a/n: This chapter is dedicated to my SOTUS fam. You guys know who you are! :-*
Song for the chapter ^^ (lyrics *.*)
Arthit watched as his hand of its own accord grabbed the red tie and he followed it by kissing Kongphob.
*
Kongphob had been terrified when Arthit had asked him if he had any feelings for the latter and relieved when the older boy dismissed his own question. He had not been ready to confess. He had not prepared himself for the eventual heartbreak never mind that it happened anyway. Arthit avoiding him had been too much of a coincidence to not be it. When Arthit refused to take his own books from him, Kongphob just knew Arthit had heard what had not been meant for his ears.
Then, Kongphob had that conversation with Em. He knew his classmate had been talking about Mei. Kongphob wasn't blind to Em's obvious liking for Mei and he wouldn't never do anything to get between his friend and their love interest. Besides, he wouldn't either encourage Mei, give her hopes only to break her heart later. A few hours later, Mei did confess to him and he turned her down just like he had said Em he would. Also, Mei was his friend. He wouldn't ever do that to her. He knew what it felt like. Even if Kongphob before that night never explicitly said a certain third year about his feelings, he had been obvious enough to let the other catch up on it without needing any other prompting. Kongphob knew Arthit knew the former had feelings for the raven-haired boy but by voicing his thoughts, perhaps, the older boy had come to his senses and was avoiding him.
Could there be a possibility that Arthit was disgusted by him now?
It didn't feel that way to him though but he couldn't ever tell for sure with Arthit. Then, he saw Arthit with his former love chatting animatedly, the both of them.
Seeing both of them at the same table, talking so happily when Arthit was avoiding him pained Kongphob. The freshman decided to keep distance from the other. If he saw the other while crossing each other on the corridors, at the cafeteria, the library, Kongphob walked straight without turning his face, without acknowledging the other boy. If others were there with him, he always greeted Arthit not wishing to disrespect him in front of others. If he saw Arthit standing at the balcony, Kongphob would pretend he never saw the other. If he saw the third year look at him in confusion, the freshman ignored it. He was going to give Arthit all the space he needed and give himself the time too. So, he avoided him.
After Arthit recovered from the sudden bout of sickness he had fallen into and returned to the university, Kongphob went back to ignoring him. One time he caught the flash of hurt in Arthit's eyes when he called the other 'kao'. It was something which had seemed right at that moment but seeing Arthit so anguished caused him distress. Kongphob, however, didn't know how to take his words back and walked away from the boy he loved with determined steps.
Seeing Arthit in a black suit and red tie soared his heart - Arthit was the most beautiful sight in his eyes. Kongphob suspected it would remain that way. He had after all taken only an hour to contemplate on whether he liked Arthit Rojnapat, another boy. Having decided it was love that he was feeling for the other and definitely nothing platonic, Kongphob had decided to pursue the matters of his heart with sincerity.
The object of his affection, however, made it extremely difficult for him.
It was even more difficult not to just go to Arthit's flat, even if unannounced to check up on him when he was sick. It was difficult for him to not look at Arthit's window, to check his balcony. He didn't fight though if his mind filled with images of Arthit; it would have been a lost cause anyway.
Seeing Arthit chat with his friends, outside of their campus was disconcerting. It had been quite sometime since he last saw Arthit outside of his third year image. Even that night after their last exam had been but a fleeting moment. By the time Kongphob had looked back, Arthit had been gone.
Now Arthit was standing next to him, the scent of the former's cologne permeating his senses. When Tum and Phone casually talked about how 0062 and 0206 code members were fated to be together left him dispirited. He was going to be the first one in their university's long history for whom it was not going to happen. His 0206 was so physically close to him and yet they had a divide wider than an ocean. He was within touching distance and yet Kongphob couldn't even look in his way.
Arthit didn't surprise the taller boy when he tried to talk to him. Kongphob knew Arthit was feeling guilty for his actions and would try to mend things between them but Kongphob didn't wish to get his hopes up and asked the other boy to refrain from any friendly unnecessary interactions.
Nevertheless, Kongphob watched Arthit continously glance at him through the entire party. He also didn't miss Arthit take the card to Tum (the one Kongphob had not-so seriously suggested Arthit to give the then-fiance on his wedding.) For some reason Kongphob chose to stay behind instead of leaving with his senior Pern. Arthit surprised him this time when he asked the taller boy to follow him for food - even though there was an entire banquet going on inside.
Kongphob followed him confused, unable to discern the other's actions as Arthit and he ate in silence after Arthit exchanged their orders just like before. The way Kongphob's heart palpitated in its cage, he thought his chest was going to get bruised. He was already nursing phantom bruises of his heartbreak. He was apprehensive of what Arthit was going to say next. He was trying to squash the hopes trying to sneak back in when Arthit kept glimpsing at him, gave him the chopsticks or placed the meatballs in his bowl. There was no way this was going to end in anything good.
Kongphob was barely able to digest his rice and omelette wanting to throw up from all the trepidation.
Nevertheless, he still followed Arthit walking behind the shorter boy unable to muster courage to fall in step with him.
They walked all the way to Rama bridge before Arthit finally stopped.
*
Arthit made up his mind after talking to Tum. Notwithstanding his misgivings regarding their current situation, he decided to take action. Now only if he could find a chance to..
He called Kongphob on the phone relieved to see him when he turned around. Given his temperament, Arthit needed to be in control of things to do what he was going to do. He was going to give the younger boy the answer to the question he never really got to ask. Breathing in, he asked the other boy to accompany him for food. He needed some lesser crowded place, somewhere where no one knew them. They silently ate their food. Arthit tried to gauge the other's reaction. He didn't know exactly what Kongphob was thinking but he could tell the knit brows of the younger boy was one of confusion and incertitude. Arthit could only hope that he wasn't too late.
They walked and walked. Kongphob silently followed and followed. He followed without uttering a single word. Why was this boy like this?
Fuck it Arthit thought and stopped in the middle of the bridge's pavement. He couldn't stretch it any longer. It was now or never.
*
Kongphob thought that time had come when he will be told what he felt for Arthit was wrong, that he couldn't do it, that he had no right to do so and by Arthit himself of all people. Still he couldn't help but argue that no matter how close or far he still wanted to be beside the other. For a minute there he believed that Arthit was actually considering it especially when he started listing the 'reasons' Kongphob shouldn't want to be beside him. With every word that Arthit began uttering Kongphob's hope started unfurling its wings.
*
Arthit was giving Kongphob the last chance to back away. Also he didn't understand why someone - Kongphob would want Arthit, another man. Say no, Kongphob, say no.
"Yes."
That he was his senior. Say no, Kongphob, say no.
"Yes."
That for someone who had a fierce Head Hazer image, he drank pink milk. He couldn't stop from adding that he was sometimes an idiot, at times selfish, bad tempered, someone with a tendency to create fuss, foolish. He couldn't believe why Kongphob would want to be with him. He couldn't help but add that he was also a late riser. How could Kongphob still accept him?
Say no, Kongphob, say no.
Kongphob's licking of his lower lip, sudden smile began to make Arthit's heart pound. If he was nervous before now his legs felt weak and felt his joints go stiff. Say no, Kongphob, say no.
"Yes.. I can accept it." Damn it, 0062.
Kongphob's 'can you accept me' threw him off. Arthit looked away. What did Kongphob think he was doing by saying all this? Write his thesis? 0062 was stupid. The freshman was trying to make him say things. Wasn't it enough that Arthit's palms were sweating, that he felt stuffy in his suit even though they were outside on a cold night? Wasn't it enough that Arthit was standing in front of him and uttering all these words? He replied slightly miffed. "I still don't know you well enough." The crestfallen look on Kongphob made him feel better. Only slightly.
*
Kongphob tried to understand where Arthit was going with his list of reasons. When the latter asked him 'can you still accept me', Kongphob couldn't believe his ears. The cold blanket on his heart had suddenly been lifted because surely this meant Arthit accepted him? His hopes rekindled with new spirit only to be dashed when Arthit said 'I still don't know you well enough.'
*
It took a second to realize it wasn't the most brilliant thing to say and also because Kongphob was so dense. Seriously. He corrected clapping Kongphob on his right shoulder, "But, I want to get to know you more."
The look of hurt on Kongphob hesitantly morphed into a half grin and the densehead had to ask Arthit again looking slightly smug what the latter meant.
Arthit wanted to wipe that smugness off his face and quieten his own thunderous heart.
Arthit watched as his hand of its own accord grabbed the red tie and he followed it by kissing Kongphob. His eyes closed automatically and he felt the thin chapped lips of Kongphob's against his. For a second, the world had stopped to him. Even his treacherous heart. Then, Kongphob smiled against his lips - Arthit felt him smile - and it was like time had kick-started again. Arthit pushed Kongphob back with the hand he was gripping the other's tie and rapidly blinked his eyes.
He kissed Kongphob.
He kissed Kongphob.
Arthit tried to clear his mind and get his wits back which had disappeared suddenly. Answer. Kongphob's answer. Yea. He tried to reply as coolly as he could. "That was your answer."
As soon as he said that he realised he could no longer look at the other boy. Arthit turned around ready to escape now that he had said it, Kongphob grabbed him just above his wrist.
"Hold on, p'Arthit." Arthit turned around cautiously already anticipating something Kongphob-like from him. "I didn't hear your answer clearly." That boy was a smug bastard. "Could I ask for another one?" Arthit could feel his face heating up. Kongphob was basically asking him to kiss him again.
"I'm not doing it again!"
Arthit was so embarrassed. Only if the ground would swallow him up. His face was turning red. Damn. Arthit was trying to rush away. This was the most embarrassing thing ever.
Kongphob knew how he felt, what Arthit felt for him.
The younger boy was now teasing him, trying to grab hold of his hand. Arthit wanted to melt onto the bridge.
God, Kongphob was going to be insufferable.
a/n: I went crazy going back and forth between the scenes of Ep 13 and checking the dialogues and their expressions and not end up writing them as Krist and Singto !!!
Also, I am away on a break so don't think I'll be able to update anymore this week.
Did this chapter live up to your expectation? Even if you might not have been expecting :3