THIS IS THE LONGEST CHAPTER I HAVE WRITTEN IN MY LIFE. I'm sorry for the slow update. I had to do a lot of changes, here and there for this chapter. Nothing felt right, but I finally got it. HAPPY READING, BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE. <3
"I've got another task for you, Lucille!" Mike says.
I am standing in front of his desk in his office with a stiff posture about this new task he has in mind. My hands already feels full from the fact that Ethan will be modeling for the internship I work at. That means he will be coming to the place I work at. He will be interacting with all the people I work with. More importantly, I will be seeing him more often than I wanted. I had no expectations left of anything. Anything could happen. I would have never thought that when I got this internship, that Ethan would step closer into my life again. Ironically, I thought with this internship, it would keep my mind busy and off from Ethan. It has now done the exact opposite of what I first hoped for.
Mike walks around his desk and hands me a folder.
"Another task?" I ask.
"You don't want it?"
"No, I mean, yes, I want it. I just didn't know I would get another one so soon. What is it?"
"Look inside."
I open the folder he hands me. Inside, laid one piece of paper with a list of several questions typed out in a small font and in numerical order. I pick the paper up from the folder.
"What are these questions for?"
I slowly scan through the list of questions.
"What do you think?"
I look up to him.
"An I interviewing someone?"
He nods.
"Ethan Collins can't simply just be the model for our cover page. We have to dedicate at least a couple pages to his life and baseball."
"Wait.. I can't, Mike."
He raises a brow.
"And why can't you?"
"I---"
If this was some other athlete, I would have been stoked. I would have been jumping up and down and hugging Mike side to side. This was an opportunity that was rare for a small intern like myself, but this wasn't just some random athlete. This was Ethan Collins. A guy who broke my heart. A heart that I tried so hard to fix and finally have put the final pieces together again, only for me to learn that there are still pieces missing with one look at him. Of course, I couldn't explain that. There was too much history to be explained, but not enough words.
"I just think there could be someone better at interviewing him than me," I say instead.
"And you think I don't know that as the co-editor of Sports Famous?"
"That's not what I meant. I meant, I'm just merely an intern. I should be pouring coffee and copying papers."
"And you may be merely an ex-intern if you don't do this. Lucille, I'm not asking you. I'm telling you. Our magazine company does not hire interns so they can learn to pour coffee and copy papers. They should know that already before they come. We want our interns to contribute something great while they're here and before they leave. We want each of our interns to make an impact, small or big. I'm giving you this chance to prove yourself. Not everyone gets this, but I'm giving it to you. Of course, you have a choice, but let me just ask you, are you going to leave proving Jan right or wrong, Lucille?"
I stand still with my weight pressing against my heels on the laminate floor. My hands grip tightly onto the paper. He's right. I came into this internship to learn and grow so that I could later do what I want. I'm not going to let an ex-boyfriend stop me from it. I had this huge opportunity that didn't come easily right in front of me. Ethan shouldn't matter. He is a part of the past. I should focus on the important things like keeping this internship. I shouldn't worry about Ethan being a part of it again because I'm happy with Axel. Nothing could happen.
I give a small smile to Mike.
"I won't leave until I prove I belong here."
Mike smiles back at me.
"Don't let me down, Lucille."
He walks out of the office and I'm left standing with complications running through my head.
"By the way, Mr. Collins is joining us in a bit to review his schedule for the photoshoot and interview. Be prepared," he says in a loud voice to me.
"Great," I reply. The response came out more with an unexpected, worried tone even after I mentally talked myself into agreeing with all those encouraging words.
I unclench the paper in my hand and read over some of the questions.
When did you start playing baseball?
Who was your role model growing up?
For the ladies, relationship status?
I sigh.
"Perfect. Everything I need to know about Ethan," I say sarcastically to myself.
I head over to file some papers in the work room after my tiny meeting with Mike. About half an hour in, however, I am called in to head over to the conference room where the meeting with Ethan is happening.
"Lucille, perfect timing," Mike says to me as I walk into the room. I have coffee in my hand for the staff as I, the intern, am expected to do. Mike turns his attention back to the man of the town as I do the same.
"Mr. Collins, this is our intern that you met a couple days ago. She will be interviewing you for your page in the magazine. Please allow some time in your busy schedule to let her interview you. If you have any questions or concerns, don't hesitate to get back to me on it."
"Don't think I will. I think it'll be my pleasure to let her interview me," he says with a smirk directed at me. I set the coffee in front of him, but I avoid eye contact. I step to the side and stand straight with the coffee platter clutched in my hand.
"Lucille?" Jan calls me.
I look up, "Yes!"
"The rest of this meeting needs to be talked in private. Please..."
"I'm sorry?"
She nods her head towards the door telling me to leave.
I nod my head showing that I understood and leave the room.
I set the platter down on the table when I get back to the break room. I hold onto the edge of the table and squeeze my eyes shut.
"Got any cream for me?"
I turn around on my heels to be met with Ethan's face only inches away from my own. I quickly move to the side to not be directly facing him. He turns in my direction, however.
"What are you doing?" I ask.
"I needed cream. Coffee cream, that is, unless you have some other form of cream in mind."
I roll my eyes and grab some coffee cream out of the cabinet drawers for him.
"You could've told someone to come get it for you. Clients never come to grab their own coffee cream."
I hand him the coffee cream. He reaches for cream, but wraps his hand over mine first.
"So I'm a client? You don't seem to treat me like a client, is that attitude allowed?"
I pull my hand away from his hand, turn my head, and am about to walk away, but he grabs onto my forearm. He walks closer to me and kneels down.
Surprised, I take a tiny step back. He just moves forward again towards my feet. He takes the laces of my black heels that I have on. He ties the laces together and tightens it one more time so it doesn't loosen again. He stands up and leans into my ears.
"Wouldn't want you to trip and fall for me again. Axel wouldn't like that, would he?" he whispers. He pulls away and the corners of his mouth turn up into a smug smile. I stare blankly at him. He reaches his hand towards my face, but I step back before he does so.
"I need to go..." I say. I walk out of the break room and head to any empty hall. I let out a deep sigh. I lean against the wall and tilt my head. I stare blankly at the ceiling. I can't let anything happen with Ethan. I can't.
I head back to meet with Mike when I have erased all of the feelings that tried to come out again.
"I want you to schedule an interview before the photoshoot. It is important. We need to get this issue out as soon as possible. You need to keep in pace with the rest of the schedule," Mike urges.
"I will be on it!"
"Good. I'll see you later then."
I head out to lunch afterwards. As soon as I step outside the building, I am met with a chilling breeze across my face sending shivers down my arms. I could feel the tiny hairs on my arms rise.
"Lucille!" a voice calls me.
I turn my head in the direction that the voice is coming from. I see Cecilia walk towards me with her cheery smile.
"It is you! What are you doing here?" she asks when she reaches me.
"Hi Cecilia. I intern here, and you?"
"I'm waiting for Ethan. This is the magazine...wait, Ethan's modeling for your magazine?"
Her mouth hangs open in surprise.
"Yeah, funny how that happened, right?" I say, nervously.
She just smiles back.
"This is pretty cool! Ethan's been really excited about it. Small world we live in. By the way, how is your ankle? Better, I hope."
"Yes, thank you. And the trip? I'm sorry, I must have ruined it for you with Ethan taking me home."
"It is okay...I still had a good time with our friends. He truly looked like a gentleman that day. Better yet, it confirmed the reason I'm so head over heels with him, but he just still can't seem to see it," she says with her head hung low. I reach out to the side of her arms and pat it. She looks back up at me.
"I'm sure he will soon. Be patient with a guy like Ethan, he takes time."
My lips form into a guilty smile. Her eyes gleam up.
"You're right. I've been waiting by his side. It won't hurt to wait a little longer, right?"
I nod.
"Oh, Ethan's out!"
She waves her hands to behind me. I turn around to see Ethan walking towards us.
"I actually have to go, but I'll see you around. Maybe we can hang out again with Axel?"
"That would be great."
I quickly walk in the opposite direction before Ethan reaches us. I look back at the two of them as I do so. Ethan's head is turned my way while Cecilia's is looking up at his. I quickly turn back around and continue walking.
"Luce!" I see a woman walking towards me. I suddenly realize it was my mother.
My eyes widen in surprise.
"Mom!"
I walk towards her.
"What are you doing here?" I ask.
"I came to visit you. I wanted to see the place that is giving you so much stress."
"I could have brought you another day."
"No, I wanted to come on my own and see you."
She squints her while looking behind me.
"Is that Ethan?"
I turn around and see Ethan and Cecilia walking towards me.
"No, mom. It's not. Why would it be?" I lie.
She moves closer to me and squints her eyes more to see.
"It is Ethan. Why is he here?"
"I don't know, mom. This is the first time I've seen him at the company," I lie.
"Lucille, don't lie to me."
"I'm not."
Another obvious lie.
"I thought you said he wouldn't even be an option for the magazine. You said you would make sure he wasn't an option. Why is he at the same building as your sports magazine?"
"I'm actually on lunch right now. Do you want to join me?"
I try to change the subject. She doesn't listen, however.
"Lucille, didn't I tell you that you should leave the past in the past? You shouldn't be working around him. How is it so coincidental that you two end up at the same exact place, at the same times?"
"I never contacted him, Mom, but it's just work anyways. There's nothing to worry about."
"Lucille, you need to get away from him."
"Why are you so against him anyways?" I shout without thinking.
"Are you seriously asking me that?" she scowls.
"I just want to know. He and I aren't even together anymore, but why are you so against me even being near him?"
The question felt more directed to myself, however. Why do I trying to avoid him if it means nothing to me now? Because I knew... I knew that being near him did mean something. It meant a lot. The fear of love made me want to avoid him. My heart wanted to be close, but my head told me not to.
I shake my head.
"No, I'm sorry, Mom. I shouldn't have said that. I'm not thinking straight right now. I just have a lot to deal with right now. I'm sorry. Can we just go, okay? I'll buy you lunch."
I pull her arms away from the building. She doesn't look pleased, but willingly follows.
The next morning Axel came to visit me before I headed to work.
The aroma from the coffee spreads throughout my tiny apartment. I lean against the sink counter with a cup of warm, chamomile tea in my hands. Axel has his back facing me as he pours coffee into his cup.
"Where's your mother?"
"She's meeting an acquaintance in New York for breakfast."
"I see... Cecilia told me you two saw each other the other day," he says.
"Oh yeah... I bumped into when I was heading out to my lunch break yesterday," I reply cautiously while I stare liquid in my cup.
Axel turns around to face me.
"You didn't tell me..."
"I must have forgotten..." I say quietly.
"She also told me Ethan is the new model at the magazine company..."
I lightly lift my head up.
"Yeah..."
"You also didn't tell me that."
"It must have also slipped my mind."
He raises his eyebrow.
"Something that big and it slipped your mind?"
"Yeah..."
"Lucille..."
He sets his coffee down on the counter and stands in front of me. He places his hands on my shoulders.
"I know you have a lot of work going on at your internship, but you can tell me things, okay? I want you to tell me."
I nod.
"I will. I'm sorry," I say.
Axel kisses my forehead and pulls me in for a hug. I lean my head against his chest with my hands still gripped onto the cup of tea between us. A huge guilt runs through my spine. I couldn't even hug him and it wasn't just because I had a hot cup of tea in my hand. Of course, the reason is like a cup of hot tea. If spilled, it would hurt him. He pulls away and kisses my forehead one more time before he goes back to grab his cup of coffee.
"So I guess you'll be seeing Ethan a lot at your internship then..."
I just look down.
"Yeah, I guess I will... "
"Be careful. I've heard things from Cecilia. He's a good guy now, but I don't want to lose you. Okay, Lucille?"
His words confuses me. I scrunch my forehead up at him.
"What do you mean?"
"Nothing. C'mon, I'll drop you off."
I'm still curious as to what he heard from Cecilia, but I get rid of the thought and head out with Axel.
I finally gained the courage to schedule an appointment to interview Ethan the very next day. And by gain the confidence, I definitely meant retrieving his number from the company and texting him. That way I didn't have to hear his voice or see his face before the interview. I could have asked Axel to ask Cecilia for me, but after yesterday morning, it didn't feel right. The way Axel said he heard things about Ethan, it just didn't sit right with me. What exactly did he hear? Was it about me? Did something happen? I didn't even tell Axel about the interview with Ethan today even though I promised him I would tell him everything. I especially didn't tell my mother. She'd go ballistic.
"Cafe? Romantic," is the first thing Ethan says when he sees me.
I look up to him walking towards me. He wore a plain shirt that tightened around his muscles with some blue jeans. He sits down in front of me with his everyday smirk.
"Are you sure this is just an interview?" he flirts.
I ignore his comment.
"So, I have a few questions that you have to answer and then we can both be on our way."
"Questions. I love them. Something that will finally get you to talk to me."
I don't listen to him. I set everything I need and start.
"Okay, question number one. Who/what got you get into baseball...?"
"I liked baseball because of my father... He forced the idea onto me and I loved it, but you would already know that."
I clear my throat. I type his answers into my laptop.
"Can you finish my answer for me?" he suddenly says.
I look up at him with a surprised face. I turn my attention back to my screen.
"How would I know your answer?" I say.
"Because I know you do."
I don't reply. I could hear him take a deep breath.
"Can I ask you one question?" Ethan asks.
I continue typing away.
"Do you still love me?" he asks.
His question catches me off guard. I pause my typing and stare at the keyboard. What would I say? I look at his face. His eyes narrow as he stares at me.
"I don't even know you, how could I love you?" I reply sternly and then I return back to the screen. I type again.
"But, you miss me?" he continues.
"Ethan!" I scowl.
I could see people's eyes directing towards me.
"Stop it," I grit through my teeth.
"I'm not the interviewer. I'm just talking as the face of the magazine."
"Then, why are you asking so many questions?"
He leans in closer with his palms planted on the table.
"Why are you being so stubborn? Just tell me what I did wrong so we can fix it."
I just stare at him. There's a desperate look in his eyes. Desperate search for an answer. An answer that I couldn't give because my heart was shattered. If I responded, everything I've done to piece and hold my heart together would break down to pieces once more.
"It's already been fixed."
I close my laptop and start packing up.
"You're not done interviewing me."
"Well, I guess we'll have to reschedule, maybe not with me..."
"There you go again. Running away from me. That's what you always do. You run."
I could hear the frustration in his voice. I am frustrated myself. I am naive to think that this interview could go so smoothly with just the two of us.
I pause for a second to respond, but then I catch myself. It is better to leave it as is. I continue walking out the door and away from him.
I head back into the office building the same day.
"Mike, please. I can't interview him anymore," I plead. I told myself that I shouldn't let Ethan have an effect on me, but it was easier said than done. If Ethan continues asking more questions like he did, I could fall apart again. I would go back into the depressed girl who's heart shattered for days and she couldn't stop crying. I'm sitting in Mike's office with a hope that he follows my plead despite my promise to prove Jan wrong.
"What is it, Lucille? Is he a jerk? Is he too hot for you, you can't ask a question without falling for him? Anyone in this office would die for your spot, but why can't you seem to do it right? You told me you could do it. You know, Lucille, I'm trying to protect you in this internship, but it seems you're proving me wrong and Jan right every time you make these requests. Is that what you want?"
"No, of course not."
"Then stop making such requests. I don't know what your problem is, but if you don't want to interview Mr. Collins then consider that the least of your problems. Instead, you'll have to worry about finding a new internship. Let me add, future, possibly. It's your choice, not mine's. Let me know what you decide."
He shrugs his shoulders and walks out of his office.
I need to get a hold of myself. I'm letting one guy put a toll on my every move. I needed to gain more courage to face Ethan without fear. He may have hurt me before, but it won't happen again. I tell Mike that I will face the interview head on again, and set out to meet Ethan one more time.
"I'd knew you'd come back. You never could resist me," Ethan says when he walks into the conference room. I called him up to meet me at the magazine office. I couldn't let Mike down. I decided to bite my tongue and finish the interview. This is a small thing that I was making more dreadful than it needs be. I felt it would be better to interview him in a work atmosphere, that way it would be more serious.
I roll my eyes as I flip through the questions on the paper.
"I'm here to do my job and so are you. Let's not make this more difficult than it needs to be."
"I'm not the one making it difficult."
"Well, you're right. Can we start?"
"Always."
He sits down to the right of me while I'm at the edge of the long, conference table made to fit about twenty people.
I clear my throat.
"Okay, from where we left off last time... what pushed you to join the MLB?" I ask.
"A girl."
I look up at him in surprise.
" A girl I met in high school when I saved her. I fell in love--"
"I"m not going to write that..." I say while he's talking.
"-- and she fell in love with me. The world tried to tear us apart, but I couldn't let that happen especially not after all I had to do for us to be together. She pushed me to work harder. She pushed me to succeed. She almost sacrificed our relationship so that I could be happy, but I sure as hell would never let her do that. I couldn't be happy without her," he continues with a slight chuckle.
"Stop it!" I shout
"Why should I? That's my answer. It's the truth."
I stand up and walk around the table. He meets me before I could walk around him.
"Let me know when you're done Ethan and I'll come back to finish the interview," I say irritably.
Standing in front of me, he says, "I didn't mention the name. How do you know it was you? I could've saved a lot of girls before you. Don't feel so special. Weren't you the one that didn't want to make it hard? Finish the interview, Lucille. Do your job and I'll do mine, right?"
My forehead puckers. I am taken aback at his cold response. His shift in tone and attitude has me lost for words. I scan his face. His face hardened. He looked upset. He's right. I'm being dramatic about a question. This is unprofessional. I sit down, clear my throat, and continue asking questions from the paper.
"Next question... what is your relationship status?" I mumble the question.
He leans back against his chair and stares intensely at me.
"Why don't you answer that one for me, Ms. James?"
"Why do you keep wanting me to answer a question meant for you?"
"I just want to know if you know the answer."
"Why would I know the answer?"
"Well, do you?"
"Fine, you want an answer by me. You, Ethan Collins, are taken... by a wonderful girl named Cecilia."
"Would that make you happy?"
No. I answer unconsciously.
"Yes."
"That's my answer, then. I'm taken...by Cecilia. If you want to write that, then write it. I guess we're done here."
He grabs his jacket and walks out. I stop typing and watch him walk away. I let out a big sigh and lay my head on the desk. Why is it so complicated to ask a few simple questions? It shouldn't have to be, but I did good.
You did good, Lucille. You did really good.
Friday
Ding.
I run to my cell phone, but my mother seems to have reached it before me. She looks at the screen. I look over her shoulder. Ethan's name pops up.
"Mom, what are you doing?" I ask. I try to pull the phone away from her hand, but she moves away from me before I can.
"Ethan?"
"Mom, please give me my phone back."
"Why won't you listen to me? I said to drop contact from him."
"Mom, it is just for my internship."
"But, he's calling you?"
"It's probably about the interview."
"Interview?"
"Yes..." I say timidly.
"Drop the internship. You can have any you want, but not this one especially with Ethan as a spokesperson there. If he won't leave, you will. That's my last warning."
My jaw drops in disbelief.
"Mom, you cannot just make me drop my internship."
She ignores me and hands my phone back before she walks out.
Taken aback by my mother's words, I head out to my internship before my mind goes into any more stress.
I see Ethan heading towards the main building as I do when I get there. I jog up to him to catch him. I pull his wrist to get him to face me.
"What the hell?" I scowl at him. I don't even greet him.
"Well, hello to you to beautiful," he responds, acting oblivious.
"You called this morning?"
"...and you didn't pick up."
"You cannot be calling me whenever you like especially not in the morning when my mom is around."
"Your mother knows me, what's wrong with her there?"
"Because she-she hates you."
"She hates me? Still haven't changed since high school has it?"
"Ethan. Please just stop this. Whatever you're trying to do. We're over. You and I."
"I called because I didn't like the interview. I want another. Am I not the client? Can't I make that simple request?"
"I know you weren't calling just to talk about the interview."
"Then what was I calling for?"
"I-I don't know, but you're a client who's not acting like one. Don't call me, Ethan. You can email me, go through my supervisor, just don't call me."
"Why?"
"Because we both need to move on. I cannot have you calling just because you want to. I have moved on so you should too."
"Move on from what? I'm the only one who doesn't know what to move on from. You left without a word if I might add," he exasperates out.
"If someone leaves, you should stop chasing them then..."
"Not if that person doesn't want to run away. Look me in the eyes and tell me the night we made love, you didn't want it. You didn't urge for it the last year that you left."
"You don't know what I want."
"Maybe you're right, but I know I die a little everyday because you're not mine..."
I stare silently at him.
He suddenly chuckles with a sad tone behind it.
"Now, that I think about it, I remember that one time when..."
"Don't."
"... I came to you after our high school baseball banquet and you let me love you..."
"How does our situation right now exactly remind you of that?"
"It didn't. I just wanted to remind you of it."
"Ethan, you have to stop this."
"Ethan!" a voice interrupts both of us.
We both turn over to see Cecilia walk our way. I step back away from him.
"Oh Lucille, you're here too," she says with a cheery smile.
Cecilia intertwines her hand with Ethan's. My eyes shift back and forth from the picture in front of me.
"Wow...you're finally holding hands," I say.
"Yeah, we're official now," Ethan says with a satisfied look towards me even with a small smirk.
"Ethan asked me out last night," Cecilia says.
She turns to Ethan and grins widely.
"Yeah, Lucille. Aren't you happy for us?" Ethan asks. His eyes still turned to me.
"Of course. I'm happy for you guys. Took you long enough to make it official. You guys always looked good together since I met you."
Cecilia nods her head.
"It's all thanks to you. You showed me that I just needed to be patient and Ethan will come around, and he did. Oh, maybe we can go on a real double date with you and Axel now that I can call Ethan my boyfriend," Cecilia suggests. I shift my eyes to Ethan and back to Cecilia. I plaster a forced smile on.
"That'd be fun," I reply, dully. "I have to head inside first, but I'll see you guys later."
I quickly head inside the building.
...
I'm walking in the hallway of the big building with my head down stuck in my own train of thoughts when I bump into a hard chest. I look up to see Ethan standing in front of me. I take a step back. I turn back around and walk in the opposite direction of where I was heading. Ethan catches me before I could walk away however. He grabs my wrist.
"Are you happy now I made it official with Cecilia?," Ethan says.
I pull my hand away from his hold. I glare at him.
"Of course I am. Why wouldn't I be? I asked you to, didn't I?"
"You don't look happy."
"What do I look then?"
"Jealous."
I stare at him, silently. Satisfaction shows in his face, but there is something else glowing in his eyes... hurt.
Jealous? I wanted him to be with Cecilia. I've been begging him to be with Cecilia so that he would move on from us.
"Nope. Its a look of irritation for having to deal with you," I reply.
We both just stare at each other.
"You're right, Lucille. I need to stop lingering in the past. I need to, but I'm not going to. I'll do whatever you want me to do, but I'm not stopping. I'm not moving on. I know you haven't either."
He walks away, leaving me to stand in the hallway.
I'm not jealous. I shouldn't be. I can't be.
I tell myself with clenched fists and scattered feelings.
Why am I doubting myself so much these days?
On the weekend, I try to make up the small fight that I had with my mother. I take her out to shop in New York. I mean, what's a trip to New York without a little shopping, right? We shop for awhile before my mother says she wants to go try on some clothes. I decided to head to coat aisle and look at the selection. I find a cute, burgundy trench coat in the sale rack of clothes. I decide to try it on. I walk over to a mirror placed against the wall. My hair is in the way, and so I comb through it and pull it up. As I do so, however, a pair of warm, rough hands wrap over mine small ones. Surprised, I look up to see Ethan. My eyes widen and I try to pull away, but he doesn't budge. He continues looking in the mirror in front of us. He combs his fingers into my hair and pulls my hair back into a ponytail. I stand extremely still with my hands dropped to my side. He pulls the black hair tie from my wrist and ties from my hair. His hands falls to my shoulders. Bring myself back to reality, I scoot away from him.
"What are you doing?" I say.
I look around nervously to see if my mother is around.
"I'm pretending I don't know you. I got together with Cecilia. I'm doing everything you want."
"That's not what I meant."
I look around again.
"What are you so scared of, Luce?!"
"Didn't I say not to call me that?"
"Why? Does Axel call you that now? It can't be me anymore?"
"If you know that then, why do you keep doing it?"
"But, you don't like it, do you?"
"What?"
He shakes his head.
"I know you don't want to be near me. It hurts me that I don't know why. If I knew, this would be easier, but I don't. I know you won't tell me, but can I at least ask for one favor?"
I stare at him with a confused expression.
"You don't have to want to be with me, but stop running away from me. Just let me be close to you. That is all I ask."
He plants both of his hands on either side of me against the wall. He leans in close and plants his lips on mine. It stays there for a bit before he moves his lips against mine. I should push him away. That's what my head is shouting at me, but I don't. I clench my fists and move my lips in motion with his. He pulls away and takes a step back.
With sad smile clouding his face and his forehead against mine, he says, "In case, doing what you want won't get you back to me again."
He plants one more kiss on my lips before he completely pulls away.
He walks off and I just watch him with my back leaned up against the mirror on the wall.
What have I just done?
...
Monday rolled in and I went to my internship as usual. This was my last week of break. After this, I would start my busy college student schedule again. Right when I walk into the main building, there is a tense atmosphere from everyone in the room. All their stares didn't make it any better. I look over to Mike who stops talking and looks over to me.
"Good morning, Mike," I say.
"Lucille, we need to talk in my office."
I follow him into his office.
"What is it, Mike?"
"I was going to call you to head over to the photoshoot..."
"But?"
"Your mother came."
"My mother?"
"I didn't even know you lived with your mother."
"I don't...she's here to visit me."
He takes a breath and says, "Well, she wants us to drop you from this internship. This is my first time ever experiencing this. A mother who isn't happy that their daughter has a internship at a high level magazine."
"I'm sorry, Mike. I don't know how this happened. I will talk to my mother again. I need this internship. No, I want this internship. Let me clear this up my mother first."
"That's what I thought. Work out whatever you need to with your mother. If not, I consider you are willing to quit. Jan, may be happy to hear this."
I call my mother's cell phone. It takes a few rings before she finally picks up, but she does.
"Where are you, mom?"
"At the Tea Grind."
"I'm coming to see you. Stay there."
I rush over to where my mother is.
I burst out as soon as I see her.
"Mom, please tell me you didn't go to my internship!" I shout frustrated.
"Calm down, Lucille. People are staring. Let's go outside," my mother says. She pulls my arm toward the door. We reach outside the cafe and go to an empty lot.
"Mom! What were you thinking?! You can't just go to my work, internship, whatever it is and boot me out!"
"Lucille. I'm doing what is best for you."
"What is that?! By forcing me out of my internship? This is important to me, mom! I've been telling you how stressed I've been about it and working so hard to keep it. And here you go, doing what ever you want."
"If Ethan won't drop from this magazine, you will. I'm not having you work with him."
"By taking away something I'm so proud of being a part of, but am struggling so hard to keep right now?"
"Because you won't stop seeing him!"
"He and I are OVER. How many times do I have to repeat myself?"
"But, it is like you purposely do everything you can to see him. Do you want me to tell Axel about him? Is that the only way to make you stop?"
"Tell him what? That I'm working? You have no right to my work place and make me quit!"
"Oh please, Lucille. I saw you two together on Saturday when we went shopping."
I stand speechless. I can't even say anything, but, "What?"
"Lucille, you seem to still be the dumb daughter from high school. Do you really think that he's going to save you because he's some famous baseball star? He beat you to the curb already, why do you keep going back?"
Her words hurt me and that is the breaking point for me. All I ever wanted was for her to understand and support me. Nothing is ever right, if it was against her.
"You know what? I really thought you came here because you missed me and wanted to support me, but you're the one who hasn't seem to let go of anything. This entire visit all you have done is mention how happy you are that Ethan and I are over. How I shouldn't be around Ethan ever again. Well, congratulations, mom. He hurt me and you got what you wanted, but it still isn't enough, is it? Maybe what you saw is because of you! What do you want from me?!"
"I want you to be happy. That is what I want. That is why I am here supporting you, Lucille! That is why I want you to stay away from him. He will only hurt you, not me!"
"And I've been trying my best to stay away from him. You think I would have known they would put him in this magazine? This internship made me happy, mom! I'm accomplishing something for myself and what I love, but what about you? What about the past year? You couldn't call once to show your support?"
"Lucille, don't bring that up. You know, I was busy with work."
I shake my head.
"I want you to go, mom. Go back to California. Go wherever you want."
"You don't mean that, Lucille."
"I wish I didn't, but I see it clearly now. You just have to be right. I don't know how you turned out like this, but I'm sorry you did. If it was me who made you like this, I'm sorry. Ethan and I have been over, but you just want to control every little inch of my life so please, if you can't let me choose my own life and support me, just go. There's no need for you to be here."
"Because you make the wrong decisions! Every time you meet Ethan, he puts this image of dreams and fantasy in your head that makes you oblivious to the world!"
"You only had a few more days. You couldn't leave your sanity and be a good mother! This internship isn't about Ethan or you. This is about my future career. This is everything to me. I need a mother, not another boss. If you can't be the mother I so dearly yearn for, I don't want to see you again."
"I am your mother. You can't just say that..."
"I was fine a year without you, mother. A couple more, I can do. This is how we left last time, anyways."
She lets out an aggravated breath, giving me one last look of disappointment, and walks away.
I compose myself and head over to the photoshoot location. As soon as I step in, loud music blares all over the building. My head seems to throb in response. Everyone's rushing around to get ready for the shoot. I avoid eye contact and head into my destination that I didn't even know I was going. All I could think about is the horrible argument I just had with my mother. There's nothing else running through my mind. My words were harsh, but it felt good to finally let my feelings be heard. Was this the last straw? Did I officially lose my mother? My eyes don't break away from the ground in fear that I may break down.
"Lucille, give this to Collins. He's in his dressing room," one of the staff members hand me a shirt. I head to Ethan's dressing room. I knock on the door.
"Come in."
"Um, I have your shirt for you."
He's shirtless with a pair of baseball uniform bottoms. A time like this, I might have been fazed and would have not brought in the shirt to Ethan, but I felt empty. I felt nothing.
"Thanks," he says with a side smile.
He takes the shirt from my hands.
His brows knit together as he stares at me. My face must look pale and expresionaless right now.
I don't say anything. I turn around and head for the door.
"Hey..."
He pulls my elbow.
"What's wrong?" he asks.
I look at him and with one glance, a tear drop falls. His eyes brow knit together and he wipes the one tear that dropped. His touch felt like the turning knob to the rest of my tears.
"I made her leave..." I let out.
Without asking why or what, he pulls me into his chest as he wraps his arms around me.
"Shh, it's okay. I'm here..."
Forgetting that Ethan hurt me and hugging him should be one of the last things I do, I silently let out a sob with my head leaned up against his warm chest. My breathing becomes heavy and my eyes swollen. I finally pull away when I realize what I was doing. He holds onto the sides of my arms and wipes my tears. Suddenly, someone knocks on the door. I look at Ethan with an endearing gaze and quickly wipe my tears and fix my posture. He wipes the tears from my eyes one more time.
"Stay here," Ethan says before he goes to open the door.
"Bianca...what are you doing here?" I hear Ethan say in a surprised tone after he opens the door. In shock by the name I just heard, I turn my eyes to the direction of the doorway. There, stood a woman with black hair. Even though I only saw half her face, I recognize her as soon as I see her.
She smiles and looks at me like this was the first time we were meeting.
"Got company?" I hear her say. I look over to Ethan and back to her. I push past Ethan and Bianca and run away from the photoshoot as fast as I could.
Could this week start off any worse?