Dear diary,
It's been a year already. Sometimes I still miss him--not the kind of "miss" that you just want to see him though-that If you ever see him again everything will just be okay. It's more. You know, It's the kind of miss that even when he's there you still miss him. I don't even know how to explain it. But I want more of him. I wan't him even though he's already mine. I wan't us to breathe, to live only as one. I know I'll die if he ever leaves. I miss him everyday. Like there's a hole in my heart that can't just be filled up by his presence or our good memories. It's deeper and hard to understand. I guess thats just how love is.
**
I was in junior year when I met him. And it was quite a funny story how it happened.
He had just moved into our city from Denver Colorado, Middle of the school year.
And you know how people talk when there's a new kid in town. Rumors spread that his family is wacked and that someone saw his parents having a picnic at their backyard, naked, on broad daylight.
My best friend and I were walking back to class from lunch about the new kid we'd heard about all day when I turn to the corner, there's this boy just staring at nothingness like he's just trying to figure out how to cure cancer. And then I realized that I didn't know who this kid was, and so it had to have been the new kid. It was kind of an awkward moment, the new guy meeting a couple of girls in a embarrassing way, talking about him to be exact. But it didn't seem to bother him, he just looked at us and smiled. And then I remember my bestfriend snorting and laughing at the same time and saying words I couldn't understand. Queer. Peer. or I guess weird after that.
I walk into art class and realize that my bestfriend, Abby cut classes again. ( She does this often because she can't stand me laughing at her works and our teacher who looks like he's going to eat you anytime soon ) I scan the room and then I saw that weird boy again. Alone. I searched the rest of the room before I went to sit next to him.
"Hi" I said with a stiff smile.
"Hello" He replied back with a huge smile that could reach his ears already.
"My name's Nina, The first time we met., It's- uhhh you are?"
" Uh yeah, I remember you. That's okay, my name is Tony. He smiled and looked away.
I don't remember much after that.