Alright! Thank you everyone for the votes and the comments! You guys are awesome, and I love talking with you!
Special thanks to nefertrain for reading this for me, and telling me to stop being so critical with myself, and just publish it :P
I hope you'll enjoy it, as usual let me know! Criticism and suggestions are always welcomed!
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Meeting young fans was always cute, they took a few pictures and signed her shirt before saying goodbye and making their way to the grocery store. They now had been here for a good 15 minutes, their basket already containing most of what they needed.
"Okay, we have the boxes, some snack for when we'll be back on the bus, The Lion King DVD, what else do we need?"
"I don't know. I think we're good. Do we really need to wait to be on the bus to open the goldfish crackers?"
"Yes, Camila, for the third time! ...I wouldn't try asking again if I were you."
Camila lowered her head. This was stupid, why couldn't they just grab another box and open it now! She loved those crackers, they had always been her favorites for as long as she could remember.
"Baby wipes! That's what I forgot last time!"
"I don't need those..."
"Camila."
She huffed, but followed without a word, keeping close to Lauren. She didn't know why she was feeling so cranky, she just wanted to be back at the hotel.
Now in the aisle, her eyes wandered around. The pacifier caught her attention. There were so many pretty ones. Instinctively her thumb went up to her mouth, and she started nibbling on its tip.
"Camila? You good, baby?"
Camila turned back around, only now realizing what she was doing. She hurriedly wiped her thumb on her jeans and nodded.
Lauren could see Camila slipping, she had seen her do it before, the fact that they were in public was just making it a bit harder. It was a bit of a surprise, most time it had happened was while Camila was in between sleep and awake. Well maybe not, Camila's behavior was very similar to the one she had had when they were at the mall... Could it be, that this whole time, Camila had just kept on slipping into littlespace? Quickly putting a pack of baby wipes in the basket, she grabbed Camila's hand and lead her to the checkout.
"Come on, let's go back, okay?"
The first thing Camila noticed at the checkout was the display of sour pacifier pops. Her thumb went back up again. When she had first arrived in the US, she was obsessed with ring pops, they looked like pacifiers, and were really cheap, so her mom could buy her some pretty often. The shape wasn't right, but she still thought it was soothing to suckle on them, and she loved how she could just walk around with one, even in the street. But those! Those, here, had the right shape and look.
"Do you want a candy, Camzy?"
She did, she really did. It was a bit distressing how much. She nodded, not looking away from them.
"What flavor?"
Out of words once again, Camila just pointed at the red one.
"Alright! How about you hold onto my sweater until we're done here, and I'll get one for you?"
Camila did as she was told, staying close to Lauren. Honestly, she wanted to hide her face against Lauren's back, she didn't want to be here anymore. She knew she had to be good to get the paci, though, so she stayed quiet and held onto the hem of the back of Lauren's sweater like she was told, letting her mind wander away from the never ending checkout line.
Lauren felt a bit bad. She had hoped to induce Camila's first "official" little time in better conditions. She didn't think it would happen for days, maybe even weeks, they had just talked about it 2 hours ago! The worst part was she had set it up without meaning to. They'd been talking about it all day, after all, and then there'd been the sale on DVDs at the entrance where she had found The Lion King, which of course was Camila's favorite Disney of all times, then the goldfish crackers, which again had triggered something, and finally the baby aisle and pacifiers displays. She was still surprised, she knew that Camila definitely had it in her, but to see her slip like that after just a few days was still surprising. Well, a few days... Lauren had always been rather maternal toward her, she had been taking it to a new level, but they weren't exactly starting from nothing. Honestly, with how frazzled Camila's mind had been this past year, she shouldn't have been surprised that it would be so prompt to just let go the second it was offered a safe place. Waiting for their turn, she ordered an uber, the faster they were back, the better.
It all went pretty fast, and soon enough they were getting in the car. The driver had a divider installed, which was just perfect right now. Lauren buckled her up, and took the candy out of the bag.
"Do you want the candy, baby?"
That got Camila to pull the tip of her thumb away from her teeth. Lauren quickly opened the package, and held the pacifier to Camila's mouth, their eyes meeting as Camila opened her mouth and started suckling on it. The moment felt intense, and filled with meaning. Lauren put her finger through the hoop of the pacifier part, and gently stroked her cheek. It was a bit big for her mouth, but that would do for now. Camila looked soothed, and was nuzzling closer to her hand, enjoying her touch.
"You've been really good, baby. I'm proud of you."
She blushed at that, happy that Lauren was pleased with her. Lauren then pulled back her hand, gently kissing the cheek she had been petting. Camila missed it right away, but let her head fall on Lauren's shoulder and closed her eyes, focusing solely on the feeling of the candy in her mouth and Lauren's perfume. It was amazing how she could suddenly just disconnect from the rest of the world. Too bad they didn't have Nala with them.
When she opened her eyes again, they were back at the hotel.
"Come on, let's go, Camzi!"
Camila was hesitant to come out for a second. Did she have to hide the paci? 'cause she really wanted to keep it in her mouth, but what if people saw? She felt at war with herself, like she was being pulled in two different directions. When Lauren finally reach for her hand, she let her, and decided to just follow her. If it wasn't okay, Lauren would probably say something.
Lauren was used to reading Camila, and she could see that she was struggling. She didn't want her to get out of the headspace so soon, so she decided to take the lead. Still with her hand in hers, they climbed up the hotel steps and crossed the lobby, quickly making their way to the elevators.
"Lauren! Camila!"
For a second, Lauren thought it was a fan, but she knew that voice. Turning around she was met with the sight of a very hesitant Normani. Anger surged through her again, she was not over what had happened, deep down she was sure there was a reason to all of this, but now was not the time for her to hear it.
"Not now, Normani."
"Please, I'm... I'm so sorry! I-"
"Not now, and especially not here."
Lauren could feel eyes on them, the last thing they needed was to draw attention to them.
"Yes, you're right. Can we talk later then?"
Her voice was pleading, she knew she had messed up, but she wanted to explain and make amends. She had been waiting for them to come back for nearly an hour, now.
Lauren let out a long sigh.
"...How about I text you when we're ready?"
"Ok. Just... Just know that I don't think that of you? I never judged you about... that. It just came out wrong."
"I'll text you later."
"Ok..."
Lauren got into the elevator, pulling Camila with her. She knew she had been harsh, but she wasn't ready, and they were in the lobby, and Camila was in headspace-
"You shouldn't be so harsh with Mani."
Camila's voice had cut through her thought process. When she turned around, Camila was pulling back the cap on her candy, and putting it away in her purse. Lauren couldn't help but be a bit disappointed, clearly Camila was out of her headspace. And of course, it was Normani's fault! Again!
"Don't pull that face. Text Mani, let's just sort this out right now."
Now Lauren was the one feeling like whining, but before she could say anything, the elevator was stopping at their floor.
"I... I don't like when we fight. We have an interview tomorrow, and a concert the next day, we can't just stay mad at each other."
Clearly this was a source of great worry for her. Lauren couldn't have her stress about something like that. Camila got her there, damn she was whipped!
Lauren took her in her arms the second their door was closed.
"Okay, I'll text her, we'll get it over with."
"That's not... You are right to be angry, I am too, but-"
"I know what you mean, baby. We're a group, we can't let things like this fester. And I'm sure Mani has an explanation, I'm just...hurt."
"I know. I'm so sorry"
"Don't you dare apologize, baby! You didn't do anything wrong, you hear me?"
"...I should have told her about the bruises."
"She probably wouldn't have believed you... How do you feel, Camz?"
"...Like I've been dropped back in reality... Was that...? Is that what being in the headspace is like?"
"From what I gather, it seems it's a bit different from one person to the next, but yeah, that's what it looked like from where I stood."
"I think I've done it before, like get in the headspace."
"Yeah, and I'm really an idiot to not have noticed before how often you went into littlespace recently. I mean, two weeks ago you went to cry in your bunk when Dinah changed the channel because she didn't want to watch Adventure Time!"
"It was an episode with Marceline! And she put a horror movie instead!"
Lauren just smiled in her hair, holding her a bit closer. In the end, she had had to climb in with her in her bunk, and put the episode up on her phone to calm Camila down. The small girl had cuddled up close against her, sniffling for another 10 minutes.
"Do you want to take care of this right now, or do you want a little moment to just relax?"
"I think I'd rather get it done right now... Then maybe after we can try to have a "Little moment" to relax?"
"Your puns are out of control today, baby, but sure. That sounds like a good plan."
When Normani entered the room 5 minutes later, the girls were sitting close to each other on the couch.
"Sit down, Normani. Just let get this over with."
Lauren sounded tired. And hurt. Normani could see in her eyes. She felt so bad. She just had no filter sometimes, and she had been genuinely concerned, but it had all come out wrong.
"I want to apologize to the both of you. I..."
She had spent the whole morning thinking of a speech to explain everything, but now faced with them she didn't feel like it would be enough.
"God... Lauren, I wasn't thinking when I said those things, and Camila I'm so sorry for grabbing you like that and not even letting you explain. It's just... It happened before. No to me! But it happened to one of my friends. She always had those huge bruises, but she always played it off as being clumsy or saying that she bruised easily. It went on for years... One day I saw her father raise his hand on her. She made me promise that night to never talk about it. Like the idiot I was, I promised. I went back to my life, pretending to believe her when she was telling me that she was okay. 2 weeks later, he put her in the hospital. He pushed her down the stairs while drunk, and forgot about her until next morning. She was in a coma for 2 weeks, and then the social services took her away. I never even saw her again. I'm not... I'm not trying to justify myself, it was wrong, I was wrong, I should have never said those things! But for a second it took me back there... and I had to do something! I panicked, and said things I don't even think, and acted like a maniac. I'm so sorry, guys."
Well, that was one thing neither had expected to hear. Camila felt like crying, and ran into Normani's arms once she was done to comfort her friend. Lauren's anger cloud had dissipated. She even felt bad believing that Mani, of all people, could think that of her. She had projected her insecurities on her, and it wasn't fair. She was glad Camila had wanted to clear up the situation right away.
"I'm really sorry for you, Mani. And you're all forgiven, if anything I should be grateful to know that you wouldn't stay idle if things went wrong for any of us."
Lauren joined the hug. Normani had tears of relief running down her face, and Lauren being the mother hen she was, softly dried them and cooed. Camila felt jealous. It was stupid, she knew it, but it was hard seeing Lauren act like that with someone else. Dragging her eyes away from her hand still on Normani's cheek, she noticed the amused smirk on Lauren's face.
"Come on guys, let's enjoy the rest of our afternoon! How about we go to the pool like we planned, and put this all behind us?"
Both girls nodded.
"Let me relieve you of that."
Lauren then grabbed Camila who was still holding on to Normani, and pulled her on her shoulder.
"Lauren!! Put me down!"
"Nope, no time to waste!"
Normani giggled at the scene, they were so cute together! She was glad they had accepted to let her explain, and that they had forgiven her. Lauren tended to be good at holding grudges, so she was sure she had Camila to thank for that.
"I'll take the bathroom!"
"The swimsuit is still on Camila's suitcase!"
"Laur-eeeen!"
Lauren was playfully spinning around with Camila still in her arms. Once Normani was out of sight, she pulled her back normally in her arms.
"Put me down!"
"Nope! Wanna know why?"
"...Why?"
Camila was already blushing under Lauren's knowing smile.
"Cause I know a little baby monkey that was really jealous just a second ago..."
"I wasn't!"
"Are you lying to me?"
"...It wasn't like that."
"Oh really? Cause it looked like you weren't too happy to see me taking care of someone else."
Camila looked up at Lauren, nervously nibbling on her lower lip.
"...Is that bad?"
"No baby! I just want you to know that I'm all yours, you don't have to feel jealous or threatened."
"I know! It's just... I'm not really used to having to share you."
"It's okay, baby. But you know it'll happen sometimes, doesn't mean you're not my favorite anymore."
Rationally, Camila knew that, but a part of her was struggling with the concept: a very little, little part of her...She cuddled back in her arms, happy to hide there, and have Lauren comfort her, even if it was for silly reasons.
"How about we put those swimsuits back on, huh? I'll help you."
Camila was puzzled for a second. What could she help her with?
"Let's put you on the bed."
Not really finding the strength to ask, and happy to let Lauren do whatever she wanted, she let her move around like a puppet. Once laying on the bed, Lauren took of her socks, and her pants, then had her bend her knees. Camila was distracted by Nala, so much that she nearly missed when Lauren popped open the first button of her bodysuit.
"Lauren! That's not how it works!"
"Seems to me that's it's a pretty effective technique."
"But it's hard to snap them back!"
"I'll snap them back myself, then. Are you uncomfortable, baby? Do you want to use your colors?"
Camila shook her head after some reflection. She didn't mind. It felt good even, made her want to have her candy back in her mouth, and cuddle with Nala. Just thinking about it, she was back at nibbling on her thumb.
"Oh, is Camzi slipping back?"
Camila just hid her face with Nala at the teasing tone.
"What a cute baby, I'll finish quickly."
Lauren was enjoying herself to say the least! Those bodysuit were godsends, it worked the same way than a baby onesie, and clearly, Camila could feel it. She quickly discarded her of her clothes, none of them really bothered by it with how many times Lauren had seen Camila's body those past few days! It was different though, this time Lauren's gaze on her body was possessive, it was all hers now.
Camila wasn't too happy about putting back on her wet swimsuit, but Lauren made quick work of it, and helped her put on a dress.
"You haven't changed yet, Lauren??"
"Oh! You're done, Mani! No, I'm good, I have mine underneath already! I'll just grab us some towels!"
They made their way downstairs to the indoor pool, Lauren leading Camila by the hand. The pool was pretty much empty apart from a few old people sitting in the Jacuzzi. Normani went in the water for a bit, to do some lengths to exhaust the last of her nervous energy. After that, she was glad to just go lay down on the sunbed to relax. Her plan was to read some of her magazines, but her eyes just kept catching sight of Lauren and Camila. Those two had something going on, they just had to. They hadn't stopped touching each other! Even now, Camila's giggles could be heard echoing through the whole pool as Lauren was swimming with her on her back.
"Okay! No, stop! That's scary!"
That made Normani smile, Camila was so cute. She had a youthfulness about her that just pulled people in. After one last look, she concentrated back on her article about Beyoncé's pregnancy.
"What do you want to do then?"
"I don't know."
"Do you want to get out?"
"No! Not yet!"
"Alright, a bit more then."
Lauren was whipped. So, so whipped, but Camila was so pretty in the water. It wasn't just her look, really, she was just so in her element, moving around like a mermaid.
"Can we go back where I can touch the bottom?"
"Sure! Can I touch the bottom?"
"LAUREN!"
"Just checking for future reference."
"Not in the pool!"
"Then out of the pool?"
"You're obsessed."
"Yes."
Camila just pushed Lauren's head underwater in exasperation. Once underwater, Lauren started chasing her like a shark.
"No!! Ah! Lauren stop!!"
She was running around like an idiot, tripping here and there, and losing her breath because she was laughing so much. Finally, Lauren managed to corner her, and got back to her feet, blocking any possible escape route with her arms.
"I got you little girl!"
"No, please!"
"No to what?"
Camila was nervously laughing.
"I don't know! But no, please!"
"No cuddles, then?"
"You're gonna cuddle me, and then do something mean, right?"
"I mean, it would have to be some top shelf cuddles for me not to."
Camila thus wrapped her arms around her neck, and her legs around her hips. Nuzzling close to her.
"Such good cuddles."
"So don't be mean."
"I didn't say they were top shelf."
Camila pulled back her head a bit to be face to face with Lauren.
"What would make them top shelf then?"
"I don't know, you tell me."
The two were staring at the other's lips. Camila finally took the plunge and started kissing her. The kiss was slow and sensual. Wanting more, Camila parted her lips, not able to hold back a moan when she felt Lauren's tongue slowly caress hers. As if it would hide them from the world, they dipped deeper in the water, so that only their faces were not submerged, and further into the corner. Camila had never felt anything like that, the rush of feelings she felt everytime they touched was like nothing she had ever experienced. She was addicted. The kiss didn't escalate more, they just enjoyed their new intimacy, both taking in the moment. When Lauren broke off the kiss, Camila instinctively followed her lips, but Lauren only gave her one last peck.
"What's with us and making out in water?"
Camila started laughing, it wasn't that funny, it was just a happy laugh like she hadn't had in a long while. She felt so relaxed. She let her head fall back, Lauren's arms anchoring her. Eyes closed, she felt like after all those months, her burden was finally starting to lighten. She was going to be okay. When her eyes opened again, Lauren was gazing adoringly at her. It was Lauren that closed the gap to nuzzle her this time. Camila's heart didn't feel big enough for the three kisses she felt against her neck.
Not too far from their bubble, Normani couldn't even attempt to hide her glee. It was happening! And she had proof! Sure, filming your friends making out was probably not very ethical, but it had to be done. For the sake of love. It's not like she was going to show it to anyone. Well. Technically she owed it to Dinah, right? She didn't want to get a poly beat down! She'd see, for now she was just happy to watch those two heart-eyed fools.
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There you go! Hoped you liked the first peek at Camila in littlespace. I'm nervous so please let me know what you thought!! (I'm not asking for praise, guys, serve me some truth :P ! Tell it as it is!)
This week, I want you guys to tell me the funniest thing that happened to you recently, or like a joke, anything!
I need some good energy, I have a lot going on with school, and I just want to have a good laugh with all of you! So come and make my day, guys :P !
...A happy writer, is a writer that writes...Just saying that for your own sake, I don't want WaitWhat727 to go into withdrawals, she already yells at me all that time :P !