"A ship is always safe at shore, but that is not what it is built for."
-Albert Einstein
•••
"I need water." Zay says, after nearly half an hour in silence.
"Join the club." Ashton replies, staring off into the distance.
We've been sitting on a massive shard of concrete for the past two hours, waiting for any kind of help to arrive. The fountain stopped spraying water a few minutes after we left the basement, so all that's left for us to salvage through is murky and sour. It does nothing to soothe the sandpaper in my throat.
I can't stop thinking about my family. Hell, they've probably heard this on the news by now, and are worried sick about me. I can't call them, I can't contact them in any way. The phone lines have been destroyed. It's so frustrating it hurts.
"You should probably go check on the girl again." Zay mutters, playing with his fingers.
As if on que, footsteps sound from around the broken corner, and the black girl from earlier walks out. She takes a seat next to Ashton, putting her face in her hands. She's covered in blood, probably not her own, with a massive gash on the side of her right arm. She doesn't look like she could give less of a shit.
"Hey, you ok?" Ashton asks, reaching to put a hand on her shoulder. She slaps it away.
"I just watched my brother die, you cunt, of course I'm not ok."
"Ok, ok, I'm sorry." Ashton says quickly, putting his hands up. His eyes are sad. "Really, I am. I wish I could have saved him. It's not your fault, you know that, right?"
"I really don't want to have this conversation right now." The girl replies, sounding close to tears again.
"Ok." He says. "Then we won't, can you at least tell me your name?"
The girl is silent, and for a moment I don't think she's going to answer. Then, in a quiet, barely there voice, she says "Jess."
Ashton nods, but doesn't attempt to continue the conversation.
Twenty more minutes pass. I'm obsessively tapping my foot on the ground, sending up a flurry of ash and making my breathing situation even worse. I'm so thirsty I can feel it in my bones.
"That's it." Xavier says, standing up with such force that the concrete slab shifts to the right. He runs his hands over his face. "I can't take this anymore. It's been nearly three hours, there's no help coming."
"You don't know tha-"
"I do know that." Zay snaps, cutting Ashton off mid sentence. "You know the government. You know Warner. There would have been planes here five minutes after the blast of this was a normal attack, but it's obviously not. We're still here."
"And what exactly do you think that means?" I ask, my voice barely recognizable. My throat hurts every time I make a sound.
Zay closes his eyes. "You think that it's possible that we're not the only ones who got bombed?"
Ashton looks at me. I look at Zay. Jess stares down at her blood soaked shoes.
"What if this was some sort of mass attack?" He continues, chewing on his nails now. "Like, a bomb in every state or something? Maybe they took Superior Warner. There's got to be a reason why we haven't seen or heard any help."
"Asia wouldn't bomb an entire continent." Ashton squints at him. "Kieran isn't that stupid. We've been far too mellow with them, and besides, you don't blow up an entire nation and expect the rest of the world to be ok with it."
"That doesn't me they didn't do it!" Zay throws his hands up. "Think about it, Asher or whatever the hell your name is. Nasim Kieran has never given a single shit about her country or anybody but herself. She could do something like this-" He gestures to the environment around us. "-to an entire planet and not bat an eye. Don't tell me this was just a single attack. Who the hell wants to bomb a university in bloody South Dakota for no reason?"
Silence. Ashton blinks at him, looking a little stunned.
My family. My family. They could be in this same situation, or they could be dead, or they could be fine. I pray to every God I can think of that it's the last one.
"Orange boy is right." Jess speaks up, finally lifting her swollen eyes to look at us. "Something big happened. This can't be normal."
"So what do you suggest we do?" Ashton stands up now, too, rubbing at the back of his neck. "What can we do? If the entire continent's been bombed, we might as well kiss our asses goodbye."
"No." I say, coughing. "No, we will not."
Everybody stares at me like I've grown a second head. Except Zay. He just looks exhausted.
"Somewhere out there, my family is either hurt, dead, or alive and worried. So are all of yours. Do you really want to just give up on them? We can't just sit here and wait for death, I won't do it."
Zay sighs. "My sister is in Honolulu on her honeymoon. Mom and Dad are gone. If she's hurt, there's no way I can get to her. It's not worth it."
Jess puts her head in her hands. "My parents live in Nebraska." She whispers. "They're.. They're all I've got left now."
Ashton sits back down on the concrete shard, next to me. He's silent for a moment, then lets out a rough laugh. "I don't give a shit if my parents are dead." He says.
Nobody speaks. I can feel the tension hanging over our heads like the smoke is right now. What are we supposed to do? What can we do? We are standing in the middle of mass destruction, everything smoking with no resources and no help. All four of us are bleeding at least somewhere. What are we going to do?
"You know." Zay speaks up, staring blankly off in the distance with absolutely no emotion in his voice. "This is usually the part in apocalypse movies where the main characters step up and go off on some heroic quest to save themselves and their families."
"This isn't a movie, orange boy." Jess mutters.
"It might as well be."
"So what if we do go off on some heroic quest? Where would we go? We have no way to tell direction, no resources, and no idea what the hell is going on. We could leave here and a first aid helicopter could show up five minutes later." Ashton scoffs.
Xavier is silent for a moment, thinking. "We follow the roads. They may not be intact, but I'm pretty sure the scrambled bits of asphalt haven't strayed that far from their place. We should be able to tell the directions from those."
"We could get supplies from the student center." I cough. Zay has a point, and if this is the only way I can get to my family, I won't hesitate. "Or at least what's left of it. They have twenty four packs of water and shit in there. It's a long shot, but it's all we have."
Ashton scoffs again, a crazy kind of look on his face. "You've got to be kidding. You guys aren't serious, right?"
Nobody denies it. Even Jess shrugs.
More silence, and looks from an exasperated Ashton. I force myself to stand, still coughing, and reach out a hand to Jess. She looks at it, then me, and stands up on her own.
"Well, do you know where we are?" I ask Zay, hugging my arms around my chest.
Xavier eyes the perimeter, and slowly nods. "We took a right once we got out of the Biology building's basement. This looks like the student housing department." He gestures to the sizzling wreckage of a building in front of us.
"The student center should be a couple blocks off, around that corner." Ashton says, crossing his arms over his chest. "If it's even still standing."
"Doubt it, but it's our only chance."
"Let's just go." Jess says, voice hard. "I can't keep standing here knowing my brother's body is less than twenty yards away. Please."
Zay and Ashton make eye contact, but before they can move I let out an exasperated sigh and start walking myself. Eventually I hear their footsteps behind me, so I just keep my head up and trudge on.
The main plaza is an inch deep in murky, ashy, disgusting water, all underneath tons of wreckage. It's hard not to step in it even as we're walking on the edge, following where he sidewalk would be if this didn't happen. There's a sour smell in the air. There's still no sun.
We find the biology building, thanks to the cracked, fallen sign laying halfway in the water in front of it. The entire top of the structure has been blown off and resides to the right of the open basement, still burning. I get a brief glimpse of a blood splattered broken glass window, and my stomach churns.
My bag sits on the edge of the hole, right where me and Xavier climbed up and out of the area. I pick it up and sling it over my shoulder, before following Ashton as he heads down what's left of the opposite street, presumably leading the way to the student center. His boots leave footprints on the ash-covered concrete. Xavier walks beside me, staring straight ahead with his jaw set. Jess just follows with her eyes on the ground.
I honestly don't know what to feel. I almost feel numb, so many emotions swirling in side of me that they all just sort of mush together. It kind of makes me want to throw up, but considering I already have three times I don't think anything would come out even if I tried.
"Do you think we're gonna die?" Xavier asks suddenly, breaking through the fog of my thoughts. His voice is bleak, fairly unreadable. He seems more like a brick wall than a normal human being at the moment.
"No." Is all I say, refusing to think anything else. We can survive this. We have to. There's no other option.
"Why not?"
"Because we aren't."
Before he can get a chance to reply, Ashton stops walking, effectively making us all do the same. We've come to a halt in front of the smoldering shell of a building, with a sign laying broken on the ground in front of it that reads SU STUDENT CENTER. I vaguely remember coming here often my first semester to buy coffee and study in the lounge area. There was always a fairly large convenience store in the back with a little bit of everything, which seems like it's gonna be a life saver.
"Ok, Alex." Ashton says. "You lead the way."
Gritting my teeth, I step into the destroyed mess that is the remains of the center. The place is so wrecked it almost seems like it's been done in with an old fashioned bulldozer. With fire, of course. Lots of fire.
The rest follow suit, and after couple minutes of walking I'm about to say screw it and except the reality of my impending death when I step down on something that makes a loud crackling sound.
Everybody freezes. Slowly, I reach down, and my heart skips a beat when I pull a bag of flaming Taquitos from the ashes.
"Jackpot." Zay whispers.
Immediately all four of us drop to our knees, scrambling through the wreckage and pulling out bags of beef jerky, snacks, bottles of water, Gatorade, campus t-shirts and even duck tape. Everything gets thrown into a massive pile in the middle of our little space, and nobody stops until we can't find anything in the ashes anymore.
I don't think I've ever sucked down hot bottled water so fast in my life.
We all just stare at the stock pile for the next few minutes, water dripping down our chins. It's not clear what we should be doing, or where we could go. The only thing that matters at the moment is that my lungs don't feel like raisins anymore.
"So." Zay coughs, and it turns into hacking until he can regain his composure. "What -- Now?"
Ashton bites at his bottom lip. All of us are so coated in grime and dust, it's almost comical how prominent our now clean mouths are. The curly haired boy's are a blast of pink paint on a grey canvas.
"Stay here and wait for help?" He suggests, but his voice is bland and doubtful.
"Excuse me, what did you say? Follow the West Highway and try and find Jess and Alex's families? Amazing idea." Zay shrugs, and gets up to start shoving supplies in one of the campus-distributed bags in the pile. I copy his actions, stuffing my backpack with as much stuff as possible.
Jess doesn't move, and neither does Ashton. Instead he stands up, and begins to turn around.
"Wait, where are you going?" Jess squeaks, hugging her knees to her chest.
"Not with you guys." Ashton scoffs. "Do you honestly think ravaging through this massive fucking mess is going to accomplish anything? You'll be lost in a day, and I'll be sitting in the back of a rescue helicopter watching."
Now Zay stands up. Oh, shit.
"Are you kidding me?" He exclaims, throwing his hands up in the air. "You think just sitting here, three hours after the blast, waiting for mommy to come and get you is better idea?" Zay crosses his arms over his chest. "You know, Asher, I could have sworn that medical majors were supposed to be smart."
Ashton's expression darkens. "Excuse me?"
Zay narrows his eyes. "You know exactly what I said."
The next few events happen so fast I barely have time to process them. The look on Ashton's face turns to that of pure rage, and then he takes four steps forward and rams his fist into Zay's mouth.
"HEY!" I yell, barely standing up in time for Zay to swear loudly and send a punch into Ashton's stomach, only for Ashton to pick him up and flip him over his back like he weighs no more than a paper clip. Zay hits the ground hard, spitting blood and kicking, and just as Ashton is about to pounce on him I throw myself in between them.
"HEY!" I yell again, shoving my hand against Ashton's chest and holding Zay down with my foot. "CALM THE HELL DOWN!"
"Mother fucker-"
I shove Ashton away from Zay with one hard push, making sure the red head stays down. I glare at the both of them, holding my hands out. "That's enough."
"Did you hear what that little punk said to me? I'm gonna kill him-"
"ASHTON!" I scream at him, and he shuts up. There's a crazy kind of blaze in his eyes. Clearly, he doesn't do well with having his intelligence insulted. "Enough. You need to calm down."
On the ground, Zay huffs out a bloody laugh. "Yeah, smart boy-"
I kick him in the groin, and his sentence is cut off abruptly in a wheeze.
"Just SHUT UP, the both of you!"
After a few minutes of nothing but ferocious growling, Ashton spits on the ground, scowls, and walks away.
You've got to be kidding me right now.
"Seriously, Zay?" I throw my hands up. "Was that really fucking necessary?"
Shaking my head, I hurry to follow Ashton as he slips out of the buildings shell, starting down the ruined street. He walks surprisingly fast for somebody who just got punched in the stomach. "Hey." I say, approaching him from behind. He doesn't respond. I grab his arm, forcing him to spin around and look at me. "Ashton."
"Just leave me alone, alright? I'll do just fine on my own." He runs a hand through his hair, and I grab his wrist when he starts to turn around again.
"Look, I know you think you'll be ok. And I know you think this is the right thing, but it's not."
He raises an eyebrow. "And what makes you so sure?"
"Regardless if help comes or not, you will still be alone. There is no way you'd be able to flag down a hovercraft or helicopter by yourself. It's been three hours, Ashton. Nothing is coming."
"You don't know that."
I sigh in frustration, rubbing the back of my neck. I start to smart off, but stop myself. "Ok, you know what? I don't. But I do know one thing. Four people is better than one. If you want to stay here and starve to death waiting for a rescue vehicle by yourself, that's your choice. But you could be with three other people who have food and supplies, and collective intelligence. You're a medical major, Ashton. If one of us gets hurt, you could be our only hope. Just think about what you're doing. Please."
He just stares at me, the words rolling over in his head.
"And I swear I'll keep Zay away from you. You won't even have to see that asshole. Just please, don't do this."
Ashton bites at his bottom lip, and exhales. He closes his eyes for a moment, seemingly thinking, before he opens them again and let's out an exasperated sigh. "Ok, fine. But I'm taking your word for it."
Relief floods through me, and I almost hug him but decide that wouldn't be the best idea. "Thank God. Now come on, we better get moving."
I turn around and move towards the entrance to the building again, dipping inside. Xavier and Jess are exactly how I left them, Jess curled in on herself on the ground and Zay holding his mouth while propped up one of the scattered metal beams. He glances up when I enter, having the grace to look at least a little guilty.
"Ok." I pick up the half-stuffed bag the red head was working on, and throw it in his lap. "Stuff this until you can barely zip it. I'll do the same with my bag. Jess, see if you can find another store one to fill. And Ashton-" I look up, happy to see he's decided to join the party. "You do the same. We need to try and get everything, God knows how long this is gonna last."
A few grumbles erupt in protest, including an 'Ok, Sergeant' from Xavier, but everybody does as told. I fill my now torn bag with as much stuff as I can before zipping it up and strapping it to my back, now carrying a good ten pounds more. By the time I'm done the pile in the center is gone, nothing left but a few extra campus t-shirts and the duct tape.
I look down at my white tank top and jandals, and reach to grab one of the shirts. I decide to keep the tank top on, because the air is ridiculously hot, and wrap the t-shirts around my exposed feet before duct taping them to keep them secure. Now I have a pair of makeshift closed toed shoes.
I honestly don't know how I feel right now, other than a mixture of fear and worry. All I want is to find my family, and figure out what the hell is going on. Staying in this group is the only chance I have.
"Alright." Zay says when I'm finally ready, everybody standing up. "So both of your parents live in Nebraska, right?" He gestures to me and Jess. "That's south. We can take the west highway out of town and go from there."
"How are we going to get there in time?" Jess asks, her voice small. "It'll take at least a week to walk there. We don't even know if they're alive."
"Well, it's the only chance we have." I tell her, adjusting the bag on my back. I notice hers is significantly smaller than everybody else's. "It's better to look for them than to just sit here and do nothing, right?"
Jess bites her lip. "I guess?"
"Alright, then lets go." Zay sends a look at Ashton, and starts walking out of the building. We all trail behind him, Jess bringing up the back, and I slow my pace to walk next to her.
"Are you sure you want to do this?" I ask, keeping my voice neutral. I don't want her to think I'm pitying her. I hate being pitied.
"What other choice do I have." She mutters. It's not a question.
Deciding to take the hint that she wants to be alone, I walk ahead and join Zay. His brows are pulled together, focused, his eyes scaling the broken landscape until they land on a trail of shattered asphalt. We follow it, and it eventually leads us to the west highway. It's uprooted and unsteady, cracks spidering out everywhere, but it's at least held it's shape.
"Well, I guess this is it, then?" Ashton says, staring at the long road ahead of us. The four of us stand in a line, observing the path.
"Yep." I say. "This is it."
And so it begins. As my feet pound against the steaming asphalt, I try not to think about my family, who could be screaming in pain or burning alive at this very moment. My family, who I have no way to contact and no current way to help.
My family, who I may never see again.
•••
mr blue eyes comes in next chapter yo ;)
sorry for the wanky update schedule, they'll be a little scattered until this story actually starts getting reads and then it will level out
love you lots and stay rad
Xoxo
~Camryn