I'd been staying at my moms house with the boys for a few days now, because I didn't want to have to deal with Jonathan.
He'd been calling me constantly, and refused to stop bombarding my phone with text messages apologising. It was the same old cycle just on a different day. The messages started off threatening at first, him claiming I kidnapped his children and him threatening to hunt me down. Then he admitted to cheating, something I already suspected. But he wanted me to respond, he wanted a reaction out of me that I would never give him. Now we were back at the apologising stage. I knew sooner or later he would show up looking for me in person, and the first place he would really look is at my mother's house. I never picked up or responded to any of his messages.
My mom knew something was wrong, but I didn't know how to bring up the whole situation to my mom without her declaring war. My mom was bouncing Kane, whilst I rocked Kaleb in his baby bouncer on the kitchen counter. Logan was wreaking havoc going through my mom's cupboards banging pots, but secretly I knew my mom loved clearing up after him.
"So... What's been going on with you then?"
"It's been tiring running around after the boys. I'm looking for a daycare centre for Logan for when I go back to work. I know it's like another what, nine months away, but there's no harm in looking now right?The twins are a handful, but I've been coping-"
"Let me rephrase my question... Why are you basically moving back in here? I mean, I love having you guys around and all that, but...I asked how were you, and you went on this tangent about your kids. I know you love your babies, but I love mine too. So tell me, honestly, what's going on with you?" My mom, not one to beat around the bush.
I almost had a panic attack on my moms kitchen stool. I'd been waiting for her to ask me why I'd brought five suitcases over to her house, and now I was petrified to answer. She deserved an explanation, one I was too scared to give.
"Me and Jonathan... We've split up... We're like, not together anymore."
"Oh my God, since when!?"
"Since a few days ago." My throat felt like it was closing up on me as I tried to fight the tears and pretend that I was okay.
"Why? What the hell happened?"
"He- he hit me."
My mom was silent, the only noise you could hear was Kane's gargling, everything else was silent. I expected her to completely lose her mind as her and Dani were very similar in character and how they responded to situations. I honestly just wanted to cry. I'd been holding it all in because I didn't want to cry in front of my children, I felt like it would be a sign of weakness. Yes, Jonathan hit me. But, other women out there had it worse than me. At least I was able to pack up my kids and my belongings and leave. I'd overcome this. I would eventually overcome this. That's why I hadn't broke down yet. That's what I'd been telling myself.
"I knew it." My mom stated and my tears threatened to make a cameo. My throat was tightening up in pain.
"You did?"
"I knew you was, or better yet, he was hiding something as serious as that."
I didn't respond.
"So what do you plan to do now? He'll come looking for you, no? He'll want to see his kids. Will you get a divorce? I mean I tried to tell you he was no good. You've just had the twins, how are you going to cope financially on your maternity pay? I mean-"
"Mom! Seriously, please, let me think!" I shouted at her, panicking.
"I don't know the answer to any of those questions yet. I can't answer anything, because I haven't thought about it yet, okay?! I'm stressed enough as it is. I'm not producing enough milk to breastfeed the twins. Just please give me a fucking break!" I cried. And finally, the dam had been broken, and the tears began to fall freely.
Innocently, my mom, ever the pragmatist, wanted to deal with this head on.
But this was my life, my kids' life that would be affected I couldn't make abrupt decisions based off my emotions. Surprisingly my mum didn't chastise me for swearing, especially in front of my kids.
"Can you watch the kids please, I'm going for a drive to clear my head."
I turned and grabbed my keys off the counter, but before I could leave the house, my mom called me back.
"Sophie, baby I'm so sorry. You don't deserve this. But I promise, me and your dad are here for you. We'll support you through anything. So whatever you need, all you have to do is ask."
I nodded, and closed the door behind me.
It was dark out, I didn't know where I was going to drive to but I just knew I needed space to think.
As I approached my car, I just knew something was amiss. As I neared it, goosebumps appeared on my arms and the chill that ran down my spine gave way to a crippling fear inside me.
Little black crystals were glistening on the pavement and in the road. My tires had been sliced and diced and looked like deflated balloons. My side mirrors? Gone. All my windows shattered, the evidence on the pavement and on the seats in the car. I walked around surveying the damage in shock. When I reached the rear of the car, that's where the Mona Lisa of this really ended. On my black SUV, spray painted on the back window, in bright red was a statement that left no confusion about who did this to my car.
I'd been crying before, but I was in so much shock, standing on the side of the road that I was motionless, lifeless, at this point. Was I shocked that Jonathan had did this? No, the signs were there. His abusive ways, his apologies, followed by the lies are what got him this far.
After about ten minutes, I walked back to my moms house.
"Honey, is that you?" My mom called from the kitchen.
"I need you to get Logan out of the pantry, I think he's eaten all your candy in there and Sophia will kill m-"
By this point I'd made it to the kitchen, I walked in solemnly.
"Oh it's you, Soph, back already? What's wrong with you, you look like you've seen a ghost? Everything ok-"
"Call the police mom."
"Call the who- wait, what? Why?"
"Just call them." I said as I went to get Logan from the pantry.
"What's happened? Are you going to tell me what's going on?" My mom called bouncing Kane on her hip.
I sat at the counter I'd been at less than thirty minutes ago, and I stood Logan on the countertop as I emptied his pockets of candy.
"Jonathan smashed up my car."
Her eyes widened.
"No!"
"Smashed all my windows out and slit all my tires."
"Are you sure it was him?!"
"Mom, I just told you this man hits me. Yes, I'm sure. He also spray painted something on the back of the car, that's how I know."
"What was it?"
Just then somebody picked up.
"911, what's your emergency?" The call respondent said.
"Uhh, hello. Hi, I'd like to report my daughter's ex-husband, he smashed up her car."
"Can I take an address?"
My mom quickly fired off her address.
"Is he still there now?"
"No, but he's very dangerous, very violent and obviously unstable."
"Are you currently in harms way? Do you need me to send an ambulance?"
"What? No. Just get here so you can go and arrest him. Send the police."
"Okay, we will send some officers down to come and check it out, to take a report."
"Okay, thank you. Bye."
My mom took a deep breath.
"I need to see it."
I passed her the keys.
Within five minutes she was back.
"I've called John, he's the lawyer in our family, he'll know what to do."
"You did what? Why would you call John? Why would you bother him?" I asked agitated.
"Bother him?! Have you seen your car? This is the type of shit I see on the news, then the guy ends up killing the ex-wife and the kids. Not on my watch. Your dad is on his way home too."
"But you didn't ask me. What if I didn't want him to know?"
"Sophia, you have nothing to feel embarrassed about. My sole focus right now is to keep my daughter and my grandchildren safe. If that's not your focus here too, then you better take your ass back over there with him."
That shut me all the way up.
About an hour later John showed up.
"We're going to file a restraining order, with the support of the police report, the pictures I've taken of the damage and the message on the back window, I think the order will be granted."
"Thanks for this John. I know you're really busy so-"
"You know I'm never too busy for family, I'm here for you whenever, Sophia. I know this wasn't easy for you. But stay away from this guy, he's crazy. For the safety of you and those handsome little boys, get out now."
"I know, I am trying."
About fifteen minutes later, the cops arrived, they also took pictures and made a report with the promise to get back to me as they would file criminal charges.
My dad made sure it was Alcatraz at his house that night. He wanted to guard us like it was Fort Knox. He activated all his security gadgets and everything was on lockdown.
As I lay in my old bed that I shared with my boys, and Kane in the cot, I thought back to the emotional rollercoaster I'd been through today. Since the day Jonathan had infiltrated my life, looking back on it, he had caused problems. Comparing our relationship to my parents', 'love' wasn't supposed to be this much aggro. His jealousy, his lies and aggression towards me whilst we were dating, we're all things I wasn't blind to. I acknowledged these signs clearly. I just thought there was hope, that because we were going to counselling it would quiet my reservations. All along, I knew something wasn't right.
Jonathan had shown aggressive behaviour towards me which escalated to hitting me. He'd cheated on me, and I hadn't even gotten the chance to find out the details. On top of that, he lied about a child from a previous relationship, claiming she was dead! The relationship was over. But sometimes it takes both party's agreeing to that statement to make it real...
I would never knock Jonathan on his skills as a father. Because when he was present and sober, he prioritised our kids, he interacted with them...
I texted John to ask if he knew a private investigator that could do a background check on Jonathan, and not limit it to the state or country we lived in, like the first time he did this.
"Til' death do us part."