"Yes." She smiled as she welcomed him into her arms with an loving gleam in her eyes. "Just like that Mikaela. Come to mommy."
And he did. The golden tuff of blond waddled over. Cooing and grunting when he swayed a little too much for comfort. Retrieving his excited, toothless smile as he continued to wobble to his beloved mommy.
The one who cheered him on, with such a loving look. The one who uttered nothing but whispers of love as he walked into her arms.
"Good job!" She cheered softly, turning her head to gently kiss the side of his head, making him erupt into a fit of giggles. "You did a wonderful job Mikaela!"
She sighed contently as she hugged him closer to her chest, running a gentle hand through his hair.
"Oh, how I love you, Mikaela." She whispered. Mika untucked his soft, round face to look up at her with bright, gleaming, blue eyes. Eyes pure and innocent.
"So, so much."
Mika opened his eyes. Eyes teary, mouth parted as a small whine left his lips.
'Why did I remember that now?'
'After all that's happened...why did I remember?'
He crossed his arms and placed them over his eyes, biting his bottom lip to stop the sob that threatened to escape.
"Mommy..." He whispered.
He released a shaky breath of air as he added, "I love you too. So, so much."
His days passed fast.
He woke up to René, who fed him two blood filled glass cups for the day. Knowing he wouldn't keep down any more than that.
They had yet to ask, why he did what he did.
So Mika didn't tell.
He lost count of how many days had passed.
All he knew where that he spent most of the day sleeping. And as he slept. He dreamt. Remembered.
Remembered soft, gentle, loving hands. Soft, melodious, loving words.
So he slept.
He wanted to be with her.
Wanted to be in her arms where it was safe.
Where it was warm and loving.
Where his fears and the monster under his bed didn't exist.
"Hush, hush, my love." She cooed. Rocking him back and forth with a soft and quiet voice, loud enough for him to hear. Her head resting on top of his head. "It's okay my love. Mommy's here. Nothing can harm you for as long as mommy's here."
The sobs that came out of the tiny blondes mouth, slowly, but surely turned into nothing but sniffles as he looked up with big, teary, but hopeful eyes and asked, "Really?"
She smiled so lovingly at him, that the fear he felt, the tiny sprinkle of doubt he had, disappeared before she even opened her mouth.
"Yes, my love, yes." She cupped his cheek and gently wiped away his tears. Leaning down to kiss his forehead. She stayed close enough to lean her forehead on his, staring into the blue sky's he owned with her own. "Yes. Mommy's very brave. For you, I will fight the world. To keep you breathing, I'll do anything. So rest easy my love, I'm here."
Mika opened his eyes. He looked around and saw that René had fallen asleep in the chair he was in.
"I'm sorry." He whispered. "I'm sorry I cause you this. Because of me...you are all suffering."
'People don't try so hard to keep someone alive if they don't care. If they don't love you.'
'Your death would hurt them all.'
He continued to stare at René and took in every detail. How the bags under his eyes had increased. How his eyebrows, even in sleep were furrowed, just a tiny bit.
The fact that he was asleep, was a enough to tell the blond that René was tired.
René never slept when it was his turn to care for Mika. To scared to wake up to a cold body.
Mika sighed, as his eyes began to close. Slowly, he allowed his eyes to close.
"-And this one!" She chirped, as she sat on the grass in front of Mika, who stared up at her in awe. As she motioned for him to take the flower she held. He did, gently holding it, just like she had taught him to. "Is a pink camellia." She informed.
She was in love with the language of flowers. Loved to talk about it. And loved to tell Mika all about it.
Mika who was in love with whatever his beautiful mommy was in love with.
"Wha it mean?" He asked. Words clumsy, as he learned how to speak.
She giggled before tucking in a strand of hair behind his small ear and saying, "Pink camellias long for something or someone."
When Mika gave her a look of confusion she giggled before rephrasing herself, "Like when...we wanna play before bedtime but we can't. We long, or we wish, to play."
"Oh!" Was all Mika said, before he nodded his fluffy head to urge her mommy on.
She smiled, thinking for a bit before adding, "Well there also a red camellias and white camellias. The red camellias means passion and or desire. White camellias have the most meanings. Purity. They can mean mourning when used for funerals. And when given to men, they mean good luck."
She smiled and leaned down to bop Mika's nose, making him smile as she said, "The last thing a white camellia can mean is the love between a mommy and her child."
That made Mika's whole face light up. As he bounced in place only to stop and look down worriedly to the flower in his hold. Once he saw it was safe. He crawled into his mommy's lap, who hugged him close.
"Then! I love the whi-white ca-came-camellia the most!" He chirped, making his mom giggle as he added, "It's my fa-favorite flo-flower!"
She laughed and rubbed their noses together, infecting him with her laughter.
Their laughter came to a stop when they both heard a stern voice call out to her.
After Mika drank both cups of blood, and had handed them to René. Who placed them on a silver tray with a "clink" and "clank".
He asked, "Can...can you bring me...a white camellia?"
René had stared at him for more than just a few seconds. Mika hadn't asked anything for days. Hadn't said anything for days.
So he slowly nodded a few times as he said, "Yes. I can."
He did.
Yoichi and Lacus had walked in with a bouquet of white camellias.
It made Mika smile. Made him cry out of joy as he hugged them to his chest and took in a deep breath. Inhaling their smell.
The scent sent him back in time and into the arms of someone who was long gone.
She was singing.
Singing his tears and sorrows away.
Gently swaying him side to side, as he clutched onto her white sun dress. Hiding his tear stained face in the crook of her neck. Sniffing. Calming himself as he took in her scent.
Once he was quiet, her voice came to a stop as she continued to rock him.
"Are you okay now my love?"
He nodded.
She smiled and tilted her head to rest her cheek on his head. "I'm glad."
She enjoyed the breeze that enveloped them as she continued to sway from side so side. Once again in the middle of the garden, on the grass, on her knees.
She momentarily recalled the cold words she had received for doing what she was doing. But shoved the thought away as she brought one of her arms up to rub Mika's back as he released a sniffle.
"I'm glad." She repeated. "For you anything, so never hesitate to ask for me. Mommy is here for you and only you."
She quickly placed a kiss on top of his head, before resting her cheek on his head again. Softly saying, "Even if it's just to be in my arms. Ask me."
How Mika wanted to ask.
But he couldn't.
So he asked for white camellias.
Their familiar scent.
She now resided between his arms, as he held her close. "It's okay if I hug you instead, right?" He whispered to himself.
He was waking around with René, their arms hooked together as support. His mind drifting again.
Just like how the were walking through the mansions hallways, he was then.
He walked, no, ran around the hallways. Looking for long golden hair. For bright, blue eyes.
But he didn't see either.
He slowed his pace down as he frowned.
He sighed tiredly as he passed a door. The door wasn't fully closed, but he didn't think much of it.
Don't think much of the words he heard as he passed.
"-that girl! Honestly! It's such a shame-such a disgrace-that he chose her to marry!"
"She's incompetent! From a good family she may be-but she doesn't know how to live in this world!"
"No! She does! And that's the worst part! She chooses to be herself instead of what she was taught to be!"
"But that's isn't the worst part! She's not educating the child! At this rate he'll end up like her!"
"We need to do some-"
He met eyes with blue. His smile left when he saw, they really were, blue.
Mika blinked as René called out to him. Slowly he turned his head to him and hummed in questioned.
"You seem tired. Let us head back." He said, slowly turning around with Mika.
Mika didn't make it back on his feet. He was weak. He had almost fallen to his knees.
Would have fallen to his knees if René hadn't catched him.
René had carried Mika to his room. But in the short walk back, Mika fell asleep.
It was strange. It was sad. It was terrifying.
Why was she ignoring him? Why did she flinch anytime he touched her? Why did she glare down at him? What had he done?
It was strange because the were always, always, always together.
It was sad because he had asked...he and asked for a hug and she had denied it with a cold gaze.
It was terrifying because it was his worst nightmare. Being hated by mommy was the end of the world for him. Because she was his world.
And she hated him.
Wouldn't touch him.
Wouldn't sing for him.
Wouldn't talk to him about the flowers.
Wouldn't play with him.
Wouldn't sit and lay in the grass as they either pointed at clouds or at stars.
Wouldn't smile at him.
Wouldn't laugh with him.
She wouldn't do anything with him.
Except scream.
And push away.
She hated him.
And the tears didn't stop for the whole day as the realization hit him.
He cried and cried, asking the maids if the knew why she hated him.
The maids who only frowned and gave him a forced smile as they repeated the same thing, "I'm sure she doesn't hate you, Mikaela-sama. She's is just busy and tired."
But he knew that wasn't it.
She wasn't busy.
No matter what she was doing. If Mika simply sent her a glance with the hope of them being together. She'd hurry and finished what she was doing. And if she saw it fit, put it off to run to him with a teasing smile, hands brought up. Warning him she would be tickling him.
Running after him as he already giggled and squealed at the thought of getting tickled.
She wasn't tired.
After all, mommy always stayed up with him to check for the monsters under his bed.
Always stayed up with him to stare and point at stars.
She hated him.
Mommy wasn't mommy anymore. She was mother.
And Mika was terrified of his mother.
Mika blinked his eyes open as René tucked him in.
Once he took notice he had woken up, he patted his head and ran his fingers through his hair as he whispered, "Go back to sleep, Mika. I'm here if you need anything."
Mika nodded. And fell asleep.
Mika opened his eyes, only to half lid them, seeing as he was bout to fall sleep. Exhausted after crying for three days straight.
He quickly closed his eyes at the feel of his bed dipping. And the sound of his covers slightly shifting. Pulled him out before he even fell into sleep.
It was quiet for a while. And Mika would have been scared. If it wasn't for the scent that engulfed him.
She was crying.
Her lips trembled as she kept her sobs in.
She quietly sniffed as she said, "Hate me."
"Please hate me Mika."
"Hate me all you want Mikaela."
"Hate me. Hate me. Hate me. But never leave me."
"Hate me because that's the only way we can be together."
"Hate me because if you don't...they'll-"
She cut herself off to bite her lip as a sob almost escaped. She recomposed herself as she continued to release the emotions she felt.
"Hate me because if you don't they'll take you from me."
She cupped her mouth and pressed her lips tightly together to hold back a sob and tried her best to stop herself from shaking. Tears temporarily blinding her.
She removed her hands as she scooted closer to Mika. Close enough to press her forehead against his.
"I'm sorry my love."
"I am so, so, so sorry,"
She sniffed and carefully and slowly ran her hand through his hair. And after gaining confidence she leaned forward to press her lips to his forehead. To each of his eyes. To both of his cheeks. On his tiny nose. On his chin. Everywhere. Before she gently and very carefully took hold of his small, soft, pale hands and kissed each finger. Each knuckle. The back of his hands and his palms we're both littered with soft loving kisses.
And Mika cried.
He heard his mommy gasp. But she wrote it off as him crying in his sleep.
So she gently squeezed his hands and pressed her lips to his forehead again. Muttering against him, "White camellia. You and I are a single white camellia."
"I love you so much. Never, never, never forget that."
"I love you so much."
She let herself hug him close to her chest.
"Sweet dreams my love."
Never stopped littering his forehead with kisses.
She's stopped when she felt sleep start to lure her in. She made sure to gently kiss him again one last time before she let her tired, teary, blue eyes close.
Mika clung to her as he fell asleep in her loving embrace.
Mika woke up alone.
Mika woke up with white camellias.
Their white petals almost translucent as the morning sun peeked in from his balcony glass doors. And seeped through them, warming Mika in the process.
Mika smiled warmly and lovingly at them.
"We are still a single white camellia."