Four weeks into the programme and we have done so many things because of it. Last weekend we went to one of the largest theme parks in the country while the weekend before that we went go karting. It also includes the daily activities ranging from practice to the school run - just any general thing we feel is fun and a good idea to film. Yes, this does include picking on Jeno - who was sleeping in the games room at the time - and throwing him in the pool.
It's incredibly fun though tiring since I'm having to watch what I say and how I act considering the cameras can be on at any time. This means I'm a lot more considerate of my actions towards the boys - none of our normal rolling around on the floor together wrestling or our snuggling under blankets on movie nights. Well, certainly not to the same level any way.
To the best of my knowledge, the footage we've already sent is being edited and has begun to be processed so it's available for broadcasting as soon as we've stopped filming. On the whole, it's an exciting thing to be doing with my friends, particularly at such a young age. I'm incredibly thankful to SM for giving us the opportunity.
"Rae, concentrate!" Kang demands.
Currently, we're in the middle of a practice - just Chenle and I. We're working on our dance, talking through the things we want to include stay close to the original choreography including the complex lifts and romantic vibe of the dance but at the same time, cut out some of the 'sexual' components for higher intensity moves that require more skill so it highlights our talents. We've figured out most of the routine and know what we're doing - even having run it by the instructors - but with just over two weeks until we fly back to Korea for ten days, in which we'll be performing, it's really not that long.
He's currently demonstrating how to do one of the last lifts we have left to practice with Seoyeon. They've both been keen in helping us, adding in extra practice times while trying to balance out all the sessions with the other boys.
"Sorry" I mumble, turning my attention back to them.
He picks Seoyeon up under one leg after performing a small section of the moves beforehand to show how we'll transition into it. Her body virtually wraps around his as he does so, her pointed toes reaching round to meet one of her extended arms as they spin on the spot, creating an enthralling sight. He then carefully drops her out of it as she places a foot on the floor, spinning round to face him with her hands on his shoulders. It's breathtaking but the thought that that is what we're going to do scares me.
"Raven, you have incredible flexibility for someone who's been dancing for a short time compared to some so I'm confident you can do this, thanks to your previous sporting background" Seoyeon tells me, spinning around to face Chenle and I as we stand side by side.
"And Chenle, I'm pretty sure you're strong enough but we do have mats just in case" Kang chuckles, motioning to the crash mat in the side of the room.
"We'll start with the basic and slowly build it up though" Seoyeon quickly adds. At least they aren't throwing us in at the deep end.
"So, you pick her up like this" he says, demonstrating once again with Seoyeon but in slow mo and not picking her up completely.
"Good, Raven, lift your leg up first so that he doesn't have to bend down to grab you" Seoyeon tells me so I follow her instruction.
When we have that but done successfully, we run through the specific part of the lift several times. We slowly build up from the several moved in front to figure out how it'll flow. Once that's done, we progress to the part where he picks me up, slowly lifting me in a bridal style only not holding both of my legs - just the one.
"Nice. Good work" Seoyeon grins.
"Rae, extend your arm while lifting it up towards Chenle's head slightly, as though gleeful to be held by him" Kang instructs, making me flush slightly at his bluntness.
"Well done. Let's repeat it, make sure you've truly got this" Seoyeon tells us and their wish is our command.
Next, we move from that to wrapping my arms around his neck until, once again repeated until we've mastered it. This is certainly one time I'm thankful for my petite and light weight frame - it's just muscle on me. Then we put it together, all except the part where we spin around with my body wrapped around his. Before we try that, they want to make sure that we have the other sections as best as we can for the moment.
"Ok, so now Raven, you bring your leg down and wrap both around his body as though you're trying to touch your head with your feet. Your entire body should be extended with one arm around his neck, the other flowing behind him and reaching round. You know the feeling when you hold your arm out of a car window and lull your head back? It should be like that" Kang explains, pulling us both over. He ones again demonstrates the section with Seoyeon to make it clear as to what we have to do.
Since this is the more complicated part of the lift, it takes several attempts to make it work correctly. The first few times I panic that Chenle is going to loose his grip on me and drop me so I remove my legs from his grasp and fall out of it as gracefully as possible. Some of the other times Chenle slows down too much with his hands sweating so he had to place me back on the ground to continue. Eventually however, we manage to get it.
While it may not be as quick as it will be nor as sharp, we're slowly getting there. We repeat it and repeat it, improving a little each time until we're ready to fit it into the rest of the routine. We run it through several times, building up to the lift and successfully managing it. We both have proud grins in our faces each time, pleased we've landed correctly and are confident enough to do it.
Soon though we're forced to perform it to the music. Around ten or fifteen times we miss the count, taking too long for the execution. We slowly get better however and we gradually make it to the correct beat. The last time we run it rough with full energy, it's almost exact. While it's not the sharpest, it's certainly a lot better than it was.
Chenle and I hug each other in gratitude when we're done, showing our satisfaction at our performances before grabbing our stuff and thanking Seoyeon and Kang.
"You know, you're a lot lighter than you look" Chenle teases.
"Why thank you. You're a lot stronger than you look, I always just though you were little and weedy" I joke, quickly hopping several paces in front to avoid getting flicked by him.
"You grab the snacks and drinks, I'll set up the laptop" he tells me with a grin as we enter into the short corridor leading to the foyer.
"Meet you in ten, I also need to get out of these stinking cloths." I remind him.
We turn off in our separate directions; him heading up the stairs and me into the kitchen. I pretend not to notice the prying eyes of my uncle and the two other managers, no doubt ready to question my reasons for ferreting through the cupboards.
"Your normal weekend movie session or whatever with Chenle?" Manager Kim asks, finally braving the questions they're all desperate to answer.
"Yup" I nod, not stopping what I'm doing.
I open the fridge and grab a couple of bottles of coke each before placing them on the side. I then rummage through the cupboards, grabbing a few of bags of crisps and putting them on the counter top beside the drinks before turning to take in the curious faces.
"So, what film are you watching?" Manager Lee asks.
"No idea. Might be a film, might be a few episodes of drama. Just depends" I shrug.
"This becoming a regular thing?" My uncle questions, looking up from the paperwork in front of him on the table.
"Yes, no, maybe, possibly, probably. Honestly, I have no idea" I shrug as I grab the items from the unit.
"Well, keep us updated. We're always interested in budding new romances" Manager Lee teases.
I give no reply, just rolling my eyes at their behaviour. Anyone may think it's their teenage daughter going out with a boy for the first time. And in some respects, you could say it is. After all, it's like going to the cinema with my crush. Except at home. In normal, lazy clothes. With no designated seats. So definitely not a date in other words.
"Have a nice time and don't forget to text us when you want a lift home" Manager Kim calls as I walk out the kitchen, food and drinks in hand. I ascend the stairs, trying not to trip over as I do so before pressing up against the wall when I pass Jaemin and Jungwook. They both give me knowing smirks, evidently thinking beyond the basics and assuming things that are not true.
I ignore them and instead continue on my way, rounding the corner to take me down the long corridor and then the short one that just contains Chenle's room and a bathroom. I push open his door, dropping the drinks on his desk and snacks on his bed. After an exchange of a few short words - just what I get since he's trying to plug in the laptop so cannot look - I make my exit to get changed.
I pull on a different pair of cropped leggings and a new, less smelly tshirt. I brush my hair into a neat high pony tail as well so that it's out of my face. When I'm done, I leave my room in a hurry due to the eagerness of wanting to get on and watch whatever it is.
"Jeez, what took you so long?" Chenle laughs as I enter his room once again, flopping down on his bed after grabbing a bottle of coke. Luckily it's one of the screw top ones and I haven't opened it yet so it's not going spill everywhere.
"Remember who was the one that had to get the drinks and snacks, plus I had to change out of my dance clothes" I remind him. "What are we watching anyway?" I ask, curious at what he's chosen.
"We are having a Twilight marathon" he smiles, looking over at me to gauge my reaction.
"Seriously?"
"Yup." He grins proudly as he puts the laptop between us.
We're both lying on our fronts on his double bed, a bag of crisps between us and the screen in front, positioned just in front of the pillows. As he opens up the correct Netflix tab, adding on the subtitles and then selecting the correct movie, I look around his room. It's definitely one of my favourites amongst all the other boys though mine is obviously better.
The colour scheme is bright with one wall papered entirely in white and black wallpaper with a large built in 'hole' down the end opposite the door. It holds the large double bed we're currently on with a few shelves built into the walls on either side and painted orange on the inside while on the outside, it's black. The desk is against one of the adjacent walls, the chair facing away from the windows that light up the room while a couple of chairs sit right in front them. The ceiling is high, just like in my own room, creating a very similar light and airy feel.
The thing that I love the most though, amongst it all, is definitely the bed. It's massive and almost square, giving tons of space to role around and relax. The way that it's built in is wonderful, almost making it seem like a separate room and giving the illusion of there being more space than there is.
My attention is captured however by the starting of the film, reaching for the crisps as Bella appears. So we lie around for nearly two hours, watching the first film. It's alright but not the best. I find Bella a bit of a drip since she's so dependent on others. On the other hand, I'm a sap when it comes to romance so I enjoy it.
It's the first time that Chenle has seen it as well. We mutter the occasional comment or two while I explain the plot occasionally to him whenever he's confused about anything. He, like me, enjoys romance films so we end up starting the next one. By the time it's finished, it'll be around 6 in the evening and we'll have watched four hours of film.
____
"Give me my coke back!" I demand, Chenle having grabbed the new bottle out of my hand. I brought enough for two each upstairs and I've had one but he's had two meaning the last is mine.
"But I want a drink!" He tells me. It's half way through the second movie and he's grown slightly impatient. I must admit, it doesn't get interesting until the last two.
"Give it to me" I moan, sitting upright.
"Nope!" He grins menacingly, also in a upright position as the movie keeps playing.
I lunge for it, knocking him backwards with me landing on top of each other. My cheeks burn while Chenle still clutches the coke bottle.
Somehow this feel more intimate, more personal than the dance we have to do. While we've been closer, bodies pressed together more and hands in places they aren't now, aka touching shoulder or hips, that was business - for the dance. This is not. It's just us. Together. With no one else around. In private. And it's not even like he's telling me to get off.
Instead, he's just staring intently at me.
It feels as though it happens in slow motion. I don't move to grab the coke. He doesn't move it push me off of him. With our noses nearly pressed against each other, my legs around his waist, it certainly looks comprising. And what he does next isn't really helping.
No, he does what I least expect.
Slowly, ever so slowly, he lifts his head to meet mine. My eyes must be bulging as he does so since I'm so in shock. His lips gently peck mine, retracting as quickly as they came. His cheeks flush a no doubt similar shade to mine as he refuses to meet my eyes.
"Sorry" he mumbles, not looking at me.
"Why?" I ask softy.
"I-I don't know. I didn't know if it was alright with you" he replies.
I give no answer. Not in words at least. I dip my head to meet his lips again, just another peck. Before my lips meet his again though, the door swings open, creating a loud bang that covers the noise of the on going movie.
"Oh. My. God" Junseo exclaims loudly as I rapidly try to scramble off of Chenle, brushing back my hair and trying to avoid making eye contact with anyone in the room.
"Is there something you're not telling us about your 'innocent' movie sessions?" Jaemin asks on one side of Junseo while Jeno stands on the other in shock.
"Wait, are you filming this?!?!" Chenle virtually shouts.
"In our defence, we thought it was completely innocent and we're just planning to hate crash your Netflix and chill" Jeno explains as he holds the camera steady.
"What's happening?" Renjun desperately questions, rounding the corner and arriving in the door way if Chenle's room.
"Please tell me nobody's died!" Yukhei pleads, not far behind him.
"We heard a loud shout" Jungwook struggles, out of breath slightly.
"Let's just say there's a bit more to their Netflix and chill than we first thought...." Junseo murmurs.
"As in, 18+ Netflix and chill?" Yukhei checks worriedly. I'm just hoping nobody else turns up.
"Is it true?" Jungwook looks to us for confirmation as most of them stand there, trying to process what happened.
"Well.... in our defence we were watching twilight...." Chenle tries to explain.
"Yeah, he tried to nick my coke and then we were wrestling cause I was trying to get it back but he refused and I kinda fell on top of him" I further add, awkwardly scratching the back of my neck.
"That still doesn't explain the whole ki- lip touching thing" Jeno reminds us, wave his arm around slightly. I notice he still hasn't lowered the camera.
"Um, Chenle as trying to get up and" I begin at the same time Chenle says "it was an accident"
After several more quick fire questions, I make my escape and leave some of the boys behind to grill Chenle while Jaemin and Yukhei follow me. I push open the door to my room, the boys accepting a non-existent invitation to follow. Protective older brother mode activated. Lecture here we come.
"If he lays a hand on you..." Jaemin mutters, shutting the door behind him as I sit on the edge of my bed.
"I mean, we knew there was something brewing between you two but we thought you were keeping it strictly pg-13" Yukhei mumbles.
"Look, nothing happened ok. It was an accident. I just fell on top of Chenle a-a-and, I don't know" I desperately try to tell them.
"Rae..." Yukhei mumbles.
"It's fine" Jaemin reassures, both of them giving me understanding looks.
"It's confusing and you're not sure what's happening. It's always going to be like that but just know that it isn't necessarily one sided." Yukhei advises, going from hard core to softie in 0.5.
"Just don't let things become awkward" Jaemin adds.
They give me a few more tips, helping me process what just happened though I don't tell them everything. They still think it's an accident though at least I didn't have to explain about my crush - that they already knew at least. It kinda helps but at the same time, I just wanna be left alone. That or speak to Chenle.
Since he just kissed me and all. Voluntarily. And I kissed him back.
Why does this have to be so confusing?
A/N -
Hey there delightful readers. It's been a long time since I last updated and for that I'm incredibly sorry. Things have been hectic at school because I'm now Head Girl (go me!) but that's meant giving loads of speeches and stuff that I've had to write, plus it's just entering mock exam season for me as it's my GCSEs this year. Additionally, I've been concentrating on writing the sequel to this story and I promise you'll like it. Anyway, apologies for the super long and crappy chapter, it's been written for like 6 months, I just didn't get round to finishing it. Lots of love, don't forget to vote, comment and follow,
K xxx