For the remainder of the week, when I wasn't in classes, I was stuck alone, in my dorm room, silently crying and staring at the texts Michael and I had exchanged before all of this sudden drama. Thursday came, the day of the winter dance. I was especially depressed, thinking of Michael and thinking of the time when the fire alarm went off, where Michael grabbed me by my waist and tried to seduce me into going to the dance with him.
I sniffled, then thought of Roy. I wiped the tears from my eyes and pushed the hair out of my face, taking a deep breath. I didn't want to see Roy again for a while. Not in the hall, not anywhere. Whatever happened yesterday happened because of the sweet words he spoke and adrenaline from spying with Jeremy. I was brave, and got cocky. And the talking part? I don't even want to think about that.
I'm still mute. I always will be. Sometimes there are mistakes to be made, and that was one of them.
I hadn't seen Miranda since I broke Michael's heart. Thinking about it made me cry harder. Miranda and Michael must be together again. I knew they must be fooling around at that moment.
Don't kid yourself. Michael's just depressed. He's probably not even thinking of Miranda.
Are you trying to cheer me up?
Yes.
It's not working.
I got up to use the bathroom, barely able to hold it in any longer. I hadn't got up since classes ended. As I sat down on the toilet, there was a knock at my door. I froze. Who could it be?
"Are you in there, Lu?" Roy. I was silent for a long time, fiddling with my thumbs and looking down at the bathroom floor. Waiting for him to give up and leave. "Lu, let me in, please, I want to talk about last night. Before you ran away from me."
I frowned. After Michael had stormed off in a rage, I sprinted down the hall, slamming my door behind me. Roy knocked again. I sat silent as I could, before I finally heard a sigh.
"Okay. I guess I'll talk to you later." He said sadly, and I heard his footsteps. Then after a few seconds when I was finishing and flushing the toilet, I heard another knock at my door. I lazily walked out of the bathroom and to the dorm door, peeping cautiously out of the hole. It was... James.
What is he doing here? I honestly have no comment here. I'm gonna go make some popcorn and watch the show.
I chuckled at myself and wiped my eyes, opening the door. James was looking concerned, then as he looked to me, he looked angry. He walked in rather heavily and slammed the door behind him, looking immediately apologetic as I cringed away from the sound. My head was pounding. Then he looked at me, examined me up and down, and snorted, covering his nose and mouth with a hand to stifle himself.
What is so goddamn funny? I thought to myself, hurt.
"Oh God, Luna... Have you even glanced at a mirror today?" He said with a smile. I knew he was just teasing, and smiled, looking down and wiping my eyes like a sleepy child.
"So what went on last night anyway?" He asked rather bluntly. I looked down at the ground and shook my head, like I didn't know what he was talking about.
"Don't play dumb -- I saw Roy not two minutes ago wanting to talk about 'what happened last night'. You found him after he stormed off?"
I was quiet and stared at a stain on the carpet, where I had clumsily spilled a bit of grape soda in my drunken stupor of depression. I was hoping that time would stop and everything would collapse within each other like a black hole, so I didn't have to think about life itself anymore. James stared at me intently, begging for an answer I was unwilling to give. Suddenly, my emotions collided with one another into a mess of tears and sobbing.
I pressed my face against him and hugged him hard, stifling my cries with his shoulder. He seemed shocked at first, then awkwardly hugged me back, placing a soft hand on my head and patting it.
"It's... It's okay... Um..." He searched for the words to say. He looked around for a moment, then grabbed a notebook nearby and a pen, telling me to write down everything. I nodded and sat on the bed for a long minute, writing down virtually everything.
James and I lied together on the bed, my head on his chest and him stroking my hair gently. I sniffled and gasped for air as I stared blankly at the ceiling. James breathed calmly and slowly, closing his eyes stroking my head slower. I shuddered, chills sending themselves down my spine as his finger brushed my ear.
This was the spot where Michael and I had once lied together, in the same position. My face felt hot and I could feel tears welling up in my eyes, ready to flow like a steady waterfall of pain and memories.
James looked down at me as I looked up at him. He smiled friendly at me for a brief second, before his mouth was covered with mine. I sprang up, locking lips with him, making him gasp and jump back, pulling away and standing up. We stared at each other, both equally confused.
"W-what was that??" He asked frantically. Gazing at him, I shrugged. I thought he wanted me to. He sighed and looked down at the ground, shaking his head slowly and chuckling. I furrowed my brow, making a little crease between my eyebrows. I didn't understand what was so funny.
"Sorry," He said politely, "There's just... something that you don't know about me." He paused for a moment, checking to make sure I was listening to him. "I thought you would have picked up on it, like everyone else..." He sighed again, biting his lip.
I sat up straight. What was it?
"I'm... gay."
I stared up at James in shock. His soft skin. His perfectly combed hair. His awesome clothes. His polite manner. How could I not tell before! I blushed. I had officially fallen for a gay guy -- just like the chick flicks. Wait, is there a chick flick about that? Probably.
My hand flew to my mouth. I felt so ashamed of myself. What was I becoming? Kissing random guys I barely knew? I shuddered at the thought. Before I could think about what I was doing, I was practically tackling him, hugging him tightly, hoping he would forgive me. He laughed playfully and fell back onto the bed.
"It's okay, Luna, it's no big deal." He said reassuringly, smiling up at me as I sat on his stomach, staring down at his gorgeous face. Why did all the gay guys have to be so goddamn attractive?
Friday came around. James and I walked side by side down the hall to our next class, books in hand, smiling at people as we walked by. People stared at me -- the weird girl, smiling for once.
"I really have to study this weekend for the French test on Monday." He sighed. "It's the only class I have less then an A in." He bragged, laughing loudly when I turned and punched him in the arm for being so confident. He knew I had a C in French, soon to be a D.
We turned the corner and walked into French class, where Mrs. Bootilette greeted us in French.
"Bonjour, class! Comment etes-vous!"
"Bonjour, Mrs. Bootilette. Nous sommes tres bien." We all mumbled sleepily. James and I took a seat next to each other.
It was a long first period, and at lunch time I was certain things would loosen up and I would be in a better mood. All this French babble gets frustrating after a while. I would never use the language anyway.
After shoving a dozen books into my locker, I headed off hastily to the cafeteria. It was bigger than my old school's, and about the size of my old school's gymnasium. Don't even get me started about Bridgeton's gym.
People chatted, grabbing trays and sitting down to converse with their friends. I headed up to the line, grabbing a plastic tray and picking my lunch carefully. A turkey wrap, an orange, and a small sandwich, with a bottle of grape soda.
James stood up from a table of guys, smiling brightly at me and frantically waving me over. Smiling shyly at the boys, I walked over and sat down at an open seat in the middle of them. I recognized Ryan and Jeremy as two of the guys, but the other two, I did not know. Ryan smiled crookedly at me. Jeremy sat quiet as a mouse, staring at me.
"Nice lunch." Ryan said sarcastically, laughing at my awkwardly chosen lunch. He had a cheeseburger, fries, and a Coke. Ditto, Ryan.
"So, Luna, this is Henry," He said, pointing at a brown-haired boy with brwon eyes. He nodded at me, then directed his attention back to his lunch. "And this is Lucas." He pointed to the blonde boy with blue eyes next to Henry. He glanced up at me and smiled.
James stared at Lucas admiringly. My eyes widened. The thought of James being gay had yet to stick completely into my brain, but seeing him go crazy over another boy was not one of the things I had thought about. Lucas glanced up at James, meeting his eyes and grinning. After a few moments, I smiled at how cute they looked together. Lucas must be gay too, I decided.
I bit into my turkey wrap, and glanced quickly around the table. It was too quiet. I stopped chewing as I stared back at Jeremy, who was burning a hole into me with his eyes. Does he have a problem all of a sudden? I know, right?
"So. How did it go with Roy last night, Luna?" Jeremy asked, rather loudly. Everyone at the table stopped eating and stared at Jeremy, then turned and stared at me. I shrunk down against James. James had already heard this story and sighed.
"Are you trying to embarrass the hell out of her?" James snapped in my defense. I took a deep breath. Here comes more drama. Jeremy glared at James.
"What's it to you? I just wanted to know, since her and Roy seemed to be getting pretty friendly in the hallway."
He saw that?! Oh no...
I held my breath, squeezing James' wrist tightly as he acted as my voice.
"Why are you so angry about it? It's none of your business."
"Wait, what's going on?" Ryan asked cautiously, glancing from me to James to Jeremy.
"I just want to know the truth." Jeremy said innocently, turning back to me. "So, are you and Roy together now or what?"
Everyone stared at me, confused.
"Together?" Ryan asked, trying to put things together in his head, but failing. He shook his head. "You saw Roy last night?"
Dude's a little slow, don't you think?
I nodded slowly to Ryan, hoping he would figure it out silently and everyone would let it go. Ryan stared at me in thought. I could almost see the wheels in his head turning. His eyes widened.
"What did you two do?" He asked quickly. I almost slapped myself. Of course he would try to push the answer out of me. Which side was he on?
"Ryan, it doesn't really matter. Just let it go." James said, trying to end the whole discussion. "Let's just enjoy our lunch." He took a bite of his salad.
"Did you kiss?" Ryan whispered, desperate for answers. Ding ding ding!
I still don't understand why. You had a perfectly good hunk of meat loving on you before.
I thought I got rid of you.
Never.
I stared down at my turkey wrap. Ryan smiled, realizing he had figured it out. Everything was quiet. Jeremy stared at me, obviously disappointed. I frowned and finished my food just as the bell rang and everyone piled out of the cafeteria and into the hallway.