After sweeping the ashes onto the blanket, she carried it with the corners held together, the middle dropping down with the weight of the dust.
I stopped by the shed and we got in the car. “Where are we doing this?”
I turned toward my friend and replied, “I was thinking in my backyard, next to where we buried that old dog of his. He’d like that, I guess, if he were here. He loved that dog.” When we were younger, we had an old golden retriever (Patches) that we had to have put down. I honestly wasn’t much of a dog person, but Luke loved him.
“I guess that makes sense.” As we drove away, I realized that Katie hadn’t seemed too upset about what happened.
“So, are you okay?”
She tore her eyes from the window. “I’m sorry, what?”
“I said, are you okay? I mean, Luke’s sort of gone.”
“I’m fine. I’m torn up inside, really, but what am I supposed to do? Sit around for the rest of my life, waiting for him to come back, even though I know it’s never gonna happen? That may work for some people, but that’s not how I want to spend my life. Besides, when I was upset about things, Luke would come talk to me, and he always made me smile, he always made me stop crying, so I don’t see why he would want me to cry now that he’s gone.”
I nodded. “Some people grieve in different ways I guess.”
“I’m just thinking about all the good times. I want to remember him as Luke, not a pile of dust in a blanket.”
I smiled. “That makes sense.” When we got to my house, my parents weren’t home, like usual, and so we went to the back and looked for the right pine tree. I started digging a hole, and got it about two feet deep. Katie lowered to blanket into the “grave” and stood up straight.
“I’d like to say a few words.” I started burying the dust as I spoke. “My brother wasn’t my best friend. In fact, as you may recall, for years, I couldn’t stand him. He was loud, obnoxious, crazy, and I was completely annoyed by him. Until the day you pointed out to me that I was, too.
“I had just started becoming close with him when he left. And for a year, I couldn’t think anything bad about him. All I could think was that I missed him. And I think I should tell you something, Katie. While he was gone, Luke and I had a little bit of communication. An email every month or so. It started with him telling me that he was safe, and not to tell mom and dad where he was. Then he started telling me about what he was doing, people he was meeting. But he told me not to tell anyone.”
She suddenly looked upset. But after a moment, she sighed and responded, “Well, that makes sense. I mean, you guys were pretty close, whether you wanted to be or not.”
I smiled, glad that she took it so well. “Now, I have some things to say.”
She stepped closer to the grave and smiled as she told all her favorite memories involving him. Some I remembered, some I didn’t. She told me about when we were little kids, he tried to kiss her but she kicked him in the shins. On their first date, he was being really cheesy with the yawn/arm around the shoulder move, and opening the door for her.
When she was done, we moved a fairly large rock on top of the grave to serve as a tomb stone. We sat for another hour, telling stories about him, talking about what to do next, that sort of thing. After a while, we went inside and saw that it was about two in the afternoon. “Hey, can I have some Tylenol?”
I nodded and got Katie a glass and bottle of pills. She took one and I started thinking about lunch.
I know how horrible that sounds. Thinking about food at a time like this, but I hadn’t eaten since last night.
“Hey, why don’t we make those chicken things? In memory of Luke, I mean.”
I smiled. When Luke was twelve, he went through a health food craze, and invented this weird dish. You grill a piece of chicken on the barbeque and then wrap it in lettuce, like a burrito, lettuce wrap, only with a whole chicken piece.
I started getting out lettuce and was relieved when I saw we had iceberg. I know, iceberg lettuce isn’t that healthy, but it had big enough leafs. I also got out some chicken from the freezer and put it in the microwave to defrost it. After about ten minutes we were putting them on the grill, and twenty minutes after that, we were eating the Luke wrap. It was weird, but I loved it.
I was never a cook, so don’t start thinking I am, but Luke was, and when I remember how to make something, I can cook it pretty easily. Luke was better with a whisk than I was, though.
We talked a while more about Luke’s life, and after a while, we decided we had grieved enough.
“So tell me about this Kyle. Well, he’s the same cute guy from the store, right?”
“Yup.”
“And he’s interested in you?”
“I guess you could say that.”
“So where’s your problem?”
“Um, he sort of killed my brother.”
“Oh, right. But didn’t he do that to protect you? I mean, because he was a vampire, maybe he wasn’t the same person.”
“Katie, he was changed before he left. Before your last date. He would have beaten that guy up for you if he was human. And did you notice a difference in him on Wednesday? I didn’t see anything, really last night. He was just my brother, like always.”
“Well, I think you need to talk to… Kyle, right? Maybe he has something to s-”
“Well it’s a little late for that. I couldn’t even if I wanted to. I told him to get out of my life forever.”
“Didn’t you say that enough times before last night? And he never listened to you.”
“Well, I think it sunk in this time. He actually walked away this time.”
She frowned. “Lainey, I have to ask you something.” I looked at her, urging her to continue. “Are you seriously still not over Cody? Or are you using that as an excuse to stay away from guys?”
I thought a moment. “I guess I’m over him. I’m just not over what happened. And I guess I do use it as an excuse to hate guys.”
“But your brother was a guy.”
I laughed. “Really? I never noticed.”
“Well what does that say about me? Did you think I was dating a girl?”
I nodded and laughed harder.
“But really,” Katie continued when she calmed down, “you don’t hate your brother, or Kaine or Mikey or those guys.”
“Well, I guess…” I didn’t know why I didn’t hate them. “I don’t know.”
“But you still think that all guys are jerks?”
“Most. Pretty much. Exclude my brother, and you’re right. I mean, last night, Kaine and some girl were in your room, so I can’t think of him as a saint.”
She became serious, with a disgusted look on her face. “You said what now? That probably explains why there was… EWWW!”
I didn’t want to know what she was thinking about.
“You know what I think, though, Lainey Butler?”
“Oh, gosh. Full name is never good. I’m not going to like, am I?”
“No. I think that when you were telling me about Monday, you smiled every time you said Kyle’s name. And then when you got to last night, you really tried to look like you hated him. But I don’t think you do.”
I frowned. “How could I not? Remember what he did?”
“You hate what he did. Not him.”
“Even if I was interested, he knows about Cody. I told him. Last I checked, guys don’t like girls with bad pasts.”
She looked shocked. “You told him?”
“Yeah. He wouldn’t let me come back unless I told him.”
“And you told him? You won’t even talk about it with me.”
“We sort of are, now, aren’t we?”
“Right. Wait! You’re letting me talk with you about this?”
“I guess.”
“So, now that you know Kyle, you’re suddenly over Cody, and willing to talk to him?” she wriggled her eyebrows in that really weird way some people do.
“What’s your point?”
“My point, is that you like him. Whether you want to or not, you like him.”
“Cody? We’ve been over this-“
“No! Not Cody! Kyle!”
I slipped sarcasm into my voice now. “Uh huh. I’m just totally in love with the guy who murdered my brother! Crazy girl!”
“You can try to deny it, but you are.”
“Liar!”
She got up and walked up to my room, coming back a minute later with some good movies we watched when McKenzie died. They were all really sad, yet happy at the same time.
“I think we need to get off this topic for a while. Don’t you?” I smiled and we started up this really awesome movie called “The Ultimate Gift”.
[A/N: at some point, I wrote “I’ve never had anyone close to me die,” and I’m sorry. When I wrote that, I had forgotten about McKenzie then. Anyway, Please take a second to vote, and/or ten seconds to write a comment. I really want to hear from you guys, my awesome fans who put me at over 1,200 reads! I love you all!]