[Natasha and Bruce go up to Tony's room. She knocks on the door.]
Natasha: (Sighs) Tony? Bruce and I need to talk to you, so open the door, okay?
Tony: (Muffled, from his room) Why should I?
Bruce: Because you're crying...
Tony: Am not! It's spring, so my allergies are making my eyes all itchy and watery.
Natasha: And it coincidently happened right after Pepper yelled at you?
Tony: ... Yep.
Natasha: (Puts hand on her hip) Tony, let us in or else I'm getting one of your cricket piñata thingies!
Tony: Oh crap... Okay, okay! Fine, hold on. (Gets up and quickly opens the door) What do you guys want?
Natasha: To talk about Pepper. (Walks in and Bruce follows along)
Tony: I don't wanna talk about her. (Shuts the door)
Bruce: Well it helps a lot when express your feelings rather than keeping them bottled up inside. (Shrugs)
Tony: (Sighs, sitting on the bed) I know... I just don't know what I did that was so wrong... I only wanted her to love me instead of Happy.
Natasha: She already does, Tony.
Tony: But why would she still go on with the wedding?! It makes no freaking sense!
Bruce: Well now Pepper knows that all of this isn't real and that it will be fixed after you and I redo the experiment. Maybe she just thought it would look better for her to be with a man instead of a boy...
Tony: But I'm so much better than Happy! Just look at me!
Natasha: Stark, you're not listening to Bruce. He made a lot of sense.
Tony: I heard exactly what he said. (Frowns) I just can't believe she got so mad at me.
Bruce: Honestly, if I was Pepper, I would be mad too..
Natasha: Same here.
Tony: (Blankly stares) ... Okay then. Tell me what I did that was so "horrible!"
Bruce: Bro, everybody is going to call her Pepper the Pedophile now. I don't think Parker, Happy, and the others are going to let that go. Ever.
Natasha: What was Peter doing there anyway?
Bruce: (Shrugs) Beats me.
Tony: (Sighs, looking down) I guess I am a horrible person.. She's going to hate me forever.
Natasha: (Walks over, putting her arm around him) It'll be okay, Tony. And if it does end up where things don't work out with her... Well, you've got me. (Faintly smiles)
Tony: (Slowly grins) That's true... My beautiful Red Riding Hood. (Kisses her lips softly)
(Natasha rolls her eyes and kisses back, grinning)
(Bruce tries to look the other way)
(They continue to kiss)
(Bruce glances at them, raising an eyebrow)
(Natasha wraps her arms around Tony, passionately kissing)
(Bruce shifts his feet, playing with his fingers awkwardly)
(Tony licks Natasha's lip)
Bruce: (Widens eyes) Uh... Sh-Should I- um.. (Scratches head) Am I needed anymore or...?
(Tony bites her lip and pulls it back)
Bruce: ... I'mma go. (Opens the door and Clint and Steve rush in)
Clint: GUYS- (Notices Tony and Natasha) ... What the frick?
(Tony and Natasha stop and look at them)
Bruce: I'm so glad you guys came in. (Bites lip) It was getting to.. steamy in here for me... (Shivers)
Steve: I can tell...
Clint: ANYWAY. We have a visitor!
Tony: Please don't say it's Cameron.
Natasha: Aw heck naw.
Steve: (Shakes head) No, it's not. Actually it's Pepper.
Tony: (Raises an eyebrow) Um. How did she get here from New Jersey so quickly>
Clint: The same way we did.
Bruce: Loki!?
Steve: (Nods) We told him not to go back, but he was like "Why should I take orders from you disgusting mortals?" Then he left and brought Pepper back.
Tony: Grrr. I don't want to talk to her. Was there a purpose in him doing this?
Clint: He thought it would be a good time for drama to start. (Shrugs) It's Loki, what'd ya expect?
(Bruce looks out the door down the hallway, then comes back in)
Bruce: Uh, Pepper, Thor, and Loki are headed this way.
Tony: She's coming!? Crap! (Points to Natasha) You! Go over there!
(Natasha frowns, gets up, and stands beside Steve)
(Pepper, Thor, and Loki come inside)
Loki: (Smirks) Here he is.
Pepper: Tony?
Tony: (Turns the other way) The person you are trying to reach is unavailable at this time. Please leave a message after the tone. Beeeeeeeeeep. (Crosses arms)
Pepper: (Sighs, walking up to him) Tony... Listen, I'm sorry for yelling at you. I was just really frustrated and I didn't know what else to do. I still love you and I'm not extremely upset about what you did. Though, it..was a bit much..
Thor: (Chuckles) Pff.. Pepper the Pedophile. (Tries not to laugh)
Pepper: (Turns to Thor) SHUT UP!
(Thor widens his eyes and gulps)
Pepper: (Turns back to Tony) Anyway, babe, I didn't mean to hurt your feelings. Nobody is going to get between me and you, okay? We will be together no matter what.
Tony: (Turns to her, smiling small) ... Okay.
Clint: (Chuckles, mumbling) Except Natasha...
(Thor hits Clint's arm)
Pepper: (Turn around, raising eyebrow) What did you say, Clint?
Thor: He said NOTHING!
Pepper: (Frowns) Clint. I was asking Clint.
Steve: But Clint didn't um... say anything. (Bites lip) Yea.
Clint: Yes I did. Didn't I, Loki?
(Loki smirks and nods)
Bruce: Ohhh boy...
Pepper: (To Clint) Then what exactly did you say?
Clint: Well, you said nobody is going to get in between you and Stark, and I said "Except Natasha."
(Natasha widens her eyes)
Tony: Holy sh-
Steve: LANGUAGE!
Tony: (Frowns) Sh-..arks..
Steve: (Smiles, giving thumbs up) Good job!
Pepper: Clint, what do you mean "Except Natasha?" (Furrows brows)
Tony: (Stands, touching Pepper's arm) He doesn't mean anything! He was just joking around. Right, Barton? (Turns to him angrily, speaking with his teeth together) Tell her you were just joking around.
Clint: (Grins) I would. If I was joking around.
Pepper: (Steps back, frowning at Tony) What is he talking about?
(Tony gulps)
Pepper: Somebody better start talking!
Clint: I'll talk! (Smiles, stepping to the front of everyone) A while ago, Natasha began to develop feelings for Tony. Finally, Tony found out and he began to have feelings for her too. So, when I mentioned you to him, Tony said he was going to date Nat behind your back and then go back to you after he and Bruce fix everything.
Tony: I NEVER said I would do it behind her back!
Clint: But you are still basically doing that, aren't you? (To Pepper) Anyway, he stopped you from marrying Happy and embarrassed the living crap out of you, while, in essence, dating another girl behind your back. I spy a discrepancy. Anyone else? (Scans the room)
Loki: (Smiles) I do!
Pepper: ... Tony. Why would you even think of doing something like that!? Without even telling me, too! (Clenches fists, turning slightly red)
Tony: B-Babe, I can tell you're getting upset, but listen, I'm sorry! I don't even have feelings for Natasha! She is nothing to me! You're my one and only girl! She was just a um... Fling! You know how I have flings! .. I don't want another girl, I only want you! Please don't pay attention to Barton. I'll stop with this whole Natasha thing if you just please forgive me, I swear! I PROMISE! PLEEEASE, BABY!
All the guys: (Widen eyes, in a low tone) Ooooooo...
Tony: (Looks at them, raising an eyebrow) What?!
Steve: Uhh.. You just said all of that in front of... Nat...
(Tony realizes and pauses, slowly turning to Natasha)
Natasha: (Mouth slightly opens and closes, as if she is too stunned to know what to say) ... S-So, we... I was... I meant nothing to you? I was just a fling?
Tony: (Shakes head) N-No, of course not!
Pepper: But you just said she was. Are you lying to me?
Tony: (To Pepper) What? No.. I'd never lie to you. On purpose, anyways..
Natasha: (Furrows eyebrows) Oh, so I am a fling?
Tony: W-Well.. no...
Pepper: Which is it, Tony!?
Natasha: Yeah, I want to know that too!
Clint: (Smiles) This is just too good.
Bruce: Clint, when this is over, you're a dead man... And not because of me. Because of Romanoff and Stark.
Loki: Do not worry yourself, Agent Barton. This good service that you have done reserves a reward. I shall protect you from them.
Clint: YES! (Smiles widely)
Pepper: Anthony Edward Stark. Explain.
Tony: Ok, can we not bring out the whole "full" first name thing, 'cause I honestly thought I had gotten away from that-
Natasha: Shut up and start talking.
Bruce: (Raises eyebrow) Was that an oxymoron?
Tony: (Nods) Yes.
Pepper and Natasha: ANSWER, TONY!
Tony: ... Okay, I just-
Natasha: You know what, I don't even want to hear you anymore. We're finished. You're dead to me. Goodbye. (Storms out of the room, slamming the door)
(Everybody stays silent)
(Pepper sighs)
Loki: This was crazy...
Thor: Agreed.
Pepper: I'm leaving, Tony. Call me when you're ready to explain. (Walks out)
Steve: ... Things got real, bruh.
Bruce: (Nods) I'm sorry, Tony. It's Loki's fault for bringing her here.
Loki: Hey! I hope you know that this is all Clint's fault. Pepper and Tony were doing just fine before Clint opened his mouth.
Thor: True..
Tony: (Quiet for a while before turning to Clint) I'm. Going to beat. The living. Sh-
Steve: LANGUAGE!
Tony: (Clenches fists and teeth) Sh-ark. Out. Of you.
Clint: (Grins) Oooo, I'm scared. Come and get m-
(Tony runs and tackles him, punching him in the face repeatedly)
Clint: LOKI, YOU SAID YOU'D HELP-ACK! MEEE!!! GAHHHH!
Loki: (Chuckles) Oops. Lied. (Shrugs and leaves the room)
(Bruce, Steve, and Thor slowly leave out of the room as well)