I awoke the next morning to my phone vibrating. At first, I thought that if I ignored it long enough, the buzzing would stop and I'd be allowed to drift to sleep without distraction. The problem was that it didn't stop.
The next thirty minutes of my life were spent trying to drown out the buzzing, as I was far too sleepy to simply shut the phone off.
Eventually I gave in and rolled over to grab my phone to do just what I mentioned, shut the damn thing up. That is until I saw all of the messages from Mary telling me to check out the news or The Advocate's website or any damn media outlet, even Twitter if I was feeling desperate.
I chose to check out The Advocate's website, seeing as I'm interning there. It's also one of the most accurate, it's known to report superhero events as they are. Many of the other local papers have a bias either for or against superheroes making them a little unreliable.
That was where I found it, the first thing on the webpage. My photo, my photo was right there.
A beautifully artistic and journalistic snapshot of Spitfire's fiery fist flying straight through Stromer's face.
Holy shit.
I checked Facebook and Twitter and Instagram and there it was, and more photos. I went back to The Advocate's website and noticed a gallery of images had been uploaded to the website. Taking no time, I flipped through it, reading my name under every photo, save a few of Harry's from the Ball itself.
And one of me on Spitfire's arm.
Holy shit.
"Have you seen my photos?" I called Penn, he is my best friend after all.
We had a good talk, he asked if I was okay and then we launched into a discussion on how impressed Penn was by my photos. It was through him I found out that I had made the front page, the front page.
I almost rushed downstairs to grab today's paper but I had another call I needed to make before I could that.
"I did." Murphy didn't exactly sound excited for me, if anything there was a sharp undertone to otherwise joking voice. "You shouldn't put yourself in danger like that Nova, imagine what would have happened if Spitfire hadn't made it in time. If he had been a few moments too late? You'd be dead right now."
"Ouch."
"Penn must have been far worse than I was." Murphy shot back.
"He was actually excited for me, he congratulated me for having my first big break as a photographer." I never expected Murphy to get so mad at me for something that I had no fault in. "It's not like I asked to get in the middle of things, and it ended all right for everyone."
"But what if it hadn't?"Murphy argued back. "What if that stupid fireball hadn't made it in time? Or, if Stromer had dropped you just for the hell of it rather than dragging it out."
"You know what," Does he think that I don't know that? That I don't know I am so lucky to even be alive? "I don't want to hear this right now. I'm hanging up."
The nerve, I cannot believe Murphy chewed me out for something that wasn't even my fault. It wasn't as if I had waved my arms up and down and yelled for Stromer to come after me. No, instead I just had the sort of luck that begged for near-death experiences to plague me.
If anyone, it's Spitfire's fault that I had been lifted away. Stromer had only done so because he saw the attention that Spitfire was giving me and decided that I was some sort of weak spot for him.
As I continued to stew over Murphy's words, a realization dawned on me.
Murphy had called me Nova.
I ignored whatever emotions that tidbit stirred in me and raced downstairs to get this morning's paper. Sure enough, there it was. My photo, a photo that I had taken was on the front page. And on my very first assignment nonetheless.
I ran next door to show Penn, who I knew had already seen it.
Murphy and Penn stood on the front steps obviously in the middle of an argument, and unusual occurrence itself. The two mixed really well and their differing personalities usually meshed really well because it meant they had little it argue over. It was something I admired because even Penn and I have our arguments, not all of which are pretty.
Murphy seemed to notice me first and when our eyes connected, he turned and stormed off past me. Grumbling something about Penn, "letting me get mixed up in this stupid shit again." He slowed only a little bit as we passed each other, but only for a moment before he stalked away to his own home.
Penn looked tired but brightened up when he noticed me coming towards him.
"Well, you are a sight for sore eyes." Penn met me about half-way and slung an arm around me.
"What the hell was that?" I could have continued to pleasantries but that display was a little more than I could overlook. "I don't think I've ever seen Murphy that genuinely pissed off."
"Oliver's tough on the outside but you know as well as I do that he's a softie on the inside, that's why he and I are such good friends."
"That doesn't tell me anything about why you two were arguing."
"It's your fault really."
"My fault?" What the hell is Murphy's problem, did I really piss him off that much after our phone conversation. "How the hell can that dumbass be mad at me? I haven't done anything to him, not really."
"He got off the phone with you and stormed over here. Apparently, you're stupid and unreasonable and reckless and he wanted me to agree with him." Penn paused for a moment and roll his eyes, "Of course I don't, seeing as I am a reasonably levelheaded person. Oliver can be a bit of a hothead, a little too eager to rush into things."
"Okay well, what was that little quip about you?"
"What do you mean?"
"Something about you letting me get 'mixed up in this shit again,' or something. I don't know."
Penn's eyes widened for a moment but his face eventually softened and he sighed, "Oliver is kinda mad at me for you getting attacked by Stromer."
"Why would he be mad about that?"
"First of all he absolutely despises anyone with superpowers. He's pissed off enough about that."
"I'm not a big fan either but that doesn't mean I'm going to blame you for it. Nothing that happened was your fault in any way."
"There's also the fact that I was with you both times." Penn explained as he shook his head in disbelief, "You know how Oliver is."
"What the hell does that mean?" I asked.
Penn faltered for a moment, as if my question had caught him off guard. "Like I said before, Oliver is a little too eager to rush into things. You and I are two of the people he's closest to, and he hates the idea that some weirdo in a cape has tried to kill you twice in such a short time. He's just looking for someone to blame and I'm close," Penn gestured to his house, "I live just down the road so I'm an easy target."
"I live closer to him?" I pointed out.
"Oliver is not going to get mad at you."
"Murphy is mad at me all the time, it wouldn't be new." Nothing about this situation made any sense. "He was mad at me earlier when we talked on the phone, he could have just come over and yelled at me or something."
In all the years Murphy and I have known each other, he has never been shy about calling me out because he knows I'll do the same. That is, until recently. Is something wrong with Murphy?
"Come on Nova, you know why Oliver would come and yell at me and not you." When I didn't answer, he continued, "I can't stay mad at Oliver, that's why we've managed to be friends for so long. Hell, my bad habit of forgiving him for anything is how we became friends in the first place. That being said, it doesn't work that way with you."
"I have forgiven Murphy...plenty of times Penn. That's just ridiculous."
"Nova," Here comes the lecture, "You still haven't forgiven him for the crayon."
"It was my favorite red crayon!" I argued back, not caring how childish I sounded, "And Murphy never apologized for it nor did he give it back. Of course I'm still mad about it."
"That was in preschool. There is no reason for you to still hold a grudge, you gotta forgive him for that someday."
"How about Murphy apologizes and then I will forgive him." I grinned, "See, I would forgive him if he were reasonable and apologized for it."
Penn just shook his head but didn't answer. Maybe I'm being a little unreasonable but I feel like this whole thing is about more than the crayon. Okay so it's mostly about my crayon but there's something else there. Something that I'm forgetting. Maybe he stole my dunkaroos too.
Oh he definitely stole my dunkaroos.
I thought it'd be wise to change the subject, "Back to my photo. Thoughts?"
He seemed to appreciate no longer discussing Murphy so he happily responded, "it was amazing. You totally blow that photographer guy you talk about's photos out of the water. You photo is so amazing!"
"I wouldn't go that far..." Trevor' photo was a thousand times better than mine but Penn was just trying to show me how good he thought my photo was. "...but thank you Penn. Thank you so much. You are the very best friend that a girl could ever ask for. I couldn't stay mad at you, not really."
As soon as the words left my mouth, I realized what was wrong with my statement.
I couldn't stand the flash of hurt that flitted across Penn's face, "I guess I have my answer."
"Penn..." I didn't know what to say to make it any better. It had just slipped out.
Penn is my best friend, and I just don't know that I want more. I mean yes I want more but not at the cost of losing him, of hurting him worse later down the road because one of us no longer felt anything romantic or something happened.
It's selfish, I know that, but there's more than that. If I knew with certainty that I had strong feelings for Penn then I would take that plunge and I would agree to go out with him, to give this budding attraction a chance to bloom into something more. That's the problem, I don't feel sure enough that my feelings are enough to risk all these years of friendship.
Can you blame me? I'm not being completely reasonable here, and it's not as if I haven't given this the thought such a question deserves.
"It's alright Nova, really I understand." I hated how sad Penn looked. Just a moment ago he was praising my photograph and now he's looking at me so heartbroken. "If you think that we are better as friends, that you don't want to take the risk I understand, really I do." He put on a brave face and wrapped an arm around me, "I'm happy you value our relationship so much that you'd rather stay with all this unanswered sexual tension than risk burning out and having nothing. So long as this doesn't ruin our relationship, I'll live."