A WHISPER OF THE HEART
___________________________________________
It's not about the ending... It's about their story.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
Heath felt it.
That the scariest thing in his life… was beyond the door that he was standing in front of.
Nanginginig ang kamay niyang inayos ang tie na pakiramdam niya sumisikip sa leeg niya. His sweaty hands that held Venice’s big bouquet of roses felt cold and numb.
“Here let me.” Mahinang sabi ng mama ni Venice na nakatayo sa tabi niya. Inayos nito ang suot niyang tie at marahang tinapik iyon ng matapos. Pinadaan ng Mama ni Venice ang mga namamasang mata nito sa kabu-an ni Heath para makasigurong maayos ang kanyang pananamit.
Heath never prepared for something as grand as today but he woke up this morning as planned, groomed himself well and wore the suit and tie that Venice wanted him to wear on this day.
With the great help of all his loved ones and with the ones who loved his family and wife they supported him and offered themselves as crutches so he could walk again.
And finally, today, he was able to walk towards the place where Venice long waited for him.
Finally… for the first time… after a very long time he’ll be able to lay his eyes on Venice again.
Step by step the distance he tried to create far from her finally shortened today.
If he could only move his free hand forward and turn the handle…
“Papa, Mama esta esperando.”
(Papa, Mama is waiting.)
Heath felt how Hezekiah’s warm small hand tug his two fingers forward. Heath despite what he was feeling smiled at his son who was wearing something that matched his and gave him a small nod.
Heath felt the cold brass handle of the door turn and twist, in synced with its opening Heath’s foot moved forward the unknown. The people around him at that time, the priest, his mom, Venice’s mom, the doctors and nurses and the rest of his family stayed still where they stood.
His heart felt like it would stop just like the first time he laid his eyes on her with each small step… unhurried but sure steps he took.
The air that wafted from the open window in the room felt damp and cold on his skin that Heath felt it was going to rain that day. The smell maybe pungent but for him it wasn’t the case, today he felt more grateful of this, because this pungent smell was a small and simple reminder that she was still there… waiting.
His eyes immediately searched for Venice who he immediately spotted quietly lying on the middle of the room, surrounded by lines hooked to different machines.
Her bed inclined enough to make it look like she was sitting there waiting for the, waiting for her son… and for him.
Hezekiah stormed in and immediately latched on the side of Venice’s bed. He tiptoed in an attempt to reach Venice. His pudgy hands caressed lightly Venice’s thin dark hand while he talked to her sleeping mother.
“Mama, Hezekiah llego, Papa llego.” (Andito na si Hezekiah, Andito na si Papa)
“I’m here.” He managed a small whisper as he laid on the foot of her bed the flowers that he held on tight for the last hour.
Naging hudyat sa mga kasama nila noon na pwede na silang pumasok ng makarating si Heath sa tabi ni Hezekiah. Still he held himself in place and endured the pain he felt while the priest administered the last rights of the dying to Venice.
“John 11:25-26 Jesus said to her, "I am the resurrection and the life. He who believes in me will live, even though he dies; and whoever lives and believes in me will never die. Do you believe this?” The priest prayed over for Venice and finally for him and Hezekiah. He gave and delivered a perfect prayer for Venice that brought tears to the people around them.
When the last rights were finished the doctors handed him out the papers that needed to be signed. They were legal documents stating that he was removing Venice today from her life support.
Heath felt his heart being shredded to pieces with each stroke of the hand he made, and on every piece of paper that needed signing.
Their relatives their goodbyes and one by one they left the room to give Heath, Hezekiah and Venice’s mom the remaining minutes left before pulling out the plug on her.
“Mauuna ka pa kay Mama.” Umiiyak at halos humahagulgol na sabi ng mama ni Venice habang hinahaplos nito ang kabuuan ng anak sa huling pagkakataon. “As much as I would like you to stay-… but you have to go now. You’ve been a perfect daughter anak.... thank you… I love you anak….”
Binalingan ng umiiyak na mama ni Venice si Hezekiah na tahimik na nagmamasid. Sa murang edad nito siguro rumirehistro lang na iniiyakan ng matatanda ang natutulog niyang Mama.
“Apo… Halik na kay Mama. Ba-bye na kay Mama. B-bukas ulit.” Sabi ng mama ni Venice habang sumisinghot. Binuhat nito si Hezekiah para ilapit sa muhka ni Venice. There were no tubes in the way so Hezekiah held on to her mother’s small sunken face and kissed her in his own way the goodnight kisses they shared together.
“Te amo!” sigaw nito sa tenga ni Venice. “Te amo MAMA!”
Naiyak na naman ang nagpipigil ng luha na mama ni Venice. Naawa ito sa apo nitong hawak na sobra ang pagmamahal sa anak niya. The poor boy who would never experience a mother’s love. Iginiya ng mama ni Venice si Hezekiah palabas dahil ayaw nitong makita ang pagtanggal ng mga tubo, baka daw hindi kayanin ng puso nito. No sane parent would want to witness their child suffering. They also agreed that Hezekiah didn’t need witness Venice’s last moments.
Marahang tango lang ang ginawa ni Heath ng maiwan kasama ang mga mangagamot at nurse. Isa-isa nilang pinindot ang mga makina para patayin. Their inept hands moved fast and careful while removing all the tubes that surrounded Venice.
“Beep… Beee—“
Then there was no sound at all. Heath stood there as he listened to each movement and every sound that died off in the room. It was quiet and yet it seemed deafening to him. He saw them remove everything… her urine bag… her intravenous lines… her Parenteral line used for her feeding… ah… and the tube on sliced through her neck…
One by one sloughing off the little time Venice had left.
The nurses tucked in Venice, positioned her strategically so he could sit facing her just as he requested earlier. He was instructed that it was not advisable to do so since Venice’s muscle might harden in that position so he had to say his goodbye before the time’s up.
30 minutes… 1 hour?
He wanted to ask how much time it would take to say goodbye to someone forever… How much one need to be able to say those painful words of separation? He wanted to know if there was anyone out there who knows how to make goodbyes easy…
Heath carefully sat in front of her, silently staring at Venice who was unmoving… Her lashes permanently laid on her sunken and cheeks… Her face shadowed with the pain that she had endured over the years.. Every bone in her body outlined precisely and threatened to stick out of her skin marred by injections and procedures done to her...
She looked so tired.
Inabot ng kamay niya ang baso sa gilid ng kama na may lamang tubig at binasa ng kaunti ang tuyong bibig ni Venice na malamig at unti-unti nang nagiging kulay asul. His thumb flexing back and forth her dry lips gently so he could moisten it. Her complexion now he noticed was slowly darkening.
She must be feeling thirsty and cold, he thought until she slightly moved. Heath saw non-consecutive minute small rise in her chest caused by a non mistakable muscle spasm… or maybe a small tantrum from her because of Heath’s absence.
Pinatagal ni Heath ang paglapat ng hinalalaking humahalik sa bibig ni Venice.
This was the first contact he had with her for such a long time.
With arms suspended on air , the tears that were aloof to him for weeks came rushing down his face and on the side of his cheeks…
Sabi nila kapag masyado nang nasasaktan ang puso at hindi na nito kaya gumagana ang utak at inilalabas noon ang sakit sa pamamagitan ng mga luha…
Heath withdrew his hand only to clutch his chest because he chose to cry silently. No screaming, no moaning… just with shoulders heaving he silently poured out all the tears representing all pent up love and sorrow inside him … Heath cried and let out tears that became more painful with each second that passed by.
Because each second that passed meant a second less being with her.
Iminulat ni Heath ang matang hindi maampat ang luha upang tignan ang minamahal. Though it might make his eyes bleed Heath needed to look at her for the last time in this life.
Heath, though he didn’t know where to touch her without hurting her, reluctantly stoked her bald head as gently as he could, like a feather brushing on skin… Vise like gripping pain knocked the breath out of his chest in synced with every sensation his hand felt.
“Did you wait long?”
“Are you scared?”
“Are you in pain?”
Heath paused with every soft word said for her ears only. Heath heard the small rumble of thunder from a distance followed by pit-a-pats of rain on solid ground… Parang umiiyak din ang langit…
Pinagdaop ni Heath ang mga naninigas ng kamay ni Venice at hinalikan iyon ng buong pagmamahal bago niya iyon binitawan at ipinuwesto sa magkabilang gilid ni Venice. Inayos ni Heath si Venice upang ipahiga na ito ng tuluyan. Heath sat on the chair beside the bed as he reached out to pat Venices chest rhythmically, the same manner when children are put to sleep.
He wanted to personally put Venice to sleep.
“That’s right… close your eyes for now Venice and have sweet dreams…”
Heath leaned in forward close to her while he swallowed the lump on his throat so he could speak without choking to his tears. His face just right next to her… “Managinip ka ng maganda mahal ko… pumunta ka sa lugar na malayo dito kung saan hindi ka na masasaktan…”
“Sisiguraduhin ko na sa pagmulat mo ng mata mo andoon ako. Ikaw pa rin si Venice… at ako pa rin si Heath.
We’ll meet again just like before.
I’ll still be a jerk but you’ll love me and I’ll love you back twice more.
Mamahalin mo pa rin ang isang pakipot at indenial na gaya ko.
This time I’ll immediately ask you to marry me again. We’ll have Hezekiah again… and a lot more Hezekiahs…
We’ll live blissfully until our hair turns gray… until our dentures fall off… with every sunrise and sunset I’ll be there until my arm falls off from holding on to you…
We’ll share endless kisses forever…”
Heath paused for a moment. “…So until then wait for me.”
Heath bridged the small distance and pressed for a long kiss on her cheeks just like the way she taught him. His shaking lips spelled silently I LOVE YOU on her cheeks that he with butterfly kisses matched with little I love you’s.
“It-s o-kay…” Heath whispered near her ear while trying to wipe dry with the back of his hand his tears that fell to her cheeks. A muscle twitched in her eyes as though she was telling her she was also crying “…shhh… it’s okay. I’m going to be okay. Hezekiah and I will be okay.”
He lightly kissed her temple, her eyes, on the tip of nose and finally on the side of her lips… Heath breathed in deeply mustering all the strength he had left because what he was about to say encompasses the love he was willing to give her for the rest of his life and thereafter.
This is the love that he was willing to offer and able to endure for her. The kind of love that goes beyond life and even after death.
“You can go now Venice.”
---------------
Magaan ang paa at halos lumilipad na tinahak ni Heath ang sementadong daan ng sementeryong iyon patungo sa museleo ng yumaong asawa. Kahit medyo inaatake siya ng rayuma niya kaninang umaga hindi naging hadlang iyon sa paglalakad patungo kay Venice.
“Bilisan mo anak.” Excited na yaya niya kay Hezekiah na nasa likuran niya.
Heath looked at his son who was now taller than him.
Who would have imagined that someone as so cute and so small could grow like a giant that fast? Hezekiah’s strong arm held everything that he couldn’t carry. He carried things needed for the small occasion he was hosting. Anibersaryo kasi ng pagkamatay ni Venice noong araw na iyon.
Ang tanging hawak lang niya noon ay ang bulaklak na alay niya para kay Venice. Abot tenga na ang ngiti niya ng masilayan ang museleo ng asawa.
“Pa, be careful with your steps.” Hezekiah warned sternly when he saw that Heath was running while walking.
He didn’t need any lecturing from his grumpy son. Need he remind Hezekiah that for 20 years his feet have already memorized every pebble, grass and grub this cemetery had?
Because for the past 20 years.. Everyday… without fail he would visit Venice.
He would sit next to her and ask her how she was… and just as always he would count the days left before they’ll meet again.
Heath, for the years that followed, kept on asking how do good stories end. How did his story and Venices story ended? Tama ang sinabi ni Venice na hindi isang trahedya ang nangyari sa kanila.
Heath believes that somewhere if a book about him was written it would have an ending that a certain Venice Manuel loved him as much as he loved her.
So why can’t he call his and Venice’s story a happy ending?
Happily ever after meant accepting the reality called life… A reality that all people die… All our loved ones die… Some die young… Some grow old.
Our choices end love.
Memories of loving and being loved are determined by one’s decision to accept this reality…
A reality that makes us choose whether to bounded by an end called death or be astounded that death doesn’t end things… Because letting go doesn’t mean giving up. DEATH DOESN’T END LOVE.
We believe that somewhere in the unknown future we’ll be given a chance to be reunited with our loved ones… we’ll be given an opportunity to be with those people who gave meaning to our life.
We pray for this rare chance after life that no amount of sequel can surpass.
Hinihingal na hinarap niya ang puntod ng asawa.
Muli namasa ang mga mata ni Heath habang binabasa ang nakaukit na pangalan ni Venice… 20 years… 20 years nang pumanaw si Venice. Magkahalong lungkot at tuwa ang nararamdaman niya kaya hindi niya mapigilang maiyak. Naiiyak siya dahil ibig sabihin noon konti na lang makakapiling na niya ulit ang asawa.
Kahit nagsimula na siyang lumuha nakuha pa ding ngumiti ni Heath sa asawa.
He cleared his throat to greet his wife.
20 years… 20 long years and he’s still head over heels in love with the same woman… Confident, unchanging, unwavering and constant for the next years to follow… his heart only whispered her name.
“Venice.”
----------------------------------------------------------------the end.
A/N:
SALAMAT PO! Haha Teary eyed ako. ANO BA?! I’ve been receiving so much love coming from you guys!=))
MARAMING SALAMAT PO! MARAMING MARAMING SALAMAT PO!
Announcement:
AWOTH MINI SPIN OFF:
Excerpt:
HER POV
Kung may MACHETE - ang taong kahoy
Meron ding HEZEKIAH FORD, ang taong BATO.
HIS POV
China ang pangalan niya kahit ni katiting hindi naman ito intsik. Magpapakasal siya sa isang babaeng embalsamadora at nagma-may-ari ng isang punenarya, How does it sound? Sounds just perfect.
Hi guys. Kung sino man ang makabasa nito.=)
Well, I’ll be posting a MINI MINI SPIN OFF for A WHISPER OF THE HEART! This will revolve around Hezekiah. If you know who HEZEKIAH is.=)
This is my small happy farewell token for you guys!=)
I will be posting the spin off a day after AWOTH’s ending.=)
SEE YOU! THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!=))
HAPPY KATHNIEL DAY! =)))