Why hasn't he called yet?
I paced my room as I waited for his call, my phone clutched in my hand. I groaned and decided to call him. It was fair as it was me who started this.
My finger hovered over his name, but at the last moment I changed my mind and called Brooke instead. She would help me figure it out.
I told her everything, except for Calla. Nobody knew about her except Asher's family and me. The whole reason sounded ridiculous when I excluded her. But no matter what I couldn't mention her.
"You are stupid," she decided when I was finished with my rambling.
I rolled my eyes.
"Thanks, Brooke, my problem's all solved," I said.
"I can't believe you're my best friend," she said. I could imagine her shaking her head.
"Hey! You love me!"
"True," she said.
I plopped down on my bed.
"Help me out here," I pleaded.
"You are sabotaging your relationship with him," she said and I denied.
"I am not! How ca—"
"You can't deny it. You are doing it," she interrupted me in the middle of my sentence.
I sighed.
"How can I sabotage my own relationship?!" I asked, incredulously.
"Subconsciously. You believe that you both can't work out so much that you are opting for an easy way out. Less time. Less heartbreak," she explained, leaving me speechless.
"Umm... Wow," I said.
She chuckled.
"I'm a pro, right?"
"But I don't want to end things with him. I want this to work out," I whined.
"Then you're gonna have to take the first step. Apologize," she said.
I let out a laugh.
"No."
She scoffed.
"Go. Now," she said.
I tried to talk my way out of it.
"Don't you think I should give him some time? To cool down," I said.
"Stop making excuses and go to him. Drop down on your knees," she said.
I narrowed my eyes.
"I'm so not going to do that," I said, scrunch in up my nose.
She laughed.
"I know. Now stop pestering me and annoy your lover boy. At least then one of us would get a happy ending." Her voice became quiet all of a sudden.
"Wait. What do you mean by that?"
"Nothing. Just that Dave and I are no longer together," she said nonchalantly.
"What?!" I screeched.
"My ears!"
"How? When did that happen?"
"Not long ago," her nonchalance was scaring me.
"Are you alright?" I asked softly.
"Yeah. Of course. It was me who ended it anyway," she said.
"Why? Why would you do that?" I asked.
She clucked her tongue. "Long distance relationships are just as hard as they say," was her answer.
"But you guys were happy. You made it work for two years," I argued. I couldn't believe she did that. When everything was going fine.
"It wasn't enough," she said and her breath caught.
"Are you alright, B?"
"Don't worry about me. I'm fine," she said, but I didn't believe her. And when I heard her sniffle I was done.
"Sit tight. I'll be right there," I said and picked up my car keys from my bedside table.
"Bring some food," she said, trying to laugh.
"You got that," I hung up.
****
We lay on our stomachs on her bed, watching shitty chick flicks and eating chocolate ice cream. When we were in the middle of a really cheesy scene, Brooke paused the movie and sat up, facing me.
"It's so boring," she complained.
"It's post-breakup therapy," I shrugged.
"I don't need therapy," she said. "I'm over it."
I knew she wasn't. She loved him. But it wouldn't be like Brooke not be tough.
"Why didn't you tell me you were feeling like this?" I sat up and wrapped my arms around my knees.
She crossed her legs and fiddled with her fingers on her lap.
"There was so much going on in your life with your mom and Evan and then Asher, I didn't want to bother you," she said.
I looked up at her, feeling like such a shitty friend.
"I'm sorry, Brooke," I said.
"It's no big deal," she waved it off.
"But you should have brought it up," I said.
"I didn't get a chance," she shrugged.
My face fell. I was so wound up in myself that I didn't notice what my best friend was going through. I couldn't be by her side in all this when she was be my side all this time.
Before I could apologize again she spoke up.
"Enough about me. You shouldn't even be here right now. You should be with your future baby daddy. I was doing better before you came anyway," she joked.
My jaw dropped. I grabbed a pillow and threw it at her, smacking her on the head.
"You're even worse than Asher," I grumbled.
"Aw! You're blushing," she cooed.
"Am not!" I buried my face in my palms and could feel it getting hotter.
She laughed and I smiled.
"Promise me you're gonna tell me what's going on with you from now on," I said.
"Alright. But you promise me the same. I still haven't forgiven you for hiding things from me," she said.
"I didn't hide anything," I said.
She narrowed her eyes. "Crush. Ashton. Ring a bell?"
I had hoped she would forget that.
I gave her a sheepish smile. She crossed her arms over her chest.
"What are you hiding?"
"Where did that come from?"
"The Ellie I know wouldn't make a big deal of something not working out in the future. She would rather enjoy the present. What are you not telling me?"
When did Brooke get so mature?
I chewed on the inside of my cheek and looked at her.
Alright.
Here we go.
"Asher has a daughter. Her name is Calla," I said. I felt lighter somehow. It felt good to finally tell her. I should have told her way sooner. Nobody said to keep it a secret anyway.
"What?" she was dumbfounded.
I repeated it just for the heck of it.
"Holy shit," she whispered, looking at me. Her eyes were wide and her expression grave.
"Details. Now," she demanded and so I told her everything that had happened at Nick's birthday party and the aftermath of it.
"You bitch!" was the first thing she said after hearing it all.
I gave her a confused look.
"You kissed Asher and didn't tell me."
Was that the only thing that she got from my blabbering? I looked at her as if I couldn't believe her.
"I don't even know what to say. FYI, I didn't kiss him. He kissed me. And that was not something I wanted to even think about," I said.
"Do you now?" she huffed. "So what are you gonna do about it?"
"About what?"
"About the sitcom that your life has become," she stretched her legs.
"But holy shit. I can't even..." she trailed off.
Yeah, me too.
It took me a lot of time to wrap my head around it. And still, it seemed not real sometimes.
"You can't tell a single soul," I warned.
She glared at me.
"What do you think I am? Of course, I know that," she muttered.
"Just making sure," I mumbled.
"Whoa. What even." It was safe to say that Brooke was in shock.
I remained silent.
"I think I'll have to sleep on it to make my brain start functioning again," she said.
"Okay."
"But you... God, I'm not even in a state to give advise right now," she muttered.
"I'll just go," I stood up to leave.
She nodded.
"Take care, Brooke!" I said on my way out.
"Girl, next time you tell me something like this, be sure to bring popcorn," she called.
****
Somehow I found myself in Asher's house, standing in the hallway leading to the basement. Ashton told me that he'd been there since he came back this evening. I willed myself to walk until I reach the door. I hesitated. I could feel the beats of drum reverberating through the door.
I took a deep breath before opening the door and descending the stairs. The basement in McArdle mansion had a studio at one side and a gaming area on the other. A TV set was in the middle with a large couch in front of it. The place was huge enough to easily be used to host big parties.
My eyes found Asher immediately. He was sitting behind a drum set, drumsticks in hands, immersed in what he was doing. He didn't even notice I was there. I stood there silently, watching him play. All his focus was on the beat he was playing and nothing else mattered.
His head swayed along with the beat, making his hair fall on his face. Sweat covered his bare chest. I just stood there, memorizing every single detail. The muscles in his arms clenched and relaxed as he produced a sound that made me want to move along with it.
At some point, he looked up and his eyes met mine. I tensed and he missed a beat, but he continued to play. His intense gaze held mine, my heart was beating out of my chest by the time he finished. He dropped the drumsticks and stood up, walking over to the bottle of water kept on the ground. He picked it up and emptied it all in one go. All this time my eyes followed his every moment, every flex of his muscles. I couldn't help but notice how low his jeans hung on his waist, revealing the band of his underwear. He grabbed a hand towel and his shirt from a chair and walked over to me.
"What are you doing here?" he murmured. He began to wipe the sweat from his face and proceeded to his chest.
I gulped.
"I uh I," Nothing except that came out of my mouth.
He looked at me through his lashes. My throat dried up and I screamed internally. What was he doing to me?
"What happened? Cat got your tongue?" he took a step closer to me.
I involuntarily stepped back and bit my tongue.
He took another step forward, but this time I held my ground. "I came to apologize," I said.
"What for?"
I was feeling really uncomfortable with him getting all up in my personal space, so I turned and walked towards the couch.
"For what I said today. I shouldn't have said it and I'm sorry," I said.
I could hear his footsteps as he came to stand behind me. "You don't need to apologize for anything," he said.
"But I do. What I said was wrong and—"
"What you said wasn't wrong," he interrupted me.
"That's not what I meant," I mumbled.
"Then what did you mean?" he came to stand in front of me, chest covered by a t-shirt.
"I shouldn't have said the other thing I said and I shouldn't doubt you or us," I said.
"There is no us," he stated and I felt as if all the air was knocked out of me.
"B-but," I stammered. He held up a hand.
"Wasn't it what you wanted? I'm just making it easier for you. You can forget last week and I'll be glad to pretend nothing ever changed," he said.
I couldn't believe what he was saying. How could he even think that? Anger bubbled inside me as I got up all in his face.
"No," I bit out, staring straight in his eyes.
"What?" he breathed, his eyes returning my stare with such intensity that I almost lost the trail of my thoughts.
"No one is pretending anything," I said fiercely. "We never broke up. Okay? You never said the words. We're still together and I intend to keep it that way for a long time,"
He held my gaze for a long time. So long that I started to feel stupid for what I just said. "That was so hot," he finally said, his gaze burning me up from the inside.
All my fierceness threatened to deflate and become a gooey mush at his words as his hand reached out for me.
"I'm not finished," I held up my hand, holding onto whatever fierceness was left in me really tightly.
His hand retreated to his side and he balled it into a loose fist.
"Now you're going to tell me everything. And I'll listen and I'll stay," I said.
"Are you done now?" he asked.
This time his words caused my fierceness to deflate because they crushed my hope.
I nodded meekly.
"Good. Because I really want to kiss you right now," he cupped my cheeks with his hands.
My eyes flew to his and they were wide.
"You're not mad?"
He shook his head.
"Not even a little annoyed?"
"Uh huh," he shook his head again.
That's weird.
"You're weirder," he said and pressed his lips to mine. My arms instantly found their way around his neck, pulling him closer. His hands tangled in my hair as he walked me backward, towards the couch. I fell back with him on top of me. My senses were super aware of him, the warmth his body caused, pressed against mine drove my mind crazy.
Every kiss with him was better than the last. His lips moved against mine with the same passion he was playing drums with minutes ago. By the time he pulled back, I was breathing heavily and my hair was a wild mess.
He sat up on the couch, running his hand through his hair. Fun times over, now it was time for attending to some serious issues.
I stood to sit beside him, but he pulled my hand and I ended up on his lap, his arms instantly going around my waist, holding me in place. I opened my mouth to protest, but he planted a kiss on my lips, then on my nose and then on my forehead, efficiently shutting me up.
I rested my head on his chest and he sighed. My finger started drawing shapes on his chest as I waited for him to speak. He looked down at me and smiled.
"You are distracting me, Anderson," he murmured.
I stopped what I was doing and sat up on his lap, throwing my arms around his neck and resting my head on his shoulder. "Better?"
He chuckled as he shook his head slightly.
I pouted and he stole another kiss from me, grinning widely.
"It was a long day, huh?"
"Mhmm," I hummed.
"Let's talk about that tomorrow?" he asked.
"Okay," I said. It was fine. At least he had agreed to talk and not stormed out this time. It was progress.
I unwrapped my arms from around his neck and pulled back to stand.
"What are you doing?" he asked.
"Going home?"
He took both my arms and wrapped them around his neck again, rested my head on his shoulder and began caressing my hair.
"Stay," he said softly, resting his cheek on my head.
And that's what I did.
📚📚📚📚
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Random Question - Do you guys like reading series that take place in the same world or not? Like TMI and TID and PJO and Heroes of Olympus, etc.
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-K