Dorcas Meadowes
Remus,
I'm writing you because its important you hear what happened coherently and quickly before Sirius can tell you some messed up version himself, or you hear it some other way. Some things have been happening here... and I ask you to hear out the whole story before you judge.
Sirius has realized he needs help. That's the good news.,
The bad is that he had to fall pretty far to realize it.
There's this bloke here in town, Sirius has probably talked of him - Ace Dante. He's twenty-something and rides motorbikes and wears leather jackets and all that. You know, a punk rock type. And Sirius was infatuated with his motorbike last year. It's the one we rode to Hogsmeade to find you last summer. Well, Ace offered to sell him that bike and Sirius gave him a good deal of money for it - loads more than he should have - and Ace said he'd help him fix it up so Sirius's been going over there during the day and working on the bike all week. Well yesterday apparently Ace gave him a beer and something Sirius says he called Sunshine. Sirius slept with Ace.
But he wasn't in his right mind when he did it, Remus.
I came home last night and found him in a right state. He was paranoid and terrified of stupid things and soaked in rain and clearly not sober. Clearly not himself.
He asked for you the entire night. Over and over 'til he fell asleep. In the bath tub, might I add.
This morning he came to my room and he said he needs help. He told me his mum's been writing him letters, he's shown them to me, and... Remus, they're awful. He told me about the dementor you said he's told you of, that Achlys. She talks, did you know that? She tells him terrible, awful things.
But he's finally getting help.
I wanted you to know the whole story.
I hope you can forgive him.
He needs his Moony.
Prongs.
Sirius sat on the exam table in a private room in St. Mungo's. A witch with purple robes with a glittering silver mediwitch badge on the shoulder was looking him over carefully. She ran her hand over the scars on his back and shoulders that had been caused by fights with Remus on full moon nights and looked concerned. "What are these from?" she asked.
"A dog," Sirius answered.
The mediwitch frowned and continued on examining. She found the scars on Sirius's arms and looked up at him. "These aren't a dog, though," she said.
Sirius looked down.
The mediwitch sighed and she wrote something down on a clipboard, which she left on the counter. She stared at Sirius a few moments, then she said, "Let's get to know each other better, shall we?"
Sirius looked up. "Get to know each other?"
"Yes," the mediwitch smiled. She pointed to silver stitching on her shoulder that read D. Meadowes, MW. "My names is Dorcas Coriander Meadowes. I'm a registered mediwitch. I'm twenty-two. My favorite colour is silver. I have a cat named Felix, like the cartoon, and he likes oranges. I don't know why he likes oranges, but we share one every morning for breakfast." She smiled. "Your turn."
Sirius stared at her. "What sort of name is Dorcas?"
Her smile didn't waver, "It's Greek. It means Gazelle. Opa!"
Sirius couldn't help but think Dork was a good name for this person. "Alright." He leaned back, bracing himself with his fists on the table, trying to look cool. "I'm Sirius Orion Black. I'm sixteen. Red's my favorite colour. Like Gryffindor red, not some shitty cherry red. I'm... I'm punk rock. I like music. I'm a dog person." He smirked at this last one.
"Do you have a dog at home?" Dorcas Meadowes asked, smiling.
"No." He paused. Then, more to see her reaction than anything else, he said, "I don't have a home for that matter."
"I'm sorry to hear that," Dorcas frowned, "Why don't you have a home? Where do you live?"
"I live with my mate James for now."
"Does James have a dog?"
Sirius smirked, "Now and then he does. Snuffles."
Dorcas wrote this down.
She smiled at Sirius, then, "Do you have any brothers or sisters, Sirius?"
"One. A brother. He's fourteen. Regulus."
"Where does Regulus live?"
"With my darling, dear mother."
Dorcas wrote this down as well.
Sirius craned his neck, "What are you writing about me?" he asked. "Can I see?"
Dorcas handed him the clipboard. "Just notes so I won't forget what you told me," she explained. The notes were fairly straight forward. His name, his age. She'd scribbled, Likes Gryffindor red - proud of Gryffindor? - Dog person. Music. "Punk Rock". Lives with James. Regulus, brother. Mother a sore spot.
He handed it back. "She's more than a sore spot."
"What else is she? Just so I can keep my notes accurate."
Sirius sighed, "She's a horrid bitch is what she is." Dorcas wrote the word bitch on the clipboard with it laying flat so Sirius could see exactly what she was writing. "You should underline that," Sirius said. So Dorcas did. "Maybe add some stars so you really remember that bit. Walburga Black is a Bitch. Go on, star it, highlight it, do whatever you can to make it stand out really good." Dorcas circled it and drew stars around it and drew her wand and set to making the stars flash with bright neon colours.
She looked up at Sirius. "How's that?"
"That'll do."
"Do you have a girlfriend?" she asked, looking up.
Sirius said, "Look, darling, I'm flattered, but you're just not my type."
Dorcas smirked, then said, "My heart's broken. Sirius, I meant at school! Do you have a girlfriend at school?"
"I have loads of girl friends. There's Evans and Marlene McKinnon and Emmaline Vance and even though she's a bitchface there's Annalee McKinnon and McKenna and Carly Shaw, although she's a bit annoying hitting on me sometimes, but I'd still hex somebody if they were being mean at her. And there's Meg Johnson, she's cool. I snogged her once, but we're only friends. See, I'm gay... so."
"Oh, I see," Dorcas said, "That's an important part." She wrote gay at the top by his name. "Sorry. I didn't know."
Sirius said, "I feel like your gaydar needs adjusting."
Dorcas smiled, "Probably. I'll work on it." She paused. "Do you have a boyfriend?"
Sirius staed at her for a long moment. "No."
"I find that surprising, you're very good looking."
"I know."
Dorcas laughed, "And modest."
Sirius grinned, "C'mon. Look at me." His eyes twinkled. "Of courseI know I smoke all the bitches."
Dorcas said, "Have you had a boyfriend before?"
"Remus, Remus Lupin."
Dorcas wrote the name down. Sirius swallowed and looked away from her clipboard. Seeing the letters all swoopy and loopy like that made his heart ache. He stared at his toes. He was wearing a pair of trainers - one of James's pairs - they were a little too big. His boots were still at Ace's house. Along with his shirt and his leather jacket. And his motorbike. He frowned at the shoes.
"Did it end poorly with Remus Lupin, Sirius?" she asked, "Is that why you're frowning?"
"I'm frowning at these shoes. I borrowed them from James."
"Oh. I see." Dorcas leaned to look at the shoes. "I have a pair like that at home but they're pink."
"James magics his to be Gryffindor colours. He's Quidditch captain."
Dorcas smiled, "Do you have a crush on James, Sirius?"
He laughed. He laughed so hard he choked. "Merlin's third nipple -- NO." He shook his head, "Absolutely not. James is disgusting. He's my best mate and sort of my brother. He's the best fucking person in the world. But I would never date James Potter." He paused, then, "I started a club about it. P.A.H.W.F.A.H.W.W.N.D.J.P. Me, Lily, Alice, Professor Minnie, and Remus Lupin are in it. I guess Frank can be too. I should send him a badge. His hair's a bit questionable but --"
"So you're still friends with Remus Lupin?" Dorcas asked, interrupting Sirius at his rambling.
"Of course I am," Sirius replied. "I love him." He stopped short and covered his mouth. He stared at Dorcas as though he'd just confessed something terrible. "I shouldn't say that."
"Why?"
"We're broke up."
"You can still love someone after you break up. I still love my first boyfriend," Dorcas smiled sadly.
"You do?" Sirius asked, he looked intrigued. "Who was it? Why'd you break up?"
Dorcas smiled, "You're nosy."
"We're getting to know each other."
"Alright. He was a boy in my year at school, we broke up after graduating because he and his twin brother went into the auror program and I went to study medicine and our schedules no longer aligned. We keep in touch."
Sirius asked, "Is it one of the Prewett brothers?" He leaned forward, "They're teachers at Hogwarts now, you know. Gideon and Fabian."
Dorcas smiled. "I heard."
"Bloody hell!! Is it Gideon or Fabian? Wait let me guess." He paused. "It's Fabian, isn't it?"
"Gideon, actually," Dorcas replied. "But we're just friends now."
Sirius leaned back again, having sat up in his excitement. He sighed, "Everybody's just friends these days. I'm just friends with Remus Lupin, too. But I don't want to be his friend... I want to kiss his neck. I love him."
"And why did you break up?"
"I did a stupid thing."
"What stupid thing?"
Sirius sighed, "I can't tell you."
"Why not?"
"I just can't."
She pursed her lips. "Sirius, if this is going to work out - me helping you, you'll need to trust me enough to tell me everything."
"I can't tell you everything," he replied.
Dorcas put her clipboard down. "I can't tell anybody anything about what you tell me, you know. I'm bound by an oath. My mouth literally cannot repeat your secrets, except in very, very rare exceptions - like you're planning to hurt yourself or somebody else. Otherwise, anything you say here, I'm bound to keep a secret."
He stared at her. "Really?"
"Yes."
"That's pretty bad ass."
"Yeah."
"I still can't tell you."
"Why?"
"I don't wanna yet."
"Yet?" Dorcas asked, "Maybe in the future?"
Sirius shrugged. "Maybe."
Dorcas nodded and picked up her clipboard. "Okay. Let's talk about something else then. What do you want to talk about? Anything in the world."
Sirius thought for a moment, then -- "So your cat eats oranges?"
"Every day," Dorcas nodded.
"Cats are weird as fuck," Sirius murmured.