11
About 1 year later
"Can I ask you something?" August, who's currently sitting beside me, asked.
"No, I'm trying to study and stop touching me, I'm trying to concentrate." I uttered. His hands were roaming up and down my thighs, sending little waves of pleasure through them as they did. Over the past year I had went back to school in hopes of obtaining my law degree. I had not spoken to King, Shanicee, or my mother since my birthday and I had no intentions to do so. The calls from the three of them ceased when I changed my number. I moved out of the house and had been living with August for the past year. At first the hurt that the group had caused me did get to me, but with the help of August I was able to pull myself out of that bad place and motivate me. I had gotten a promotion, bought myself a brand new car, and was about to finish school. The last meeting between me and my mother where she revealed her love child to me was constantly on my mind. Thinking about if I had a brother or sister out there and if she would put them through the same heartbreak she put me through was constantly on my mind but it was something that I had to push to the side as I worked towards bettering myself.
"You ain't studyin. I heard you in here talking to yourself earlier. Talking about some Im every women shit."
"I wasn't talking to myself. I was reciting a poem and you know that. You just want me to recite it for you."
"You right." He admitted. "Can you blame me though? It's sexy as hell when you talk like that. And when you be up here studying with ya glasses on and shit you be looking sexy as fuck." He ran his tongue over his bottom lip. I blushed at his comment before going through my papers to find the quote he was talking about.
"Pretty women wonder where my secret lies.I'm not cute or built to suit a fashion model's size. But when I start to tell them, they think I'm telling lies.I say, It's in the reach of my arms, The span of my hips, The stride of my step, The curl of my lips. I'm a woman. Phenomenally. Phenomenal woman, That's me." I looked at August who looked satisfied with Ms.Angelou's quote.
"Why you learnin this anyways?" He asked, getting out of his chair beside me, before walking into the bedroom.
"Because I have a final In my English course. This is part of the curriculum." I explained, picking up a stack of my papers which were scattered across the kitchen table even though he couldn't see it.
"My girl's about to graduate. Become a doctor?"
"Lawyer. Whenever you get into some trouble I'll be there to help ya ass."
"If I ever get locked up you gon hold me down?"
"Why would you be locked up?" This was sarcastically asked. I knew exactly why his ass would get locked up. As much as I wanted to deny it and just turn the other way it was clear as day that August was heading down a bad path. While he had always been in the game in some way he had never been in it to this extent. He tried to hide it from me, down play it, but I wasn't dumb. I knew that he had risen to the top and that all this money coming in was from it. It was the most money either of us had ever seen and I knew it was coming from selling a few dime bags here and there. But I played the role of the clueless girlfriend just praying that he wouldn't end up in a grave or cell.
"I don't know. For taking some lil kids candy or some shit. Is you gonna hold me down or not?"
"Yea I'll hold you down." I answered, raising from the kitchen table. Studying was no longer striking my attention plus the certain urge to pee was distracting me. After relieving myself I continued back to my place at the table. "What did you have to ask me earlier?" I called out.
"What do you think of the name Ace?"
"Ace? For what"
"For a nickname. I need something to be called out here so whatchu thi-" The sound of his phone ringing cut me. An excited hey heard from him was confirmation that he accepted the call. Pushing the mound of papers aside for later I got up from the table and walked to the bedroom entrance. "Who you talking to?" I questioned.
"The girls." He replied, referring to his nieces Chaylin, Kayden, and Amaiya.
"Who's that?" Chaylin's familiar voice interrogated.
"Ya future aunt if she quit playin these games with me."
"Don't lie to them girls, you know you the one who be playing me."
"Whatever." He smacked his lips.
"Hey auntie A."They all shouted in unison. The girls were conceived around the time that I was not around so I had never gotten to actually meet them. Regardless, the weekly facetime calls for them made it feel like I had know them forever."
"Hey babies." I responded.
"Do you love auntie A uncle?" Chaylin asked. Chaylin was the blunt one and I loved that about her. She was like a younger version of me and sneak peak of what I could expect if I was to ever have a daughter.
"I don't know. She's kinda annoying ya know? And sometimes I ask 'er to massage my feet and she say no. Can't love someone who won't even massage ya feet for you." He joked. I threw a pillow towards his head which only caused him to laugh. "Yea I love her old grumpy self." He corrected. Satisfied with the new answer I made my way to the bed, laying down against his chest.
"Does she love you?" I swear she just asked questions because she loved to hear our answers. She was like a hopeless romantic and we were her real life love story.
"Yea I love him." I expressed, a small smile on my face.
"Then why don't y'all get married?!" She asked as if it was that easy, to just get married because we claim we love each other.
"What you know about marriage anyways? You better not have no nappy headed boyfriend." August stated, shifting the subject. Why didn't we get married? We loved each other right? Would I ever see the day that there was a ring on my finger.
"I don't-"
"Yea she do." Amaiya chimed in.
"She do? What's his name?"
"His name is Bobby."
"Bobby? She datin a white boy? I think Imma have to come down to Houston to talk to this little boy. Where he live?"
"I'm not telling you." Chaylin protested.
"Amaiya. Where he live?"
"Down the street."
"Amaiya shutup before I tell him about Tom."
"Who's Tom?"
"Amaiya's boyfriend."
"Amaiya you got a boyfriend too! Where's Kayden at, I know she don't got no little white boy."
"She's sleep, but grandma said its time for bed, goodnight uncle."
"Goodnight, love y'all."
"Love you too." They said in unison before the line went dead. Every time the girls called it would leave August in a happy mood. Seeing the way he interacted with the girls just put me in a good mood, thinking of how he would treat our future little family.
"Whatchu smiling at?" He asked.
"You." I mumbled as I climbed ontop of him, straddling his waist and laying back down on his chest.
"I know that, why though?"
"Because I love you and I love how much you love them girls. And I can't wait to give you the same joy that they do one day."
"Baby just say the word I will give you a baby right now." He was joking but I knew that all I had to do was say the word and he would. He would give me anything I asked for.
And we both knew it.
****
The hot hallway air turned cool as soon as I walked into our apartment. I didn't bother calling out August's name to see if he was home, already knowing I was going home to an empty apartment on the way from school. Due to Augusts new promotion his hours home have become vague. Coming home at all hours of the night.
A large duffel bag smashed against my toes as I accidentally walked into it. A new addition to out bedroom apparently, this being the first time I've seen it. It took every inch of will power to not snoop through it. Letting it rest on the bed next to me for about an hour until I finally cracked. Taking just a slight peek at the contents. After my encounter with it I sat awake for hours ready to interrogate August on my new discovery.
The jingle at the door marked his arrival. During the hours he was away I practiced my words to him multiple times in my head. August can you please explain to me why I bumped into this earlier was supposed to be my first question but seeing his smudge face through that approach right out the window.
"What the fuck is this?!" I yelled, throwing the bag full of money and weapons into his face.
"My property. Why you snooping around my shit anyways?" He asked, a look of disgust on his face as he snatched the bag from my grasp.
"I wasn't snooping around. This bag was in the middle of the fucking room, I almost tripped over it. You can't just have something like this in here. Your just trying to get your locked up huh?"
"Just stay out of my shit."
"What's gonna happen when you catch a case?"
"I'll have the best lawyer in Nola to get me off." He replied, attempting to run his hand, which was swatted away quickly, across my cheek. "Don't worry about it. It's paying the bills. It ain't like you ain't know about it. Why all of a sudden you concerned?"
"I'm concerned because it's all up in the place that we live. You know if you get locked up and they come up in here I'm going down too because I would be an accessory and be charged for aiding and abetting a criminal. Don't get me wrong I'm here for you and I'll do anything for you but I really don't wanna go to jail. Especially since I'm about to get my degree."
"If I go down I'll take all the blame. You know I wouldn't let the blame. So don't worry about it. Stay out of my shit and mind your own damn business. "
"Your business is my business August, remember were in this together? Don't treat me like I'm one of these hoes that you can just talk to however the fuck you want. Because I'm not."
"Did I say you was one of these hoes? No. Don't hit me with that shit, you know I don't treat you like no damn hoe. If I did I would've been kicked ya ass out. Why you gotta stress me when I get home. Why can't it be like I know you had a long day so Imma not stress you. Naw you just gotta annoy me from the second I walk in. Damn if I would've known you'd be this annoying I wouldn't have asked you to live here."
"You want me to leave?"
"No I don't want you to leave." He reached out to touch me but I stepped out of his reach.
"Don't touch me. I don't want someone who I don't know to touch me."
"So now you don't know who I am? I'm August, the same nigga that been putting up with your shit all my life."
"This.This person standing in front of me right now isn't August because I don't know this person. The person standing in front of me is Ace." I stuck my hand out for him to shake it. "Nice to meet you."
From that point on things just went downhill. Augusts new persona Ace has been making more and more appearances over the past two weeks. Every other day it was a fight, most of which, truthfully, I started. The idiotic fight we had last night over the toppings to get on our pizza currently had me doubting that he'll be present for one of the most important days of my life. Not only was he not home when I left, but he's also not answering his phone. Nervous cannot even begin to describe how I'm feeling right now. My eyes kept roaming the crowd for Augusts face but my search showed no results.
"You looking for ol dude huh?" Trey asked out of nowhere, scaring me a bit.
"Yeah." I mumbled.
"If I was ya man I wouldn't ever be late for anything."
"And you'd treat me like a queen. I know Trey you've told me a million times." I responded. Trey was really my only friend in my graduating class. Ever since the beginning of Junior years he's been trying to get with me. Telling me that he'll cater to my every need and make me his queen. If August keeps treating me like I'm not shit I might just have to take him up on the offer. The voice of an announcer informing us that the program was about to start redirected my attention from Trey back to the anxious feeling forming at the pit of my stomach.
It wasn't until everyone had received their diploma that I finally accepted the fact that August wasn't coming. Since I completely cut Shanicee off and proclaimed myself as a motherless child my only support was supposed to come from August, who didn't even bother showing up for one of the most important day of my life. Whipping the few tears that had fell from my eyes away, I made my way to the car. Not in the mood to celebrate with my former classmates.
"Adira!" A male voice called out. Assuming it was just Trey I continued to walk to away. I was in no mood to deal with his If I was your man speech, especially since my man failed to show up just like he predicted. "Adira!" He called once more.
"What do you want Tr-" My shouting was cut short when I turned to see August with a bouquet of flowers in one hand and balloons in the other.
"I know you heard me calling you!" He yelled, a look of happiness mixed with frustration on his face. My tears of sorrow quickly turned to tears of joy as I ran into his arms. Caught up in the moment I leaped onto him, clutching my legs around his waist and clasping my hands over his neck, kissing him softly on the lips.
"I thought you weren't gonna make it." I whispered against his chest, inhaling the scent of his cologne.
"You thought I forgot?" He smirked.
"No I made it clear that I was graduating today. I know damn well ya ass ain't forget. I just thought work would get in the way and you'd miss it. Or that our fight last night made you not wanna come. I was scared. Especially since I didn't see you when we were lining up or when I accepted my diploma." I admitted. The pit In my stomach disappeared but my nervousness still lingered not knowing if he was still upset.
"I was kinda late 'cuz I had to get a ride, so I sat in the back, but I saw you when you accept it. That big ass smile on ya face. I couldn't miss that shit over some dumb ass fight." He explained. Knowing that he was over the pepperoni vs mushrooms dispute brought an even bigger smile to my face since I was the one who started it. "Now let's go I got a reservation waiting for us-"
"A reservation?"
"Yeah, whats wrong with that?"
"Nothing I didn't know even know you knew what a reservation was." I goofed. He gave me a stale face before walking towards the car.
The sight of Trey staring at me, through my peripheral vision, caused me to pause for a second."I'll be back just give me a second." I motioned the one second finger, before walking in the opposite direction, towards my favorite ex classmate.
"Fellow graduate!" Trey yelled, picking me up and swirling me around.
"Trey put me down." I chuckled. Hesitantly he did so, yet, his grip didn't leave my body.
"You know Imma miss you Adira. Always having to explain the simplest things to you. I'll really miss that." He joked. "But for real keep in touch. You know you was the only one I liked in this place?"
"Yeah I know." I gloated.
"How about I take you out for a celebratory dinner, tomorrow?" I bite down on my lip considering his proposal.
"Not a date?" I questioned.
"Not unless you want it to be."
I know August won't approve of me going out with another man but Trey's just a friend and as long as he doesn't find out everything will be okay. "Only dinner. Pick me up at 8." I whispered, pulling out of his grip and walking back to the car.
August must've not have seen my goodbye to Trey since he didn't bring it up when I got into the car. Driving in silence until we got to Emeril's. Thank god he had a reservation because it was absolutely packed for no legitimate reason. The two of us sat in silence as his phone consumed all of his attention.
"Are you going to be on your phone the whole night?" I asked, annoyed.
"Who was that nigga you was talkin to earlier? The one who was touchin all up on you." He responded, completely ignoring the question I had just asked. The question triggered my body to tense up. I was foolish to believe that I had gotten away with the lovey Dover situation with Trey.
"Who?" I played dumb, already knowing he was talking about Trey.
"The one you was all hugged up on."
"Oh that was just Trey." I mumbled through a mouthful of Alfredo.
"I ont like that nigga feelin on you like that. You need to tell his ass you got a nigga." He spat with a disturbed, disgusted look. "I better not find out you fucking with that nigga."
"He know I got a nigga, shit everyone know I got a nigga, I couldn't cheat on you if I wanted to." He and I both knew that. I was branded as he girl and nobody was stupid enough to try me, and I damn sure wasn't dumb enough to look at another guy. He had the whole city terrified of him and he loved it. He used his new found power as a way to make sure that I could never leave.
The rest of the outing was filled with awkward silence. Those being the last words shared between the two of us until we reached the house. Regardless of his irritation towards me he could never stays mad for long. We made up as always and the same routine continued. After making up I went on to make myself up for my dinner with Trey. I only wear makeup on special occasion but I think that a graduation dinner with a close friend is occasion enough. I checked out my outfit one last time before taking the flat iron in my hand and running it over the strands of my hair gently. The whole time I was getting dressed I couldn't get the image of Trey out of my mind. His lips, his voice, his smile. Everything about Trey screamed fine and if it wasn't for August I may have actually given him a shot.
"Boo!" I heard his familiar voice yell, causing me to drop the flat iron out of my hand.I turned to see the mystery intruder was just August.
"Shit you scared me August. What are you doing here?" I asked, trying to slow down my racing heartbeat.
"This is my house. Where you going all dressed up?" He asked, wrapping his arms around my body from behind.
"Out to dinner, to celebrate me graduating."
"With who?"
"A friend." I responded. Technically it wasn't a lie. Trey is a friend and were going out to dinner. I picked up my vibrating phone to see it was a text from him, telling me that he's outside.
"Me and you both know damn well you don't got no friends. It better not be that nigga from earlier." August called out as I walked out of the room.
"Blah, blah,blah. I'll be back later, don't wait up!" I shouted, shutting the door behind me.
Downstairs I was greeted with Treys award winning smile.
"Hey beautiful." He greeted, engulfing me in his grip. The feel of being in his muscular arms felt so different compared to being in Augusts scrawny ones.
"Hey." I whispered against his chest. After our hellos he opened the the car door for me before proceeding to the restaurant. Once seated we made pointless conversation as we awaited our food.
"Rose for the lady?" A young man, carrying a basket full of roses, asked.
"Thanks." I spoke, taking the rose in his hands. "You didn't have to do that or pay for my dinner, I could've paid for it myself."
"It's a mans job to pay for his lady's dinner."
"I'm not you lady though. Trey you know I got a dude."
"And you know I'll do you better. If ol boy really meant that much you you wouldn't be on this date with me."
"You told me this wasn't a date."
"I lied.You mind as well stop messin with dude. You can't say your not feeling me."
"I am feeling you." I admitted. "But I have someone at home waiting on me."
"So if I kiss you, right now, are you gonna protest?" He questioned, inching closer. My mind tried so hard to walk away but my body was in control at the moment.