The sun is kinda beaming down on her from the window over the bed and touched her shoulder, but she ignored it until she felt someone clutching her tightly from the waist and to forget someone else's breathing on her shoulder.
And by the time she opened her eyes, she could feel the thumping of her heart. Finally opening her eyes she sees that he was holding her so close to himself. His face was hidden by her hair, but his breathing was sending chills. And the fact that disturbed her most was that last night she had the best sleep ever.
I was shocked with myself as well as with him also, his fingers were digging deep in my stomach or should I say bare stomach because my tshirt has slightly risen above. Half of his lower body was on top of me, his weight was pinning me down to the bed not letting me get up.
I heard a chuckling, I turned to look and I saw Mr.Adeel looking at our direction and giggling away. "Wait till I get up!!" I said only to get an annoying groan from him, pulling me more closer towards him. To say that I would be very uncomfortable with him beside him or in the position we are would be a White Lie!!
Yes it'll be a lie because for the first time I liked us being this close.
Did I just said Us????
I didn't wanted to disturb his sleep or want him to get up and move away from me. I know I was being selfish at this time but this is the truth, I want him to be near me. He's my husband and I can't deny this fact anymore.
Did I just said husband???
There's a pull towards him which I don't know is because of our marriage or my imagination!! Whatever it is I don't want to waste my time in thinking when I can see him peacefully.
Waking up next to him is like waking up from the best dream I've ever had only to discover it wasn't a dream at all. It's real. He's real.
I kept very quiet, trying not to move,
So I can look at his every groove.
Rubbing his arm with my hand so lightly. But this felt so right, especially when he is holding me tight. If only I could bind the hands of time so that I could soak in the moment, hold on to it for as long as I can, breathing him in.
Outside the air is cold, but the warmth he left when he touched my heart, the wind can never blow away. His embrace will make the minutes dissolve faster than my cares, when he looks into my eyes.
Waking up next to him, is something I can’t do regularly so I ran my hand over his back, my fingertips gently grazing his skin, is something that I can’t get to do every day. Smelling his hair, before it’s washed, when it smells like him – not the shampoo that reminds me of him, but he himself.
But the temptation to stay and lose my self in the sweet morning bliss is more than I can bare. With my heart hammering in my chest, with all of my shyness jumping out of the window, with a blush on my cheeks, with a lots of courage I kiss his succulent cheeks and warm neck.
His scent makes me feel like a hungry lioness catching a whiff of some good antelope. The hairs on the back of my neck standing up straight. He smells like an expensive perfume which is not allowed to touch, but just to feel it.
But just then he moved, making me froze "Hareem stop it, let me sleep!!"
My heart stopped beating as I felled down from my own fantasy. Physically I didn't got any hurt, but my heart was ripped out from my chest and was lying on the floor.
A tear slipped down and felled on his cheeks. He opened his eyes slowly.
"Hanya, it's Hanya" I said. His eyes were now big enough as the realization hit him like getting wet in the winters of London. He quickly pulled himself away from me.
"Hanya...I'm Hanya" I stood up from the bed and started taking stepping backward.
"Hanya, wait. Look...--"
"Hanya...not Hareem" I said as more tears started slipping down.
"Hanya--" he quickly got up from the bed.
"Hanya, It's Hanya..." I kept on saying as I ran away from the room
I tried avoiding him as much as I can, because I knew the second I will come in front of him, I will break down and will loose all my self control. Soon it was time for us to leave, he had already took Adeel down. Slowly I descended down the stairs.
"Hani, do visit us again...don't you dare forget that we are going to the beach this Sunday." Zarine said hugging me, I blinked away the tears.
"Take care, Daughter. We are always near you. You don't need any invitation to come here" Dad said patting my head, a tear slipped down but I quickly wiped it away before anyone could see it. From the corner of my eyes I could see him standing right beside the sofa.
"Ohh..Hani, I'm going to miss you sooo much. Take care of yourself, Adeel and Zain. If they both trouble you, I'm just a call away. I'll come right away and will pull Zain's ears and also will make him do hundred times sit ups, extra punishment for him because Adeel is too small to be punished" Mom said making all of us laugh.
My laugh soon converted into sobbing as I hugged Mom tightly.
Emotions swirled as streaks of fire burned her cheeks. Her shoulders shook in each rake of emotion. Fire of shame and anger burned just under her skin and a deep emptiness filled her heart as the sentiments brewed over.
Breathing hitched as my knees grew weak and I slumped to the cold tiles on the floor.
***
"Hanya, please listen to me. Hanyaa" I ignored him as I ran towards my room.
"For God sake, Hanya, please listen to me for once" he pleaded. I turned to face him, he abruptly stopped on his track.
"Please leave me alone for sometime. Please" I requested.
"Hanya...please" but I was off to my room.
In Hanya's sobbing was the sound of a heart breaking. Hearts don't snap like brittle caramel or burst like an overfilled balloon. Hanya had always been so self-conscious when she cried, but now she just gave way to the enormity of her grief. She sobbed into her hands and the tears dripped between her fingers. Her breathing was ragged, gasping and the strength left her legs. She sank to her knees not caring about the the grit that dug into her knees. She was noisy, her skin was blotched.
It was more than crying, it was the kind of desolate sobbing that comes from a person drained of all hope. She sank to her knees. She cried until no more tears came, but still the emptiness and sorrow remained.
On the other side of the door he watched Hanya shake with grief, tears flowing unchecked, there was a part of him breaking too. If she wasn't the same then neither would he be. That's what happens when you love someone, right? Their happiness is a part of your own.
Only if they both knew that they love each other alot....
I avoided looking at the clock, fearing the slow passing of time that will only seem slower if I watch its progress. The night came whispering sweet nothings, luring heat from tired muscles until they could rest no more. It caressed their skin until it stole the pink blush and replaced it with blue.
Above was the beauty of the stars, the clear night allowing the meagre heat of the day to leave unhindered. The only notion of brightness came from a full moon, and even her light was a chilled silver beam. Midnight falls like a rich velvet blanket of black, swallowing up the day, draining the colours to grey and then to nothing at all.
I was lying on the bed and was looking at the sky through the window when there was a knock.
"Hanya" he said as he entered the room.
When she turned her face to him, she was a picture of grief, loss, devastation. It was the face of one who had suffered before and didn't know if she could do it again.
"You haven't eaten anything since morning" he said softly.
"I'm not hungry" I said
"Please, don't take out my anger on your health" he said.
"Can you please leave me alone"
"No, not anymore. I've given you enough of alone time. Not anymore" he said coming near me, I backed away.
"Where's Adeel?"
"He has slept"
"So should you"
"That goes to you also"
"Zain...--"
"Hanya, look I'm really sorry for today morning. Hareem use to always disturb me when I slept. Before I could understand what was happening, I blurted without thinking anything." He said sitting down on the edge of the bed.
"It's Okay. I forgave you a long time back"
"Then why are you upset with me"
Wish, I could tell you that I'm not upset with you, I'm upset with myself for the way you make me feel towards you.
"And you don't know how you make me feel" he again spoke my mind!!! I looked up and he was already staring at me. He caught my hand and squeezed it lightly.
"Zain, it's--"
"It's not what I think, I know that...but I'm happy with the way everything's going. I'm happy with the way our relationship is growing." He said holding my hand in his.
"Then why this many difficulties??"
"Because everything is not a piece of cake. After knowing what we both have been through, this is very good." He said rubbing my palms.
Why is he touching me?? Doesn't he know that his touch is setting me on fire....!!!
Hani, you sure have hit your head while lying down!!! My mind knocked some sense into my mind, I moved my hand quickly but didn't missed to noticed the hurt that flashed in his eyes.
Just then I heard Adeel's cry...I got up to leave but he caught my wrist. I turned and look at him.
"Samya is there with him" he said looking down.
"Zain, please" I said trying to free my hand.
"Please" he said and looked up.
Zain and I seemed to have a silent conversation as we stared into each others eyes. I finally look away, tears threatening to blur my vision, when a hand encircles mine. It was soft and warm, reassuring almost, as If the owner of that hand sensed my desperation.
"Hanya, I want you to promise me something," He whispers, his expression utterly serious.
"I know you didn't mean what happened back there, but you clearly want to talk about something. So, whatever it is, just come out and say it." I said all in one breath.
"It's nothing, It's just that Things were getting a little" he paused, silently staring into my hazel eyes.
"Don't worry we'll eventually work it out." I said squeezing his hand.
"You really mean that?" His lips were turned up into a tiny smile, as he held me tightly to his chest.
"Yes, I do." I whispered.
This moment just felt so right....
Zain's POV
I'd never seen her sit like that, so deflated. Her loose shoulders shook, her hands hanging low, making no attempt to conceal or even wipe away her own tears. I know it was my fault, It's not, that I'm not aware of the reality, it's just I was so caught up in the moment that those words just slipped out from my mouth.
I really wanted to apologize for unknowingly hurting her, but she was so broken that it was making me suffocated. She might not knew this but the way she looks after me and my family was pulling me towards her.
When I woke up and saw her this close to me, I couldn't believe my eyes. I liked to see her this close to me, I liked to feel her, breathe her, but she stepped away from me as if I was her worst nightmare.
Each and everything of her was breaking down my walls slowly.
"Hani, What happened dear?? Tell me...did Zain said something??" Mom asked her.
"Yes, Hanya, say...you don't have to be afraid of anyone. You're just like Zarine to us." Dad said sitting down beside her.
Red-hot tears ran down her face as she looked up at me.
"No, this has nothing to do with Zain. I was just missing my Mom, that's why I lost my control" she lied looking straight into my eyes.
"Ohh...dear, we are also your parents, this is your family too. Now never cry like that--" Mom kept on soothing her.
Her answer to Mom's question was just like rubbing salt into an open wounds.
Only if she knew...