Chapter18
“Maddie, I love you.”
Maddie, I love you.
Maddie, I love you.
Maddie, I love you.
Skylar’s words keep repeating over and over in my head, bouncing around, making me dizzy. I don’t know how to respond because well, I’m speechless.
Do I love Skylar? Honestly, I have not a clue. I do know that I don’t love him as much as I love Kian, but I do have strong feelings for him.
I guess the real question here is: can I let myself get past Kian and start over with someone else? Can I let everything we had go to waste? Can I accept that me and Kian will never be together again? Can I let myself fall in love all over again?
These questions keep multiplying, turning into thousands of thoughts and questions running through my head. By telling him that I love him back, he would most likely believe that I have moved on from Kian. Do I want him to believe that? Because while I may love him, whom I am beginning to think I do, I still love Kian. The only thing that will change that is time away from Kian.
Will me saying, “I love you,” back be worth it? Will it change anything between me and Skylar? Will he become more protective? Will he become more controlling about who I can and can’t talk to?
My head literally hurts from the questions that keep fogging my mind, all of them running at the speed of light, trying to cram their way into my brain. I can’t take these questions anymore.
“I love you, Skylar,” I reply, nearly regretting the words as they come out of my mouth. But I don’t regret them. Actually, I feel a huge weight lifted off of my shoulders. I realize that I do in fact love Skylar, whether or not the love is as strong as it was for Kian.
I realize that I can’t let a past relationship hold me back from having a good one now. Once I finally understand this, my mind can comprehend things better and I can finally begin to get over Kian.
I look back at Skylar with honesty in my eyes, his eyes lighting up with happiness. “Really?” he whispers.
I pause a second, making sure that this is the direction I want to go. I nod my head before he grins, smashing his lips on mine.
The kiss is caring and a little too forceful for my liking, but I don’t do anything about it. Instead I just kiss back with all the emotion in my body. Skylar makes a small moaning noise before pulling away from the kiss.
He grabs my arm, nearly dragging me across the parking lot to his car. I try to keep up with his pace, but he is getting quicker by the second.
When we get to his car, he grabs his keys and unlocks it, opening the passenger before gently guiding me to sit down. He places a light kiss on my lips before he basically runs around the front of his car and he gets in the driver’s seat. Within seconds, we’re out of the parking lot, headed straight to his apartment.
The car ride is silent, but not in an awkward way. I’m not sure why actually, but he won’t talk. His jaw is clenched and his hands are tight on the steering wheel. I notice something else about his body that seems a little tense, causing me to giggle and look away.
Damn it I know exactly why he is quiet. My guess, which is most likely correct, is that Skylar is extremely horny right now and is planning on sleeping with me tonight. This would make sense since we just confessed our love for each other, but I’m not sure if I want to yet.
I mean, I just don’t know. Do I want to have sex with Skylar yet? I think that we need to wait longer. We have only been dating for about three months. I don’t think I can do this yet.
No, obviously I’m not a virgin, but I don’t want to go around opening my legs for every guy that I’m in a relationship with for more than a month. I want to really mean it when I do it with someone, especially the first time with them. It’s not something that I will just give out.
We finally arrive at his apartment, Skylar rushing me through the door. As soon as the door to his apartment is closed, Skylar shoves me against the back of the door, attacking my lips with his. I try not to whimper because honestly it hurt.
He kisses me with urgency, as if I am going to disappear in the next five minutes. I kiss back, trying to slow down the kiss a little bit. His hands begin to roam my body, moving everywhere as he doesn’t allow the kiss to be slower. I conform to the kiss, following his lead with it. It’s not that I don’t love kissing him, it’s just that I want the kiss to be less forceful and more of a sweet kiss.
His body presses up against mine, and I feel just how much he wants me. It’s actually quite distracting as I try to ease up on the kiss.
Eventually, his hands end up exactly where I knew they would. He begins to unbutton my jeans, and that’s when I have to stop it.
I won’t let him have me just yet, because I want to make sure it’s what I really want.
I place my hands on his arms, pushing them gently away from me as I break the kiss and turn my head away. Skylar instead begins to kiss down my neck. His hands don’t move from where they were, still fumbling with my jeans button.
“No,” I let out, my voice cracking and barely audible. I roll my eyes at my voice before clearing my throat and speaking louder. “No, Skylar.” My tone is strong and serious.
He slowly stops, pulling away from me. The look on his face tells me that he isn’t too happy.
His eyes show disappointment and anger as he stares at me. “Something wrong?” he asks his jaw clenching.
“Not today, Skylar. I’m not ready,” I say quietly, shying away from his dark tone.
His eyes go darker, his eyes narrowing. “What do you mean you’re not ready? I know that you’re no virgin,” he says rudely, shocking me.
“Excuse me? Just because I’m not a virgin doesn’t mean that I will have sex with just anyone,” I reply viciously, offended by what he said. I side step, reaching for the knob of his door. I can tell that he’s getting upset about my decision.
“Whatever,” he says, holding something back. Not really wanting to hear it, I walk out of his apartment.
The farther I wlak away, the more upset I become about the whole thing. He’s now mad at me because I won’t have sex with him? Was sex his only intent all along? It seems like it would be a lot of work just to get in my pants.
I realize that I don’t have a car, so I have to call someone to come get me.
Calling Angela, I stand in the lobby of the apartment building, watching a few people walk in and out. She answers finally.
“What?” she says quietly, seeming irritated.
“Where are you?” I ask her, hoping that she is currently at our apartment or something close.
“Uh, in Washington,” she states, her tone suggestion that I should know that. Shit. Now I remember. I remember her telling me that she was going to Washington for the weekend.
“Oh, alright. Have fun. Bye,” I say before hanging up, calling the next person on my favorites list. When Sandy doesn’t answer, I look back to my favorites list, seeing the list of six guys. I never took the one person off of this list, even after all of this time.
Instead of calling one of the other four that could drive, I call the worst option on the list.
The phone rings once before the receiver picks up.
“Hello?”
“Kian, can you come pick me up?”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Shorter upload because it's quicker than usual.
I hope you guys like it!
So, what do you think will happen next?
comment numbers again!
1.) WHAT THE HELL, DELILAH. WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU. SKADDIE SHOULD NOT BE TOGTHER
2.) I think Kian and Maddie will have a moment
3.) Skylar will see Kian picking Maddie up and get angry
4.) Skylar doesn't really love Maddie and/or Maddie doesn't really love Skylar
5.) Where's the Twitter drama?!?!?!?!?!?!
comment extra thought along with these! thanks everyone!
xox -Delilah