We hear the truck's engine start then slowly fade away. Just four sleepers were able to take Titus from us. And that's nothing compared to how many are really out there. How many sleepers are hiding behind every corner? Searching, killing. And on top of it all, they have a part of us now. Titus has fought harder than any of us. He's been there for every single one of us at some point. And now he's gone. It's bitter safety for the rest of us.
Without Titus, the atmosphere doesn't feel the same. Kris usually had one hand around his shoulders, leading him, mentoring him. From the day it all started, when that cup was shot out of his hand, Titus was on the move. And I guess that's what he's doing now.
"He's not dead." Kennedy leans into my side. She rubs my arm to comfort me.
"He's gone," I tell her.
"He's gone, but he's not dead. Titus knows when to fight and when to fly. He's going to make it," she puts her hands on my face, "please have hope."
"I don't have hope anymore."
"Do you see Lindsey over there? She's alone, and it's by choice! She's sitting in that dark corner. She's sinking deeper and deeper into her own self-dread. That's the lack of hope... Have hope."
Without thinking, I say "Lindsey lost her parents."
Kennedy has every reason to slap me in the face, but she doesn't. She doesn't even change her facial expression. "I lost my parents, too."
"I'm sorry." I drop my head, "I didn't mean to..."
"It's okay... I lost everything I knew, and I still have hope. Can you?" Kennedy puts her hair into a ponytail and brushes a speck of dirt off her face, "I'm not giving up because I lost my parents. I'm going to keep moving because I lost my parents. They may not have always been there, but they would give anything in the world to keep me alive. They would be ashamed if I just gave up. I keep moving and keep going for them. They're gone, but I'm not. And neither are you. So have hope. Titus is not dead. He's just gone, for now. Have hope."
The transfiguration Kennedy just spoke into me bewilders me. It changes things. You would think that someone would be trapped in a pit of negativity when they watch their best friend get taken by the very people you're fighting. But something about this girl, the way she finds peace in the darkest moments, she brought me up.
I wish she could tell Lindsey those things. Lindsey is nothing but a wall at this point. Talking to her is like talking to a fencepost. This is a perfect example of what the sleeper zone can do to someone. You can let positivity bring you to where you need to be, or let negativity eat you alive. Tear you apart from the inside.
Kris slings the bags towards us. "Get ready. They're gone and we're about to be, too."
I grab a bag and take it to Lindsey. In her haunting silence, she raises from her dark corner and takes the bag from me. Letting the weight of the bag sway her dangling arm.
"We're leaving."
"I know." She lets her hair hide her face.
She walks past me and climbs down the ladder before anyone is able to say anything to her. She passes Owen, Mika, and Caspian without even raising her head. She avoids them like the paparazzi.
"Well..." Mika says as she spins the top on her water bottle.
"Can we get out of here? This place is evil. It's so sad that we came here with Titus and Sage and we're leaving without them," Owen announces.
"Leave for them," Kennedy tells him, enforcing what she preached to me. She puts her hand on the ladder, "gentlemen first."
The air outside feels ghostly. It's somewhat strange to be outside of the molding barn loft after we turned it into our temporary home. We're moving on. Leaving Sage behind. Titus behind. Not in neglect, but in a will to live. I wish we could leave something else behind...
The tension between Kris and Caspian resumes without a second to waste. Owen pulls the map from his back pocket and points past the house.
"Here we go. We're ready, right?"
"If that's what you call it," Lindsey remarks.
Mika opens her eyes wide and tightens the strap on her backpack. "Well, I'll lead the way and get things started. Here we go."
She's doing what she does best, giving a touch of humor when we're all ready to break apart.
But I'm not ready to break apart anymore. Thanks to Kennedy, I'm ready to keep moving. I feel like running to that border and getting out of this sleeper zone. Everyone seems to be geared up... except Lindsey. She's almost a zombie, but she has to keep moving. We have a long walk ahead of us.
__________
We've been meandering along the path for almost two days now. In and out of sections of woods, through fields. Even crossing an occasional road when we have to. We're doing everything we can to avoid where any population would be.
Our clothes are getting dirtier; our bags are getting lighter. The food and water is enough to last for now, but we will need to restock soon. Mika has been keeping an eye on it.
It's surprising that we've only crossed paths with two groups of sleepers. They were small enough for us to get by or hide without drawing any attention. Caspian always wanted to jump out guns blazing. Kris has led us as he always has. The two groups of sleepers were different. One seemed very alert and on the hunt. The other was immature. They marched around laughing and not ready for anything. That was the group Caspian wanted to jump. Kris knew there were too many variables.
It's weird not hearing Titus' voice of reason anymore, walking every step with us. Our group is down to seven.
"I hear water," Owen tells us as he opens the map. "It's a river."
"A river? Anyone bring their boat?" Mika laughs.
"I don't think we'll need one. I mean, it's a river but it's not huge. We should be able to swim across...maybe."
"You don't sound confident," Kennedy tells him as she steps over a fallen tree.
"Let's see what we've got here," Kris says as he clears a way through the tree line.
The river doesn't have the roaring water as I expected. It sounded faster from in the woods. We all line up next to the river bank looking to the other side.
"It's more woods," I say.
"Yeah, it is. Does anyone see a way across? We're not making it across with just us swimming," Owen says. He leans closer to the water trying to see across the river.
"There." Caspian points at a wooden raft on the river bank.
"Thanks," Kris says as he pats Caspian on the shoulder. Spiteful? No. That's just Kris.
The boat's risky, but it looks like it'll work. Its wooden limbs are strung together by a thick string. Someone used it, and it worked. It made it from the other side without any malfunction.
"What about paddles?" Lindsey asks the group. It's some of the few words she says anymore. She hasn't said much of anything in two days.
"Maybe we can kick our feet? The current isn't that bad and it's not too far if you use the raft. We got this!" Mika lilts as she leans over, hands on her hips.
Caspian throws his bag on the raft and starts pushing it towards the water.
"I guess you're going first" Mika extends her arm out towards the boat, "You guys can join him."
"I'll go and swim the boat back to this side," Kennedy says as she helps push the raft.
"I'll go to the other side, too. Vince, want to come with me?" my uncle asks me.
"Yeah, I will." I look at Lindsey, "you want to go?"
"No," she emits. Her shoulders sink below her confidence level. She has reached the point of no return. I don't think the old Lindsey will ever be back.
I nod and join Kris, Caspian, and Kennedy as we get into the water. We kick with our legs, with our backpacks on the raft. We need to keep things dry, like our guns. Owen has the map back on the bank; it's the most valuable thing that needs to stay dry. The ground below us is getting closer as we approach the other side of the river.
"Run!" Mika cries out from behind us. We look behind us and see Mika, Owen, and Lindsey scrambling without direction. Mika is struggling to get her gun from her bag. She jerks the gun out from the bag and slings it around her shoulder. Owen grabs Lindsey's arm and pulls her to his side. The three of them run as fast as they can towards the tree line. The dirt around them flying into the air at the sound of an automatic gun. They jump over a log and disappear into the woods. From down the river bank, four sleepers chase after them. Still pointing guns and aiming to kill. One sleeper notices us on the other side. He lets the other three sleepers continue after Owen, Mika, and Lindsey. He stops and turns his gun towards us. He's after us now. And our group is split.
"Go!" I shriek.
We push the raft away from us and grab our bags. Our tree line is right in front of us. I can't take my eyes off it. We run on the soft ground below the now shallow water. With high knees and splashing water, we move as fast as we can. We slide into the tree line and disappear from the sleepers.
"Owen! Lindsey! Mika!" Kennedy screams. She slings water from her arms. We all want to peek through the woods but we know we can't. We can't let curiosity kill us. We know what's coming.
"We can't do anything for them right now." I'm afraid Caspian is actually right this time...
Kris pulls his gun from the front pocket of his backpack and checks it for ammo. He clicks the gun's chamber closed. "Hide."