Kisame had finished half his coffee when his daughter literally tumbled all the way down the stairs and popped up like she hadn't tripped in the first place.
"Hi, pops!" she exclaimed. He smiled into his cup as she ran around him to get something from the fridge.
"Hi, Ren. Training today?"
"Mhm," she replied. When she closed the fridge door and went back to sit at the counter, some of last night's cake was stuffed in her cheeks and a glass of juice in her hand. She paused on the stool and looked up, whispering in horror. "Dad's not home, is he?"
"Don't you think you should've asked that before you took the cake?"
"I was— well— it's good cake. Is Dad here? is he? Oh no, he's gonna be pissed when he finds out I had cake for breakfast—"
"And he'll give a lecture."
"Ack, those are so boring! Last time he lectured me was because apparently it's not safe to hang out of windows, but what was I supposed to do? 'toshi was actually doing the thing and 'keo was trying to stop him and I had to get it on video and hanging out the window had the best angle—"
Kisame laughed as he reached over and tousled her hair until it resembled a bird's nest.
"Your dad left earlier to assist Sakura-sama in surgery, don't worry."
Ren pouted.
"Pops!" she whined. "Come on, I thought you were really gonna sell me out to Dad!"
"For cake? Nah. Give me some and I'll keep quiet."
"Deal."
At the hospital in one of the operating rooms, Kabuto sneezed.
::
To say the Rinha household was calm most days was... generally the truth. Takeo was an early riser to reasons completely unknown to his father who, if given the chance, would crash until noon. Or at least until his mother or his many uncles would come over and drag him out of bed. But on a normal day, he and his parents would wake up at five, his mother would leave at six, and he and his dad would leave at seven.
It was routine.
So imagine Takeo's surprise when at around five past six, he saw the lights in the kitchen already on when he wandered in to make breakfast.
And saw the window open.
And saw a blood trail leading to the living room.
And there, he say laying on the ottoman: a severed arm.
Takeo screamed.
Hidan bolted upright from his supine position on the flood hidden behind the couch and turned his head. He was wearing his clothes from the day before with mussed hair and a gaping hole on the left side of his body where his arm should be oh my fuck what was happening why was it just sitting there on the ottoman—
"Oh shit, it's morning already? Huh," Hidan mused before blinking at his son. "You okay, bud?"
Takeo had pressed himself as much as he could against the cabinets, his eyes staring at the ceiling to avoid all sights of bodily fluids and decapitated body parts. He knew his father couldn't be killed in any conventional way, but he'd never seen it in practice before.
Honestly, he thought that was kind of a long-running joke among everyone.
Apparently not. And it probably explained why his own pain tolerance was frighteningly and worryingly high.
"T-Tou-san... you... yo-your arm..."
Hidan looked down.
"Oh... right... Sorry you had to see that. I was trying to test out this theory and I thought I'd get it all cleaned before you woke up and kind of fell asleep."
Marisu poked her head from the hallway and observed the mess with an unimpressed eye. She then walked to her son's side and covered his eyes with one hand while patting his head with the other.
"Are you able to reattach your arm all by yourself?" she questioned. Hidan lifted his remaining hand and sent chakra to his palm, watching it as it burned green for a moment before he let it die out.
"Yeah, I got it. Takeo, you alright?"
The boy shakily held a thumbs up.
"To-To-Totally..."
Marisu, her hand still over his eyes, started to gently push him towards the door.
"We'll stand outside for a bit while you clean up your... experiment."
"Sounds fair. Won't take ten minu— fuck where's my pinky finger? Ugh. Fifteen minutes!"
It wasn't that Takeo hadn't seen body parts and blood before, but seeing one's father in a pool of his own blood and snoring with his arm staining the furniture wasn't exactly the ideal picture he'd like to suddenly wake up to.
::
Satoshi would be stealthy today.
His bangs were pinned back by his parents' extra large bobby pins too, so that just about doubled his stealth, meaning his was serious. His mom would be at work by now as per Otokage duties and his father...
What was today? Monday? He'd be at Intelligence today and would be staying at home two hours longer than normal than if he had hospital duty.
He slowly diminished his chakra and sent an essence creeping out the window, masking his own chakra and sticking to the shadows of the hall. Maybe his dad would fall for it this time— after all, he'd gotten good at the delicate nature of chakra control to the point where he could have zero detection.
Satoshi crept down the stairs, only pausing at the sound of crackling oil and the light tin of the morning radio. Dad was making breakfast, like usual and... fell for the essence he sent out the window? Hopefully.
He darted to the kitchen island, stopped for a few heartbeats, then hid behind the wall near the front door. Dad was still at the stove with his hair tied in a high but and his lips taking a slight downturn as he glanced towards the stairs. Perfect. He didn't know.
Satoshi silently booked it to the front door and threw it open—
— only to collide into his dad's torso.
He groaned in defeat.
"It seems that you've lost again, Satoshi," Itachi noted, a small smile on his face. "Perhaps next time."
"I almost had it, though. What if I snuck out faster?"
"Speed shouldn't have been a factor as I'm still quicker than you. The essence was an interesting addition as opposed to the clone you used a week ago."
"Okay, okay. But when I do manage to reach the street before you catch me, will I still get to ask Sasuke-ji for those Konoha sweets?" he asked. Satoshi pouted as he meandered back into the house and removed the bobby pins, letting his bangs fall and cover half of his face like they normally did. Itachi patted his son's shoulder and returned to the kitchen.
"Of course. Breakfast is almost ready."
"Can I take a bento up to kaa-san today before I go see Deidara-oij?" Satoshi questioned. His dad smiled again.
"I think she'd like that."
::
"We only had one surgery today?"
"Yes. The other surgeons were booked from the recent overflow of patients the last few weeks. The few available didn't have enough experience to complete it," Kabuto explained, scrolling through some things on his tablet. "It's currently 6:43. You have paperwork until 8, a meeting at 8:15—"
"Can I get you to go to the meeting for me?"
"—no, you can't— that meeting lasts until 9, and between 9 and 10 is your first break of the day."
Sakura sighed and opened her laptop.
"Fine, fine. Tell me the rest of it after my break then," she said. "Which reminds me, can you organize these documents in the Archives for me? They're Kage-ranked classified and you're the only one with clearance."
Kabuto nodded.
"If I get back and find you gone, I'm going to email every restaurant in the village to not sell you anymore anmitsu," he threatened with a smile. She held a hand over her heart and rolled her chair away from him.
"You're a cruel, cruel man."
"Who will enjoy burning your entire liquor supply if you don't do your work."
"Che! One threat is enough for my poor soul, Kabuto, I get it," she pouted. He chuckled as he left her office, allowing Sakura to stare at the organized piles of paper at her feet, then at the documents she was currently opening on her laptop. "Over twenty years as Kage's right hand and Kabuto's still got that edge. Admirable."
She was delayed from starting her work for a little while when someone knocked twice on her window before opening it and slipping inside. Sakura brightened immediately.
"Good morning, kaa-san."
"Good morning, Satoshi," she greeted. He trotted to her side and she placed a quick kiss to the top of his head. "What brings you to my office so early in the morning?"
He placed a bento on his mother's desk.
"Tou-san let me take a bento up to you today," he said. "I heard you had to do an early surgery today and I didn't think you had breakfast, so I wanted to bring you some."
Her little boy's sweetness made her heart ache as she wrapped her arms around him and brought him close.
"Thank you for thinking of me and tell your tou-san I said thank you for making one of his amazing bentos."
Satoshi happily returned the hug. He didn't see his mom too often because of all the work she had to do for the village, but she really did make an effort to be in his life as much as possible. He even remembered the stories his uncles told him about when he was a baby and she'd bring him to the office sometimes just to hold him while she worked.
"I will. I have to go see Deidara-oji for training, but make sure to eat all of your bento, okay, kaa-san? You need to stay healthy," he reminded. Sakura brushed his bangs to the side.
"I promise," she grinned. "Now don't make too much trouble for Deidara, okay? He already had a heart attack when he found out who his knew team would be."
Satoshi hopped onto the windowsill and flashed a grin that matched his mother's.
"Don't worry, kaa-san. If we do mess with him, I'll send you a video."
"You better! Take care, I love you."
"I love you too! Have a good day at work!"
He closed the window behind him as he bounded off to his designated training field. That boy, always a troublemaker but had such a kind heart. Sakura opened her bento, sighing a second time at the delicious smell, and dug in. It wasn't five minutes later that her laptop flashed and a request for a video call popped up.
She clicked answer.
"Hey, Sakura-chan! You look happy even though it's super early."
She took in the wariness in Naruto's smile, the lingering tiredness in his voice, and the sad look in his eyes. She set down her chopsticks.
"What's wrong?"
He paused, probably to make some excuse that nothing was really wrong, but he couldn't find it in himself to lie and sunk down in his chair.
"It's... It's Boruto," he said. He glanced away from the camera for a moment with his lips pressed together and his eyes growing even sadder. "... I'm just a shitty father. So shitty that my own son hates me."
"Naruto..."
"When I dreamed to be Hokage, I... I honestly didn't think I'd have a family too," he confessed. "I was so ready to take up the mantle and be there for the people, to show everyone that I wasn't the fox brat they all thought I was. I was ready to be Hokage, then I fell in love with Hinata. We had Boruto and Himawari and I love them all so much but I... I thought I could balance everything with being Hokage and I thought that I could do it."
"Naruto, you've only been Hokage for a few years. You're still learning what it means to be a parent and a leader at the same time," she tried. His shoulders dropped.
"He told me..." he gulped. No tears had come out of his eyes, but he started rubbing at them. "He told me I didn't know how to be a Hokage while still his father. He was right. And I'm scared that I'll never figure out how to be both. What if I really don't?"
"You will."
"But what if I—"
"You. Will," she repeated firmly, then her tone softened. "You're Uzumaki Naruto, aren't you? The man who could do anything he set his mind to. You have wonderful children, a loving wife, your lifelong dream in your hands, and the respect of everyone in the world! Boruto might've said he hates you, but you know that's not true. You know it."
He looked more encouraged than he had when he first called her, but he was still a far cry from the Naruto she knew. Sakura moved her bento to the side and scanned the calendar on her desk.
"Here, you're going to be coming to Oto in a couple of weeks to meet with me to discuss our village relations. When you come to visit we can talk about what you can do about Boruto," she said. His face lit up.
"Sakura-chan you're the best, dattebayo!"
She huffed and picked her chopsticks back up.
"Of course I am. So tell me, do you happen to know how to evade someone who's trying to get you to do paperwork?"
::
So, a question for those who read Stumble: Rewrite.
Would you guy prefer an extremely long chapter on the Chuunin Exams, or the arc to be cut into two pieces?
Because my outline of that one chapter took over 5,000 and I'm expecting it to be much longer than the most recent chapter.