I knew what she was talking about, I didn't exactly mean to make it obvious that I was hiding something. But I also didn’t want her to know I was a diagnosed schizophrenic. She didn’t need to know that I heard and saw things that weren't really there; she didn’t need to know everything that went on in my head. Surely she would surely think I was crazy and leave me. "Maybe one day," I replied kissing her nose. "Not right now though, okay?"
She nodded silently with her eyes down. "All right, I can respect that,"
I was happy that she wouldn’t be pestering me anymore and relieved that I wouldn’t have to come up with any more excuses. "Thank you," I replied with a smile.
She brushed her lips to mine and have me a grin “You’re welcome.” I leaned in to kiss her back but to my absolute surprise I was ripped from the couch and thrown to the floor. I closed my eyes as the pain began to swell in the back of my skull. When I opened my eyes I found myself staring up into Brecken’s flaming green eyes; which were overflowing with hate and anger. All of which seemed be directed right at me.
“Brecken, don't you dare touch him!" Echo barked jumping up to my defense; and with that tone in her voice, I would have listened if I were him. “What do you want from him- Why can’t you just leave us alone?” She was furious with him and he was furious with her, somehow I was stuck in the middle. Watching the two of them screaming at each other right over me brought many terrible memories of my parents rushing through my head. When I closed my eyes I could the two of them in front of me rather than Echo and Brecken.
"Why wouldn’t I?" he questioned with a wicked smile, with one swift move he grabbed the neck of my shirt yanking me to feet and then to what felt like would be my death. "We just need to have a little talk, Kaden and I.” His stench was one I recognized quiet well, liquor and cigarette smoke. Brecken was stumbling all over the place, he was having a hard enough time holding up his down weight let alone pulling mine alongside. I figured that wewere headed for the front door when he started off in that direction, that is if he would even make it there. “I mean isn’t that all were trying to do here? Be this kid’s friend and all?” He was tugging harder at me as if I was the reason he couldn’t walk straight. “He just needs a few friends. The poor emo boy just needs friends." He was mocking Echo’s words now, I hadn’t heard her say them, but the way he spit them out I knew he was trying to break her down.
"Brecken!" Echo called out as hethrew open the front door and me down on the lawn.
Before I could collect my thoughts he had my face pressed against the passenger side of his truck and my left arm twisted behind my back by the time Echo got outside. “What did I tell you about hangin’ around Echo?” His lips hovering next to my ear as he screamed helped him to see more intimidating. This was something my dad used to do to my mom when he was mad at her, get all up in her face like this. “Don’t you remember our little talk earlier?” He taunted twisting my arms harder. I was so shaken by the situation that I could only nod back at him which only seemed to anger him more. My arm was released right before he threw a rock solid fist into my face knocking me to my feet. Pulling myself up off the ground Iclenched my fists I ready to strike back staring at him with eyes that could kill. I was so sick of being pushed around by tough guys that thought they could punch. As he went to throw another punch, Echo grabbed his arm and spun him around throwing a knee to his vulnerables. "What the hell is your problem Brecken?!? Why can’t you just leave me alone?"
He dropped to his knees before collapsing to his side groaning outwardly in pain, no matter how bad I wanted to hit him back I released my tension with a deep breath. Echo’s embrace wrapped me up as she forced my nose to touch hers and she gave me a rough kiss. "Are you okay?" she vomited with concern examining my face mostly with her hands.
"I'm fine now." I smiled as relief trickled through my spine. She gave Brecken’s stomach one last kick before ne our way up the grass towards the front door.
"I really hope no one calls the cops," she muttered pulling to down on the couch. “Last time there was fight here the neighbors called to have it broken up.” Laying her head on my shoulder she took my hand back in hers and squeezed softly. “I’m really sorry about all of that. Really. You don’t deserve to have Brecken on your case like this.”
“It’s not your fault Echo.” I reassured her.
“What did he say to you earlier? It’s obvious now that it wasn’t nothing,”
“He just told me to stay away from you, that’s really all. He told me that you two were a thing and that he would kill me if I tried to get involved or whatever,” I didn’t want to give any real hard answers because I really didn’t want to ruin anything.
"Brecken has really bad anger problems... He has ever since his dad passed away three years ago. After that he had to become the man of the house and he got really protective of his family. For some reason he got really protective over me as well. It's like he forgot how to resolve his problems without punching someone in the face." She paused for a moment, collecting her thoughts. "I'm not saying that it’s okay, or the best solution. I'm just saying tha-"
Before she could finish that last little bit, I cut her off with a kiss. "It's okay Echo, really I promise.”
“I want you to know that we aren’t together, me and Brecken. We… we slept together one time a little while back but it didn’t mean anything. But he can’t protect me from something that’s not a threat, right?” she was becoming more and more protective herself in her voice. I nodded to let her know I understood what she was saying. "I love you Kaden," she whispered into my neck. I could hear the depth and meaning in her words and knew she had to be true. I sort of had figured out that Brecken was lying about what he said in the car. She had shown me that she cared about me and that’s all it took to have me convinced. She stood up for me, and that’s more than anyone had ever done for me.I wanted to show her that I cared about her too.
Running my fingers through her soft ebony hair, I kissed the top of her head and putting a meaning behind words I had never really said before. "I love you too,"